BS: Never....

Subject: BS: Never....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:44 AM

Never double-tie the drawstring in a pair of sweatpants.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:46 AM

Never wait till the last minute to head to the bathroom to pee if your trouser zipper has been sticking. (or is this restating the same problem?)

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:49 AM

Never drive off with ice on your windshield when the sun is low.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:52 AM

Don't break the ice on the windshield with a heavy broom.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:01 AM

Never mix alcohol and gunpowder. It gets wet and hard to light.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:11 AM

Never order sashimi from anyone named "Bubba".

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:12 AM

Only at less than 100 proof, unless I forget my definitions.

Never feed the trolls.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,uh oh
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:15 AM

never sit down for a shit before confirming if there is any paper..

or if anyone else is in the house to fetch, it or run out quickly to the shops..

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bert
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:59 AM

hit seventeen when you play against the dealer.
Or so the song says.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: C-flat
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 12:05 PM

..let your braces dangle in the toilet bowl.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 12:31 PM

Let your trousers touch the floor in over-used Festival portaloos (ladies problem)

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 12:32 PM

...or in France...

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 12:40 PM

Never dine in dimly-lit restaurants.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Schantieman
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 12:41 PM

Gents' problem too, in the appropriate circumstances!

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 12:51 PM

Let a laddie an inch above yer knee.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 01:09 PM

Never let Michael.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 01:10 PM

HISTORICAL TRIVIA: In the US, whiskey used to be "proofed" with gunpowder. You wet the gunpowder with the whiskey and lit it. If it was 180 proof or so it would burn and ignite the gunpowder, which would FOOF!. If it laid there in a soggy black mess the guy you were trying to sell it to would toss you out, without beating you up if you were lucky.

How about changing it to "Never drink so much that you shoot at tax collectors -- and miss."

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: artbrooks
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 01:12 PM

Never assume that the other guy is going to signal for a lane change...especially in Albuquerque.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Don Firth
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 01:12 PM

. . . slap someone who is chewing tobacco.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Midchuck
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 01:15 PM

...go to the john, while playing in a bar and consuming beer, without taking off your thumbpick and/or fingerpicks.

(I had trouble remembering this rule, and eventually was forced to switch to flatpicking pretty much exclusively.)

Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Chris Green
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 01:23 PM

..lend money to a man wearing rollerskates.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 02:09 PM

... say never.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Teresa
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 02:11 PM

... squeeze an open water bottle between your thighs, unless you want your face washed, that is.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 04:12 PM

Never remove items from boiling oil with your fingers.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 04:26 PM

Never trust a thin chef

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Jim Tailor
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 04:30 PM

Tell your date's burly father that you plan to get lucky tonight.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Jim Tailor
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 04:31 PM

Wave good-bye from a helicopter.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Jim Tailor
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 04:34 PM

Lean over your guitar if you plan to tune the G string up to A. Unless you have safety glasses on...

...in which case you might take your chances with your date's burly father as well (after all, who's going to get lucky with a pair fo safety glasses on?)

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Curious
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:04 PM

Teresa: Sounds like there's a great story there! Maybe even a song!

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: *Laura*
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:08 PM

put your socks in the toaster

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,milk monitor
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:19 PM

Never lick the ice box inside an old frigidaire fridge, no matter how hot the weather. Sure the older sister will helpfully unplug it, but then she'll take the piss relentlessly while you are stuck there waiting for it to defrost.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Jim Tailor
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:22 PM

Tug on Superman's cape
Spit into the wind
Pull the mask off the lone ranger
Mess around with Slim

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Jim Tailor
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:24 PM

Bee-dubya-ell,

As any Art school potter knows -- never bare-hand a fallen peep-hole brick in the sunlight.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:31 PM

And never bare-hand the prop brick when you're finished venting a kiln.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Jim Tailor
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:35 PM

ouch.

Never walk a straight line when you're wearing funky shoes.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:40 PM

. . . sneak up on a raccoon.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Teresa
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:41 PM

Guest and all,

It's known as Vegas in the summer time; inside of car temp reaching 150F. fortunately the water was at 80F or so, do to the insulated cover. :)

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Padre
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:39 PM

Never bad-mouth the corpsman who has control of your shot record.

