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What becomes of the broken hearted?
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Alice Date: 08 Jul 01 - 10:03 AM Firecat, if you are finding that you constantly think about him, have him in your mind the first thing when you wake up, the last thing before you go to sleep... it's, time to work on consciously moving on. Believe us, this is not the guy you would be happily married to. He is an experience in your youth that some day you will look back on... and be glad you didn't waste any more time with him. Until you can go through a day without thinking about him, don't start seriously dating a new man. Get this guy out of your system by taking care of yourself, growing your own potential, having new experiences that have nothing to do with him. It can take some time to get over him, but consciously working on new experiences and your own talents, will bring you a richer life and make what you have to offer in a future relationship even more enjoyable. Now, go do something new, that won't remind you of 'him'.
{{{{{{Firecat}}}}}}} End of lecture. Alice |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 08 Jul 01 - 03:19 AM Firecat - Cow is an affectionate term of abuse.... Had it been bitch, it would have been different. I was being abusive because you're younger than me (hell, if you're still a student, I could be your MOTHER!) but was being affectionate because, well, I'm that sort of person. It's like calling your best friend names. You know. Don't take it personally, everyone younger than me gets called names sooner or later, it's just me getting old and Diana Trent-like. As you get older you'll hate everyone younger than you as well. Besides, I like cows. Some of my best days were spent with cows on Granfer's farm. LTS |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: kendall Date: 07 Jul 01 - 11:10 PM You could always become a teen age philosopher and go around with a guitar wailing out your diary entries and calling yourself a singer/songwriter! Hey, it's been done before. Guaranteed a few years from now you will look back and think, "I must have been crazy!" |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: mousethief Date: 07 Jul 01 - 10:57 PM Sharon, you've joined! Welcome! Firecat, remember that healing is a cyclical process. You may get mad, then get nostalgic, then blue, and then do it all over again, in a different order, with different intensities. It helped me to learn this when my first wife dumped me. So you won't be surprised. More hugs. Alex |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Naemanson Date: 07 Jul 01 - 10:54 PM The answer to the original question in this thread is simple but oh so hard to achieve. What becomes of the broken hearted? They heal. |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Benjamin Date: 07 Jul 01 - 08:23 PM Firecat, seems you've been talking about this breakup for awhile. Trust me, you didn't want to marry this guy. Your young, there's no need to tie yourself down now. Go out, have a good time, enjoy yourself, and most importantly, Move on with your life! Maybe you should try something new. You won't be over this anytime soon, but it's better to start your life sooner than later. In a few months, you won't have to bring it up in every conversation.
Hope you feel better! BMW |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Ebbie Date: 05 Jul 01 - 05:12 PM Sharon, all my life people have told me I'm too literal minded. Can't imagine why. Sigh Ebbie |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: SharonA Date: 05 Jul 01 - 03:42 PM Hmmm... maybe I shouldn't have said "five years ago"... Guess I should stop counting, too, huh? It just amazes me how much richer and fuller these past 5 years have been than the previous 13 were, that's all... SharonA |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: SharonA Date: 05 Jul 01 - 03:38 PM Ebbie, I was KIDDING about the eye! Just a little JOKE! (Y'know, like, if you have your eye ON someone — sticking TO that person — then it's no longer in your head, so the parallax between the two eyes is increased a bazillion-fold and it's hard to read, particularly if you wear glasses... aw, never mind. I guess my humor is too obtuse). Firecat, I humbly suggest that you avoid counting the days since your breakup; it serves no good purpose. Instead, be sure to schedule enjoyable things to do in the near future, and count down the days until each event comes around. Five years ago, after the end of my 13-year relationship with [that #%$^@!