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99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: Justa Picker Date: 09 Apr 01 - 03:19 PM Depends on the player, Jez. :-) |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: JeZeBeL Date: 09 Apr 01 - 03:18 PM OH NOW THAT'S HARSH!! ONE PROBLEM, THEY CAN'T HAVE THEM FULL STOP!! |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: Justa Picker Date: 09 Apr 01 - 03:15 PM They can't fake orgasms. |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: JeZeBeL Date: 09 Apr 01 - 03:13 PM You know I bet women/girls here can think of 100 reasons why a guitar is better than a man quicker than the men can think of a 100 for us. Anyone care to try.....I'll start a thread n we can have a little sexist fun in a race. The if the women win, any of the men on this thread who are coming to the yorkshire catters gathering have to buy our drinks all weekend? Men are you up to it, girls are you? I am.....hehehehehehe Evil Emma xx |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: Ebbie Date: 09 Apr 01 - 02:51 PM At the risk of being considered a traitor to my sex: "A guitar will take you through a rough patch in your life; a woman is the rough patch in your life." Truly only kidding, folks- even if it were vice versa! Ebbie |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: Murray MacLeod Date: 09 Apr 01 - 02:32 PM Alex, I for one am relieved to know that your wife is a woman Murray |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: sophocleese Date: 09 Apr 01 - 02:30 PM It can be frustrating when the action is too high, lower it a little to stop persistent buzzing. It may be necessary to wiggle the saddle a bit to compenstae for tuning difficulties. Slow, gentle, rhythmic fingerpicking produces some of the most beautiful music. |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: mousethief Date: 09 Apr 01 - 02:04 PM I have two girls and one guitar, and the girls, being teenagers, are by and large worthless. On the other hand if I had to choose between my wife (who is a woman) and my guitar, I'd definitely try to kill the person who tried to force such an inane and ridiculous choice upon the 3 of us. Alex |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: Matt_R Date: 09 Apr 01 - 02:02 PM Glad to know there's at least 2 of us, Brett. Oh yeah, and the rollerskating guitar-playing bird from "Shoe". |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: GUEST,Les B Date: 09 Apr 01 - 01:55 PM With guitars it's definitely apparent where the strings are attached ! |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: Bill D Date: 09 Apr 01 - 11:03 AM What I did was find me a woman who already HAD guitars, so I could have the best of both without having to learn a barred F |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: GUEST,Midchuck upstairs (PS) Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:58 AM On reflection, I suppose a woman would say that guitars are better than men for exactly the same reason... P. |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: GUEST,Midchuck upstairs Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:57 AM You can put your ambivalent feelings toward a guitar into practice by stroking its belly gently with one hand while you choke its neck with the other. If you do that to a woman they lock you up. Peter. |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: Naemanson Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:55 AM In reading the last post I can see a definite reason why "Guest" posted anonymously. Matt, I'm another example of how having a guitar in your hands does not necessarily lead to having a woman in your life. |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: GUEST Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:48 AM Here are some things women and Guitars have in common.
1)They are both have curves in all the right places.
2) They both inevitably lead to sad songs
3) They are both likely to lead to murder ballads.
4) They both cause you to loose sleep.
5) They both always make you late.
6)They both take years to understand, longer for some.
7)They both appreciate a gentle touch.
8)They can both be excruciating when "out of tune".
9)Neither of them is terribly fond of the banjo.
10)I would never set foot in a bar if not for one, the other, or both of them.
11)I will play with them both until I am sore and have to stop. 12) When you find the right one you hold on to it until death do you part.
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: Grab Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:06 AM 13: A guitar accepts that it's DESIGNED to have a bottom like that, and that making it smaller spoils the effect. 14: You can beat on the face of a guitar to provide rhythm accompaniment. Slapping your girlfriend's face in time to the music is not usually well-received. 15: When a guitar makes nasty noises at you, you can usually work out what you did wrong. 85 to go... :-) Graham. |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: GUEST,#1 Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:05 AM Those guitar holes are too scratchy. There's nothing like girls (or women, or even great grandmas).
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: GUEST,Matt_R Date: 09 Apr 01 - 08:26 AM FACT: Guys with guitars do NOT always get girls. CASE IN POINT: Me! |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: kendall Date: 09 Apr 01 - 08:25 AM It's possible that guitars are better than girls, but, they will never replace women. I've slept with both. Women are better. |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: Naemanson Date: 09 Apr 01 - 07:33 AM Well, I'm not going to risk comparing guitars and women. I know I'd like to have both in my life. But I also know that when my last SO walked out on me my guitar was still there to keep me company and express myself when I needed to through those long lonely nights. And that guitar is still there for me no matter what. |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: GUEST,willie-o Date: 09 Apr 01 - 07:28 AM >1. Only expensive once. >2. If they come unstrung, it only takes a few minutes to fix them. >3. Any dischord in the relationship can be fixed with tuning forks. Guess you've never owned an older Martin, (or other vintage high-maintenance piece) huh? Let me assure you , phil, it's as complicated, flawed and codependent a relationship as any you could have with another human... w-o |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: Dave the Gnome Date: 09 Apr 01 - 07:01 AM If ANYONE starts talking about plucking things I am never going to read this thread again....;-) Well, ok, just a bit, but not because I'm sexist mind - it's only academic interest.