Padre
HMCS (FMF) Retired

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bobert
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:46 PM

Never sell the mule to buy a plow....

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:49 PM

Don't use your bare hands to cut up jalapenos and take a leak afterwards. (That warning is for the guys).

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:58 PM

Never use a wood chipper to dispose of a body unless it is thoroughly frozen to less than 15 degrees F.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:40 PM

...roller skate in a buffalo herd.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Teresa
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:44 PM

Hmmm, that wood chipper gave me the chills. :> Would make a good mystery though.

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:51 PM

"never neck by the garden gate-
love is blind, but the neighbors aint."

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: pdq
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:56 PM

Never bite a married woman on the thigh.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:03 PM

Teresa, it already has, a movie called Fargo.

Never try to sneak a drink into a concert that's tied to a string that's longer than your skirt.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:06 PM

Shall we make these more interesting, and dangerous, by limiting them to personal experience?

Never use cast Iron drainpipe to make a potato mortar.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Joe Offer
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:19 PM

I wonder if these are all first-hand experiences...

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:23 PM

Try to reverse a clothes wringer with your fingers...assuming you even know what a clothes-wringer is!!!LOL


A

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:40 PM

Rapaire-

Alcohol at 100 proof or higher will burn.

I used to clean up radioactive spills with 200 proof undenatured ethanol. Great buzz from the fumes...

We kept a jug in the electrinics shop for party punches- 3 parts fruit juice, one part solvent...

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:42 PM

Joe, the initial post about never double-tying the drawstring in a pair of sweatpants is definitely from firsthand experience. Quite recent, in fact.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Teresa
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:56 PM

Oh pffft darn me, I thought that seemed familiar re: Fargo ...

Ok, mine was true, unfortunately. I have many more similar ones for any who care. ;)

er, never stand too close to folding doors when you close them.

never touch a fur-clogged vacuum, at least not the metal part, after it's been running awhile. Had blisters on my fingers for three days.

Never put your hand on a wood stove for balance.

That should do for now. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:04 PM

Teresa-

Was that a wood stove, or a wood-BURNING stove?

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:06 PM

Mine was only partially true. I removed things from boiling oil with a fork, then immediately picked it up off the fork with my fingers.

Others from personal experience:
Never drink from a water fountain without first testing where it sprays to.

Never cut your toenails with a knife.

Never light a tissue on fire without first having some plan for putting it out or some place to set it down.

Never try to blow out a tissue that has been lit on fire unless you want bits of burning kleenex to spread all over the place.

Never let bits of a burning tissue fall onto your computer keyboard.

I'm sure I could list a few more things and ways not to light things on fire.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Teresa
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:09 PM

I never knew there were wooden stoves. Learn something new ever' day.   :)

teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: frogprince
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:16 PM

...try to tell anyone he doesn't understand biblical prophecy...

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:21 PM

Lick your genitals in public.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:31 PM

UNless you are working as a side-show artist in a carnival....


A

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:56 PM

Good advice. If you lick your genitals in public this week, you'll be chasing cars and peeing on fire hydrants next week.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,ragdall
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:08 PM

"..let your braces dangle in the toilet bowl."

Is this something an orthadontally challenged teen may do when driving the porcelain bus?

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,ragdall
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:08 AM

...try bare-handed, to catch falling cement blocks when you've just peeled more off from a wall with a sledge hammer than you intended. (ouch!)

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: kendall
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 05:26 AM

...tell a cop to go fuck himself.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Micca
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 06:40 AM

NEVER try to pick up hot glass bare handed when carrying out Glass-blowing operations NB Hot glass looks EXACTLY like cold glass
Never sniff a flask you suspect may contain Ammonia, the resulting recoil and fall backwards over several Lab stools can cause much hilarity amongst colleagues.
On a serious note NEVER do mouth to mouth on anyone you even suspect may have inhaled a noxious or toxic gas, You could join them unconcious on the floor, This applies to Houshold as well as Chem lab accidents , ie Bleach inhalation, Car exhaust fumes etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: sian, west wales
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 06:47 AM

... give a child a child-safe chemistry set if the child next door has also been given a child-safe chemistry set, but not the same make and model of the first child's child-safe chemistry set (are you following this?) because just because one manufacturer's set of chemicals is safe within itself, it doesn't necessarily follow that the two together are.

