Lyr Add: parodies sung by Homer and Jethro

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: parodies sung by Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,John's daughter
Date: 03 Feb 17 - 08:54 AM

My dad, John went around the house singing Homer and Jethro's songs when we were little kids. My siblings and I are trying to remember the song H & J sang that had something about a fat lady riding a bicycle down the shady lane. Can anyone help us out? Thanks so much!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: parodies sung by Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Luv_my_music
Date: 05 Nov 15 - 04:46 PM

Please Help Me I'm Fallin' (Homer & Jethro version)


Please help me I'm crawlin'
She's done it again
Slammed the door on my fingers
When I tried to get in
She hauled off and kicked out
The last tooth I had
I wish she would quit it
Before I get mad

Instrumental Break

Go down to the river
Where the water is nice
Stick your head under three times
And pull it out twice
First you wanted to leave me
Then you wanted to stay
How the hell can i miss you
When you won't go away

Please help me I'm fallin'
Fer somebody new
Anything I wind up with
Will be better than you
Go have your face lifted
It needs it no doubt
Go to Peter Pan's beauty shop
Before your pan peters out

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: parodies sung by Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Luv_my_music
Date: 05 Nov 15 - 04:43 PM

Please Help Me I'm Fallin' (Homer & Jethro version)


Please help me I'm crawlin'
She's done it again
Slammed the door on my fingers
When I tried to get in
She hauled off and kicked out
The last tooth I had
I wish she would quit it
Before I get mad

Instrumental Break

Go down to the river
Where the water is nice
Stick your head under three times
And pull it out twice
First you wanted to leave me
Then you wanted to stay
How the hell can i miss you
When you won't go away

Please help me I'm fallin'
Fer somebody new
Anything I wind up with
Will be better than you
Go have your face lifted
It needs it no doubt
Go to Peter Pan's beauty shop
Before your pan peters out

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: parodies sung by Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 11 Mar 14 - 02:51 AM

It is a polka....I have the music for it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: parodies sung by Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Jam Bow Liar
Date: 13 Apr 12 - 03:42 PM

Jam Bow Liar
Good bye ma'am
We gotta scram
Down the highway
Stick out your thumb, you son of a gun
Going my way?
I got a ride
With a guy
In a wagon in a sack, in the back
He was draggin'

Jam Bow Liar
Shoo Fly Pie
Banana puddin'
For tonight I'm gonna see
Old Sally Goodwin
Danced all night
Oh my feet
Wore a blister
At the side of her nose
Where I kissed her

On the couch
Side by side
We were sittin'
And just about the time
We started petting
Something hit
throwed a brick
Through the winder
Hit her side
Hurt her pride
Broke my finger

Jam Bow Liar
Horsemeat Pie
On a pushcart
Flipped my lid
Always did
Loved that ?????????
It was rough
The meat was tough
Chewed it slow
Almost choked
When some bloke
Hollered "Whoa!"

Jambalaya pizza pie
And some beans
Spotted ham
And a can of chocolate coated sardines
When we sing
It sounds just like
A cat and dog fight
But we don't sing for money
Just for spite

Subject: Lyr Add: THE HOOTIN' HOLLER HILTON BAR AND GRILL
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 09:30 AM

If this is a parody, I don't know what the original is. I transcribed this from a file found at WFMU. (Click for an MP3.)


THE HOOTIN' HOLLER HILTON BAR AND GRILL
As sung by Homer & Jethro

There is gonna be a meetin' of our fan club in the phone booth
Of the Hootin' Holler Hilton Bar and Grill.
We are gonna cuss an' discuss ever'thing that is a-buggin' us:
The war, the bomb, the hippies, an' the pill.

Our financial secretary won't have any cause to worry.
RCA will pay the food an' liquor bill
When we have the annual meetin' of our fan club in the phone booth
Of the Hootin' Holler Hilton Bar and Grill.

And it's gonna be informal; you can wear just what you choose.
Girls can wear a topless if they're wearin' shoes.

We will give away door prizes; you may win yourself a door.
I wouldn't miss it for a thirty-dollar bill.
We will see you at the meetin' of our fan club in the phone booth
Of the Hootin' Holler Hilton Bar and Grill.

