Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: SharonA Date: 23 Aug 02 - 10:07 AM Oooh! A "Good on Ya" from our good Áine! And a Cow Chip Award with a silverplated spittoon, too – WOW! Thank you!!! (That does it; I'm gonna have to get a virtual display case for these thangs – I'm out of room on the virtual mantel!) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Áine Date: 22 Aug 02 - 06:07 PM You are absolutely bloomin' right, there, Sonja!!! Not only is SharonA awarded a chip, but also a Golden TGG 'Good On Ya'!! for a better late than never (and it's never too late for a Challenge! Song) entry: Here ya go, SharonA, cudos and muchas gracias for this gem: Winner Of The Golden Cow Chip Award With Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon (The GCCWMMSPS is awarded to the Challenge! entry which evokes an instantaneous bubbling up of frothy mirth from out of the lips of the Keeper of the Book and onto her monitor screen): Do You See What I'll Be? by SharonA Yee-Haw!! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 22 Aug 02 - 02:02 AM I think Sharon deserves a Cow Chip (kinda appropriate for this Song Challenge!, don't you think?) for that last masterpiece. Right, Aine? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Genie Date: 19 Aug 02 - 03:27 PM Grrroannnnn, Wolfgang! ¤;-) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Wolfgang Date: 19 Aug 02 - 09:46 AM May I add that among skeptics what Mr. Buck offers is called asstrology. Wolfgang |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Genie Date: 22 Jul 02 - 10:04 AM Well worth the wait, Sharon. "The guileless pile quivered where the bold,..." Got a good belly laugh outa that one! Genie |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: SharonA Date: 22 Jul 02 - 08:46 AM I agree, Genie, but I suppose our modest GG won't give it to herself. Ya think we can collectively convince her to take it, just this once? Anyway, thanks so much for the Harp-Chip, Áine! I wasn't able to punch, pull and prod the following song in time to be "in the moment" (or, at least, in time to go to the library on Saturday and submit the song!), but here 'tis, a little bit late, a Christmas song in July. My biggest dilemma with this parody was finding a word that sounded vaguely like "shepherd boy"....*G* DO YOU SEE WHAT I'LL BE? (Tune: "Do You Hear What I Hear?" – the Christmas classic – word and music by: Gloria Shayne Baker/ Noel Regney) Said the white skin to the twiddlin' hand, "Do you see what I'll be? 'Way above my thigh, twiddlin' hand, Do you see what I'll be? So far, you are prancing with delight. Is your braille-ass gig second sight? Will some male ass dig mine tonight?" Said the twiddlin' hand to the hemorrhoid, "Do you fear when I'm near, Stinging when I'm nigh, hemorrhoid? Do you fear when I'm near? What's wrong? A thong, high above the knees! It annoys your big ass, I see. It annoys your big ass, and me." Said the hemorrhoid, "Do your sightless thing, Do, and know what eyes know With your callus firm, sightless thing. Do, and know where I'll go." The guileless pile quivered where the bold, Seeking fingers its fate foretold, Where the fingers its fate foretold. Said the fingers, "O dimpled derriere, Kissin' someone's ass may Pay our fees, dimpled derriere. Kissin' your white ass? Nay, Not while the pile peeping from your tight Butt will bring no good sex. That's right, I predict no good sex tonight!" (Big finish, with chorus) "Not tooo - niiiiiiiiiiiight!" |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Genie Date: 20 Jul 02 - 10:14 PM Whoa, there, gal! Awright, fo'ks, dontch think TGG deserves a great big Golden Cow Chip with Doo-Lyn Ditty Digger Decoration for "The Bare Bums of Meldorf?" Whaddya say, kids?