On a similar note point out to said children ...

Never think that an aerosol can of room freshener can be used in lieu of fire extinguisher if, by combining more than one chemistry set, your mother's basement curtains catch on fire.

I've always thought there might be a ballad in there somewhere - something along the lines of The Sicknote ...

siân

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Crystal
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 06:51 AM

Re the ammonia sniffing, NEVER take a deep sniff of 2M hydrocloric acid, it burns!
Never eat twiglets, then rub your eyes, I was up last night trying to wash bits of twiglet dust out from under my eyelids!

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: robomatic
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 07:00 AM

whack your bicycle handlebars on one side to get the grip back in place while you're riding.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 09:18 AM

forget which paticular 'of course it's safe if you know what you're doing' dangerous substance you're mucking about with. Liquid Nitrogen, 100% ethanol.

bunnahabhain.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 10:19 AM

leave liniment on your hands after using it - you'll find out why when you absent-mindedly rub your eyes!

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 10:44 AM

Never drop your children off just anywhere in the school drop off zone (like in the middle of the street with cars moving on either side of you). Use the curb, and have them get out of the door next to the curb. Don't stop at the first point along that curb that you come to--PULL FORWARD!!! (My morning pas de deux x 100) You'd think some of these people had kids to spare, the way the just plop them out anywhere amongst the moving traffic.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:25 PM

steal georgian silver's favourite number.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 01:53 PM

pdq, oh my, on the thigh, thank you for that memory!

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Micca
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 02:24 PM

Never Use a standard -5degC to 105degC thermometer to record the Heat of dilution of Sulphuric Acid( diluting from Concentrated to 2 Molar) as the resulting sudden rise may shoot the end of the thermometer across the prep room and part the Hair of the Senior Technician 20 feet away like a small bullet, leaving said Senior Tech VERY unamused. This also applies to making Caustic Soda solutions ( My thats hot, I wonder HOW Hot?)
Never set a trap for the Junior Tech by connecting the handle of the door of the tea room to a VandeGraaf Generator on a dry Summers afternoon. The Senior Tech with the weak heart and the Pacemaker may arrive first and be somewhat startled by the 2ft long blue spark that leaps to his hand from said door handle. aid Senior may also be very displeased with you some hours later when he has recovered and is known for bearing a grudge.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:05 PM

"Don't use your bare hands to cut up jalapenos and take a leak afterwards. (That warning is for the guys). "

Or indulge in firkytoodling with your girlfriend either....

Not personal, but someone I know......

Don't choose a hawthorn bush to indulge in your first ever outdoor 'shenanigans'.... the operative word is THORN.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: frogprince
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:32 PM

To the tune of "Mona Lisa"

Firkytoodling, firkytoodling, Liz has called it,
I'm sure I have never heard that word before....

My closest associate sometime calls me "fingers", and occasionally "titty twiddler", but I hope she never gets hold of
"firkytoodler"; I don't think I could take it.

LOL.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 11:50 AM

Dont eat yellow snow

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bert
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 02:55 PM

Try to get by someone who is backing out of a parking space.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 07:30 PM

froggie - never heard it called that before? You HAVE had a sheltered life!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: artbrooks
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 08:01 PM

Never do a panic stop on a bicycle by squeezing the front hand brake really hard...unless you want to join the "over the bars club".

Never give your significant other a back rub with Bengay and then go directly on to serious cuddling.

Never read these things with a mouth full of liquid...any liquid...unless you are far away from your keyboard.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bert
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 01:22 AM

Never ever step upon his tail.

If you ever, ever, ever see a whale that is.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Rachel Wasbest
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 01:48 AM

Firkyfronttoodling or firkybacktoodling?

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:13 AM

Rachel - either.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Rachel Wasbest
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:18 AM

Count me in.

