Lyr Req: The New-Style Crofter's Song (Christie)

Subject: Cottage in Skye
From:
Date: 02 Dec 01 - 12:50 PM

About 15 years ago in Edinburgh I heard a song about incomers wanting to buy a cottage in Skye. I only remember the chorus and part of a verse:

Chorus:
From Islington and Chelsea and from Kensington we come
We should like to buy a cottage here in Skye
With at least a hundred acres
And with views of Eigg and Rum
And seclusion for we're really rather shy

First verse:
The house must be authentic as a hebridean croft -
Central heating from the peats upon the fire
... forgotten ...
... forgotten ...
Fitted carpets in the stable and the byre.

Does it ring any bells with anyone?

Thanks,

Paul

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cottage in Skye
From: GUEST,Les/Manchester
Date: 02 Dec 01 - 01:49 PM

I don't know this song but it has a taste of Leon Rosselson about it

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cottage in Skye
From: Cairistiona
Date: 03 Dec 01 - 11:12 AM

Yes I have heard of this - it's really quite hilarious - I'll try and get the words for you. Even though I live on Skye it doesn't make a difference!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cottage in Skye
From:
Date: 04 Dec 01 - 12:40 AM

Ciamar a tha sibh an nochd, a Chairistiona.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cottage in Skye
From: Cairistiona
Date: 04 Dec 01 - 04:23 AM

Nach e saoghal a tha beag a Sheorais. Tha mi gle mhath tapa leat.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cottage in Skye
From:
Date: 02 Jan 02 - 05:22 PM

Has anyone managed to find the lyrics for this one?

Thanks,

Paul

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cottage in Skye
From:
Date: 02 Feb 02 - 08:26 AM

I'm still looking for the full lyrics for this song:

Chorus:
From Islington and Chelsea and from Kensington we come
We should like to buy a cottage here in Skye
With at least a hundred acres
And with views of Eigg and Rum
And seclusion for we're really rather shy

First verse:
The house must be authentic as a Hebridean croft -
Central heating from the peats upon the fire
... forgotten ...
... forgotten ...
Fitted carpets in the stable and the byre.

If anyone has come across this before and can fill in the blanks/other verses I'd be delighted to hear from them.

Thanks,

Paul Durrant

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 5-Feb-02.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cottage in Skye
From: GUEST,Philippa
Date: 02 Feb 02 - 10:23 AM

I've got it written down somewhere! will look.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cottage in Skye
From:
Date: 02 Mar 02 - 10:51 AM

I'm still looking for the full lyrics for this song:

Chorus: From Islington and Chelsea and from Kensington we come We should like to buy a cottage here in Skye With at least a hundred acres And with views of Eigg and Rum And seclusion for we're really rather shy

First verse: The house must be authentic as a Hebridean croft - Central heating from the peats upon the fire ... forgotten ... ... forgotten ... Fitted carpets in the stable and the byre.

If anyone has come across this before and can fill in the blanks/other verses I'd be delighted to hear from them.

Thanks,

Paul Durrant

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cottage in Skye
From: GUEST,Philippa
Date: 10 Mar 02 - 10:50 AM

I haven't forgotten, but one trawl through my clutter was not successful. So maybe someone else can provide the lyrics before I do. If not, I will get back here when I do find them. The tune I heard is the same as "Road to the Isles" (to be found in the Digital Tradition database at Mudcat)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cottage in Skye
From:
Date: 10 Mar 02 - 05:19 PM

Yes, the tune of Road to the Isles matches what I remember too. Thanks for taking the time to look for the lyrics.

Paul

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cottage in Skye
From:
Date: 18 May 02 - 02:52 PM

If anyone knows the lyrics for the song at the top of this thread, I'd really like to have a copy.

thanks,

Paul Durrant

Subject: Lyr Add: THE NEW-STYLE CROFTER'S SONG (Christie)
From: GUEST,Philippa
Date: 20 Jun 02 - 06:08 PM

THE NEW-STYLE CROFTER'S SONG
I M Christie (of Portree, Isle of Skye, Scotland)
tune "Road to the Isles"

All the way from Brighton, Kensington and Aldershot we've come,
And we want to buy a cottage here in Skye,
With at least a hundred acres and a view of Eigg and Rhum,
And seclusion, for we're really rather shy.

chorus Electricity and gas we want, with water from the mains,
Easy access from the nearest motorway,
With connections to the telephones and to the sewage drains,
And a Gaelic name that's not too hard to say!

The house must be authentic as a Hebridean croft,
Central heating from the peats upon the fire,
With the space for a solarium and sauna in the loft,
Fitted carpets in the stable and the byre.

To keep our poodles company, we'll breed Jersey cows and goats;
We'll make money selling buttermilk and cheese!
From the Highland Board we'll get a grant to make wee plastic boats;
And to titled friends we'll offer B and B's.

If it's going cheap, we'll buy and put a flagpole on the roof
Upon which whe'll hang a great big Union Jack
Which we hope will keep the natives in their place and give them proof
That old England's days of Empire have come back!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cottage in Skye
From:
Date: 20 Jun 02 - 06:14 PM

Wow!!! No wonder my Gaelic friends from Skye hadn't acknowledged knowing the song at all. Thanks, Philippa

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cottage in Skye
From:
Date: 21 Jun 02 - 03:56 AM

Very many thanks to Philippa for that. It's definitely the one I half remembered.

Paul

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cottage in Skye
From: Strupag
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 05:44 AM

As someone who moved into Skye myself, albiet from nothern shores, I would never comdemn the healthy importation of population to the Highlands.
We gain a lot of people who contribute greatly to the area and we see our community growing, new schools being built, better jobs being made available, swimming pools and sports centres being built. The list goes on and on.
I woulde be a liar if I didn't say that that song has a wry ring of truth to it. It describes a minority but high profile type incomer.
It's not just a Skye thing. Listen to Dougie MacLeans song Homeland. http://home.wish.net/~nisto/homeland.htm
The problem exists in Perthshire and I'm sure It also happens all over the world.
I did find the song hillarious but the, now defunct, Radio Highland used to play it to death and I thing we all just got bored hearing it every week on the requests show.
Anyway I'm now off to the Pier Hotel for a pint with my mate from Kent who is learning gaelic!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The New-Style Crofter's Song (Christie)
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Oct 21 - 11:15 AM

This is it as Ian wrote it - any errors will be very minor. I'm about certain that the "If it's going cheap ..." verse is a later addition. Ian's satire was very clever, not crude.

The New Style Crofters Song

From Brighton and from Kensington and Aldershot we've come,
And we want to buy a cottage here in Skye,
With at least a hundred acres and a view of Eigg and Rhum,
And seclusion, for we're really rather shy.

Electricity and gas we want, and water from the mains,
Easy access from the nearest motorway,
With connections to the telephones and to the sewage drains,
And a Gaelic name that's not too hard to say!

The house must be authentic as a Hebridean croft,
Central heating from the peats upon the fire,
With the space for a solarium and sauna in the loft,
Fitted carpets in the stable and the byre.

Electricity and gas we want, and water from the mains,


We'll arrange to have it surveyed for an architect's report
That there's a damp-proof course below the hardwood floor,
That the walls are made of granite and the windows not too short,
And that there's double mortice locks upon each door.

Electricity and gas we want, and water from the mains,

To keep our poodles company, we'll breed Jersey cows and goats;
We'll make money selling buttermilk and cheese;
From the Highland Board we'll get a grant to make wee plastic boats
And to titled friends we'll offer B and B's.

Electricity and gas we want, and water from the mains,