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Req: Two line jokes...good ones!
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Subject: Two line jokes...good ones! From: GUEST Date: 14 Nov 01 - 02:29 PM Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'Ok let's get this thing started: Two Irishmen were coming out of a pub...it could've happened!! At the pub one night a Welshman bought the house a round...it could've happened!! Q)What do you get by crossing a banjo and a mandolin? A)An instrument so out of tune even the bass player notices! Ok, you get the idea... |
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Subject: RE: Tune Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: GUEST,emily b Date: 14 Nov 01 - 02:33 PM Two peanuts were walking through Central Park. One was a salted. |
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Subject: RE: Tune Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Maxine Date: 14 Nov 01 - 04:42 PM A penguin asks the barman, "has my brother been in?" The barman says" dunno, what does he look like?" Boom boom... |
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Subject: RE: Tune Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Arbuthnot Date: 14 Nov 01 - 08:37 PM A sandwich goes into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says -Go away. We don't serve food. Definition of Australian foreplay - Brace yourself, Sheila |
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Subject: RE: Tune Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: AliUK Date: 14 Nov 01 - 08:51 PM whats red and white, has three legs, big teeth and hundreds of claws? I dont know either but if you see one, run like f**k. |
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Subject: RE: Tune Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: kendall Date: 15 Nov 01 - 09:15 AM My doctor refused to give me Viagra, said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building. |
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Subject: RE: Tune Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: The_one_and_only_Dai Date: 15 Nov 01 - 09:59 AM What's black, white and red, and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head. |
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Subject: RE: Tune Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Raptor Date: 15 Nov 01 - 10:10 AM What do you do if a folk singer shows up at your door?
Pay him for the pizza! Raptor |
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Subject: RE: Tune Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: GUEST,Lionel Date: 15 Nov 01 - 10:11 AM Have you heard about the judge with no balls? Justice Prick. |
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Subject: RE: Tune Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Midchuck Date: 15 Nov 01 - 10:15 AM WASP foreplay - drying the dishes for your wife. Jewish foreplay - three hours of begging (The guy who told me that is named Cohen, so I assume there's something to it - unless it's just him.) Peter. |
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Subject: RE: Tune Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Raptor Date: 15 Nov 01 - 10:23 AM If a man talks in a forest, and there isn't a woman around to hear him Is he still wrong?
I'll just apologise for that one right now. SORRY! Raptor |
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Subject: RE: Tune Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Dave the Gnome Date: 15 Nov 01 - 10:28 AM Genré - 2 line jokes.
Sub-genré - Questions and answers
Sub-genré - Did you hear? (Still questions but not quite the same!)
Sub-genré - Statements Any more? Cheers Dave the Gnome
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Subject: RE: Tune Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: GUEST Date: 08 Feb 09 - 11:07 PM what do you call a fish that is missing an eye? a FSH |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: GUEST,big andy Date: 09 Feb 09 - 04:01 AM a man walks into a bar and asks fro a double ontornder so the landlord GAVE HIM ONE |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Stu Date: 09 Feb 09 - 04:21 AM A horse walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?". What do baby gorillas sleep in? Apricots. |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Georgiansilver Date: 09 Feb 09 - 06:35 AM The dyslexic blonde who attacked her boyfriend with an iron bra! |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: bubblyrat Date: 09 Feb 09 - 06:41 AM What's the difference between someone with "green fingers" and an Indian sea-food curry ?? One's a Born Pruner, the other's a Prawn Bhuna. |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Georgiansilver Date: 09 Feb 09 - 06:42 AM What is the difference between the Whitehall Theatre and a Public Convenience...???? Easy really... the Whitehall Theatre is for Arts and Farces! |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: bubblyrat Date: 09 Feb 09 - 06:45 AM Oh,and what's the difference between a Magician's Wand, and a Policeman's Truncheon (Nightstick) ?? A Magician's Wand is for Cunning Stunts......... |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Georgiansilver Date: 09 Feb 09 - 07:15 AM Oh and what's the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl... That's easy too:- The bad marksman shoots but can't hit!!! |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Georgiansilver Date: 09 Feb 09 - 07:17 AM Ohhhh and what's the difference between a nun in Church and a nun in the bath. The nun in Church has hope in her soul!! |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Georgiansilver Date: 09 Feb 09 - 07:18 AM Ohhhhhh and what's the difference between 'hard' and 'light'....... You can go to sleep with the light on!!! |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: SINSULL Date: 09 Feb 09 - 08:33 AM GROAN! take my wife...please! |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Louie Roy Date: 09 Feb 09 - 02:24 PM The little boy going down the street with his teeny weeny wagon |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Bill D Date: 09 Feb 09 - 03:10 PM I haven't heard most of these for 50 years... and you missed "What's the difference between a woman running down the street and a sewing machine?" A sewing machine only has one bobbin. |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Don Firth Date: 09 Feb 09 - 04:53 PM What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and blue? A nun tripping and falling downstairs. Ba-dum-pum!! Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Ed T Date: 09 Feb 09 - 06:21 PM What's green, grows around a house and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels How do you get down off a horse? You don't you get down of a goose. |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Georgiansilver Date: 09 Feb 09 - 06:28 PM What has one wheel, flies and hums? A wheelbarrow of dung |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: GUEST,Dani Date: 09 Feb 09 - 07:30 PM Who catered the Last Supper? Judas Iscariot |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Louie Roy Date: 09 Feb 09 - 07:35 PM Whats black and white and red all over A Newspaper |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Joe_F Date: 09 Feb 09 - 08:45 PM What's the difference between a chambermaid in the daytime and at night? In the daytime she's fair & buxom. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God? If I could do that, I'd *be* God. St Peter, I'm bored. May I try Hell for a while? You're there. How many guacas are there in a guacamole? Avocadro's number. There's a hint of fall in the air. Don't talk with your mouth full. That is true, but it is not important. Importance is not important. Truth is. Masochist: Hurt me! Sadist: No. What has six eyes, but can't see? Three blind mice. Who was Aristotle's purple pupil? Alexander the grape. Why do so many people smoke after intercourse? Inadequate lubrication. I need a man who can say no to me when I talk nonsense. Are you that man? No. inanimate inaminute Sir, my heart belongs to another man. I have never aspired so high as that, Madam. |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: van lingle Date: 09 Feb 09 - 08:59 PM Buddhist goes up to a hot dog vendor a says make me one with everything. Dog walks into a bar and asks for a drink. Bartender says the toilet's down the hall to the left. What do you call a spiritual medium with really bad breath? A Supercaliforniapsyhicextrahalatosis. |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: van lingle Date: 09 Feb 09 - 09:01 PM "west coast spiritual..." Drat! |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Don Firth Date: 09 Feb 09 - 11:39 PM The kid in the paper hat hands Descartes his hamburger and says, "Do you want fries with that?" Descartes says, "I think not." And vanishes. Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Neil D Date: 10 Feb 09 - 01:50 AM Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked. |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Splott Man Date: 10 Feb 09 - 03:46 AM Two elephants fall off a cliff boom boom! |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: KEVINOAF Date: 10 Feb 09 - 05:25 AM the difference between a rottweiler & a woman with PMT? lipstick ---------------------------------------------------------------------- the difference between PMT&PLO? you may ger a chance of reasoning with thePLO ---------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Helen Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:10 AM Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says: Does this taste funny to you? Two fish are in a tank. One says: You drive and I'll man the guns. Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One says: Does this smell fishy to you? What happens when a duck flies upside down? It quacks up. Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup. Yes sir, it's the hot water that kills them. Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? It looks like the backstroke, sir. Waiter there's a fly in my soup. Yes sir, the chef used to be a tailor. Eye doctor to blonde: Have your eyes been checked before? Blonde: No, they've always been blue! I call these my "groan jokes". Helen |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Georgiansilver Date: 10 Feb 09 - 06:33 AM What about 'Waiter Waiter, there's a soup in my fly!!!!!!!!' |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: gnomad Date: 10 Feb 09 - 07:28 AM "Waiter, your thumb is in my soup!" "Don't worry Sir, it isn't very hot." |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Mickey191 Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:26 AM Skeleton walks into a bar.. Give me a beer and a mop. |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Don Firth Date: 10 Feb 09 - 01:50 PM A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke!??" Rim-shot! Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: bankley Date: 10 Feb 09 - 01:58 PM what do you call a musician who breaks up with his girlfriend ? homeless |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: lefthanded guitar Date: 10 Feb 09 - 08:19 PM What did the folksinger say when he won the $50 million dollar lottery? I'll just keep working til it's gone. |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Joe_F Date: 10 Feb 09 - 08:55 PM Doctor: Miss Dietrich, have you had a checkup recently? Marlene: No, just a couple of Hungarians. |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 10 Feb 09 - 09:24 PM Whaddaya call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick. ----- What did the fish say when he swam into a concrete wall? "Dam!" |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Don Firth Date: 10 Feb 09 - 10:04 PM Speaking of boomerangs: What's an Irish boomerang? Unlike other boomerangs, it never comes back. But it drinks a lot and sings sentimental songs about how much it wants to. Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: GUEST,wlisk Date: 12 Feb 09 - 09:52 AM What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with only 2 legs? Lean beef. A 3 legged dog walks into a bar and says "Alright which one of you guys shot my Pa?" |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: Mr Red Date: 12 Feb 09 - 11:13 AM Louie Roy Whats black and white and red all over A Newspaper that joke doesn't work on folkies younger than 40. I should know - because when I wear black & white and am asked why I say: "same Joke" - and you can't tell young people today.......... |
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Subject: RE: Req: Two line jokes...good ones! From: GUEST,Denzil Date: 12 Feb 09 - 11:33 AM What's the difference between a chiropodist and a bodhrán player? A chiropodist bucks up the feet and ... |
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