Genie §:-D |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Áine Date: 20 Jul 02 - 06:51 PM Well, my darlin' Challenge!rs -- it appears that we have punched, pulled and prodded (ouch!) all the entries from this Challenge! that are possible in this moment of 'Cat space . . . So, with cudos, congrats and a tip of my hat to each of you, here are your Chips -- Enjoy!! -- Áine
Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song): |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Deda Date: 20 Jul 02 - 04:23 PM Well, I'm much more generously endowed above, in terms of size, than behind -- and rounder than Amos in general -- but that never seems to hinder his worshipful songs in praise of the golden globes, hymns to the overflowing cups. I'm at a loss to explain his non-entry. I thought it might be time pressures, since he's just back from the NW Pacific gig, but he can whip out song lyrics faster than I can burn toast. 'Tis puzzlement. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Amos Date: 20 Jul 02 - 02:44 PM Nah -- this one's too close to home for my talents, Genie! :>) I've been the butt of too many jokes to let my feelings show!! :>) Deda carries the torch pour la famille. She's got the profundity required for this kind of work! She's better cut out for it than I am!! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Áine Date: 20 Jul 02 - 01:41 PM Here's a couple of B.L.O.B.s to the fantastic Sonja -- well done, girlfried! -- for: Some seers read the cards or tea leaves; You read the lines where I'm not tanned. So, do your duty-- Tickle my booty, Liberace to my 'baby grand.' And for a 'can-do' attitude in: Yes, I can see clearly now I've read your bum. A can-deciph'ring oracle, that's my way. Don't be embarrassed, Liebschen--I am blind. Gotta read your tight, (tight), tight (tight) young heine, eh? Way to go, Challenge!rs!! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Genie Date: 20 Jul 02 - 05:20 AM Amos, you gonna let your sis outdo you on this one? Surely you've got a few choice lines in the can for this one, don't you? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: SharonA Date: 19 Jul 02 - 08:44 AM (I've got another one in the works; hopefully I can wrap it up tonight and post it tomorrow. Here's a hint to the melody: it's Christmas in July...) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Genie Date: 18 Jul 02 - 05:21 PM Now that I've allowed myself to read the earlier submissions (which I try not to do until I've worked my own for a while), let me say there are, as usual, some real gems there! Aidan, you do know how to spin a yarn with a wry twist, don't you! Nothin' like a couple of sweet love stories! MMario, what a chantey! Don, John Ashcroft is gonna have th' ol' FBI start a file on you for desecrating our national anthem (if you're a Yank, that is). Great limerick, McGrath! Alex, "Acres Of Hair?" (Groannnn...) I don't know how I missed that gem of yours! Good job, Deda! LM(unread)AO!, all you folks! Genie |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 18 Jul 02 - 04:42 PM I See Your Future, Now I've Read Your Bum Parody lyrics by Sonja W. Oates © 2002 I see your future, now I've read your bum. I think I can feel it, now your pants are gone-- Dr. Ulf Yes, I can see clearly now I've read your bum. SWO BTW, Amos, glad you liked the "Liberace" line and the Tammy Wynette parody. ;-) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 18 Jul 02 - 01:29 PM Thanks! Now I'm waiting for someone to do those great hits from the Rock Opera "Tommy," "Touch Me, Feel Me, Channel Me" and "Butt-cheek Wizard." (It'll have to be someone else, since I don't know the original songs very well.) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Amos Date: 18 Jul 02 - 10:41 AM LOL, Sonja -- it's a keeper!! Liberace to my baby grand, indeed!! LOL! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: SharonA Date: 18 Jul 02 - 09:24 AM "scanned by your hands" – groannnn – "Doing things that Boston law has banned" – hee hee hee!!! Sonja, this is like being tickled till ya can't breathe... let me up for air, then I'll read it again! Hoo hoo ha ha ha... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 18 Jul 02 - 01:40 AM Scanned By Your Hands Parody of Stand By Your Man by Tammy Wynette and Billy Sherrill New lyrics by Sonja W. Oates Sometimes its hard to be uncertain, "Butts tell the future," Dr. Buck says, CHORUS Some seers read the cards or tea leaves; Butt reading probes tomorrow's borders, CHORUS |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Áine Date: 18 Jul 02 - 12:35 AM Here ya go, Deda my darlin', your B.L.O.B. for: He said the time was right for me to find true love, He saw alignment of the stars above, through his glove --- -- Áine