& excuse for a man whose name I'd love to have forgotten], one of my friends recommended that I involve myself with activities I enjoyed... so I threw myself into my music, and I think (hope!) I've made other people besides myself happy in the process. It's taken me places I never dreamed I could go... and some that I never even knew existed. So I'm passing my friend's advice on to you as well. SharonA |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Amergin Date: 05 Jul 01 - 03:19 PM Actually , FC, I thought it was supposed to be short for cower....but then I'm not sure....with that mouth that LTS appears to have I can't imagine her cowering from anything.... |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Firecat Date: 05 Jul 01 - 02:49 PM Liz, was that "cow" aimed at me or what you think I'll be saying about you??? |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Alice Date: 05 Jul 01 - 09:22 AM {{{{{{Firecat}}}}}}} Although when a heart is bleeding, it doesn't always help to hear that there are better fish in the sea, but it sounds like you're coping. Here's wishing for you that the pain "fades away like the morning dew". |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 05 Jul 01 - 01:53 AM We ALL appreciate you dear, not least for this thread where we can all have a wail and a bar of chocolate and dispense personal experiences and pearls of wisdom because we're all SO MUCH OLDER THAN YOU!!! (Cow.) You succeeded in dredging up some really old memories for me, for which I'm partially grateful, hopefully they were of some benefit. LTS |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Firecat Date: 04 Jul 01 - 04:15 PM Thanks, Amergin! Nice to know SOMEBODY appreciates me!! |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Amergin Date: 03 Jul 01 - 01:17 PM Now that I believe, FC.....that's the firecat we have all come to know and love... |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Firecat Date: 03 Jul 01 - 01:01 PM I haven't gone "Aw, Mother"! I've gone "I'm gonna kill you for that!". It'll be a week tomorrow since we split. |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Peter Kasin Date: 03 Jul 01 - 01:54 AM Firecat, it's the world's worst feeling, but as much as it seems like the sadness and heartbreak will never go away, it really does. When you find a new romance, you'll be amazed at how all those feelings of "what did I do wrong/" and "If only I could take back the times I said....and done..." melt away. Until then, one way of making these days bearable is to take walks by yourself, concentrate on little things, like the aroma of some flowers you pass by, an interesting sign in a window...take the time to see things you normally don't pay much attention to. Once you make that a habit, you'll really appreciate being comfortable with yourself again, and you'll be in a better frame of mind for whatever happens next. Good thoughts your way, -chanteyranger |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Tig Date: 02 Jul 01 - 06:20 PM Yes but Firecat turned down the one who asked her out because she didn't feel ready yet! (It'll go Aw, Mother!!) She says he was cute but too old for her at 23. |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: LR Mole Date: 02 Jul 01 - 04:32 PM Beatrice Fairfax was sort of a Miss Lonelyhearts-Ann Landers writer, my mother-in-law tells me. Best version is Elvis Costello's on that Gershwin compilation with Sting and Sinead (who sounds quite mad, big news).ANYWAY,Firecat, melancholy can make one feel quite heroic, once out the other side. Something to stare at the heath and be moody about. If it didn't hurt, it wouldn't make you grow. (Says the Mole, who had a root canal last week and frankly would rather have had his emotions bent.) |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 02 Jul 01 - 03:38 PM Watch out it isn't a rebound thing, have some fun, but don't get tangled up too much too soon. Sometimes you'll only have the rest of your life to think of what might have beens..... LTS |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Ebbie Date: 02 Jul 01 - 01:00 PM Not at all, Sharon, IMO. Youth is so accelerated, it feels more quickly, more readily and more whole-heartedly than do those who have more years on them. For that same reason, they also heal faster. Just think of small children- look at how quickly they recover from an illness or injury. My husband's twin brother fell off the table where they had placed him at birth, and broke his arm. All they did was make sure the bones were lined up. They left it at that. We all lose the resilience in a predictable manner, it seems. On the other hand, I have probably offended everyone here. I remember my daughter didn't like to be reminded that some of what she was feeling was attributable to her youth! I guess I'm feeling pedantic this morning... Ebbie |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: GUEST,SharonA Date: 02 Jul 01 - 08:47 AM Ew! How sticky! Doesn't that make it a bit awkward to read these threads? |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Firecat Date: 02 Jul 01 - 05:45 AM Thanks everybody! I've got my eye on someone else now anyway! Wish me luck!! |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 01 Jul 01 - 01:51 PM Yeah but she was a heroine to most of the right thinking world, and the others just wished they'd had the guts to do the same..... LTS |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: catspaw49 Date: 01 Jul 01 - 06:40 AM Hey FC....Good advice here from your old fart friends and some of your contemporaries too. I wouldn't take Kendall's advice too literally though.......I mean like, "Break it off," is a good idea and all but Loreena Bobbitt went to jail for that, so my suggestion would be that maybe you just chop some Cocktail Wienies in half or something......................Big Hugs from Ol' Spaw. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Fibula Mattock Date: 01 Jul 01 - 05:54 AM Aw, Firecat, I've been away and I missed this thread. Sorry to hear that. Go through the sadness stage (ballads and favourite sad songs), then reach the angry stage (some very heavy music required for this) and it will eventually move on into the over-it phase. It takes some time, it messes you up a bit, but at the end of the day, having been through the losers, you get to appreciate and recognise the great ones when they come along. |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Mr Red Date: 01 Jul 01 - 05:10 AM An ex-girlfriend used to write OXOXOXO on her letters. The X's are obviously kisses but the O's are like the arms around a person. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........ will that do? |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Amergin Date: 30 Jun 01 - 04:53 PM I don't know...either one sounds good to me.... |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Firecat Date: 30 Jun 01 - 04:49 PM Amergin, did I pop WHO a good one? Alan or Oliver?! |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 28 Jun 01 - 06:27 PM Oh Jim - been there, done that, had the panic attack.... Trouble is, he has a fairly common name and I see it everywhere..... it even popped up on TV last night as the name of a block of flats! Even after all this time, it still wrenches..... Firecat, sometimes it's better for it to be out in the open, for one it gets more sympathy, 2, it may prevent some other poor soul getting the same treatment, and 3, if he was the bad guy, you get all the chocolate! And if you have good friends, you don't have to worry about the serrated knives and car tyres yourself..... if they're anything like mine - and I still don't know who it was.... they'll get him for you!! LTS |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Tig Date: 28 Jun 01 - 06:14 PM See I told you that Mudcats would give lots of hugs. I'm pleased you saw him - the tissue supply was running out and at least you now KNOW what you did(n't) do to him!! Love you lotsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: GUEST,SharonA Date: 28 Jun 01 - 05:45 PM Great battering bodhrans! That makes two stupid boys (Mister-fed-up and Oliver-the-moron)!!! I'm really sorry you had to go through all that cr*p. Please allow me to add my arms to the group hug, my been-there heart to the pile, and my advice-you-didn't ask-for to the list. Do: Cry, laugh, sing, write, pamper yourself, stick with supportive people... basically, live well. Don't: Don't use grenades, uzis, serrated knives, rocks through windows, cars through doors, baseball bats through nasal cavities... basically, don't get yourself arrested. :^) The cathartic song that helped me most is George Gershwin's "But Not For Me": Old man sunshine, listen, you, Never tell me dreams come true.. Just try it and I'll start a riot. Beatrice Fairfax, don't you dare Ever tell me he will care. I'm certain it's the final curtain. I never wanna hear From any cheer- -ful Pollyannas who tell me fate Supplies a mate; It's all bananas. They're writing songs of love, but not for me. A lucky star's above, but not for me. With love to lead the way, I've found more clouds of gray Than any Russian play could guarantee. I was a fool to fall and get this way. Heigh-ho, alas, and also lack-a-day. Although I can't dismiss the memory of his kiss I guess he's not for me. Finally, fuggeddabout that kiss-a-few-frogs, fish-in-the-sea stuff. Concentrate on mammals. SharonA P.S. Who the heck was Beatrice Fairfax, anyway??? |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Amergin Date: 28 Jun 01 - 03:21 PM Did you pop him a good one? |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Firecat Date: 28 Jun 01 - 03:17 PM Thanks everyone. I saw him today and he said that he felt the relationship was not working out and that's why he did the deed. I did go to college, and was fine, until a stupid boy called Oliver overheard me telling the tutor (who also happens to be his IT teacher!) that I hadn't seen him (cos she was asking) and that we'd split up. He then decided to shout it across the OLC where I had the lesson. Very tactful! Oh well, Oliver's a moron anyway. |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: GUEST,Naemanson Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:55 AM Sigh! I can't wait to get back to my own computer. The last was me. |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: GUEST Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:55 AM Take your time, you have lots, and when you start to feel better someone will come by who will knock your socks off. In a few months your eyes will clear and you will start to see the real faults in Mr. Fed Up. You need to be aware that you have embarked on a roller coaster ride. Some days you will be down in the dumps and others you will feel fine. Just ride the coaster and let it take you where it will. Always keep in mind that the ride is finite and will end sooner or later. And you will be happy on the other end. Good luck, kid. I am hoping you find that the ride is a short one. |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Tig Date: 28 Jun 01 - 10:24 AM But you STILL have to go to college whether you feel like it or not!!!! |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Chip2447 Date: 28 Jun 01 - 12:50 AM Hugs Firecat, I wish I had some magic words to make everything better for you. Things do get better. Twas his loss not your's. Live and revel with the choice he made, and be thankful that the Fates showed you his true self you had wasted anymore time with the bum.