When do we start.

Wots the password.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Crystal
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:43 AM

never leave obvious marks.
I'll leave it up to your warped imiginations as to what and where this applies!

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:17 AM

never get told off for leaving obvious marks. Revenge in kind tends to result...

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Layah
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 12:05 PM

Never buy a bra before obvious marks have faded. (For those of you who don't know, most fancy bra shops the clerks help you make sure the bra fits right)

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 12:11 PM

Nice work if you can get it!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 12:30 PM

never try to understand the tangled web of relationships round here.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,OOOOOOOH!
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 04:08 AM

Never push your piles back in after slicing green chillies!

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bert
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 07:11 PM

Never join a songwriter's club that has a blind member. 'Cos they actually LISTEN to your songs

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bert
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 07:16 PM

Go to Pueblo Colorado. Their only industry is the jail and court system. THEY'LL GET YA.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Cluin
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 08:45 PM

Never get drunk in the afternoon if you have to play that night. There's no "sleeping it off" in time.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Chris Green
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 08:57 PM

...hit your mother with a shovel. It leaves a dull impression on her mind. (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, 1969)

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:21 PM

Never take a long soaking bath to ease your aching back and then when you are toweling off decide that now is a good time to apply Ben Gay. You might find yourself furiously funneling cold water at great speed onto your suddenly blistered back.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Teresa
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:41 PM

Hahahaha, Bert: "Never join a songwriter's club that has a blind member. 'Cos they actually LISTEN to your songs"

I resemble that remark. :):)

Don't have a brainstorm while you are cooking and leave the house for a couple hours, or you'll be lucky it doesn't burn down!

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:50 PM

....fart in a pair of pantyhose.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: LadyJean
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 12:17 AM

Three Nevers I learned before I was 21

Never eat grits that have been cooked in a restaurant. (Mom made grits and they were sublime. Restaurang grits taste like library paste.)
Never shotgun slivovitz.
Never trust a man who knows all the words to the ball of Kerriemuir

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Peace
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 12:29 AM

"....fart in a pair of pantyhose."

The above remark was posted by Susu's Husband. I do NOT want to know.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bert
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 12:33 AM

That one was meant for you Teresa. Most people go to song writer's clubs for a pat on the back only.

There's a blind gal at PASA (Philadelphia Area Songwriter's Alliance) and she always comes up with some comment that the others have missed and it's obvious that she actually listened to the song. Which is a bugger when you've done something wrong *GRIN*

Aha! Lady Jean, Slivovice is a SIPPIN' drink. And grits at Eunice's in Huntsville Alabama are really good. And I know a lot of the words of ball of Kerriemuir so don't trust me either. And I've never tasted library paste.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Skipy
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 05:53 AM

Never stand on stool on a settee! to put up xmas decks,
Never never ever do this if you are a 70 year old female, alone in your house with the doors locked!!
My mother in law did!
Result - broken hip - JR Hospital - several week living down stairs at our house - monthS with walking sticks - TRUE!
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Scooby Doo
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 06:13 AM

100

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Sttaw Legend
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 06:15 AM

Sorry Gaia this is 100

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Scooby Doo
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 08:27 AM

I think you should go back to school and do your basic maths Sttaw Legend.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 12:23 PM

And just what is wrong with library paste?

Ever eaten tapioca?

Library paste is best grade chocolate compared with tapioca.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 08:25 PM

Never trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: frogprince
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 08:29 PM

It isn't a question of trust; it's a question of dietary preferences.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Peace
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 08:54 PM

Never smack your weewee with a hammer just to see if it hurts.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Teresa
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 09:00 PM

Never put ice in a hot thermos, unless you want to experiment with spectacularly breaking (exploding?) glass.

agree with you about tapioca, Liz, but not about library paste!

teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 09:20 PM

Whassa problem with tapioca? Put enough habanero pepper sauce on it and it ain't half bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Peace
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 09:22 PM

Good with "Tuong Ot Toi Vietnam" sauce also.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Teresa
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 03:57 AM

side note on tapioca: even though I hated it, a friend talked me into trying a "tapioca soda" in a Chinese convenience store in San Francisco. It's a sort of soft drink that comes with a very fat straw, and you suck fat tapioca balls up through the straw. Oh my lord! My friend was laughing at my faces! Somehow, I drank half of it, and then felt most queasy!

