BS: Where are my nuts?

Subject: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 07:27 AM

One of my favourite activities at this time of year is to sit down with a nutcracker and a drink and crack open some brazils but where are they this year - noone seems to have them. All the other nuts are there but no brazils - any ideas why?

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: GUEST,T-boy
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 07:57 AM

There was a story in the papers. Something to do with them not passing new EU toxin regulations.

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 07:57 AM

Spaw!!!! Oh Spaw!!!!! Mrs. Duck needs you. But wear a cup. She's armed.

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 08:08 AM

That's the sort of question McFat might ask - I shouldn't think that he seen his (without a mirror) for a long time - do they even bother about those sort of details for holograms anyway ?   :-)

I gather that there is some concern that virtually all of the crop is eaten and very few nuts are replanted to provide new trees. A report that I heard said that if things don't change soon, there could be very few brazil nut trees around in 10 years.

There are many natural foodstuffs (ie carrots) which contain levels of toxins which would not be permitted in more processed products.

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 08:58 AM

"Killer carrots" - this world is getting a little too scary.

Where are me nuts, me jolly jolly nuts?
They say they've been banned because of toxin,
I sit and I weep, for me life's not worth a peep,
Cos me nuts were all helped me keep me socks on...

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 09:13 AM

See the report at this link

Brazil nuts are not a domesticated crop - attempts to cultivate them have evidently always failed.

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: harpgirl
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 09:29 AM

For your information, Mrs. Duck, in Ohio they are called "shriveled buckeyes!"

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 10:12 AM

Actually they are monstrous Harpster......It's just that by comparison to their companion and overseer, Mr. Johnson, they look much smaller.

BTW.......Somehow and for some reason, this thread makes me think of a condom machine I was looking at as I took a whizz yesterday. One brand was "Rough Rider".........What the hell are those? Condoms for rapists? Or maybe they are preferred by the Sado-Masochistic crowd.......

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 10:23 AM

It may be 2 problems. The link MMario gave shows one side but the earlier comment about toxins is also true. See here.

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 10:34 AM

I know where my nuts are, but speaking of Brazil nuts...

Brazil nuts can be a real pain-in-the-ass to eat because the meat tends to stick to the hull when you crack the things. But, some of them crack cleanly because the kernel inside has shrunk away from the hull a little. If you shake 'em you can hear the kernel rattling around inside the ones that are easy to crack. So, when I buy Brazil nuts I always get them from a bulk bin, never prepackaged, and I shake each one and only take the easy-to-crack ones. It draws a few curious looks but who cares? Guys with long white beards get used to curious looks around Christmastime.

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: Kim C
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 10:49 AM

Hmm... Rough Rider condoms. Not very romantical, is it?

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:16 AM

The old guy who goes around shaking his nuts? Yeah, we know 'im. He's harmless -- just don't ask him to play the banjo.

As to where yours are -- maybe where they've always been, right over there next to your brain...


A

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:36 AM

theres plenty of nuts in hull.

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:36 AM

The moment I saw this thread I thought of Spaw for some reason...

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: Cluin
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:48 AM

Why? Was the water that cold?

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:56 AM

Well, I know he usually has trouble finding them, that's why.

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 12:18 PM

He can find them in his sleep -- and often does! It's letting go that he finds difficult!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: Art Thieme
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 12:37 PM

There is a vas deferens between Brazil nuts and Spaw nuts. If you cannot tell the deferens, well, I don't know what to tell ya. You ought to be put in a penile institution, made to lay out prostate on the floor, and be forced to listen to VERY LOUD music by Urethra Franklin singing "The Rolling Of The Stones" 24-7. (Bright lights too.)

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: Sorcha
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 12:56 PM

I can still get them, but hate the things. Send some, and label otherwise???? (grin....)

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 02:09 PM

Gee Art. It is good to have you back. Vas Deferens hee hee

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: GUEST,harpy
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 08:29 PM

Two crazy guys are sitting on a bench at Ypsilanti State Hospital in 1970. A beautiful coed intern in a tube top walks by (hey,that's me)
and smiles provocatively at the pair. Harry says to George "Wow, that's some babe!" George just sits and drools. I wiggle my shoulder and smile wider. Harry pokes George and says, "Wow, I think that girl must like you!" George continues to do the thorazine shuffle...Finally, I pull down one side of my tube top to give them both a thrill...Harry gets very excited and starts to jump up and down and grabs George by the shoulders and yells, "Hey, she definitely likes ya, Harry! Show her yer nuts, show her yer nuts!"

Harry sticks out his tongue, crosses his eyes and sticks his thumbs in his ears and wags his hands and goes "bledah, bledah, bledah!!!!"




true story    (and she went on to be outstanding in her field...)

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 10:24 PM

?? could Joe or some clone PM me about missing post?

Subject: RE: BS: Where are my nuts?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:28 PM

You're on the wrong thread, Bill. It's nuts we're trying to locate here...