BS: Discarded first drafts

Subject: Discarded first drafts
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 21 May 01 - 08:34 AM

A cartoon in the New Statesman set this off:
Would the following have made it if the creators hadn't revised?
Captain Corelli's tiple
The Saints go marching out
St James' Outpatients Department
Aristocracy Blues
Well you get the drift...folk and blues examples especially welcomed.
RtS (a first draft my parents unfortunately never improved on)

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 21 May 01 - 08:55 AM

The water is quite narrow, I could prob'ly jump o'er...

Once I had a sprig of Basil....

If I were a crow I would squawk and I'd croak, and follow the boat what carried my bloke....

Kris

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 21 May 01 - 09:01 AM

I was standing on the corner, when I heard my bulldog bark.
So I put him on his lead, and took him for a shit in the park...

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: GUEST
Date: 21 May 01 - 09:10 AM

and three old favourites:
I've been a calm clerical worker for many a year
Oh, Hezekiah boy, the bodhrans are calling
The Surbiton to Waterloo line is a mighty good line
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Les from Hull
Date: 21 May 01 - 09:12 AM

Well, I didn't wake up this morning...

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: mousethief
Date: 21 May 01 - 11:56 AM

I laughed out loud at "Hezekiah Boy." Thanks, GUEST.

Probably half of the most famous folk songs of all times once started, "As I stayed home one May morning..."

I believe in the original version, Barbara Ellen actually comes to the young man's bedside, says she loves him, and then he gets better and they get married and have lots of kids.

"American Pie" originally started....

"A couple of days ago, I can still remember
How the music used to make me laugh."

And of course there's that famous song from around these parts about the guy who works in the engine parts warehouse for Buick. I refer, of course, to Acres of Cams.

Enough for now.

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: pattyClink
Date: 21 May 01 - 05:15 PM

I've been told the immortal and perfect "Midnight Train to Georgia" began life as "Midnight Plane to Houston"...

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Chicken Charlie
Date: 21 May 01 - 05:51 PM

Something about Ol' 97 pulling into the station would probably crop up, I suppose. "Bumper Crop of Cotton"--? "De Las' Boll Weevil Jus' Up an' Died."

In eighteen-fourteen we took a little trip
With the mighty British Army up the muddy Mississipp ....

I wish I was in the land of okra;
Old times there were mediocra ....

You said first drafts.

CC

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: lady penelope
Date: 21 May 01 - 05:55 PM

" Tom Pierce, Tom Pierce lend me your gray mare" "NO!"

"The slightly livid dill"

"My old man's a broker"

TTFN M'Lady P.

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 May 01 - 06:32 PM

Swing Low, Sweet Chaise Lounge?

The Night Rider's Whinging

All I Have to Do Is Shut My Eyes, Count Sheep and Finally Dream

Catch a Falling Meteor

I'm So Lonesome I Could Eat Some Chocolate

My Egg has broken, like the first eh-eh-eh-egg
Blackbird has spoken like ...

Sir Patrick Spends

Smoke Gets Up Your Nose

Wild Peak Time

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Grab
Date: 21 May 01 - 08:38 PM

New Amsterdam, New Amsterdam
I left my lungs in Los Angeles
When you fish upon a car - for owners of amphibious vehicles everywhere
Sage, rosemary, and a few other herbs sitting in pots at the back of the cupboard

"The Hartlepool gorilla" would certainly be more interesting - my money's on the ape to win by knockout. And "Sultans of swing" wouldn't be the same if it was a warm dry night.

Reality is always stranger than fiction though, and I really can't compete with Sir Paul's "Scrambled eggs, oh you've got such lovely legs"!

Graham.

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Amos
Date: 21 May 01 - 08:49 PM

When James Harrington was a little baby,
Reclining on his Nanny's lap....

I'm Old Bob Craven, and I stayed in New Haven
In the good old golden days....

There was a ship that sailed, back and forth across a pond,
And the name of our Ship was "The Alabaster Frond"...