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 05:18 AM

Never think out loud without thinking more quietly first.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Crystal
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 05:23 AM

Never drink Root Beer. It is FOUL!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 06:47 AM

Stand up in canoe to look over the weir to see if you can shoot it.

I did this on the river Donnau in Bavaria,only thing I achieved was an early bath.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: skipy
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 08:41 AM

Never reset your oddometer through spokes of your steering wheel while leaving a garage forecourt (filling station) if you are turning a corner!
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Snuffy
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 09:13 AM

Trust a man with a beard..... who shaves

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 09:41 AM

Let your dingle dangle in the dirt,
Always keep your dingle,
wrapped up in your shirt.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bert
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 11:35 PM

Use an internet page as your default page.

Create your own little html and keep it on your computer. It'll save you scads of time.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Gurney
Date: 15 Feb 05 - 02:11 AM

Try to dry damp chili powder in a microwave, unless you have a deathwish.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 15 Feb 05 - 03:42 PM

......try to bathe a cat.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 15 Feb 05 - 05:04 PM

Never take off your shirt before playing your accordion.

Never clear spit from a penny whistle by blowing hard into the mouthpiece. You will floor every dog in a one mile radius.

Never upset the person who cooks your food.

DT

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 01:31 PM

forget to add your name when posting as a guest.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Layah
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 01:53 PM

Never set a piece of cake down near a knife that had recently been used to chop garlic.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 02:35 PM

If you're mixing cake batter with an electic hand mixer, and the cord comes unplugged from the mixer and the tip falls into the batter, don't take it out and lick it off without unplugging it from the wall first.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 03:06 PM

Never put a tube of either contact cement or hemmoroid cream in the area where you normally keep your toothpaste. Especially if you may not have your glasses on in the morning.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 04:18 PM

Never believe everything you see written here.
Use your own intuition and make sure you get it right!
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Don Firth
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 04:42 PM

. . . squat with your spurs on.

. . . zip up your fly without first making sure everything is properly stowed.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Padre
Date: 08 Mar 05 - 12:16 AM

Order grits in New Jersey

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Mar 05 - 10:55 AM

. . . pick up your cat for a quick cuddle if you're all dressed up to go someplace. (You'll never get that white hair off of those black slacks and sweater!)

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: JennyO
Date: 08 Mar 05 - 08:41 PM

Way back in this thread, Jim Tailor quoted the words of a song which I find myself singing every time I look in here. So I decided to post all the words:

"You Don't Mess Around With Jim"

(As recorded by Jim Croce)
JIM CROCE

Uptown got its hustlers
The bowery got its bums
Forty Second Street got Big Jim Walker
He a pool shootin' son of a gun
Yeah he big and dumb as a man can come
But he's stronger than a country hoss
And when the bad folks all get together at night
You know they all call Big Jim boss, just because

And they say you don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off an 'ole Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim

Well outa South Alabama come a country boy
He said I'm lookin' for a man named Jim
I am a pool shootin' boy, my name is Willie McCoy
But down home they call me Slim
Yeah I'm lookin' for the king of Forty Second Street
He drive an old drop-top Cadillac
And last week he took all my money, and it may sound funny
But I've come to get my money back
And everybody say Jack, ooh don't you know

That you don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off an 'ole Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim

Well a hush fell over the pool room
And Jimmy come boppin' in off the street
And when the cuttin' was done
The only part that wasn't bloody was the soles of
The big man's feet, woah
Yeah he were cut in 'bout a hundred places
And he was shot in a couple more
And you better believe they sung a different kind of story
When a Big Jim hit the floor, aw

Now they say you don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off an 'ole Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Slim

(Spoken)
Yeah Big Jim got his hat, find out where it's at
And it's not hustling people strange to you
Even if do got a two piece custom made pool cue...yea

Now they say you don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off an 'ole Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Slim.