Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)

Subject: RE: ADD: Humoresque (various versions)
From: Joe_F
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 08:12 PM

Persons working underneath
Will get it in their hair and teeth.

Fortunately, I have never heard the rest of that stanza.

Subject: RE: ADD: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST,Stuarticus Maximus
Date: 30 Mar 10 - 07:51 PM

Passengers will please refrain
from passing water while the train
is standing in the station to refuel.
Those who feel they must pass water
would they kindly ask the porter
for the bucket in the vestibule.

Subject: RE: ADD: Humoresque (various versions)
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 30 Mar 10 - 11:26 PM

Two friends of mine at Cambridge in the early 50s, Neil Morris & Tony Davis [both of Downing College], composed this additional aposiopetic ½-stanza, ending with a harmonic la-laa-la:~

Please refrain from masturbating
While the train's in station waiting,
Spunk may fall upon the man beneath
~~~ Plate-laaaying···

Subject: RE: ADD: Humoresque (various versions)
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 31 Mar 10 - 09:58 PM

r

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST,John
Date: 07 Jan 12 - 03:57 PM

Something triggered in my head this morning and I thought of this song....and it's been going around in my head ever since.

Imagine my surprise that so many of you friends remembered it too.
I "googled" Parody lyrics to the tune of Humoresque and all of this came up.
Thanks for all the comments. Isn't the internet great?!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Feb 12 - 06:02 PM

Every night after dark
I'd goose the statues
In the park.
If Sherman's horse can
take it, why can't you?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 01 Feb 12 - 09:11 PM

Probably posted before, but:

Nothing looks much better than
A young girl in a sweater but
The sweater may not be
What it appears.

Boys, it's recommended
That you see what's in the sweater
Or your wedding night might
End in bitter tears.

(Attributed to Oscar Wilde in one source, but other sources differ.)

John

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST,marilyn
Date: 07 Feb 12 - 10:14 PM

I remember some of the Lyrics to Humoreque. It goes something like this-- over the stars are beaming through the dusty clouds are gleaming with a tender message in her eyes   or something like that. I wish I could get that record. It has been something like 50 years ago that they use to play that on the radio. I always loved that song.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: Lighter
Date: 08 Feb 12 - 11:01 AM

More like Brand than Wilde.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 08 Feb 12 - 04:25 PM

Does anyone remember that the tune is a variation on Swanee River?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Sep 12 - 01:15 PM

If you have to pass some water,
Ask the porter for a blotter....

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST,Raymondi
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 02:08 PM

If your daughter has to water
Ask the porter for a blotter
Throw it out the window when she's through(done?)

Anybody know the rest of this?
Heard it as a kid about 1960 AD.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: kendall
Date: 28 Feb 13 - 02:30 PM

Then there was...Mabel Mabel fresh and able, get your big ass off the table, go on out and find yourself a man...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: Mr Happy
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 05:20 AM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Train_toilet

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Mar 14 - 11:02 AM

I know these lyrics are hilarious, but doesn't anyone have the words that are something about a humoresque and then the next line is something about 'my arabesque'. I would be so grateful for any help. We had this sheet music when I was a girl and my mother would play it on the piano while we sang. Then she just got rid of it all; piano, all the sheet music. I don't know why.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Mar 14 - 11:17 AM

Marilyn,

I have a couple of words - something about Humoresque and the next line is something ' my arabesque'.

Does this call anything to mind? I have been looking for the words for ages.

[e-mail]

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: Joe_F
Date: 02 Mar 14 - 08:17 PM

I once heard a version celebrating the song itself, containing the line
So picturesque and yet grotesque.
That's all I remember.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 14 Oct 14 - 12:31 PM

You must practice constipation
Whilst the train is in the station
So as not to crap upon the line
Hobos lying underneath
Will get it in their hair & teeth
And the outlook for them won't be very fine.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jan 16 - 04:20 PM

My mother (born in 1919) taught me the first verse. Three others I got from ... I forget, but possibly Oscar Brand's Bawdy Songs. I just read a piece on the New Yorker website about gendered bathrooms, and thought of the verse that I sometimes quote, especially when liberating a men's room, which I have done a few times:

If the women's room is taken
Do not feel at all forsaken,
Never show a sign of sad defeat,
Try the men's room 'cross the hall
And if a man should have the call
He'll courteously relinquish you his seat.

As for the tune, Dvorak's "Humoresque," a century ago everyone knew it, and anyone who played the piano could play it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions)
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jan 16 - 07:43 AM

Just spent 30 minutes ( not a penny!)on here.... Radio 3 have just played Humoresque.....
I only knew one verse until now...
Don't relieve your constipation
While the train is in the station
Do not leave a mess upon the floor'

probably remembered from the early 60s from a work colleague who had been in the Army in World War 2...

Subject: Lyr Add: COUSIN JOHN AND COUSIN MABEL (Homer&Jethr
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 22 May 16 - 11:09 PM

COUSIN JOHN AND COUSIN MABEL
Words by Cy Coben; tune: "Humoresque"
As recorded by Homer & Jethro on "Cornfucius Say" (1964)

Cousin John and Cousin Mabel
Wanted kids but weren't able.
John went to a doctor who told him:
"Eat lots o' seafood for a year."
John made that seafood disappear.
It did no good but you should see him swim.

Mabel said: "The fault is mine.
I think that it's adoption time."
And soon a bundle she was holdin' tight.
She cuddled it and kitchy-cooed
While John would just set there and brood.
He'd have to walk that little dog at night.

Mabel was ugly.
She was so ugly,
She fell down the stairs and it improved her looks a lot.
John called her kitten.
She must have been a kitten.
Folks would look at her and say: "Boy, what a puss she's got!"

Mabel bought her John a present.
She knew he like huntin' pheasant.
She bought a bird dog with a shaggy coat.
Now John's mad at her, I hear.
He's had that bird dog for a year,
And that bird dog hasn't sung a note.

Cousin John bought Cousin Mabel
A fur coat he said was sable.
She was proud when he gave it to her.
Now his life's not worth a dime.
Cats walk behind her all the time
Carryin' signs that read: "You murderer!"

Mabel kept rabbits
Right in their bedroom.
Poor John took to sleepin' with a clothespin on his snout.
He'd open the window
And let fresh air in,
But if he did that, then all his pigeons would fly out.

Marriage is like jail, no doubt:
Getting' in's not hard, it's a-getting' out.
Sometimes I think it shouldn't be allowed.
Take John and Mabel's friendly tip:
Marriage can spoil a good friendship.
After the wedding you may find that two's a crowd.