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Amos Date: 17 Jul 02 - 11:51 PM LOL, Sis!! Somone go get the harmonica player!! Great stufff!! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Deda Date: 17 Jul 02 - 11:43 PM Whoops -- the line breaks didn't copy. Sorry. Here it is with them inserted:
He didn't have to read my palms ,
I went to Hamburg one fine day
He said the sun would shine for me from this day forth,
He didn't have to read my palm
He said good friends and wealth would come to me real soon,
His prices seemed a little high
He said I'd marry me a millionaire duplicate post deleted by mudelf ;-) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: MMario Date: 17 Jul 02 - 11:14 PM TGG pretty much a cutie already seems to me. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Áine Date: 17 Jul 02 - 10:14 PM Uh, Brother Amos, on my 'puter, you gotta do a 'ampersand - A - acute - semicolon -ine' to get Áine . . . leastways, that's the way I've been doing it around here for 4 years or so . . . ;-) -- TGG (a/k/a She Who Shall Be Acuted One Day) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Amos Date: 17 Jul 02 - 09:39 PM çedilla? I thought ya had to go around and do the A-acute-ampersand-semicolon-ine to get anywhere with ya!! :>) A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Áine Date: 17 Jul 02 - 09:10 PM 'Cuz that's my name . . . I think you've done something to your html mapping somewhere. On my computer, when you type my name, the first letter is a 'c' with a squiggle underneath it. I think that the Mudelf is changing it into 'normal' html . . . ;-) -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Genie Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:08 PM Áine, girl, whazzup wid yer 'pewter? Ya keeps turnin' into Áine. Howz come? ©Ž–'' |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Áine Date: 17 Jul 02 - 05:46 PM Ah shoot, SharonA, you had to go and use one of my best belov-ed golden oldie tunes for your parody -- fantastic! . . . Looks like you'll have to make room on your virtual mantel for a Silver B.L.O.B. for: "So bend down and turn around and don't be a fink," He said, "I'm gonna feel you up. Your future is pink! You'll get a third of what I make. I'll give you a mink..." I held his wrist. I cuffed his ass. He's in the clink! Whoo-whee -- purty darn fine there, girlfriend! ;-) And a big snug and hog to Amos for my most honorable mention, too. ;-) -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Amos Date: 17 Jul 02 - 03:57 PM As the official Depiddy Dawg I decree a A Blob Argent with Guiness Rampant for the GG's own talent:
For years I'd been dealing with the Miser of Mencken And for the brazen effrontery of following through on ewe-know-what!!! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Genie Date: 17 Jul 02 - 02:05 PM LMAO, Sharon! Genie |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Amos Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:39 AM WOW!, A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: SharonA Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:24 AM Ha ha ha ha!! These songs are great!!! Bravo, everyone. Awrightee, here's the one I started yesterday... A FORTUNE FROM BEHIND (Tune: "Love Potion Number Nine" by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller) Pronunciation Guide: Ideally, "fortune" should be pronounced "FO-chun" ;^) I took my two buns down to Meister Ulf – You know, that German with the guide-dog wolf – He's got a fad, now; I heard he paws 'em blind, Tellin' kids his fondles tell A fortune from behind. I told him that I was a cop. His fix Of skin's against the law, so nix his tricks! I wrote out a ticket and said, "Just read this!" "Nein," He said, "All I read is A fortune from behind. "So bend down and turn around and don't be a fink," He said, "I'm gonna feel you up. Your future is pink! You'll get a third of what I make. I'll give you a mink..." I held his wrist. I cuffed his ass. He's in the clink! He'll never go out in the daytime light. I doubt he's missing Meldorf's bums tonight 'Cause when he pissed this cop off who'd heard he paws 'em blind, The pokey's where I thought he'll have A fortune from behind A fortune from behind A fortune from be-hi-yi-yi-yi-yinnnnd! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Amos Date: 17 Jul 02 - 01:05 AM A SIlver BLOB to the Goddess !! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Genie Date: 17 Jul 02 - 12:34 AM Áine, thanks for the B.L.O.B. But (no pun intended), that song of yours was ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-ad! ¤;-D |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Áine Date: 17 Jul 02 - 12:12 AM Oooooh, more B.L.O.B. candidates!! Here ya go, then: To mousethief for: I was nervous as you can imagine T'have this stranger touch my derriere Then he said, "Ach mein Lieber! It's yoost like The hair on the back of a bear!" And to Sonja for: Feeling your bum again, Nothing vile or rude-- Hey, I'm a doctor, dude, It's my calling! Bravo and Brava, respectively!! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Áine Date: 16 Jul 02 - 10:23 PM The Bare Bums Of Meldorf (Tune: The Streets Of Laredo) As I herded my sheep down the streets of old Meldorf, I spied a small sign, 'Buck Reads Bare Bums,' it said, My red, trail-worn cheeks, they parted in laughter, A bright idea shooting straight up to my head. For years I'd been dealing with the Miser of Mencken, A burg just a few twists and turns down the road, And tired of his cheatin' and beatin' my price down, I thought of a way to drain his motherlode. The dogs heard my whistle, and going to work, They halted the flock just outside the Bucks' door, With a ewe in each arm, I bravely strode forward, And soon we were standing on the living room floor. I have to say here, that old Ulf is a nice man, With smooth and warm hands, and a beautiful wife, Though laughed at by some, his fervant endeavour, Is to help all his clients lead a well and full life. In the space of an hour, three bums bared and well read, Myself and my flock, we were back on the trail, And as we traversed up the mountain to Mencken, I tried to ponder my fate, but to no avail. No more did that miser cheat me out of money, That Ulf Buck of Meldorf, he changed my whole life, Of all of the futures he's read, mine's the strangest, For now I am rich with a be-ewe-ti-ful wife! (insert sheepish grin here . . .) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 16 Jul 02 - 10:04 PM Dunno, Sins, I guess ya have to ask Dr. Ulf. ;-) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Amos Date: 16 Jul 02 - 08:42 PM Just aft of the heart line, I believe! :>) A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: SINSULL Date: 16 Jul 02 - 08:09 PM And where exactly is my lifeline????? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 16 Jul 02 - 06:51 PM Feeling Your Bum Again Lyrics: Sonja W. Oates ©2002; parody of Falling In Love Again Feeling your bum again, Clairvoyance is my game, Some say that folks wear their hearts upon their sleeves, Feeling your bum again, Falling In Love Again - (sung by Marlene Dietrich) Falling in love again, Love's always been my game, Men cluster to me like moths around a flame, Falling in love again, ~SWO~ |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: mousethief Date: 16 Jul 02 - 06:33 PM The Old Prognosticator (tune: The Old Settler/Acres of Clams)
I've traveled all over this planet
First I thought he was some kind of pervert
So I went down to Hamburg to meet him
Then she led me into a small chamber
I was nervous as you can imagine
Well I left in a huff, let me tell you
And then would you believe in a fortnight Copyright ©2002 Alex E Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Áine Date: 16 Jul 02 - 05:08 PM Well dang, y'all! And here I was worried when nobody had 'answered the call' for a few hours yesterday . . . but, my faith has been restored!! I knew you'd like this one ;-) So, without further ah-doo, here are your B.L.O.B.s -- -- Áine
To derrymacash for:
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: SharonA Date: 16 Jul 02 - 04:45 PM I took my two buns down to Meister Ulf You know, that German with the guide-dog wolf. He's got a fad now; I heard he paws behinds... More later! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 16 Jul 02 - 04:32 PM I've got a little behind with me work, I've been slaving away like a Turk, When I fondle each bum I find what is to come, Just a little behind with me work.
A little behind, I'll confess
A little behind, or perhaps
A little behind or a lot, |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 16 Jul 02 - 04:22 PM LOL, MMario! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: MMario Date: 16 Jul 02 - 04:13 PM HAMBURG/DERRY-AIRE
"Oh Heinrich lad, your fate, your fate is calling
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: Genie Date: 16 Jul 02 - 04:00 PM Well, somebody's gotta do that classic Beatles song: "I Wanna Feel Your Can." This would also be a good time for a parody of the Danny Boy parody "London Derriere." "Hamburg Derriere," maybe? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: MMario Date: 16 Jul 02 - 03:49 PM You must be coming at it from the wrong direction Alex.
oh my - did I actually type that? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 85 From: mousethief Date: 16 Jul 02 - 03:47 PM Okay, I read everybody else's songs finally (I didn't want to be "influenced" -- silly, I know). Great stuff, everybody! Genie, you're a wizard, as always. Derrymacash, simply awe-inspiring! "Information overload," indeed! Mmario and DonD, very nice also! I'm simply delighted the song challenge! is back. :) Alex |
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