Lyr Add: parodies sung by Homer and Jethro

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 10:17 PM

The wooden leg has obviously been "screwed in" and he is "unscrewing" her... the jokes follow on from there... :-)

Robin

Subject: Lyr Add: I'LL NEVER WALTZ AGAIN (Homer and Jethro)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 11:41 PM

The following is apparently a parody of I'LL NEVER WALTZ AGAIN WITH YOU by Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen—but I have been unable to find any lyrics, sound samples, or recording information about that song. I must admit I don't understand the last two verses of the parody. There seems to be a joke or two there that I don't get. Maybe it would help if I knew the original.

Transcribed from the sound file at The Record Lady's All-Time Country Favorites, Real Country Page 33.

I'LL NEVER WALTZ AGAIN
(As sung by Homer and Jethro)

I'll never waltz again with you,
'Specially when you're wearin' slacks.
If women have to wear the britches,
They should never turn their backs.

Oh, I used to waltz with you
When you were my little queen.
I was eight and you was nine,
And that just made us seventeen.

Here's how she does the hula dance:
Around her neck, she ties some hops.
She ties some hay around her waist.
Then she just rotates the crops.

I'll never waltz again with her,
'Cause she shimmies and she struts.
Ever'body calls her Hershey.
That's because she is half nuts.

(Instrumental break, featuring a guitar playing off-key)
(Spoken:)
--Hey, Jethro!
--Huh?
--Is he playin' what's written?
--No, Homer, he's playin' what's rotten.

The other night we went to town,
And then I took her to a fancy ball,
And as I waltzed her round and round,
I noticed that she kept a-getting tall.

As we tried to swing and sway,
Suddenly I hear'd her say:
"Dear, I've got a wooden leg.
You're turning me the wrong way."

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 03 Oct 03 - 03:01 AM

I'm gettin nuttin for Christmas

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 03 Oct 03 - 02:57 AM

POOR OL' KOO-LIGER (Homer & Jethro)

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 03 Oct 03 - 02:54 AM

Thread Mama Don't Whip Little Buford

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 03 Oct 03 - 02:49 AM

I Really Don't Want to Know

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 01:28 AM

I SAW MOMMY SMOOCHIN' SANTA CLAUS

Subject: Lyr Add: CHARLIE CHEATED ON HIS INCOME TAX
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 08:08 PM

Here's one sung by Homer and Jethro that they don't seem to have written or rewritten themselves. I don't think this is a parody of any particular song (but if I'm wrong, and anyone recognizes it, please let me know!) but rather a satire on the whole folk music revival. I think I hear echoes of the Kingston Trio, various bad-man ballads like Tom Dooley, and especially The M.T.A. (Transcribed from the sound file at The Record Lady's All-Time Country Favorites, Real Country Page 32):

CHARLIE CHEATED ON HIS INCOME TAX
(Milton Addington, Dickey Lee, Allen Reynolds)

(Citizens, listen: I tell you, danger lurks all about us. Now here's the story of an ordinary man...)
I've been workin' on the railroad...
(...who fell victim to a governmental structure that he loved but never understood. Listen well. This could have been you.)

Come all you taxpayers and listen to me well.
I've a story that's very sad to tell
'Bout a victim of the system of legislative acts.
They say Charlie cheated on his income tax.

Now Charlie's been a good man 'most all of his life.
He never even cheated on his wife. (Oh, no?)
A pillar of society, a credit to his folks,
And he'd die 'fore he'd tell a dirty joke.

Charlie, Charlie, what did you do?
Twenty-nine T-men a-comin' after you.
You must be guilty of an awful crime,
If you're worth so much civil service time.

Well, the trouble really started when he bought an old guitar,
Learned to play it like his fav'rite record star, (Don Bowman!)
And when he made twenty dollars on an amateur show,
He declared it so his Uncle Sam would know.

But the form that used was a ten-twenty sheet.
After five o'clock, that form is obsolete,
And between the hours of ten and twelve, you use a W-2,
But on holidays, you file an L-O-Q.