Oh, we plumb forgot to mention that the CMA convention
Won't be gettin' under way this year until
We are finished with the meetin' of our fan club in the phone booth
Of the Hootin' Holler Hilton Bar and Grill.

Subject: Lyr Add: MIDDLE AGED TEENAGER (Homer and Jethro)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Oct 11 - 06:40 PM

If this is a parody, I don't know what the original is. The tune sounds like typical early rock 'n' roll.

My transcription from a file found at WFMU. (Click for an MP3.)


MIDDLE AGED TEENAGER
As sung by Homer & Jethro.

Well, on my way to the party I decided to go.
I picked up my date with a "Go, man, go!"
It turned out the party was a high-school dance
And I showed up in my zoot-suit pants
I was a middle aged – teenager,
A middle aged – rug cutter.
I'm gonna be hip, if my hip-a don't slip-a.

Well, the band warmed up. Soon the place was alive.
Well, I grabbed my partner and begin to jive.
All of a sudden, much to my surprise,
I started achin' all over and I realized
I was a middle aged – teenager,
A middle aged – jitter-bagger.
I bunny-hopped until my arches flopped.

Well, the dance went on till a quarter o' one.
I didn't feel so good, but I sure had fun.
I intended to have myself a ball for free,
Even though my back was a-killin' me.
I was a middle aged – teenager,
A middle aged – car stripper.
Well, I'm in shock because my roll won't rock.

I was a middle aged – teenager,
A middle aged – cotton picker.
Well, my back is bent. Pass that liniment.

Subject: Lyr Add: COME HERE MY LITTLE WIFEY (Homer & Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Oct 11 - 04:58 PM

This song can be heard at The Internet Archive (Click for an mp3.) Obviously, this is a version of OUR GOODMAN (Child No. 274) and H&J have not altered it much, beyond putting it in their vernacular.


COME HERE, MY LITTLE WIFEY
As sung by Homer & Jethro (and a female voice unknown to me)

The first night when I come home as drunk as I could be,
I found a horse in the stable where my horse orta be. [ought to]
Come here, my little wifey. Explain this thing to me.
How come a horse in the stable where my horse orta be?
"Oh, you fool, you crazy fool! Can't you never see?
It's nothin' but a milk cow my granny sent to me."
Well, I've looked this wide world over a thousand times or more,
But a saddle on a milk cow's back I never seen before.

The second night when I come home as drunk as I could be,
I found a coat on the coat-rack where my coat orta be.
Come here, my little wifey. Explain this thing to me.
Home come a coat a-hangin' on the rack where my coat orta be?
"Oh, you fool, you crazy fool! Can't you never see?
It's nothin' but a bed quilt my granny sent to me."
Well, I've looked this wide world over a thousand times or more,
But pockets on a bed quilt I never seen before.

The third night when I come home as drunk as I could be,
I found a head on the piller where my head orta be. [pillow]
Come here, my little wifey. Explain this thing to me.
How come a head on the piller where my head orta be?
"Oh, you fool, you crazy fool! Can't you never see?
It's nothin' but a cabbage head my granny sent to me."
Well, I've looked this wide world over a thousand times or more,
But a mustache on a cabbage head I've never seen before.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: parodies sung by Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Oct 11 - 01:18 AM

More H&J songs that I've posted recently in other threads:

OH, LONESOME ME

AT THE FLOP– parody of AT THE HOP

LOVE AND MARRIAGE

TENNESSEE, TENNESSEE – parody of A THOUSAND MILES FROM HERE

ARE YOU KISSING MORE NOW (BUT ENJOYING IT LESS)?

Subject: Lyr Add: SHE LOVES YOU (Homer & Jethro)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 10:29 PM

SHE LOVES YOU
As sung by Homer & Jethro

She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you think you've lost your love? Well, I think that's mighty fie-yine.
And now that she is gone, you can have this girl of my-yine
Because she loves you, and I just don't know what fer.
Yes, she loves you, and you know you're stuck with her.

She said her heart was mine, and I thought that it was true-oo,
But all the rest of her kep' a-goin' out with you-oo,
Because she loves you, and a dozen other guys,
'Cause you told her that it pays to advertise.

