BS: Short works

Subject: BS: Short works
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 10:48 PM

Hi just been looking at a article in The Daily Telegraph online about reviewing a book and summarising the plot in one or two sentences.

For example;

Lord of the Rings, J R R Tolkein
"Little guys go to a lot of trouble to get rid of stolen jewellery."

The Bible
"Good opening chapter. Main character arrives halfway through but gets killed off early. Some decent (if dated) commandments. Cracking ending. Slightly too open to interpretation."

Watership Down, Richard Adams
"Funny-named bunnies leave home based on psychic premonition, join cult, leave, find new home, notice no lady bunnies around, steal lady bunnies from farm."

Can any catters do this with their own favourite books or even long ballads?

My own conribution.

'A History of the American People' by Paul Johnson

' From the Poruguese to the modern day, wooden ships to space flight, civil wars to invasions, from Washington to Presidential lies and stains. A history still being invented'

'Marie Antoinette' by Antonia Frasser

'Young Hapsburg Princess sent to France, marries a prince, becomes a Queen, upsets the people and loses her head'

Subject: RE: BS: Short works
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 10:54 PM

Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea

"Gone Fishing."

Subject: RE: BS: Short works
From: Art Thieme
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 11:02 PM

Best condensing job ever done in a folksong was when Woody Guthrie summarized Steinbeck's GRAPES OF WRATH entire trip from Oklahoma to California in just two lines of his fine song TOM JOAD.

They buried Grandpa Joad by the side of the road,
Buried Grandma on the California side.

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Short works
From: LadyJean
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 11:29 PM

A very disagreeable young woman makes life difficult for a lot of people.
For me that sums up "Gone With The Wind".
My sister read it in 24 hours on a bet.

Subject: RE: BS: Short works
From: Amos
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 11:56 PM

Moby Dick: Whaling skipper loses leg, loses temper, loses.

War and Peace: As per title.

Little Women: Girls age.

Ulysses: Hard day in Irish city

Subject: Bible in 50 Words or Less
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Mar 04 - 12:09 AM

Bible in 50 Words or Less:

God made,
Adam bit,
Noah arked,
Abraham split;

Jacob fooled,
Joseph ruled,
Bush talked,
Moses balked;

Pharaoh plagued,
People walked,
Sea divided,
Tablets guided;

Promises landed,
Saul freaked,
David peeked,
Prophets warned;

Jesus born,
God walked,
Love talked,
Anger crucified;

Hope died,
Love rose,
Spirit flamed,
Word spread;

God remained.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Short works
From: Splott Man
Date: 19 Mar 04 - 08:02 AM

"Portnoy's Complaint"

The gripes of Roth

Subject: RE: BS: Short works
From: Peace
Date: 19 Mar 04 - 11:54 AM

"The Hound of the Baskervilles": The story of a man and his dog.

Subject: RE: BS: Short works
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 19 Mar 04 - 06:04 PM

I have a little book at home called "Shrinklits: Seventy of the World's Towering Classics Cut Down to Size" by Maurice Sagoff. (I see Amazon.com has it for $3.58.) Plots of famous novels are summarized as short poems. Here are a couple I found on-line:

BEOWULF

Monster Grendel's tastes are plainish.
Breakfast? Just a couple Danish.
King of Danes is frantic, very.
Wait! Here comes the Malmö ferry
Bringing Beowulf, his neighbor,
Mighty swinger with a saber!
Hrothgar's warriors hail the Swede,
Knocking back a lot of mead;
Then, when night engulfs the Hall
And the Monster makes his call,
Beowulf, with body-slam
Wrenches off his arm, Shazam!
Monster's mother finds him slain,
Grabs and eats another Dane!
Down her lair our hero jumps,
Gives old Grendel's dam her lumps.
Later on, as king of Geats,
He performed prodigious feats
Till he met a foe too tough
(Non-Beodegradable stuff)
And that scaly-armored dragon
Scooped him up and fixed his wagon.
Sorrow-stricken, half the nation
Flocked to Beowulf's cremation;
Round his pyre, with drums a-muffle
Did a Nordic soft-shoe shuffle.

LADY CHATTERLY'S LOVER

Poor Lady C
Can't come to grips
With hubby, dead
Below the hips,
But finds the hired
Keeper game,
A spunky type,
Mellors by name.
A real four-letter
Athlete he
Who fills the breach
For Lady C.
She lives again.
Her joy is utter:
'The greatest thing
Since peanut butter!'
Sex is not sin
Nor cause for shame;
Taboos and caste
Are much to blame.
That's what your Uncle
David said.
Well, kids, that's it -
Now go to bed."

Subject: RE: BS: Short works
From: Cluin
Date: 19 Mar 04 - 06:17 PM

The Great Gatsby: Obsessed stalker wastes his time chasing rich bimbo and ends up shot in his swimming pool because she screwed up and buggered off, leaving him holding the bag.

The Sun Also Rises: A story about some stuff that happened.

Subject: RE: BS: Short works
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Mar 04 - 10:08 PM

Cluin, I would edit that just a little about The Sun Also Rises: A story about some stuff that happened in Spain, with some good fishing on the side.

Subject: RE: BS: Short works
From: Art Thieme
Date: 20 Mar 04 - 12:32 AM

Return Of The King

Frodo gave his finger for you!

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Short works
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 04 - 10:07 AM

Art, I thought it was going to be "Frodo give you the finger."

Brennan on the Moor: Wife saves hubby's thieving neck.

Tom Dooley: Stabs woman, then hangs around.

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer: Young man learns what to do when alone in the dark with a young woman.

Subject: RE: BS: Short works
From: Cluin
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 02:26 AM

SRS, how about:

The Sun Also Rises: A story about some stuff that happened in Paris and Spain, with some good fishing and drinking with Basques on the side.

Subject: RE: BS: Short works
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 12:03 PM

Alice Through the Looking Glass: Drugs screw you up.

Subject: RE: BS: Short works
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 12:08 PM

Yes, I think you've got it!