BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai

Subject: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 05:55 AM

I'm wondering if anyone out there has some good words to describe those people who may not have achieved the status of "friend" yet, but are more than "acquaintance".

This has troubled me for a long time, since I often feel the word friend is overused, and therefore dimished, but I'm at a loss for another word that is between the two. Any ideas?

..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 05:58 AM

Sorry! Somehow, the last word got cut off!!

This is probably going to draw some even stranger remarks than I was hoping for.

Please be kind!..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Hrothgar
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 06:25 AM

I know just what you mean. I have a broad range of acquaimtamces, some of them close acquaintances, but very few friends in the deepest sense of the word.

... and, no, I don't have an answer to the question.

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: GUEST,Sooz(at work)
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 06:37 AM

I agree. We need a new word so as not to devalue the word friend. Thinking caps on everybody.

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 07:34 AM

"Mates" normally seems to cover this one well enough, in England anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Morticia
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 08:17 AM

I don't agree, I would say someone is my mate to imply quite a close friendship i.e. "Oy, that's my mate you're talking about!"

Chum/pal etc have fallen into disuse.....or have a quaintness that is not appropriate either.Hmmm, I'm quite happy to describe someone as a friend once we are past the courtesy nod stage....a description for close friends would be the word I don't have.

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 09:09 AM

Years ago I decided that I had friends (a small select group), friendly acquaintnces (lotsa'em) & acquaintances (many).

I still categorise folks that way.

I also have small number of acquaintances classified as Can't Be Bothered With.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Deckman
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 09:47 AM

I know what you mean. I'm often uncomfortable when someone introduces me as their "friend" when in my opinion, we haven't reached that status. I get around it myself by saying saying like: "This is George," or something equally safe. In other words, avoid the qualifier. CHEERS, Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 09:57 AM

I introduce them as 'my neighbor', 'my sister's brother in law', 'my 'boss's son', 'my daughter's friend', etc.

A friend of mine is European and English is not her first language. Like Sandra in Sydney, she has a 'friendly acquaintance' category, and I use that too now.

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 09:59 AM

If you're desperate for labels, how about "a close acquaintance"?


A

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Allan C.
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 10:50 AM

I think of most folks as being friends until proven otherwise. I have a small but expanding number of close friends. Maybe we need to look at the question from the other end. Perhaps there should be a special word for those friends whom we hold dear.

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 11:01 AM

I've also relied on "friendly aquaintance" but one can't really introduce another that way...it would sound strange.

And I'd opt for the person's name in introductions, but that necessitates my REMEMBERING it, which is sadly happening less and less!

Close friend, is good to lift it above a friend status in that heirachy of friendships.

And Mate somehow sounds really weird coming out of my mouth. Maybe it's because I still connect it to men rather than women...or as the term meaning someone's partner.

I can't really say, this is so-and so's son in law, if I can't remember so-in-so's name either!

Up to now, I say "A person I know" if referring to them to someone in conversation, and in introductions I say something like...why don't you introduce yourselves?...and run for cover.

Keep em coming, "friends"....we'll solve this yet!

..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Deckman
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 11:18 AM

I once worked with a civil engineer (there's an oxymoron) who simply couldn't remember ANYONE'S name. True. A few days after I met him, he called me "John." I reminded him that my name was "Bob. He laughed and said, " No it's not. It's got to be John. John is the only name I can remember. All men are named John. If you're a woman, your name is Helen. Get it?" I asked several other people about this and they all agreed. That's he got through his day. Also, he ALWAYS greeted you with "Good afternoon," no matter what time of the day it was. He claimed he didn't own a watch and it made his day real simple. But ... he was a good engineer, especially if he liked you and you happened to be named "John." Bob (I think)

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 11:46 AM

LOL!! That's an engineering solution if I ever heard one!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 11:59 AM

That is SO FUNNY, Deckman John!!!!!!..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 12:11 PM

I think I, and people I know in these environs, do it like this:

This is my friend xxxxxx - not my spouse, child, or any other designated relationship, but someone I like and want you to recall as connected to me.... someone I can recommend to you (and I want to know later if you agree).... be sure to invite them to my funeral and the lunch afterwards. I like this person and see/know them well but I don't worry if they see/know me equally as well....