"I'm a good old Yankee soldier, that's what I am by crack<
And I'm awful glad we won the war, and got the Gummint back...."

"Way down upon the Muskogeewakenofee Tributary, far, far away....",

"Some people say a man is made outta amino acids...."

"Oh then tell me, Sean O'Farrell, tell me why you hurry so?
I'm just hurrying out for errands, for the missus doncha know...."

Don't get me started....

"When I was a lad, and Little Llewellyn was a pup...."...

A

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Bert
Date: 22 May 01 - 01:31 AM

Somewhere over the garbage cans.
7up, Glorious 7up.
I'd like to get you on a Greyhound to Kansas.
Blow the man up.
Blowing in the Whistle.
Chivalrous Tadpole.
Cold Logger.

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 22 May 01 - 03:48 AM

You make me feel like a caesarian born woman
All around my ear muffs I will wear the green willow
In Dublins fair city where the girls are so average
Patrish

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 22 May 01 - 04:55 AM

Yahahahahah! My total absolute favourite has to be Bert's Blow the Man Up!!!!!!

Kris

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Crazy Eddie
Date: 22 May 01 - 06:20 AM

"Coffee, Coffee, Nancy Coffee,
"Coffee, Coffee, Nan-c-ee-oo"

"The stone outside the Honourable Wilberforce Forthesque-Throgmorton's door"

"As I came home on Monday night, having stopped for a cup of Tea
I saw a horse outside the door, where my old horse should be"

"There's a mansion on a mountain quite close by in Tenesee"

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: GUEST,micca at work
Date: 22 May 01 - 06:32 AM

"As I strolled out on a May morning
The dew wet my feet so I went back to change my shoes"

" Should Old acquaentance be fogot
YES!!!!

Are you going to Scarborough Fair
No, I forgot!!!

Whiskey is the death of Man

Come all you Maids who live at distance
Forget your love and his romance
and if your love displays persistance
You can lead him a merry dance
singing sweetly and completly songs to tantalise and tease
and if you are clever with it
You can have him on his knees

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 22 May 01 - 06:41 AM

Nice to see the ball picked up and run with by so many talented 'Catters. I'll just add one more:
There is a house in New Orleans
They call Dunroamin'
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 22 May 01 - 07:01 AM

The man who broke the bank in Milton Keynes

Parsley Sage Rosemary and Basil

Patrish

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 22 May 01 - 08:38 AM

Shakespeare notoriously had teething troubles with plays such as:-
The Merry Wives of Slough
Eleventh Evening
Mick and Beth (with lines such as "is this a duck I see before me" and "out damned Fido!")

Graham Greene's cricketing novel "The eleventh man" didn't catch on.

Douglas Adams' "Hitch Hikers Guide to Milton Keynes" also flopped, as did the sequel "Thanks for the fish, we'll be back on Thursday"

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Crazy Eddie
Date: 22 May 01 - 10:07 AM

Yes, some of Shakespeare's (unsucceful)earlier works discovered recently include:
Two Geezers from Bexhill
The shopkeeper of Croydon & of course
Lot of Bother about Sweet F#@^ All

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Mountain Dog
Date: 22 May 01 - 10:15 AM

The Bard also wisely discarded "Juliet's Seizure" before it had gotten past the first draft...

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: MMario
Date: 22 May 01 - 10:33 AM

The original second verse for "The Crayfish"

NO.

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 22 May 01 - 11:05 AM

Oh whaur are ye gauin? said the fause knicht on the road.
Mind yer ain dam' business! said the wee boy, an' still he stood.
Eric Winter? (And the spell-check would have polished off the second draft ...)

Our gallant frigate Amphitrite
She sank oin Plymouth sound.
(Cyril Tawney, I believe)

There are three grotty lasses in Banyan

There were three brothers in Merry Scotland,
In Scotland there were brothers three;
And they emigrated to America and got jobs at 7-Eleven ..