Dave the Gnome |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: English Jon Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:09 AM Oh it's alright. She turned out to be as loopy as a bedspring. I'm sure there are plenty of nice girls out there... So any laydeez interested in a mid '20's skinhead with a hurdy gurdy and assorted melodeons? no? you surprise me. oh well. Love me, love my concertina. BG ;) English Jon |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: Joe Offer Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:40 AM Well, I'm looking for a woman with a guitar, since I can't play myself. I have one in mind, but she hasn't been cooperating. We could make beautiful music together... -Lonesome Joe- |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: Morticia Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:36 AM What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?......Homeless. |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: CarolC Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:27 AM Ouch!
English Jon, are you having fun yet? Carol |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: English Jon Date: 09 Apr 01 - 03:49 AM My guitar is definitely better than the last girl I had anything to do with. It has never lied, cheated, stolen from me or destroyed anything of mine. Neither has it ever bollocked me for no reason whatsoever, taken my cat away from me or kicked me out of my own house. Neither has it used my phone to send offensive messages to old girlfriends, ostensibly from me. And it's completely in tune all the way up the neck, and the pickups are fantastic, and it is actually helping my musical career unlike insane ex-girlfriend. In some cases, guitars really are better than girls. Sorry. Don't know where that came from. Maybe we're taking this thread a bit too seriously? English Jon |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: Philibuster Date: 09 Apr 01 - 02:05 AM To CarolC: Thats one of the reasons girlfriends are better than guitars.
To Hesperis: I mean to poke fun, not to insult women or relationships. Nor did I mean guys are better. Being a guy myself, I can tell you that many of us are assholes. I know much more unstrung guys than unstrung girls. |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: hesperis Date: 09 Apr 01 - 01:52 AM 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girlfriends- 1. Only expensive once. You mean the first time you buy one? What about all the other guitars you then buy? Do they not count? 2. If they come unstrung, it only takes a few minutes to fix them. I've known a LOT of "unstrung" guys, too. Guitars, no matter how beautiful, aren't human. That could be good or bad... 3. Any dischord in the relationship can be fixed with tuning forks. Any dischord in the relationship can be fixed with communication and personal space. The romance might not be fixable, but the relationship can be. 4. Don't mind if you hang out with an old one for a while. Define "hang out" 5. Willing to cuddle whenever you are. I usually am willing to cuddle with my sweetie, anytime! *g* 6. Don't care if you forget when you got them. Hmmm, I forgot when I "got" my guy! OHNO! 7. Can keep many at a time, with no problems. Hmmm, if you really want more than one, then that is a definite advantage for the guitars... 8. Always love your taste in music. So? Difference is the spice of life. 9. There's books on how they work. There are books on how girls work, too. There are books on any subject. 10. Don't ask if they look fat. Yeah, it's annoying when girls do that, for sure. I don't. 11. Become more valuable physically as they age. Certain cultures respect older women, and see each wrinkle as added value. Sucks that you don't live in one of those cultures. 12. Always have good character. ??? I've met some pretty crappy guitars. Well, there's twelve. Need some help on the next 87. Any takers? Sorry to be so serious, but I think there are definite logical flaws in your original post. ~*sirepseh*~ |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: GUEST,SeanM Date: 09 Apr 01 - 01:48 AM But... but... but... If it wasn't for girls and girlfriends, where would we find couches to sleep on and lean the guitars on between gigs? M |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: Mark Clark Date: 09 Apr 01 - 01:29 AM Geez, I thought girls were why we had guitars in the first place. - Mark |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: DougR Date: 09 Apr 01 - 01:10 AM Carol C, that's funny. DougR |
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Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: CarolC Date: 09 Apr 01 - 12:39 AM Um... Ok, have fun with your guitar... |
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Subject: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls From: Philibuster Date: 09 Apr 01 - 12:35 AM 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girlfriends- 1. Only expensive once. 2. If they come unstrung, it only takes a few minutes to fix them. 3. Any dischord in the relationship can be fixed with tuning forks. 4. Don't mind if you hang out with an old one for a while. 5. Willing to cuddle whenever you are. 6. Don't care if you forget when you got them. 7. Can keep many at a time, with no problems. 8. Always love your taste in music. 9. There's books on how they work. 10. Don't ask if they look fat. 11. Become more valuable physically as they age. 12. Always have good character. Well, there's twelve. Need some help on the next 87. Any takers? |
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