Lyr Req: D.I.V.O.R.C.E. (parody by Billy Connolly)

Subject: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: Gareth
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 06:44 PM

Came up in the "Royal Oak" tonight - I recall a Billy Connally parody to D I V O R C E -

A snatch is
"Our little dog is Six years old,
And smarter than any damn Kid,
When you mention the V E T,
He damn near flips his lid. "

A search of the Mudcat returns now't - any thoughts or sources for the word's ???

Gareth

Subject: Lyr Add: D.I.V.O.R.C.E. (parody by Billy Connolly)
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 07:32 PM

D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
(parody by Billy Connolly)

Our little dog is six years old, and he's smart as any damn kid.
But when you mention the V.E.T. he damn near flips his lid.
Words like S.H.O.T. shot or W.O.R.M. worm,
These are words which make him S.Q.U.I.R.M. squirm.

His Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E starts today,
Because he bit the V.E.T. and then he ran away.
He caused me and my wife to have a big fight, and then, both of them bit me.
And that's why I am gonna get a D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

She shouted "get him Rover," and he jumped over, and bit my L.E.G.
She sank her teeth in my B.U.M. and called me an effin C.
Well I'm telling you, that was my cue, to get O.F.F.-ski
And I'm going down to the town tonight to get a new B.I.R.D.

Oh his Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E starts today.
Both my wife and my wee scabby dog will soon be hauled away.
That's why I spell out all these words, so as my dog can't hear.
Oh I must admit that dog is acting Q.U.E.E.R. queer.

Oh, I must admit that dog is acting Q.U.E.E.R. queer.


Murray

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 08:44 PM

Another one goes:

The b-u-t-c-h-e-r is comming today
And soon our little p-i-g will be going away

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: Gareth
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 04:52 AM

Thanks Murray MacLeod, superb.

Gareth

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: GUEST,weerover
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 05:08 AM

This is perhaps the most parodied song I know of in terms of generations: Ian Mackintosh used to sing a song with a similar theme called "B-A-C-O-N and E-G-Gs" which he said was the inspiration for the Dolly Parton song which Connolly parodied. Eric Bogle in turn wrote a further generation called "The Budgie Song" and was in his turn parodied at least once that I know of by a folk club organiser.

wr

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: Snuffy
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 09:13 AM

Not forgetting Les Barker's L-L-A-N-F-A-I-R-P-W-L-L-G-W-Y-N etc

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: Gareth
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 09:52 AM

Yer mean this Snuffy ?

"Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch"

Gareth

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: Snuffy
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 12:34 PM

But Les spells it "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlllantisiliogogogoch"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: Gareth
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 02:18 PM

The problem is not how to spell it, but when to stop spelling it

G

*BG*

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: Snuffy
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 07:35 PM

I thought that was the Italian film director, Antonioni

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: GUEST,JohnB
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 10:55 AM

I remember many years ago on Anglesey, trying to find the place on a map. Eventually we went to LPG. guess where we were. Meanwhile back on the subject, somewhere I Have a really old cassette tape of a radio programme with QUARANTINE on it.
JohnB

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: LadyJean
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 11:32 PM

The song ends with the inimitable Mr. Connelly singing that his dog is acting "Q-U-I-R Queer."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 02:47 PM

There was yet another parody, either by Billy Connolly, or of Billy (possibly The Barron Knights) which I'm not sure if I remember in full, but it may jog a memory:

My D.O.G.G.I.E. dog, is a P.O.O.F. Poof,
He doesn't B.A.R.K. bark,He goes W.O.O.F. "Woof"
When he passes a T.R.E.E. tree, I think that he's forgot.
He doesn't cock his L.E.G., But he'll S.Q.O.T. squat

Nigel

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 03:32 PM

Snuffy:
Gareth's right, the full name for Llanfair PG has "chwyrndrobwllllantysilio" in it, I almost made the error of saying it had a group of 4'l's together, but that would have been wrong !
Good catch question for a Welshman, how many times does the letter 'L' appear in "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch"
The answer, strange as it may seem is only once. All the other apparent appearences are actually of the Welsh letter 'Ll'.

Cheers

Nigel

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: Snuffy
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 08:19 PM

Nigel, I was not attempting to correct Gareth, merely pointing out that Les Barker has taken a bit of poetic licence with his cymric orthography!

But I still sing it the way he wrote it.

WassaiL! V

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 09:11 PM

Totally unrelated, are you lot by chance the Welsh Gareth and the Scot Nigel who were at Ballyvaughan in February?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 06 Jul 03 - 04:23 AM

Nope, I'm definitely Welsh

Nigel

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: Gareth
Date: 06 Jul 03 - 05:29 AM

Nope, He is defenitely Welsh

Gareth

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 08:45 AM

Is it this guy you're talking about:

Billy Connolly, born 1942, Glasgow, Scotland, actor, standup comedian, writer and performer of comical songs?

I ask because there are several ways to spell Connolly (Connely, Connally)--many of them seen in this very thread!--and I thought there might be more than one.

Now, has the song been recorded? Anyone care to guess which album? And the exact title of the parody? (I assume he wouldn't title it exactly the same as the Dottie West/Tammy Wynette/Dolly Parton hit.)

This site says it's 'from the LP "Classic Connolly in Words and Music" ' , but AMG, which is usually very thorough, lists no such album. It does however, list "Classic Connolly" and "Words and Music." There is a track list for "Classic Connolly" but it doesn't include this song (apparently). There is no track list for "Words and Music."

By the way, Sheb Wooley recorded the same song under the title "D-I-V-O-R-C-E No. 2." It appears on his album "22 Greatest Hits." Sound samples are available at Barnes&Noble and at Yahoo! Shopping > Music.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: DIVORCE Parody Billy Connely - VET & Dog
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 01:27 PM

Jim Dixon:Don't know about an album (LP) but it is the right Billy Connolly,
"D.I.V.O.R.C.E." got Billy to No.1 in the British singles chart in Nov 1975. The record number was "Polydor 2058 652"

Hope this helps

Nigel