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BS: All alone here in Mudcat
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Subject: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,Ellenpoly Date: 21 Aug 04 - 08:44 AM Ellenpoly entered by the back door. She looked around, and realized she was all alone. Alone with hundreds of threads, thousands of posts. The voices of so many 'catters and GUESTS leaving their scat for her to wander through, step in, wipe off, and wander some more. "It's kind of creepy", she thought.."but I can do anything I want here and no one can see me, or stop me- not until they come back and find the toilet paper hanging from the rafters." "That's ok. I'll just blame it on William Shatner- say he's channelling through me again. Not my fault..nuh uh." Ellenpoly snickers to herself and creeps out the back door. Nothing to show she had even been here...hehehe. |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,SINSULL Date: 21 Aug 04 - 08:48 AM Oh my god, I'm posting as a GUEST!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,Jon Date: 21 Aug 04 - 09:04 AM You will Sinsull. 207.103.108.105 is not www.mudcat.org which is currently assigned as 207.103.108.99, it's the machine that is assigned to supersearch.mudcat.org and dev.mudcat.org. One source if you don't have nslookup you can use to confirm this sort of thing is Netcraft. Click here for www.mudcat.org. |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,Ellenpoly Date: 21 Aug 04 - 09:33 AM Ellenpoly sneaks back in to see if anyone is around yet. Nope, just silly old Sinsull, lost again as usual And Jon sounding all Jonish But nobody noticing Ellenpoly. "YAY!!!" ("Whoops", she whispers,"yaaayy") "I'll just lurk in a corner here and hang silly signs on people as they come in." Here's one for Sinsull ("Tickle me until I fart") Here's one for Jon ("Delete me now") Ellenpoly creeps away with no one the wiser... |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,DMcG Date: 21 Aug 04 - 09:50 AM What's all this stuff hanging from the rafters? Must be that William S again. |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,McGrath of Harlow Date: 21 Aug 04 - 09:51 AM A GUEST, but not a nameless one! |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,JennyO Date: 21 Aug 04 - 09:52 AM JennyO came in the back door, and shut it with a sigh and a feeling of accomplishment, as she peeled off the gardening gloves and brushed some stray bits of sugar-cane mulch off her clothes. It had been a busy day in the garden, and the newly planted lettuces had been safely bedded. That tree stump had been hard work though. She had followed Rapaire's suggestion, on the Annexe, of drilling holes and filling them with salt, and had been hit with a rather irrational feeling of guilt that she was actually trying to kill a living thing. She was looking forward to a noisy night of chat, pillow fights and BS on Mudcat - she stopped and listened - the silence was deafening. Something was not right. The catbox sat neglected. "That could do to be cleaned!", she thought to herself. Something compelled her to head for the bathroom. Inside it was steamy, the shower recess was wet, and bits of toilet paper were hanging from the rafters. On the misted up bathroom mirror, she could see a message had been written. She peered closely at it to try and make out what it said. "Oh no, this can't be possible", she thought, "surely it can't be........" But it was. It said..................... WILLIAM SHATNER WAS HERE! |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST Date: 21 Aug 04 - 09:58 AM We interrupt this story for a poetry reading. Ahem, cough, cough. 'Is anybody there?' said the Traveller, Knocking on the moonlit door; And his horse in the silence champed the grasses Of the forest's ferny floor: And a bird flew up out of the turret, Above the Traveller's head: And he smote upon the door a second time; 'Is there anybody there?' he said. But no one descended to the Traveller; No head from the leaf-fringed sill Leaned over and looked into his grey eyes, Where he stood perplexed and still. But only a host of phantom listeners That dwelt in the lone house then Stood listening in the quiet of the moonlight To that voice from the world of men: Stood thronging the faint moonbeams on the dark stair, That goes down to the empty hall, Hearkening in an air stirred and shaken By the lonely Traveller's call. And he felt in his heart their strangeness, Their stillness answering his cry, While his horse moved, cropping the dark turf, 'Neath the starred and leafy sky; For he suddenly smote the door, even Louder, and lifted his head: - 'Tell them I came, and no one answered, That I kept my word,' he said. Never the least stir made the listeners, Though every word he spake Fell echoing through the shadowiness of the still house From the one man left awake: Ay, they heard his foot upon the stirrup, And the sound of iron on stone, And how the