Charlie, Charlie, waltzed through the town,
Handcuffs on and his head a-hangin' down,
Disgraced and dishonored while friends turned their backs,
Thinkin' Charlie cheated on his income tax.

The judge at the trial said, "I understand your plight.
This time I'm gonna make the sentence light."
Well, Charlie stood and faced the bench and shed a grateful tear
As they led him off with only ninety years.

Charlie, Charlie, victim of our time,
Never even understood the nature of his crime,
A lesson to us all that we never can relax
Lest they call us in for cheatin' on our income tax.

I've been workin' on the railroad all the livelong day...

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 11:43 PM

DON'T LET THE STARS GET IN YOUR EYEBALLS

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 11:28 AM

I had the pleasure of seeing Homer & Jethro live as a teen in the about 1967 on a package show in Chicago that radio station WJJD used to promote.

I also got to meet Jethro Burns much later on. He used to be found quite regularly hanging out at Guitar Works in Evanston.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Gern
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 11:14 AM

My version was taken from a "Homer and Jethro in Concert" LP, which would be worth the trouble to find.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 11:26 AM

TIGER BY THE TAIL (parody, Homer & Jethro)

Subject: Lyr Add: LET ME GO, BLUBBER (Homer & Jethro)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Sep 03 - 09:28 PM

The recording at The Record Lady's All-Time Country Favorites (Real Country Page 24) is somewhat different from what Gern quoted above, and it has an extra verse. There is nothing about "Fascination" in this recording.

LET ME GO, BLUBBER
(as sung by Homer & Jethro)

Let me go. Let me go. Let me go, Blubber.
Let me scat like a cat 'way from you.
You're too fat in the first place. You know it's true.
You're too fat in the second place, too.

When I said that your bustle was as cute as could be,
You said, "Darling, that's no bustle. That's me."
Oh, turn me loose. Please reduce your caboose, Blubber.
Pound for pound, you're just too round for me.

When you had your appendix removed at last,
They didn't know whether to operate or blast.
Let me go. Let me go. Let me go, Blubber.
Set me free. You're just too much for me.

Subject: Lyr Add: MAMA, GET THE HAMMER (Homer & Jethro)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Sep 03 - 08:59 PM

This song has been mentioned several times at Mudcat. The title appears on several lists of worst/best/funniest country song titles--lists that have been propagated through the Internet. No artist is ever credited. I wonder if the people who posted the title even knew the song was real?

The song sounds like a polka, but I don't recognize the tune. If it's a parody, I don't know the original.

Transcribed by me from the sound file at The Record Lady's All-Time Country Favorites, Real Country Page 15.

MAMA, GET THE HAMMER (THERE'S A FLY ON PAPA'S HEAD)
(As sung by Homer and Jethro)

A little fly upon the wall
Had no place to crawl at all.
All at once, his wings were spread
Right on dear old papa's head.

CHORUS: Mama, get the hammer. There's a fly on papa's head.
You heard what I said: there's a fly on papa's head.
If you can't get a hammer, get a crowbar, ma, instead.
There's a fly on papa's head.

Well, the fly flew through an open flue,
And flew till he was black and blue.
Instead of flying right straight home,
He flew on top of papa's dome. CHORUS

Horsefly, please don't bother me.
Go fly up an apple tree.
Horsefly says, "Now look here, Joe.
I'll go where I want to go." CHORUS

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Sep 03 - 03:40 PM

I posted FRIENDSHIP, written by Cole Porter, as performed by Homer & Jethro, here. That one was also transcribed from the sound file at The Record Lady's All-Time Country Favorites, Real Country Page 13.

Subject: Lyr Add: BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE (Homer & Jethro)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 18 Sep 03 - 01:48 AM

I took a crack at transcribing this from The Record Lady's All-Time Country Favorites, Real Country Page 29:

There are still a few missing or uncertain phrases indicated by (?)

BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE
(As sung by Homer and Jethro and June Carter)

JUNE, SPOKEN: I gotta get home, fellers. I can't stay here all night.
JETHRO, SPOKEN: It's kinda cold out there, June.
HOMER, SPOKEN: Yep, it shore is.
JUNE: I ain't a-fixin' to stay.
H&J: But, baby, it's cold outside.
JUNE: I gotta get away.
H&J: But, baby, it's cold outside.
JUNE: This evenin' has been--
H&J: Been hopin' that you fall in.
JUNE: --so very nice.
H&J: I'll hold your hands; they're just like feet.
JUNE: Mommy will start to worry.
H&J: Beautiful, what's your hurry?
JUNE: ... (?) will get the shotgun now.
H&J: If he does, we'll hafta leave town.
JUNE: Maybe I'd better scurry.
H&J: Have a drink. What's your hurry?
JUNE: Maybe just a half a jug more.
H&J: Put some Eddy Arnold records on while I pour.
JUNE: The neighbors might think--
H&J: But, baby, it's bad out there.
JUNE: Say, what's in this here drink?
H&J: That ain't sarsaparilly there.
JUNE: I wish I knew how--
H&J: Your eyeballs are poppin' out now.
JUNE: --to break the spell.
H&J: I'll take your hair; your hat looks swell.
JUNE: 'Course they know no worser (?)
H&J: Mind if we move in closer?
JUNE: At least I'm puttin' up a good fight.
H&J: Boy, this black eye sure is a sight.
JUNE: I really can't stay.
H&J: Oh, baby, don't hold out.
ALL THREE: Ah, but it's cold outside.

[MANDOLIN SOLO]
HOMER (SPOKEN): Ah, pick it warm, Jethro.

JUNE: I simply must go.
H&J: But, baby, it's cold outside.
JUNE: The answer is no.
H&J: But, baby, it's cold outside.
JUNE: The weatherman said--
H&J: How lucky that you fell in.
JUNE: --it would be fair.
H&J: That ain't soap chips falling out there.
JUNE: Sister will be suspicious.
H&J: Gosh, your lips looks like petals.
JUNE, SPOKEN: Petals?
JETHRO, SPOKEN: Yeah, bicycle pedals.
[HOMER giggles.]
JUNE: My brother will be waitin' at the door.
H&J: Hope he won't be too sore.
JUNE: Aunt Sary's mind is suspicious
H&J: Gosh, your lips are delicious.
JUNE: Gimme the key to that door.
H&J: Never seen a turtle bump a lizard before.
JUNE: I gotta get home.
H&J: But, baby, you'd freeze out there.
JUNE: Say, lend me a comb.
H&J: It's up to your knees out there.
JUNE: You boys have been grand--
H&J: We'd just like I hold your hand.
JUNE: --but don't you see--
H&J: How can you do this thing to me?
JUNE: There will be talk tomorrow.
H&J: Think of my lifelong sorrow--
JUNE: At least there will be plenty implied.
H&J: --if you caught pneumonia and died.
JUNE: I really can't stay.
H&J: Your antifreeze won't hold out.
ALL THREE: Ah, but/Baby, it's cold outside.

Subject: Lyr Add: GAL FROM POSSUM HOLLER (Homer & Jethro)
From: Gern
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 11:30 AM

Gee, I wish I could figure out the line break thing... Oh well, here's another, but this one is only approximate. I no longer own a copy, so I have to guess on this and leave out the last verse. Maybe someone knows the correct version. It's a killer:

THE GAL FROM POSSUM HOLLER
[To the tune of "The Girl From Ipanema" by Carlos Jobim.]

Short and fat and mean and sassy
The gal from Possum Holler comes passing
And when she passes, the guys she passes go "Bleah..."

When she goes by walking, from the back
She looks like two bobcats fighting in a tater sack
And when she passes, the guys she passes go, "Bleah..."

Oh, how that woman can bug me
I'd die if I thought that she loved me
She has such an excess of ugly
That each day when she goes to the 'crick'
Even the catfish get sick [...]

Gern: Nowadays you don't have to do anything special to get line breaks. They will appear just as you typed them. --JoeClone, 18-Sep-03.