She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah.
With a head like that, you know you should be say-ad.

Well, I hear'd you fixed her nose, but it's still the same old si-yize.
All you done was move it right betwixt her eye-yeyes.
She really loves you, and I shore ain't a-gonna grieve.
Yes, she loves you, and I thought she'd never leave.

She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah.
With a love like that, you know you should be say-ad.
And with a love like that, you know you should be say-ad.
And with a tune like this, I'm glad that we are through.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Subject: Lyr Add: OH, TOP FORTY (parody of OH SUSANNA)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 09:44 PM

OH, TOP FORTY
(Tune: Oh, Susanna)
As sung by Homer & Jethro

I come from Nashville, Tennessee, a guitar on my knee.
I just made a record and a millionaire I'll be.

Oh, top forty, you better make room for me.
I just made a record and a millionaire I'll be.

Oh, I sing like Elvis Presley; I'm bound to be a hit,
But I kind o' look like Frankenstein, an' that may hurt a bit.

They're pressin' all the records out o' buckwheat flour, I've learned.
That's in case o' things go wrong, we can eat all the returns.

Oh, top forty, you better make room for me.
I just made a record; I'm in showbiz, yessirree.

A guy just bought a thousand; I was proud to....(?)
He's usin' them for targets in his shootin' galleree.

But it's goin' great in Fairbanks, in Alaska where it snows.
We've only sold five records there, but I'm big with the Eskimos.

Oh, they sell my records in the supermarkets, next to the canned beef stew.
Mama can buy my records there, and she'll get some Green Stamps, too.

I saw my record in a jukebox, but somethin's wrong, no doubt.
I put in a dime to hear it, an' a ham sandwich came out.

Oh, top forty, you better make room for me.
I just made a record and a millionaire I'll be.

Subject: Lyr Add: FRIEDA ON THE FREEWAY (Homer and Jethro)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 12:25 PM

If this is a parody, I don't recognize the original. Any ideas? I made this transcription from a recording on Spotify:


FRIEDA ON THE FREEWAY
As sung by Homer & Jethro on "The Very Best Of" (2010)

SPOKEN: Frieda 'n' me was to marry, but that's all in the past.
I thought she was follerin' close behind, but I guess I driv' too fast.

CHORUS: I lost Frieda on the freeway; now she'll never be my bride.
I saw her twice today, goin' the other way, had a look of panic in her eye.

She drove all the way from Texas, and I met her at the edge of town.
I was gonna lead her here to our new home that I'd gotten for nothin' down.

We were drivin' along so happy; then it happened right before my eyes.
She pulled up beside to throw me a kiss when the lane she was in turned right. CHORUS

If I live to be a hundred, I'll remember her look of surprise.
As she disappeared quickly down the ramp and slowly she waved goodbye.

I ride all day on the freeway, and I'll wave when Frieda goes by
There's never been such a driving bug since the very beginning of time. CHORUS

Subject: Lyr Add: I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND (Homer & Jethro)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 11:30 AM

I heard this one on Spotify, too:


I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND
As sung by Homer & Jethro on "The Very Best Of" (2010)

Oh, yeah, I told 'er some'n' I thought she'd understand,
But when I said that some'n', I had to hold her hands.
I had to hold her hands. I had to hold her hands.

When I tried to kiss her, she bit me on the chin.
As I held her hands, she kicked me on the shin.
She kicked me the shi-i-in. She kicked me on the shin.

It only hurts internally. –Whur? –Inside.
Them surplus GI shoes she wears skint my hide,
Skint my hide, skint my hide. Whoo!

When I hold her hands, I never have to worry.
I don't like to hold them, but it is necessary.
But it is necessar-ery, but it is necessary.

I touched her arms and they felt hairy. –Whur? –Outside.
I cain't help feelin' that I touched a cow's hide,
A cow's hide. –A cow's hide?
–Yeah, hide, hide, a cow's outside.
–Well, bring the old heifer* in, before she gets milked!