silence surged softly backward, When the plunging hoofs were gone. We now resume our normal service ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST Date: 21 Aug 04 - 10:03 AM And the last laugh is on you all! I was sitting here all alone when in came Bill Shatner. He tickled me until I farted then bought me a drink (on Bert's card, of course) and gave me all the in secrets about buying on the cheap via the Internet. He even let me touch his new toupe. AND he gave me Leonard Nemoy's home phone number. By the way, Ellen, he insists he is not channeling through you. He says it must be the devil. |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,Leadfingers Date: 21 Aug 04 - 10:04 AM leadfingers found the back door wasnt locked like the rest of the ways in , so sneaked in to see what was happening . Not a lot by the look of the place , except a lot of rubbish ( Oh No - Not Joh9n ) . Wish there was a way from this entrance to The Chat !! AAh Well , just have to wait and see who's at The Black Lion tomorrow . |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,Charley Ignoble Date: 21 Aug 04 - 10:17 AM Charley's evil twin slips in, glances quickly around. His steel trap mind tells him that trouble is not too far...he opens the door to the loo and it's so dark in there, and ("Oh, no!") he strikes a match!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,JudyB Date: 21 Aug 04 - 12:12 PM Jon - Are you saying we're posting to a backup or mirror drive or something, and all this will disappear when we can log in to Mudcat the regular way? ...and all that was left was the smile.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,Jon Date: 21 Aug 04 - 01:15 PM No Judy. I'm saying that there are currently 2 working copies of the Mudcat forum for users that access the same database. I don't know the exact configuration but it won't be too dissimilar to the one I use for folkinfo. In that case, 3 machines are involved. The database server is a machine on it's own. On top of that, folkinfo and jonbanjo happen to be on different machines. That is how I can provide a back door to folkinfo using jonbanjo.com/folkinfo. If the server folkinfo is on crashes, odds are jonbanjo.com maybe running or visa versa. Short of both web servers going down, the most likely thing to stop me is the database server crashing as both copies of the forum depend on it. I keep the annexe running on an Acess database on jonbanjo rather than use the mySQL database on the database server as that increases my odds of at least having one of my 2 forums (ie Annexe and folkinfo) available. It's not perfect but the best I can come up with on my budget. Jon |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,JennyO Date: 21 Aug 04 - 01:27 PM Works fine for me Jon :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Rasener Date: 21 Aug 04 - 03:10 PM So how does this work. I have tried to get on mudcat all day but failed. I sthere another way when the server goes down, and how do you do this, please |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Peace Date: 21 Aug 04 - 03:22 PM Ditto that. Hey, was Ellenpoly here? |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: John MacKenzie Date: 21 Aug 04 - 03:57 PM I won 2nd prize for my Bakeless Cake at the Lairg Crofters Show today. Nothing for my soup this year though, it was cauliflower; last year I came 3rd for my green lentil soup. Sheesh, some people got no taste, it is lovely cauliflower soup! As for my arrangement of dried flowers, well!, better not to mention them. Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Ellenpoly Date: 21 Aug 04 - 03:59 PM Ellenpoly has been listening to all this in the corner. Even though Mudcat is back up, no one has noticed what she has put on their backs: McGrath from Harlow: "Humpf! Waste of good toilet paper" JennyO: "That's not me, it's my manure" GUEST Poet: "I can't STANZA it!" Charley: "I'm with Evil Twin, Stupid" Leadfingers: "Where am I???" Judy:"Click what?" Jon: "Gobblegookgobbledegookgobblegook-Some please translate." Villan:"Huh?" Brucie: "I swear I saw Esmeralda come in here..." Ellenpoly's work is done. She knows GUEST is wrong and that it's not the devil making her do it. She'll blame it on Bill, but the truth is that her own sign says, "THWACK!