Subject: Lyr Add: LET ME GO, BLUBBER (Homer and Jethro)
From: Gern
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 11:25 AM

LET ME GO, BLUBBER
[to the tune of "Let Me Go, Lover" by Hank Snow and Patti Page.]

Let me go, let me go, let me go, Blubber
Let me scat like a cat from your arms.
You're too fat in the first place, and you know that it's true
You're too fat, in the second place, too.
When I told her her new bustle was cute as could be
She said "Homer, that's no bustle, it's me"
Turn me loose, please reduce your caboose, Blubber
Pound for pound, you're just too round, I've found.

[Here Jethro plays a refrain of "Fascination" Which Homer declares, Don't seem so fascinatin' to me." At the end of the refrain, Homer sings "She had nine buttons on her nightgown/But she could only fasten eight."]

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Gern
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 11:20 AM

Hey, I got a couple of these:

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 03:03 AM

At Last!

having found this thread, I think it's time for another peek, especially if anyone wants to harvest thongs...

Robin

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Iceboy
Date: 13 Feb 02 - 06:21 AM

In my opinion, Homer & Jethro may have been the most under-rated musical/comedy act of the last 60 years. I still have my father's origial copy of "The Worst of Homer & Jethro" featuring both June Carter "Baby It's Cold Outside," and Spike Jones "Pal-Yat-Chee." The whole album is a brilliant representation of 50's studio C&W work and PI period comedy. I toured for years with a couple different bands that didn't even listen to country, but Homer & Jethro would tapes during those long drives ould always get respect while causing tears to roll down our faces and our sides to hurt from laughter. Saw them in Spokane, Wa in 1963 and will never foget it. Americana at it's finest!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Genie
Date: 08 Feb 02 - 04:27 AM

Was there anything from their era that they didn't parody?

Genie

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: kendall
Date: 07 Feb 02 - 09:03 AM

I used to love to hear Jethro go from some silly piece into one of Brahms Hungarian Dance tunes, then back without missing a beat. They were great musicians. Spike Jones? you gotta be a musician to get a recognizable tune out of a sack of crowbars.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Canuck
Date: 07 Feb 02 - 04:46 AM

They parodied Johnny Cash's I don't like it (But I guess things happen that way)

some of the lyric:

Our last record wasn't a hit
They forgot to put a hole in it
I don't like it but I guess things happen that way
The reason that it never sold
It's a nine inch record with a twelve inch hole

Johnny Cash made this a hit
We're gonna put a stop to it
He don't like it, but I guess things happen that way
&c. &c.
And, in their performance of Bismarck, they did the line "Our souls were full of hope" by singing "And our holes--our souls--were full of hope" haha those guys were SO funny, and great musicians!

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Gene
Date: 07 Feb 02 - 03:33 AM

Their modern day counterparts are Pinkard & Bowden...

Help Me Make It Thru The Yard
Blue Hair Drivin' In My Lane
Three-Mile Island [Tune of: Wolverton Mt.]
Daddy Played First Base [Tune of: Daddy Sang Base]
Drivin' My Wife Away [Tune of: Drivin' My Life Away]

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Kaleea
Date: 07 Feb 02 - 02:53 AM

Guest, My sense of humor was, no doubt, also affected by the great duo, Homer & Jethro. In fact, I love to use traditional tunes & write comical lyrics which have provided many a laugh at performances, especially for the older folks. The song parody is one of my fav genres, and homer & Jethro were the greatest! Humble acknowledgements to Spike the Great.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Arkie
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 11:39 AM

Both Homer and Jethro were also exceptional musicians. A fact that is often missed due their reputation for comedy. It was mentioned earlier that Jethro was noted for his ability on the mandolin. After the death of Homer he put together a highly regarded band which, I think, produced several recordings. He also performed with brother-in-law Chet Atkins on occasion.