Hugs, |
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Subject: Lyr Add: CRAZY (Willie Nelson) From: GUEST,Hagbard Date: 27 Jun 01 - 11:51 PM Several years ago, I dated a wonderful woman. She was kind intelligent and beautiful. I dearly loved her, but distance, age differences, and change within ourselves came between us. It was very difficult for me when we broke up, but music helped me through it. I've found that Leonard Cohen and Eric Bogle can provide a cleansing and cathartic form of sadness. Afterwards, I'll play some Fred Small to lift me up. Here's a classic from the archives. I've always found it to help: CRAZY
Crazy |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Lyrical Lady Date: 27 Jun 01 - 11:29 PM Well, don't it just SUCK to be him! Feel for ya Firecat. LL |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Bert Date: 27 Jun 01 - 11:14 PM Well WE love you Firecat. Here's some brown paper and string which is guaranteed to fix any broken heart. Love, Bert. |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: katlaughing Date: 27 Jun 01 - 10:48 PM {{{{{{{{{{{{{FIRECAT}}}}}}}}}}}}}} They don't call you Firecat for nothing, do they? Be righteous in your anger, take plenty of time to wallow, but not too much, say yes to friends when they ask you to do things with them (like go to the Jug), and don't beat yourself up over him. How about this for a different version:
A soul, a soul, a soulmate
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: JenEllen Date: 27 Jun 01 - 10:31 PM Well, darlin'one....this might not be the right time just yet, but I heartily advocate taking the pro-active in this situation. You didn't lose, HE did. What you did to the bodhran was a start!
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: CarolC Date: 27 Jun 01 - 09:43 PM Firecat, I'm really sorry about your situation.
The only advice I have is don't get stuck in this part of your life. You have a lot of living to do, and although it probably doesn't feel like it right now, this experience is just a very small part of it.
Take care,
((((((((((hugs))))))))) Carol |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Firecat Date: 27 Jun 01 - 07:00 PM Thanks to all of you. I've just come back from the infamous Jug Inn, where I battered the hell out of my bodhran, while imagining it was his private area!! Mind you, I did end up bursting into tears once! |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: kendall Date: 27 Jun 01 - 06:38 PM GNU is absolutely right. Break off all contact. It took me almost 3 years to get over it, and, the only way that works is to break it off totally. If you keep going back, you will remain stuck. |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Amergin Date: 27 Jun 01 - 06:06 PM Oh FireCat.....I am so sorry to hear that...what a piece of shit....you need some one to bust his kneecaps? I see it as his loss, not yours...He lost out on a wonderful thing...and unfotunately hurt you in the process...Just put lots of space in between you two...and don't let yourself get bitter....Your mister is out there somewhere...and you will know him once you meet him... Hugs from Oregon (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Firecat)))))))))))))))))))))) |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: mousethief Date: 27 Jun 01 - 06:03 PM Clinton, I *love* that song! Her voice (on the live version) is so perfect, with the aching of unfilled longing. It really does capture the feeling of love lost. Here is another.
Don't Feel Your Touch
In front of a newborn moon pushing up its glistening dome.
To be held in the heart of a friend is to be a king
The last light of day crept away like a drunkard after gin. posted by Alex |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Jim Krause Date: 27 Jun 01 - 05:51 PM Sometimes I find it pretty difficult to say the appropriate words, and the rest of the time, I can't think of 'em. Some folks say that eventually you get over all this. Me? I'm not so sure. I think the surprise of my life is that sometimes when I least expect it, something, some song I used to sing, hearing some one else say something SHE used to say brings back memories of HER. And there are the anniversaries. So don't be surprised if in say twenty-five years you catch yourself wondering whatever happened. I thought I'd forget in time. I haven't. What a surprise. So, get out your guitar if you have one, write a song if you can, and don't get the ice cream on your strings. Best wishes, Jim |
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Subject: RE: What becomes of the broken hearted? From: Dave (the ancient mariner) Date: 27 Jun 01 - 05:42 PM {{{{{FIRECAT}}}}} Lots more fish in the sea lass....Yours, Aye. Dave |
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