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Ellenpoly Date: 21 Aug 04 - 04:06 PM Ellenpoly somehow missed Giok. She comes back to give him his sign: "Somebody kiss the cook" |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: John MacKenzie Date: 21 Aug 04 - 04:10 PM It feels good to be remembered, albeit an afterthought! :~) Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Leadfingers Date: 21 Aug 04 - 04:17 PM And the front door is unlocked again now |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Ellenpoly Date: 21 Aug 04 - 04:18 PM Ellenpoly smirks in the corner "and he STILL hasn't taken off his sign! |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,Jon Date: 21 Aug 04 - 04:19 PM Villian, if you can't get in via www.mudcat.org/threads.cfm, try this one http://207.103.108.105/threads.cfm. What do you want explaining Ellenpolly? |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Rasener Date: 21 Aug 04 - 04:22 PM Thanks Jon - thats what I needed :-) Got that in me favourites already. |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Ellenpoly Date: 21 Aug 04 - 04:22 PM Whoops! Jon has spotted Ellenpoly cowering in the corner. Should she come out and apologize, or just hope Jon will understand she's just being extremely silly? Maybe if she THWACKS herself? ;-D |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Peace Date: 21 Aug 04 - 04:27 PM Thanks Jon. |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Blackcatter Date: 21 Aug 04 - 04:28 PM Ellenpoly and backdoor in the same sentence. Now there's an image . . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Ellenpoly Date: 21 Aug 04 - 04:39 PM Ellenpoly frowns as she sees Blackcatter. Here she thought he was busy buried under a ton of debris, and instead he's being his sleazy old self coming in her private entrance! He certainly deserves a sign: "Will work for cat food" |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: John MacKenzie Date: 21 Aug 04 - 04:42 PM Coming in your private entrance Ellenpoly? Isn't the internet wonderfull! Giok :~) Shall I get my coat? |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Ellenpoly Date: 21 Aug 04 - 04:46 PM Ellenpoly frowns...Giok also needs a new sign...she pauses for thought...and barracades her backdoor. |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Liz the Squeak Date: 21 Aug 04 - 06:56 PM Well it says that I'm not alone in the chatroom.... there's 3 of us, but only me listed! Just call me Sybil. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: JennyO Date: 21 Aug 04 - 11:33 PM JennyO went back into the bathroom and barricaded that door, first making sure that nobody was hiding in the corner. It was obviously time for a shower after a busy day in the garden - that Dynamic Lifter packs quite a punch too. She wiped the "William Shatner was here" writing off the mirror and looked at the grubby little face staring back at her. She spotted a bit of white sticking out behind her left shoulder. "Whaaat's that?" she thought. Taking off her black Gulgong Festival t shirt, she could see a piece of toilet paper stuck to the back of it, with the writing "That's not me, it's my manure". "Okay, I can take a hint", she said, getting in the shower. |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Charley Noble Date: 22 Aug 04 - 01:11 PM ;~) You're all very silly. |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Blackcatter Date: 22 Aug 04 - 03:06 PM Ellenpoly, I'll have you know that I'm a sweet guy. It's been tough for the past week - no electricity means no electronic porn. And there's something the Red Cross just won't provide . . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST Date: 22 Aug 04 - 03:24 PM Looks like you have to get in line. |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Dead Horse Date: 22 Aug 04 - 08:57 PM Who built this damn place? The back door is at the front, & round the back there are barricades! Doors all locked, but the windows are open - knowing windows they will crash at any moment, so I aint a-goin' in. |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: MBSLynne Date: 23 Aug 04 - 06:06 AM MBSLynne comes in the front door because she can't find the back door. Looks around and sees lots of people sneaking about thinking no one can see them...they all have strange signs pinned to their backs. What has she stumbled into?? Is there anyone here she knows? Yes...there are a few familiar faces but they are behaving very strangely. She trips over a discarded bottle of champagne (full). "Oh well" she thinks, sitting down to open it "If I start drinking this, they'll all come and join me and then maybe...just maybe...I'll be able to work out what the hell is going on!!!!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,JennyO Date: 29 Aug 04 - 12:58 PM JennyO tiptoes in the backdoor, sees that nobody is about, finds a nice bottle of red that MBSLynne missed last time round, and settles down to enjoy it. "There's something to be said for being alone sometimes!" she thinks to herself. |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: wysiwyg Date: 29 Aug 04 - 01:30 PM |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: MBSLynne Date: 30 Aug 04 - 04:33 AM MBSLynne gets up, rather unsteadily and stumbles over the comatose body of JennyO....the trouble with being all alone, is that a bottle of wine seems to get you much drunker than when you have to share it. There's a choice now....either crawl away and nurse the hangover, or wake JennyO up, find some more bottles and HAVE A PARTY!