That sump'n electrifies me, I hope you understand.
If you electrocute me, I want to hold your hands.
I want to hold your ha-a-ands. I want to hold your hands.
I want to hold your ha-a-a-a-a-a-ands.


* I am amazed that H&J made this mistake. It's the kind of mistake you'd expect a city slicker to make, and therefore it almost ruins their credibility as country folks. But heck, they'd been professional musicians most of their lives, and probably never been around cows very much, so I forgive them.

You can't milk a heifer. A heifer is a cow that hasn't yet had a calf, and therefore can't give milk. In fact, a heifer isn't usually called a cow, although it's definitely a female of the cattle species—it's just called a heifer.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: parodies sung by Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Oct 11 - 01:07 PM

Today I posted lyrics to the following Homer & Jethro parodies in other threads:

SETTIN' THE WOODS ON FIRE

SIXTEEN TONS

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Bernie
Date: 04 Oct 11 - 07:43 PM

Love them.....high point of our youth;several of us
would memorize some and serenade each other in the
schoolyard,laughing like idiots [ maybe we were/are ]
...their two "straight" lp's of jazz instrumentals,
"playin'it straight" and "It aint necesarily square"
are now available together on one CD,if you scan the
net for better music sources [ Amazon,Elderly,etc ]..
Best show I ever saw was at the Mariposa festival back
in the early eighties[I think]....Jethro and Steve Goodman
did a set,when they finished they found they had to fill
another half hour...they called up the great Canadian folk
player "Valdy",put a Fender electric bass on his neck,and
they just went nuts riffing off each other...the ovation went
on forever,it seemed....

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,pjd516
Date: 04 Oct 11 - 04:05 PM

Re: Waterloo-------about the verse for JImmy Payne:
"He walks his beat unafraid
as long as it's downgrade,

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Philmo
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 02:11 PM

Hi, everyone. I'm trying to identify a song that Homer and Jethro played on the LP "Homer And Jethro At The Country Club". It was an instrumental solo played on the mandolin in the middle of Sixteen Tons. I didn't even know it was part of a different song until I heard that other song at a doctors office the other day. Do any of you know what song it might be?

Thanks!
Philmo

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,musicman
Date: 07 Dec 10 - 07:26 AM

Here's your lyrics to Homer and Jethro "You Belong to Me"

Does anyone have lyrics for Homer and Jethro "Love and Marriage"?



You Belong to Me

Send me paw paws in a paper poke
Send me money honey when I'm broke
Make your will out to me when you croak
You belong to me

Eat some garlic and I'll love you still
Cause I love you and I always will
That's why they discovered chlorophyll
You belong to me

My poor heart would burn without you
Maybe you'll get heartburn too (it's true)

Cruise the ocean in our motor boat
Climb the mountains like two billy goats
Just be careful where you sew your oats
You belong to me

She rolled those big blue eyes at me
I picked em up and rolled em back

I hate the day I saw the pyramids
That's the day my heart went on the skids
Now I've got a wife and 13 kids
They belong to me

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Jim Stripling
Date: 22 Jul 10 - 10:16 AM

According to a 1953 Time Magazine article on H&J, the line is, "Bring me pawpaws in a paper poke". Here's a link to the article:
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,822838,00.html

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Jeff
Date: 17 Jul 10 - 08:52 PM

I'm looking for a Homer and Jethro song that has the following line in it:

"She rolled her big, blue eyeballs at me
I picked 'em up and rolled 'em back."

Any ideas?
Thanks

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,thos49
Date: 15 Apr 10 - 12:27 AM

I recall a H&J parody of Mr. Sandman. The only line I recall is "Mr. Sandman, take back your dream. The biggest nightmare that I've ever seen. Crackers in bed, she eats like a rabbit. And Mr. Sandman, it's a crumby habit." Does anyone have any more of these lyrics?

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Morris Meyer
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 02:32 AM

Does anyone have the words to H&J's song Will You Love Me When from their album Songs Mother Never Sang?

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Feb 10 - 05:14 PM

I posted the original song ONCE IN LOVE WITH AMY by Frank Loesser, followed by Homer & Jethro's parody, in this thread: Lyr Add: Once in Love with Amy (Frank Loesser).