Subject: Lyr Add: DON'T LET THE STARS GET IN YOUR EYEBALLS
From: GUEST,Jenny the T, again
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 10:48 AM

And here's another hilarious one that comes back to me:

DON'T LET THE STARS GET IN YOUR EYEBALLS

Don't let the stars get in your eyes
If you've got water on the brain
Don't light the flame, or you'll be to blame
The spark of love will take your breath
The water starts to streamin'
Your ears will start to steamin'
And you'll percolate yourself to death

Too many nights
Too many stars
Too many knots upon my head (two, three)
Love was in bloom, then she lowered the boom
And now I wish that I was dead
She's got me educated
My eyes are granulated
'Cause she hit me with the sugar bowl

Her teeth were like the stars above
Because they come out ever' night
Her hair so fair, she laid it on a chair
Because I seen it layin' there
I cocked an eye at her
She cocked an eye at me
And we just set there cockeyed as could be

Don't let the stars get in
Your eyeball sockets

---

Also in this thread (click).

Subject: Lyr Add: YALLER ROSE OF TEXAS (Homer & Jethro)
From: GUEST,Jenny the T
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 10:40 AM

Homer and Jethro--boy, those guys are probably as responsible as anyone for my sense of humor! I remember, as a little one, laughing so hard at that record that the milk came out my nose. Strangely, I wasn't drinking milk at the time...

(The 'that record' reference reminds me of a bit from their stage patter: (Homer) "Did anybody here buy that record?" [Nothing from the audience] (Jethro) "We only sold one, and we're trying to find out who bought it.")

I always loved their parody of The Yellow Rose of Texas:

YALLER ROSE OF TEXAS, YOU ALL

(Off, I believe, their "Live at the Country Club" album)

Oh, the yaller rose of Texas, the cutest on this earth.
Her right eye looks at Dallas, her left one at Fort Worth.
Her ponytail's a dandy. That hairdo is a prize,
But it comes in handy when she's a-switchin' flies.

CHORUS 1: Her skin is red 'n' fuzzy. It feels just like a peach.
I looked her over from head to toe and she had one of each.
Her face has fallen arches. It hangs just like a sack.
She'd like to have it lifted, but she doesn't have the jack.

Oh, the yaller rose of Texas, she looks just like a weed.
That one big upper tooth of hers looks like a punkin seed,
And when she opens up her mouth, it looks just like a rake.
Her lips are just like petals—I mean, pedals on a brake.

CHORUS 2: I was a-workin' in the garden when I diskivvered her.
I reached for an old tomater and, darlin', there you were.
You can take your nasty-sturtiums and take your violets blue,
And while you're at it take the yaller rose of Texas, too.

See the original YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS posted in another thread. –JoeClone, 13-May-2008.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Gene
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 03:01 AM

See Bio of Homer & Jethro at:

http://userpages.aug.com/albink/hjbio.htm

According to above reference, Homer died of a Heart Attack in 1971 and Jethro died of cancer in n 1989.

You may be thinking of Stringbean - who was murdered during a break-in/robbery... His wife was murdered also...

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Genie
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 12:03 AM

Record Lady website

BTW, I understand that one of the guys, Jethro, I think, was murdered by an intruder who accidentally broke into the wrong house, or something like that. Anyone have the story?

Other H&J parodies I remember:
•Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, I spent a whole month in only one day.
I looked around me for Rosa's Cantina. I think Hernando had hid it away. ...

•I'm walkin' behind y'all on yer weddin' day.
I cain't walk beside yew, yer feet's in the way.
•South of the border, by the Rio Grande, Mexican Joe was a sleepin' in the sand. ...
...Joe kicked the bucket about a week ago.
They rubbed his chest with alcohol, tryin' to cure his cough.
Joe went and broke his neck tryin' to kick it off."
•Oh, my frail wildwood flower was skinny and tall. 'Cept for her adam's apple, she'd have no shape at all. ... [these lyrics are somewhere in the forum under "wildwood flower]


Was it Homer and Jethro who did the comic reply to "Goodnight, Irene," ca. 1951?
"Please say goodnight to the guy, Irene, and let me get some sleep ...

We've been havin' thunder showers and his clothes are soaking wet.
He's been hangin' 'round for hours and you haven't answered yet.
"Please say goodnight to the guy, Irene, and let me get some sleep ...