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: John MacKenzie Date: 30 Aug 04 - 05:40 AM As I was climbing up the stair I met a man who wasn't there He wasn't there again today I wish that he would go away. Sugar Cane Mulch, wasn't she in Some Like it Hot?? Hello? Hello? It's so lonely, I even miss that cat. Well I always did miss that cat! Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Blowzabella Date: 30 Aug 04 - 08:24 AM Blowzabella's bus had been late. In the end, she'd got the driver to drop her off in the middle of nowhere, in the hope of cadging a lift. Eventually she'd got one - off a bloke driving a combine and who'd clearly drunk several pints of locally brewed cider. Never mind. She was in one piece with her honour intact. All credit to him, he'd tried to warn her away from going there. To go home with him and meet his ma instead. But she'd persuaded him to drop her off anyway. And gone in. BB pushed open the door. For months now she'd dreamed of visiting a place like this. But it was empty - or was it. Disembodied voices of people who'd passed through seemed to echo around. Shadows of former inhabitants seemed to mark places by the bar and she didn't dare sit anywhere because she was sure a voice would call out - "Don't sit there - that's jOhn's seat!" BB ran a finger throught the dust on the bar and decided to make the best of it. Disapponting that no-one was here - now that she'd got here. She found a corner and sat down - pulled her knees up to her chest an rummaged for the corkscrew and bottle she'd brought. She'd hoped to share it with some likeminded folk, but where were they - she shrugged - if nothing else turned up she'd drink the bottle herself and get the bus back in the morning - or perhaps she'd go and meet the combine driver's mother! |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: John MacKenzie Date: 30 Aug 04 - 09:17 AM Gosh! Did you see what BB arrived on, and that bloke who was driving it? I think that was Young Ramble Away on that combine harvester, lucky she wasn't reaped. Still maybe he's changed his ways, it was a John Deere harvester after all. Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Blowzabella Date: 30 Aug 04 - 02:34 PM After a while BB decided to go have a look around outside - she knew there were people about but where were they? It was chilly outside so she walked up and down a bit to try and get warm. She noticed a soldier approaching wearing a cloak - so she went back inside again - not falling for THAT old song!!! But where was everybody?? Ellenpolly? Hello? |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: MBSLynne Date: 30 Aug 04 - 02:41 PM Hic.....er.....hey JennyO....I shthink shomeone's about...did you hear a voice? It wash jusht after that awful loud combineharvestersortofengine noishe. Tell em to come and join the party...s'long as they've brought shome more booze....... |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: el_punkoid_nouveau Date: 30 Aug 04 - 03:42 PM Aha!!!! The voice that MBSLynne heard - could it be the gentle whisper of el_punkoid_nouveau? Eeerily, being that kind of a guy, he was trying to get in through the windows... ...as the windows wouldn't open (or closed with a thundering "CRASH!" - no booze but boos! And the whisper? Was he complaining about the way in - the whisper kept mentioning the gates... |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: JennyO Date: 31 Aug 04 - 12:04 AM Huh, huh.....errr....whaaaa..tsh thaaat? Neverrrr hearrrd anything.......mmmm (yawns).... Hey....poorr me anothhhhhhherrrrr one.... make it a Guinness this time (_) Bottommms up..hey.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: MBSLynne Date: 31 Aug 04 - 02:55 AM D'you think the new pershon's brought any more? Hic. Ithink weeee've run out........When I can shtand up, I'll go and fetch some more....how do I get out of here? Where's the back door gone? Where's the front?? Wha's happenened to the Windows??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Blowzabella Date: 31 Aug 04 - 03:16 AM BB stepped outside and, putting two fingers in her mouth, whistled shrilly. A few minutes later, the combine harvester trundled up the road, bearing a load of scrumpy. "Will this be OK BB?" said Ramble Away - a nice lad, now that he'd calmed down a bit. "Mother says she'll send up some of her Damson Gin in a bit too" "It's fine for me" said BB - "but what about everybody else. Oh I dare say we'll manage." Cheers everyone! |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: MBSLynne Date: 31 Aug 04 - 06:29 AM Ooooh, look JennyO! It's BB with some scrumpy and damson gin!! Now we really CAN have a party! Who's going to sing the first song?? And is Young Ramble Away going to join us?..He DOES look a nice lad! :-) Is his mate Jock o' Hazeldene coming too? |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: JennyO Date: 31 Aug 04 - 11:17 AM Aw great, scrumpy!! Jusht in time cos I ran out of guineshhh. Letsh have a song eh.... Fer my first taste of sin... I said, 'Lemme have a big ol' sip.' Uhohhhhhh, I done a double back flip. Chugalug, chugalug makes ya wanna say hidyho, burns ya body don'tcha know, chugalug chugalug....... |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: John MacKenzie Date: 31 Aug 04 - 03:08 PM Guinness and cider, poor man's black velvet, I love it! Hey barkeep! I'll have one of those, and can we call it an Irish boilermaker? It's really great when you think of it, Dublin, Dubh Lin or black pool being the source of the frothy collared lunatic soup. Who is that man with the domino mask, didn't I see him in another thread? Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: MBSLynne Date: 31 Aug 04 - 04:06 PM Great! I KNEW when we started drinking the others would turn up! Wish they'd turn round so I could see the signs pinned to their backs.....Pass that scrumpy JennyO, you are hogging it! "There's an old mill by the stream Nellllyyy Deeaannn....." |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: John MacKenzie Date: 31 Aug 04 - 04:11 PM Where we used to sit and dream Nelleee Deeeeean And the waters as they flow Seem to murmer sweet and low You're my heart's delight, I love you Nellie Dean Sweeet Nelleee Deeean. Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: MBSLynne Date: 01 Sep 04 - 07:49 AM Ah...hic...brings tears to me eyes Giok! Have another drink! |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: el_punkoid_nouveau Date: 01 Sep 04 - 09:06 AM At last! epn finds the door and stumbles in, breaking his bottle of eau de cologne on the way. The cry goes up - what's that smell!!!!!!! (Well, when did you last smell the waters of the Rhine, flowing past said town...) With a quick thought, he replies - must be the sewers... The puzzled inebriates reply - what sewers? I'll have one of whatever you're drinking! |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: JennyO Date: 01 Sep 04 - 11:04 AM Hey punkoid, come on down here and have a little of thish here damshon gin - yeah, right down here and pull up a piece of floor. Scrumpy's all gone - somebody drank it all *giggles* And what whash that about sewerss? Ain't no sewers around here boy... Ooh my head hurts.....did somebody get the number of that truck? letsh have a little song... I've a head like a concertina I've a tongue like a button-stick I've a mouth like an old potato and I'm more than a little sick - hic... JennyO manages to focus for a moment on a door she hasn't noticed before. On top of it is a sign Hey, that looksh like a place I might get a feed. I could do with some aurochs fajitas...I might go and have a look.....OOOPS - whoa, stop the world I wanna get off.. okay, I'm standing now. JennyO makes her way unsteadily towards the door with the big red sign... |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: el_punkoid_nouveau Date: 01 Sep 04 - 01:09 PM My my - that Gin is mighty fine! I wonder just where the scrumpy went... I don't mind if I do have another... or another... or another... or... |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: MBSLynne Date: 01 Sep 04 - 04:00 PM I'm with you JennyO.....letsh go..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: jack halyard Date: 01 Sep 04 - 07:01 PM Be warned about that scrumpy "Remember Dead Dog Scrumpy, It's the best there is by far." Old Bendigo has been preserved at the bottom of that scrumpy vat for some thirty five years now. "Oh never, oh never, oh never again, If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten, Cos I fell to the floor and I couldn't get up, After drinking a quart of that Johnny Jump Up." Stick to Vodka, its less lethal. Onnn thassh noahtt, I---ll jushtt pisshhh orrff tu wukkk noaoauw! ffffff i CaNN shTILl drIVe! Jack Halyard |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: MBSLynne Date: 02 Sep 04 - 03:04 AM MBSLynne sticks her head round the door. "Hey Jack...what're you still doing here on your own? Everyone's at the Tavern! C'mon...and bring old Bendigo with you, he'll fit in really well!!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,JennyO Date: 15 Jan 05 - 11:10 AM Just rounding up any stragglers from this thread - come on over - Backdoor Tavern 99 is open for business, and the drinks are on the house! |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: GUEST,Giok Date: 15 Jan 05 - 01:23 PM I would prefer them on the table, and in a glass if you don't mind dear. When I end up in the gutter I want it to be the one beside the road! Otherwise how would the pig come up and lay down by my side? Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: Megan L Date: 15 Jan 05 - 01:35 PM Megan L steps in for a quiet snifter and almost trips over goik cuddling a tamworth old spot. wonder where they all went |
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Subject: RE: BS: All alone here in Mudcat From: John MacKenzie Date: 15 Jan 05 - 01:42 PM Well somebody said could I do a quick 10 minute spot to fill in before the main act! Giok |