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 31 Jan 10 - 08:51 AM

I posted lyrics to Homer & Jethro's parody of Frank Loesser's HAVE I STAYED AWAY TOO LONG in this thread: Lyr Req: Have I Stayed Away Too Long? (F Loesser).

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 31 Jan 10 - 08:24 AM

I posted Homer & Jethro's parody of Frank Loesser's A BUSHEL AND A PECK in this thread: Lyr Req: A Bushel and a Peck (Frank Loesser).

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 26 Jan 10 - 01:23 PM

I posted Buddy Starcher's HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF and Homer & Jethro's parody GREAT MEN REPEAT THEMSELVES in the thread Lyr Req: Coincidence? / History Repeats Itself.

Subject: Lyr Add: BIG BAD JOHN (parody by Homer & Jethro)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 25 Jan 10 - 01:03 PM

The original of this is in the DT: BIG BAD JOHN by Jimmy Dean.

The following parody is from a recording found here. The recording seems to be from a live show of some kind. I don't know whether the song was ever released on an album.


BIG BAD JOHN (parody)
As sung by Homer & Jethro

He arrived ever' morning at the beauty shop
In a pink sports car with a chartreuse top,
Kind o' narrow at the shoulder an' wide at the seat,
An' ever'body knew they was somethin' mighty sweet
About John.

Somebody said he came from out in L. A.
An' he had a little trouble an' he had to run away
An' a smashing blow from his mighty purse
Got a California feller a ride in a hearse,
Big John.

Then came a day in forty-four
When John says, "Boys, I'm off to war.
I'll join the WACS and I'll serve Aunt Sam."
But John couldn't pass the physical exam,
Big John.

Accordin' to the girls at the beauty salon,
They's one good thing about big bad John:
Whether it's Bruce or Pat or Mike,
He never met a man that he didn't like.

Big bad John.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Steve Harper
Date: 15 Jan 10 - 07:20 PM

You may be interested in my internet radio show at WePlayItForLaughs.com. If there is a parody of "Honey", called "Sugar" (by H&J or anyone else) and I find it, it will be on the show this week. Check out the history of the show at the website and you'll see some the influence the boys had.

Subject: Lyr Add: A SCREWBALL'S LOVE SONG (Homer & Jethro)
From: KF Raizor
Date: 11 Jan 10 - 05:38 PM

Since there is a different second chorus in the recorded version of "A Screwball's Love Song" (as opposed to the live version on You Tube from the Old Radio Barn Dance), here are the lyrics:

Achin' hearts, breakin' hearts, lonely sad forsaken hearts
Have made all love songs sound the same to me
But such corny lines my dear won't be whispered in your ear
When I croon my brand new love song tenderly

Oh my lungs are plumb collapsing over you
And I'm gettin' me a stomach ulcer too
If you ever treat me mean it is sure to bust my spleen
And my blood veins would be miserable too
When you smile it fills my tonsils full of joy
Please don't use my adenoids for just a toy
I'm in love from A to izzard so don't trifle with my gizzard
'Cause I've gone and lost my liver dear to you

(instrumental break)

I hear silent love calls when I gaze into your eyeballs
My eardrums beat for you alone it's true
I love the way you giggle and can make your little ears wiggle
And no one else pops bubble gum like you (popping sound)

I've got chronic indigestion over you
'Cause I'm wonderin' if your fickle liver's true
If you ever go away I'll have hiccups every day
And my lonely sad appendix will be blue
When you clobber me with your two lips of fire
I can feel my toenails curling with desire
All the geese on my goose pimples honk and quack about your dimples
Baby doll with all my gizzard I love you

Written by Boudleaux Bryant
Released as a single, December 1952

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: KF Raizor
Date: 10 Jan 10 - 09:51 PM

It should be noted that the song that's on YouTube mis-identified as "I'm Missing My Wife's Cooking" is actually titled "A Screwball's Love Song." It was written by Boudleaux Bryant.