Genie

Subject: Lyr Add: PLEASE HELP ME I'M CRAWLIN' (Homer & Jeth
From: GUEST,Gene
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 01:19 PM

PLEASE HELP ME I'M CRAWLIN'
(Parody of PLEASE HELP ME I'M FALLIN')
Homer & Jethro

Please help me; I'm crawlin'. She's done it again.
Slammed the door on my fingers when I tried to get in.
She hauled off and kicked out the last tooth I had.
I wish she would quit it before I get mad.

[PIANO INSTRUMENTAL BREAK]
SPOKEN:
HOMER: He ain't no Van Cliburn, is he?
JETHRO: He sounds more like Williams.
HOMER: Roger?
JETHRO: No, Ted.

Go down to the river where the water is nice.
Stick yore head under three times and pull it out twice.
First you wanted to leave me, then you wanted to stay.
Oh, how can I miss you when you won't go away?

Please help me; I'm fallin' fer somebody new.
Anything I wind up with will be better than you.
Go have your face lifted. It needs it, no doubt.
Go to Peter Pan's Beauty Shop before your pan peters out.

See the original PLEASE HELP ME I'M FALLING posted in another thread. –JoeClone, 13-May-2008.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 08:08 AM

I have a couple of Homer & Jethro Albums that I got from my Dad when he moved back to Ireland. I remember sitting with him listening to them as a child and laughing out loud. I'll have to dig them out again, I always thought they were really funny.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: kendall
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 08:08 AM

Kaleea, just how bad would you like to hear that album again?

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Hrothgar
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:23 AM

Does anybody know the parody they did of "Please Help Me, I'm Falling" which went something like:

Please help me, I'm crawling
She's done it again
Slammed the door on my fingers
When I tried to get in.

Hope those line breaks are right.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Kaleea
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 12:35 AM

Elvis once said he had finally arrived when Homer & Jethro did a parody of his song: Heartbreak Motel. Homer & Jethro were ahead of their time (as was Spike) in that they could say suggestive things in song that the censors of the 50's-60's wouldn't allow the "kids" to listen to. My absolute fav albumn was "Homer & Jethro Live at the Country Club"--oh how I'd love to hear that one again. It had a couple of the above on it. Being a teen in the late 60's 8 appreciated a song "Since Yew've Gone" with a part about the dress made of newspaper--something about "she burned her front page, sports section & all, now she's gone." And then there's "Don't let the stars get in yer eyes if yew've got water on the brain" & the ever popular one they began by saying it was called "He didn't like her apartment so she knocked him flat."

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: JedMarum
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 12:22 AM

Iloved their TV a for Kellogs Corn Flakes. I sing a medley of GET ALONG HOME CINDY with the CRAWDAD SONG - but I always take the time to remember H&J's commercial for Kellogs;

You get a bowl and I'll get spoon, honey ...

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 12:07 AM

Last year I started a thread called Spike Jones/Homer & Jethro Songs and posted "Pal-Yat-Chee" there. (It's a parody of the opera "I Pagliacci") I was a bit disappointed that no one else posted any lyrics in it. I wish I had known about this thread!

These songs are in DT:
Daddy Played First Base (a parody of "Daddy Sang Bass")
How Much Is That Hound Dog in the Window? (parody of "How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?")
Li'l Ole Kiss Of Fire (The DT says it's a parody, but I don't know what of.)
I'm Movin' On No. 2 (parody of Hank Snow's hit)
So Long (It's Been Good to Know Yuh!) (a parody of Woody Guthrie's song)
The Battle Of Camp Kookamonga (parody of "The Battle of New Orleans")
The Billboard Song (3)
Winchester Cathedral (Parody)

The following songs are posted in threads:
Don't Jump Off the Roof, Dad
Flower of the Wildwood (parody of "Wildwood Flower.")
I Won't Go Hunting with You Jake
Mama Don't Whip Little Buford
Pore Ol' Koo-Liger (parody of "Kaw-liga")
Sink The Bismarck-No. 2 - parody of Johnny Horton's song.
Tennessee Waltz.