Come all you seamen bold and draw near, and draw near,
Come all you seamen bold and draw near.
It's of an admiral's fame,
Arthur Wilson was his name;
Why he never rose to fame
You shall hear, you ... where have they all gone?

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: LR Mole
Date: 22 May 01 - 11:22 AM

This land must be someone's here, I bet. To everything, wait, wait, wait... It's All Right ,Ma (I've got a Band-Aid) Has Anyone Sere Seen My Old Friend, um...

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Lyndi-loo
Date: 22 May 01 - 11:33 AM

And Britannia's Huns with their long range guns, poured death through the nice clear air. Or Wordsworth's "I walked about a bit on my own"

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Midchuck
Date: 22 May 01 - 11:38 AM

It is said that Stan Rogers composed a ballad about a ship's crew who made an arrangement with an obese, aging prostitute to service the lot of them for a "bulk rate," as it were. However, they made the deal in a bar, where she had drunk a great deal of beer, and it was raining and the pavement was wet, so she fell as they were walking her back to her apartment. The sailors' problems getting the lady back on her feet took up the greater part of the song.

Stan was eventually persuaded that the song as drafted was unmarketable, so he rewrote it, changing the story somewhat.

"She went down last October, in a pouring, driving rain..."

Peter

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: mousethief
Date: 22 May 01 - 11:54 AM

"Blow the Man Up" is priceless. Thank you, Bert!

------------------------------

I found a scrap of paper in a garbage can out behind Don McLean's summer home, and was surprised to read:

Well them's the breaks, Miss American Cakes
Drove my Buick to the ford, tho' it ain't got no brakes
And southern flakes were drinking triple-thick shakes
Singin' this'll be the day my ass bakes
This'll be the day my ass bakes....

---------------
Some other lesser-known discarded first drafts:

I wanna go back to my little grass shack in Point Barrow, Alaska

Multiple personality syndrome strikes deep
Into your mind it will creep...

The prettiest girl I ever saw
Was chugging Michelob with Spaw

One pill makes you purple
And one pill makes you pink
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything, I think.

Where have all the onions gone?

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: GUEST
Date: 22 May 01 - 12:21 PM

Oh No John, No John, Maybe John, Yes!

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Don Firth
Date: 22 May 01 - 12:32 PM

Greennickers?

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: mousethief
Date: 22 May 01 - 12:37 PM

Avast, my love, you do me right?

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Bert
Date: 22 May 01 - 12:40 PM

I told my love to take a hike.

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 22 May 01 - 12:41 PM

Mousethief, many don't even realize that the original title of Don McClean's song was Hello Miss Armenian Pop-over.

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Bert
Date: 22 May 01 - 12:44 PM

My Ex-Brother-in-law used to swear that the original Eenglish version went...

This Land is Your Land, This Land is My Land
From Stoke-Poges to Canvey Island...

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Don Firth
Date: 22 May 01 - 12:47 PM

It takes a horny man to sing a horny song. . . .

(Hmm . . . that still has potential. . . .)

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: mousethief
Date: 22 May 01 - 12:48 PM

Actually I think the original was by Andrew Carnegie, and went:

This land is my land, this land is my land.....

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Mountain Dog
Date: 22 May 01 - 05:32 PM

"Scientology Got My Woman"

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: mousethief
Date: 22 May 01 - 05:43 PM

As Bob Dylan never wrote, and Jimi Hendrix never sang,

There must be some kind of way out of here
Said one Jehovah's Witness to the other

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: mousethief
Date: 22 May 01 - 05:49 PM

Good Morning, Irene
Delia's Still Here
Carolina in the Cedars
Me and You and a Cat named Fluffy
The Train They Call the 9:15 Interurban Special
...Almost heaven, north New Jersey

alex

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 May 01 - 11:41 PM

In the most recent Dylan biography, it has finally come to light that Bob had a lot of trouble in this area.