Eddie Hill was a country music disc jockey and songwriter (song STEALER according to Charlie Louvin: he claimed 1/3 credit for the first Louvin Brothers song recorded, "Alabama," although he had nothing to do with it other than promoting it to a publisher. Ira and Charlie went along with it because "we thought that's how things were done back then."). He was elected to the Disc Jockey Hall of Fame its inaugural year (1975) (note: this is NOT the Country Music Hall of Fame, the one that H&J are in, Eddie Hill is not in "the big hall").

I'm writing a book on Homer & Jethro and one of the appendices will be a list of people mentioned in their songs, since a number of them (e.g., Van Cliburn or Roger Williams [both referenced in "Please Help Me I'm Falling"]) have long faded from public knowledge. I've found a number of inside jokes in their songs as well, and they will be listed. My favorite is the "for our 19th anniversary" remark in "Red Roses for a Blue Lady" (which was recorded in 1965, the year of Jethro's 19th wedding anniversary!).

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: beeliner
Date: 08 Jan 10 - 11:42 AM

Some of H&J's parodies had B-sides that were instrumental medleys or non-satirical country music standards. Wonderful!

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Arkie
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 05:45 PM

Eddie Hill was a country entertainer but I think he may have been best known as a Nashville D.J. and radio personality. He may have had a country TV show in the early days of television. My memory pulls up a vague picture of him which may have been from blurbs in country magazines of the 1950s or early 60s. Seems like he may have been one of the first DJs elected to the Country Music Hall of Fame, but I am not sure about that.

Subject: Lyr Add: YOU EWE U - parody of YOU YOU YOU
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 01:41 PM

The original of this is YOU, YOU, YOU, written by Robert Mellín and Lotar Olias, and recorded by the Ames Brothers, RCA Victor 20-5325, 1953. Lyrics are posted here. (There are other songs with the same title.)

Homer & Jethro's parody can be heard at http://78records.cdbpdx.com/. (Follow instructions on that page to get to the "main music page.")


YOU, EWE, U
(As sung by Homer and Jethro, RCA Victor 20-5555)

I took a walk in the country, and as I wandered along,
I heard the strangest music. A sheep was singin' this song:

You, you, you,
I'm in love with you, you, you.
Your eyeballs are so blue, blue, blue,
You wooly booger you, you, you.

Then she said:
"You're nothin' but a muttonhead."
So he answered with a grin:
"Will you be my lanolin?"

He follered her over the mountains to see what he could learn,
But she disappeared in the bushes. He didn't see that U-turn.

You, you, you
Got me in a stew, stew, stew.
I could be so true, true, true
To a ewe like you, you, you.

Then he went and killed hisself because he was so blue.
He heard the radio playin' "There'll Never Be another Ewe."

So don't chase girls.
Don't be taken by their curls.
Remember this could happen to
Anyone like you — and you — and you-all.

Baa-aa-aa!

Subject: Lyr Add: HEY SCHMO - parody of HEY JOE
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 12:37 PM

The original for this one is HEY JOE, written by Boudleaux Bryant, and a hit record by Carl Smith in 1953. The lyrics are posted here.

You can hear the parody at http://78records.cdbpdx.com/ (Follow the instructions on that page to get to the "main music page.")


HEY SCHMO
As sung by Homer and Jethro, RCA Victor 20-5555

Hey, schmo!
Where'd you get this golly-whopper?
Where'd you get this gravy-sopper?
Since we met she really cooked my goose.
Hey, schmo!
When we dance and I enfold her,
Don't need you to help me hold her.
Come on, schmo, and help me turn her loose.
Now listen, schmo.
She's gotta go,
With her hair that's hangin' down her back so low.
It's a-hangin' down her back, I said,
But there ain't none a-growin' on her head.
Wish I was dead.
Hey, schmo!
Buddies we have always been,
But gang-a-rene has done set in,
So take her back and dig some other place.

Now listen, schmo:
I'm a-tellin' you
That you'd better come and get her P.D.Q.
She has got a purty figger,
But her face is just like Trigger.
That's the proof
Somebody goofed.
Hey, schmo!
I just want to get the facts.
Where'd you get this battle-axe?
I don't want her and I never will.
Give this soupy-snapper back to Eddie Hill.


[I have a couple of questions: Where'd they come up with the expression "soupy-snapper"? (Did I transcribe it correctly?) Who is/was Eddie Hill?]