This is my dear friend xxxxx - we are close, longterm, committed friends... but not exclusive.... should be invited to come to my bedside if I'm very sick and to come to the early part of my visitation if I'se daid. May have good pix and anecdotes to share. Sees/knows me as well as I, them, if not better.

This is my dearest friend xxxxx - so close we can be assumed to be authorized to speak in one another's name.... this one should sit in the front row at my funeral and maybe speak to the people about me... offspring too close to marry each other... someone who probably knew me better than I ever knew them, but trusts how I see/know them.

??????????

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 12:12 PM

Ellen:

For the purpose of introductions, someone closer than an acquaintance but not a friend could be a colleague, a connection, a peer, a link, a contact, a node in a network, or no-label, names-only.

"This is my contact George. George, this is my contact Nancy." Hmmmm.

"Hi, I'd like you to meet my network-node William." Hmmmm.

"Mary, this is an old peer of mine, Tracy. Tracy, this is my peer Mary.".

"John, this is Bob, an addressee of mine. Well, really, he's more than an addressee -- we're correspondents."

All pretty yucky, huh? Seems to me "Bill, this is George." does the trick just fine.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 12:37 PM

WYSIWYG -Your definitions are magnificent! But what I really need is the one that comes right BEFORE the first one you mentioned....

LOL Amos!
But given my memory lapses, I just might have to go with Deckman's friend (?) and just refer to everyone as either John or Helen. I'll have a hard enough time figuring out which is which soon enough!


..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 12:56 PM

I think, perhaps we should content ourselves with the word friend to cover all those who are not enemies...foes...as I believe that portrays the original meaning of the word. We have bandied the word around, as we do, in such a way, as to convert the meaning to our own social/moral/ethnic/personal/familial...etc etc....cause.
I have a best friend who is female(I am male) but I have a best mate who is male..Why the difference?? Probably our culture encourages it.
SO!!! I believe all are are friends who are not our enemies..albeit to differing degrees, from "Best friend" to "distant friend" or acquaintance. Well it does make life easy to think in this way and I like an easy life.
Be Blessed.

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 01:06 PM

But you'd rather mate with your friend that pal around with your mate?

A

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 01:14 PM

Ellen, no-- here, that #1 IS what I think you consider an acquaintance?

The problem word you are having IMO is MY. The people you are talking about aren't your MY, quite, are they? So make up sentences that don't require MY.

Such as these, where Fred is the ac/pal:


Bill, meet Fred. Fred and I:

work together at.....
know each other through....
share an interest in.....


Or, Bill, meet Fred. Fred:

shares your interst in birdwatching
comes from your area


Or, if Bill is closer to you than Fred,

Fred, meet my xxx Bill, who .......

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 01:49 PM

My chummer...

My pal...

My buddy...

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 02:10 PM

PS, the cops call 'em "associates."

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Peace
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 08:03 PM

Everybody else.

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Peace
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 09:14 PM

I have maybe two of the former and a few of the latter.

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Jeri
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 09:44 PM

There are people you wouldn't mind being stranded in the wilderness with, and you'd build a hut and hang out together.

There are people you wouldn't mind being stranded with, but you'd build separate huts and visit on Sundays, if you could remember when Sundays were.

There are people who you wouldn't mind being stranded with because they seem OK, but if not, at least you could get a couple of good meals out of them.

You mean the latter, right?
I think a plain old 'acquaintance' would be somebody you hope might have brought a cell phone.

'Friend' is just an inadequate word because it's so general. I wonder why we have some many words for things like colors and sounds, and only 'friend' for the myriad types of platonic social relationships.

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 04:33 AM

Great thoughts! Thanks friends (in the Georgiansilver sense)!!!

..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 05:30 AM

Georgiansilver smiles at Ellenpolys sensitive humour....
Be Blessed.

Subject: RE: BS: Something between a Friend and an Acquai
From: Mooh
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 06:07 AM

There's a great Simpson's scene where Homer's drinking friends identify themselves as cronies, sidekicks and several other synonymous expressions just short of "friend".

"Buddy" is used too much around here, so is "pal".

Peace, Mooh.