There may be more, but that's all the searching I have time for right now.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE BATTLE OF KOOKAMONGA (Homer & Jethro)
From:
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:36 PM

Gene, if you're still around....

THE BATTLE OF KOOKAMONGA
(Homer and Jethro)

In nineteen and fifty-nine we took a little hike
With our Scoutmaster down to Lake Aneekanike
We took a little pizza and we took some sauerkraut
And we marched along together till we heard the Girl Scouts

Oh, we're the boys from Camp Kookamonga
Our mothers sent us here for to study Nature's ways
We learn to make sparks by rubbing sticks together
But if we catch the girls then we'll set the woods ablaze
(And I was made 'cause me mother sent me up here - ha ha ha)

Well, we crept up to the water and we seed the girls a-swimmin'
There must have been a hunnerd of them pretty young women
They looked so fine even birds forgot to sing
We laid down in the poison oak and didn't say a thing

Oh, we're the boys from Camp Kookamonga
Our mothers sent us here for to study Nature's ways
We learn to make sparks by rubbing sticks together
But if we catch the girls then we'll set the woods ablaze
(Hey, will one of you fellers scratch my back?)

Well, our counselor said we could take 'em by surprise
If we didn't say a word till we looked 'em in the eyes
We kept real still, and we had our eyes a-glued
We saw how they were dressed - they were swimming in the...

Well, now, we're the boys from Camp Kookamonga
Our mothers sent us here for to study Nature's ways
We learn to make sparks by rubbing sticks together
But if we catch the girls then we'll set the woods ablaze

Well, they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go
They ran so fast even we couldn't catch 'em
From Lake Aneekanike all the way to Buffalo
(Hey, fellers, wait for me!)

Well, we ran right after them till everyone was pooped
So we rested for a minute and our forces we regrouped
Then we saw the girls behind some evergreens
Captured by a company of United States Marines

Oh, we're the boys from Camp Kookamonga
Our mothers sent us here for to study Nature's ways
We learn to make sparks by rubbing sticks together
But if we catch the girls then we'll set the woods ablaze
(Ah, them big guys get everything!)

Well, they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go
They ran so fast even we couldn't catch 'em
From Lake Aneekanike all the way to Buffalo

(A rooty toot toot, a rooty toot toot
Oh, we are the boys from the Boy Scout troop
We don't smoke, and we don't chew
And we don't go with the girls that do!)

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:03 PM

Many country love songs were sad "drown your tears in wine" laments. "Laugh about her and drink corn liquor" seemed to be Homer and Jethro's satirical viewpoint. The girls in their songs were always beasts. In their best parodies sweethearts were just sweathogs. "Let Me Go, Lover" becomes "Let Me Go, Blubber": "You're too fat in the first place, you know it's true. You're too fat in the second place, too." Hank Williams' "Cold Cold Heart" curdles with cheesy venom: "When tears come down like fallin' rain, they'll splatter on your varicose veins. But sleep won't come, you'll toss and roll-- till your eyes look like two gopher holes." "The Girl from Ipanema" isn't worth looking at either: "When she walks and you see her from the back it looks like two pigs fightin' in a tater sack, and when she passes, each guy she passes goes "Blaaah!"

I found this on a Google search.

Ebbie

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Billy
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:31 PM

The Granny songs I heard follow the "Granny's in the cellar ...out her nose" but goes into the "Gimme that home cookin', that home cookin'! And she whisles while the (snort!) runs down her nose. Another good and brief song to the tune of "My Bonnie" is "My Granny went down to the cellar, to see where the gas-leak could be. She lit up a match to see better. Oh, bring back my Grannie to me. Bring back, Bring back, Oh, bring back my granny to me, to me,... etc"

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jeep man
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:06 PM

Looks good, Ebbie.Maybe someone has more. Jeep

Subject: Lyr Add: POOR OL' KOO-LIGER (Homer & Jethro)
From: kendall
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:04 PM

Steve L. I'll try to remember that, but, it's been a long, long time.