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 10:52 AM

Can anybody help me with the first line of "You Belong To Me" by Homer and Jethro. I sounds like "Bring me pot balls in a paper bowl".

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 03:17 PM

I just posted Homer & Jethro's THE NITE AFTER CHRISTMAS in the thread Lyr Add: A Visit from St. Nicholas (Clement Moore)—so that the parody can be near its original, naturally!

Subject: Lyr Add: HOUN' DAWG (Homer and Jethro)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 01:25 PM

HOUN' DAWG
Homer & Jethro

You're a puny little hound dog. You ain't very stout. (2x)
Well, you look like an Airedale with the air let out.

Well, you said you was high-class, that you had a pedigree. (2x)
You ain't nothin' but a mongrel an' you got a million fleas.

Well, they said you was a bird-dog but you look like a goat. (2x)
But you couldn't be a bird-dog. You ain't never sung a note.

Now once I had a hound-dog, an' 'er name was Kim. (2x)
She ain't never had a puppy so I got rid o' him.

*
For comparison:
HOUND DOG - Big Mama Thornton's version
HOUND DOG - Elvis Presley's version

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 10:55 AM

I just posted RANDOLPH THE FLAT-NOSED REINDEER in the Christmas parodies thread.

Subject: Lyr Add: A SCREWBALL'S LOVE SONG (Homer & Je
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 10:39 PM

This seems to be an original song, not a parody. The lyrics and songwriting credit below were transcribed by me from a YouTube video made from a 45-rpm record.

I have included some patter from a different video at YouTube, taken from The Old American Barn Dance Show in 1953:


A SCREWBALL'S LOVE SONG
Written by Boudleaux Bryant
As recorded by Homer and Jethro (RCA Victor 5099)

SPOKEN (Homer): Well, thank you. Thank you a lot for your sympathy. We just know two songs an' we always sing one of 'em first, so we'd like to do the other'n right now. We're gonna do one here called "I Miss My Wife's Cookin'—Whenever I Can."

1: Achin' hearts an' breakin hearts
An' lonely sad forsaken hearts
Have made all love songs sound the same to me,
But such corny lines, my dear,
Won't be whispered in your ear
When I croon my brand-new love song tenderly:

CHORUS: Oh, my lungs are plumb collapsin' over you,
An' I'm a-gittin' me a stomach ulcer, too.
If you ever treat me mean,
It is sure to bust my spleen,
An' my blood veins would be miserable, too.
When you smile, it fills my tonsils full o' joy.
Please don't use my adenoids for just a toy.
I'm in love from A to Izzard,
So don't trifle with my gizzard,
'Cause I've gone and lost my liver, dear, to you.

SPOKEN (Homer): Ah, come in now, Jethro.

SPOKEN (Jethro): We call this second part of this song "Git Out o' the Barn, Gran'ma. You're Too Old to Be Horsin' Around."

2: I hear silent love calls
When I gaze into your eyeballs.
My eardrums beat for you alone, it's true.
I love the way you giggle,
An' can make your little ears wiggle,
And no one else pops bubble gum like you.

CHORUS 2: I've got chronic indigestion over you,
'Cause I'm wond'rin if your fickle liver's true.
If you ever go away,
I'll have hiccups ever' day,
And my lonely sad appendix will be blue.
When you clobber me with your two lips of fire,
I can feel my toenails curlin' with desire.
All the geese on my goose pimples
Honk and quack about your dimples.
Baby doll, with all my gizzard, I love you.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,jimjo
Date: 24 May 09 - 03:13 AM

ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT KNEW ABOUT THESE GUYS GLAD TO SEE THERE ARE STILL SOME "SANE" FOLK AROUND. WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO GUYS LIKE THAT HAS EVERYONE LOST THEIR SENSE OF HUMOR? I SURE HOPE NOT!



