BS: sack the milkman?

Subject: BS: sack the milkman?
From: GUEST,Alex
Date: 05 Jan 03 - 12:17 PM

i am getting fed up with having to close the gate after the milkman (milklady but what does it matter) and am thinking of replacing her. what are the chances of the replacement being any better/ Is it just a natural milkman thing to not do ?
I have left her notes to this effect but with no improvement.
what advice have you all?

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: GUEST,arnie
Date: 05 Jan 03 - 12:19 PM

After our milk got nicked off the doorstep for the second time I got rid of the milkman and started buying it at the local supermarket. Providing you remember to buy enough at a time it is a lot cheaper and no-one's going to leave your gate open!

Arnie

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: GUEST,alex
Date: 05 Jan 03 - 12:25 PM

i would like to maintain a doorstep delivery i live in a rural area and prefer the local business getting the profit rather than the multinational
Alex

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: Tweed
Date: 05 Jan 03 - 12:33 PM

I see two solutions here and both of them would be very effective and satisfactory to all parties.
1.Keep the milklady and get rid of the gate.
2.Buy a cow and keep the gate locked or possibly welded shut if it's a metal one.

Next problem...who's got #83 please? #84?....#85....?

Yerz,
Tweed (ducking milkbottles and six paks of eggs)

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 05 Jan 03 - 12:42 PM

How about a pulley whichamajig where she doesn't have to open the gate at all?

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 03 - 12:50 PM

Any hardware store will provide you with a spring-driven gate closer for a reaosnable cost.

Tweed, I have number 88: How can I resurrect the past spirit of the Mudcat??

A

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Jan 03 - 12:51 PM

You could always ask her to close the gate, in person, and tell her that if she doesn't you'll find someone else.

Alternatively, you could worry about more important things.

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: Tweed
Date: 05 Jan 03 - 01:03 PM

Please wait yore turn Amos as I'm currently busy with #87, a Mrs.Effington. She says the neighbor's dogs bark and howl in the evening disrupting her opera lessons. I won't be a minute.

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 05 Jan 03 - 01:28 PM

Be glad you've still got a doorstep delivery. And if you've got a choice of people doing it, you are unusually lucky.

If I was her I'd probably think that my responsibilities ended with leaving it at the gate, and that if I actually brought it through to your front door I'd be doing you a special favour.

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Jan 03 - 02:47 PM

Will it really disrupt the pattern of the universe if the gate is left open? If you have an animal that will escape or animal intruders (we used to have heifers and a Shire horse eating our garden if we didn't) if it left open, then OK, put a sign (available at most hardware stores) saying please shut the gate... if not, then what the heck....

If you really don't like to see the untidy gate swinging in the breeze, letting the fresh air blow through, then get a spring closer as mentioned above.

Now someone find a song about it and everyone will be happy.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 03 - 04:12 PM

How about that old favorite, "Gimme that Whine"??

A

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Jan 03 - 10:05 PM

We haven't had milkpersons(being very PC) in Sydney for many a long year, so I think you are very lucky. Maybe it's difficult for them to close it if they have their hands full. In any event, if it bothers you that much, get the spring driven gate, and do everybody a favour.

(working on a song)

Jenny

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jan 03 - 10:17 PM

My advice would be for you to write a song about it or hang yourself with a thin wire rope. Either of these options would benefit the general population.

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 05 Jan 03 - 10:17 PM

You could start to drink soy or almond milk. Thay sell machines to make your own. Heart-y and healthy for you too.
Oh Tweed, was it still your turn?
Rustic

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 06 Jan 03 - 02:45 AM

While the milkman is delivering your moo, hop into his milktruck! I'm sure he left the engine running, and the door open... See how well it handles the speed bumps and corners at high speed... make sure the brakes work well with the 'sudden stop' test... into your neighbors elm. Lose the keys. Say "have a nice day!" with your spray paint across the back... Slash the tires... Throw your gate through the windshield... Then calmly go about your buisness with the fresh milk on your porch. ;-}

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: Hrothgar
Date: 06 Jan 03 - 04:06 AM

I've been had up once for rabbits,
It's proceedings that I hate;
I'll be had up next for murder
If you don't shut this bloody gate!

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: GUEST,alex
Date: 06 Jan 03 - 04:10 AM

Thanks for all suggestions
Even scarier (more scary?) is that I think she could be a `catter. This morning, I went out with the dogs (so they wouldn`t escape) and the gate was closed.
I have never heard her whistle though.

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: Tweed
Date: 06 Jan 03 - 06:55 AM

Good Lord man, you have howling dogs? Is there a Mrs.Effington living on either side of you guest,alex? It turns out that it's been HER all along who's been leaving the gate open. Keep an eye on her as she's a large, refined and fairly vicious woman who in addition to singing opera in the parlor, carries a cookbook entitled "To Serve Man" with her everwhere!!
Take what you can carry and get out while there's still time!

Yerz,
Tweed

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Jan 03 - 07:06 AM

You could also put a spring on the gate so that it's 'self shutting'

Subject: RE: BS: sack the milkman?
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 06 Jan 03 - 08:13 AM

If you stop having the milk delivered, you'll probably have to feed the dogs more meat !