All I Really Want To Do Is Crap
When I Paint My Garage Wall
Ballad In A-flat Minor
Blown In The Windham Hotel
Simple Twist Of Licorice
French Is The Loving Tongue
Tonight I'll Be Staying Her With Your Sister
Don't Think Twice, It's A Bitch
Rainy Day Woman 9 and 33
Masters Of Police Actions
Leopard Skin Pork-Pie Hat
It's Alright Ma, I'm Only Farting
Highway 492(ALT)-301 South Revisited
Desolation Parkway
Love Minus Zero/No Math Skills
Visions of Joeoffer

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 01 - 12:31 AM

Visions of JOEOFFER!!!!!?????? Spaw I have GOT to have a MIDI of that. Who's got the lyrics!!!??? I'll pay any price!!

ROTFLMAO!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Troll
Date: 23 May 01 - 12:46 AM

Alas my love, you have done me dirt
You have sewn greensleeves on my purple shirt...
You Ain't Nothin' But A Goldfish
Great Balls Of Chocolate
Plain Vanilla
All My Oatmeal
Brown Leather Shoes
I Walk The Sidewalk.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Troll
Date: 23 May 01 - 12:48 AM

"Plain Vanilla" may be a bit obscure.
Think Richard Penneman.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 23 May 01 - 12:58 AM

Funny stuff, Spaw!

how about

Watching the River Overflow

Stuck Inside of Cincy with the Newport Blues Again

All Along she just wanted to sell me The Watchtower

A Mild Drizzle's A-gonna Fall

Quinn the Aleut

Maggie's Farm-fresh Eggs

If Not for You I wouldn't Have This Thing on my Lip

Just Like Frankie Forefinger's Blues

Tonight I'll Be Staying in the Loo

I'll Be Your Rabbi Tonight

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Mad Maudlin
Date: 23 May 01 - 03:06 AM

Leopard Skin Pork-Pie Hat? Spaw,this made it worth getting up and it saved my morning! Almost snorted my tea all over the screen... TCOMN! (Tea Coming Out My Nose):-)))

Nathalie, still chuckling

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Crazy Eddie
Date: 23 May 01 - 04:13 AM

"Frankie & Johnny were just good friends......"
"I left my liver in San Francisco"
"When I was a lad, old Goldie was a gold-fish....."
"Ghost Riders in the bath-tub"
"Kind, Kind, Leroy Brown....."

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 23 May 01 - 04:27 AM

If I was wearing one, I'd take my hat off to everyone! I am not worthy to be in your company! I now know how Pandora felt when she opened the box!
One more:
Make me a pallet on the ceiling
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: SeanM
Date: 23 May 01 - 04:34 AM

"Oh they're moving father's grave
Because he isn't dead and decided to get cremated after we paid for this bloody expensive crypt"

"There's a neat little still at the base of the hill
With a drunk pissing into the stream nearby..."

"Where have you been all day, Henry me son?"
"I've been stuck under a semi..."

"You load sixteen tons, and what do you get?
A nice fat payraise on your next paycheck"

"'Twas a Friday Morn, when we set sail
And we were not far from the land,
When the captain he espied the port we sailed for
So he we should prepare to sell our cargo and then buy more"

How DID some of these ideas ever get missed? The Dylan ones almost made me spray my glass of water...

M

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Lyndi-loo
Date: 23 May 01 - 05:45 AM

Lonnie Donegan "My ol man's a chartered accountant
Fleetwood Mac "because I need your love a wee bit"
"the cleansing of George's cowshed"
"over the sea to the Isle of Wight"
T"The mountains of Norfolk" and that good ol Welsh one "Men of Llantwit Major"

Subject: RE: BS: Discarded first drafts
From: Frug
Date: 23 May 01 - 05:51 AM

And.......'Take this Spanner'.....'No Woman No Hassle ' .......'Don't Let Your Tyres go Down'......'Parsley, Sage, Garlic and a Stock Cube'.......'If I Were a Bricklayer'...........'Alice's Hot Dog Stand' etc. etc. etc.