I'LL BE BACK FOR SURE.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Jim
Date: 07 Mar 09 - 07:39 PM

Anybody remember a H&J parody of Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey" called "Sugar"? I'm not sure it was H&J....after all, it was the 60s.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: skarpi
Date: 18 Dec 08 - 06:09 PM

hallo all , I am always last to find good music ,
is there some one who has the lyric of the song

" I´ve got tears in my ears when I am layin on my bed "

Homer and Jethro sang this song , I got the song in audio.

well all , this is a tresure for me to find something like this
now I have something to do over the holydays :>))

All the best Skarpi Iceland

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,glenn
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 12:00 AM

wow. i should read the most recent post before i write.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,glenn
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 11:56 PM

[this is a great site. thanks to the folks who make it happen]

good ol' youtube:

wanted

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 01:11 AM

See WANTED for the Perry Como original and the Homer & Jethro parody.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 12:21 AM

See ON A SLOW BOAT TO CHINA for the original and the parody.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 11:43 PM

I posted CRAZY MIXED UP SONG in another thread. The chorus starts: "Be kind to your web-footed friends."

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 12:53 PM

See MAMA FROM THE TRAIN (A KISS, A KISS) for the Patti Page original and the Homer & Jethro parody.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,TChappell
Date: 18 Dec 07 - 12:35 PM

Home with a sick child today and found this wonderful site, have to contribute two of my favorites from H&J Go West.

"Down in the Alley" (to the tune of "Down in the Valley")

Down in the alley,
in back of a bar,
at Honest John's car lot,
I bought my first car.

She's got eight cylinders,
and that's no bunk.
four in the motor
and four in the trunk.

Twenty miles to the gallon
I get it with her.
Of course I mean waa-ter
in the ra-dee-ay-ter.

Ninety miles in a hour
she does it with ease.
Cause I'm using whisky
instead of antifreeze.

Went through a toll booth
faster than I planned
Now they've got my quarter
and also my hand.

When we pass a junkyard
her steering wheel bends.
She wants to go in there
and be with her friends.

Down in the alley,
in back of a bar,
at Honest John's car lot...
I bought my LAST car.

And their great parody of "Get Along Little Dogies".

As I was out walking one morning for pleasure,
I spied a cab driver a whizzing along.
His flag was up and his meter was a runnin,
as he run me down he was a singing this song.

Chorus
Whoop ee ti yi yo-oo, look out little people
it's your misfortune and none of my own.
My horn won't blow and my brakes ain't a workin,
you know the hospital will be your next home.

I started to jaywalk and that's when he hit me.
Straight up in the air like a rocket I went.
And when I came down they gave me a ticket
fer leavin' the scene of the accident.

Repeat Chorus

As I was out driving my Edsel one morning,
my Collier's magazine there on the seat.
My Nixon stickers were stuck on the bumper,
I was goin the wrong way on a one way street.

Whoop ee ti yi oo-oo, I hit a police car,
They took my Edsel and towed it away.
The judge looked down as he tore up my license
and said, " Well sonny...
(spoken) This just ain't been your day!"

Whoop ee ti yi oo oo.

Grew up listening to these old record of my Mom's and they will probably be some of the last things I ever forget. (much to my wife's dismay!)

Subject: Lyr Add: THE HILLBILLY HIPPIE AND MARIJANE
From: GUEST,Gene
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 06:53 PM

Ran across some 25-30 year old cassette tapes and found this jewel.

It is not on any of the many H&J LPs/CAs I have and since it has a slight mis-speak goof in it...suspect it was from a live show...


THE HILLBILLY HIPPIE AND MARIJANE
Homer & Jethro

Way down south in New Orleans
Walkin' down Bourbon Street
Saw a country cat, he wore no hat
No shoes upon his feet

As he walked along, he's puttin' ever'body on
With a pseudo southern drawl
He'd bum a dime and then he'd whine
Merci beaucoup, you all

He was a real gone turned on hillbilly hippie
And he flew jist like a plane
He could go like a jet when he smoked cigarettes
That the hippies call marijane

Well he called for his pipe and he took a puff
He took off on a trip
Didn't need a train, didn't need a plane
He could sail without a ship

And soon he'd be in Tennessee
Hong Kong and old Baghdad
He'd take a whirl around the world
And never leave his pad

He was a real gone turned on hillbilly hippie
And he flew jist like a plane
He could go like a jet when he'd smoke a cigarette
That the hippies call marijane