POOR OL' KOO-LIGER (Homer & Jethro)

Kawliga was a wooden Indian, didn't know what to do,
He fell in love with a Indian maid and she was wooden too
Kawliga-a-a-a-a too stubborn to ever show a sign
Because his heart was made of knotty pine,

Poor old Kawliga, he never got a kiss
Poor old Kawliga he don’t know what he's missed
Is it any wonder that his face is red
Kawliga had termites in his head.

Kawliga never milked the cows, he didn't have the pull
He'd put the bucket under them and pump the bucket full
Kawliga-a-a-a-a when the cows would hear him they would wail
Here comes old icy fingers with his pail.

Poor old Kawliga he finally got a wife
She made him shave his whiskers off with his hunting knife
Poor old Kawliga, he ain't around today
He shaved too close and whittled his self away.

There is something about, he sprayed his throat to help his voice each day, but all it did was keep the flies away... That's all I can remember, it's been 50 years, and I never did learn it.

See the original KAW-LIGA posted in another thread. –JoeClone, 13-May-2008.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 09:06 PM

Jeep man, that comes from 'Changing Partners'. I was just sitting here trying to remember it. Some phrases I remember:

We were waltzing together to the music so divine
She was stepping all over these feet that are all mine

Then she slipped and she fell down, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah
And it bruised her somewhat and it hurt her otherwise.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 08:25 PM

I loved their version of Hank Williams' Kaliga. Does anyone have the lyrics to that one?

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: RangerSteve
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 07:56 PM

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: kendall
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 07:33 PM

The record lady has a bunch of this old stuff www.recordlady.webgcs.com/main.htm

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jeep man
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 04:07 PM

This is a really good thread. Does anyone remember a H&J song, "She bruised her somewhat and hurt her otherwise, and I'm glad it didn't hurt her elsewhere" Jeep

Subject: Lyr Add: GRANNY'S IN THE CELLAR
From: Speed
Date: 07 Oct 97 - 02:43 AM

Hey, guys, if you want the complete lyrics to "Granny's in the Cellar,” you need only ask a Girl Scout!

Granny's in the cellar,
Lordy, can't you smell 'er
Cookin' biscuits on that darn ole greasy stove?
In her eye there is some matter,
That keeps fallin' in the batter,
And she whistles while the (wipe your nose on your sleeve and SNARF LOUDLY) runs down her nose!

CHORUS:
Down her nose, down her nose,
And she whistles while the WIPE/SNARF runs down her nose!

Oh, Granny's in the cellar,
Lordy can't you smell 'er
Steamin' crabs on that darn ole greasy stove?
On her elbow are some scabs
That keep fallin' in the crabs,
And she whistles while the WIPE/SNARF runs down her nose!

Chorus

Oh, Granny's in the cellar,
Lordy can't you smell 'er,
Cookin’ rice on that darn ole greasy stove. .
On her head there is some lice,
That keep jumpin' in the rice,
And she whistles while the WIPE/SNARF runs down her nose!

Chorus

Oh, Granny's in the cellar,
Lordy can't you smell 'er
Cookin’ cobbler on that darn ole greasy stove?
Well, her glass eye is a wobbler
That keeps fallin' in the cobbler,
And she whistles while the WIPE/SNARF runs down her nose.

Chorus

Oh, Granny's in the laundry,
And she's in a quand'ry,
'Cause she put some starch in with her underwear.
And it's gonna be disaster,
When it dries as hard as plaster,
But she's tough as nails and she just doesn't care!

Underwear, underwear.
She put some starch in with her underwear.
And it's gonna be disaster,
When it dries as hard as plaster,
But she's tough as nails and she just doesn't care

(The parents of my Troop have asked us NOT to sing this one!)

Speed

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 4-Feb-02.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GaryD
Date: 01 Oct 97 - 06:42 PM

Wow, I heard that not to long ago..wish I could remember the melody..that was a great tune..Speaking of tunes, anyone know how I can get this mac to read the sound files? I am a relative novice at this thing, but I know it can be done, because I have sometimes (rarely) gotten some sound out of it when I clicked on some addresses, but it is broken up.