BS: More chimp antisocial violence

Subject: BS: More chimp antisocial voilence
From: GUEST,Looby from Detroit
Date: 06 Mar 05 - 04:14 PM

Chimps have been in the headlines after a grisly assault on a Calfornia man. This is no news to me. The only reason it is considered news is because a human got attacked. Chimps are always freaking out and getting violent with gorillas and other decent primates, but you don't hear about it in the news, because the news panders to human beings only. This is the old double standard. Whitewash the chimps and deny their wrongdoings, while perpetuating ridiculous stereotypes of the "funny but lovable chimp" as in the case of the Tarzan movies with that smarmy loser, Cheetah, and stupid Disney movies and stuff like that. Meanwhile, gorillas get the short end of the stick, being cast in a negative light most of the time. Gorillas are depicted as sex-crazed and homicidal maniacs in movies going right back to the days of silent film. It's an outrage, but people just take it for granted, and that is largely due to false propaganda spread by chimps and people who hate gorillas.

Chimps are idiots, and they're dangerous. Trust me on this. They suffer from severe penis envy, because gorillas are way more built in that area. That's what's at the heart of it. They're vain too. I never saw a chimp that wouldn't spend an hour or two hooting at his reflection in the mirror and carrying on like that. It's pathetic.

I think it's high time that chimps were exposed for the antisocial misfits they really are. We are all in danger due to the presence of unstable chimps and trying to sweep it under the carpet and pretend it's not happening is not helping matters any. If I was in charge of the media I would do a major expose on this right now. And I wouldn't pull no punches. Chimps do NOT make good neighbors!

Subject: RE: BS: More chimp antisocial voilence
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Mar 05 - 04:51 PM

Dear Detroit Looby, I hope there will be no further attacks but I think the masses of humanity are safe as long as we keep reading material away from them. The chimps, that is. And for extra insurance, away from the gorillas. That may be more difficult - I'm given to understand that some gorillas are seriously addicted to the daily scandal sheets. Perhaps the gradual approach will work best.

Subject: RE: BS: More chimp antisocial voilence
From: Greg F.
Date: 06 Mar 05 - 05:38 PM

They've obviously been associating with humans WAY too much, and they're imitative by nature.

Whaddaya expect?

Subject: RE: BS: More chimp antisocial voilence
From: GUEST,old-timer
Date: 06 Mar 05 - 05:41 PM

The chimp attacked because he knows George Bush would have done the same thing thus proving a common ancestor. Now Bush and his buddies cannot deny evolution.

Subject: RE: BS: More chimp antisocial voilence
From: GUEST,Betsy Bonobo
Date: 06 Mar 05 - 06:28 PM

Well, it's about time someone exposed those loser chimps for what they really are. Oh, the girls aren't so bad. I have several chimp girlfriends and we get along just fine. It's the guys. You see, girl chimps, unlike you humans and us bonobos, go into heat and that's the only time they'll let the guys have anything to do with them. That makes for some seriously frustrated guy chimps. And since chimp sex is all about reproduction those guys get really nasty trying to make sure it's their DNA that gets replicated.

Now, we bonobos invented what you humans call "sport fucking". We are the original "make love, not war" crowd. You don't see guy bonobos worrying about passing their DNA on. They know it's going to happen 'cause you can't have sex eight or ten times a day without someone eventually getting knocked up and, if you're a guy, eventually it's going to be you that does the knocking.

Subject: RE: BS: More chimp antisocial voilence
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Mar 05 - 07:49 PM

I've seen a gorilla's and believe me, those chimps have nothing to be jealous of!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: More chimp antisocial voilence
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Mar 05 - 08:58 PM

You sure get around, Liz... (grin) (ducking and running...!)

Subject: RE: BS: More chimp antisocial voilence
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 Mar 05 - 10:28 PM

Looby, you sucker...I know where you live. I know where you hang your hat, buster. And I know what you are up to here, but it ain't gonna do you no good. You are gettin' way out on a limb that is gonna prove to weak to hold your fat body. And then...you are gonna take the fall. Hard. And I ain't gonna catch you. Got that, fat boy?

There are gorillas and gorillas. Kong was a great ape. I've got his picture on the wall in a place of honor. Kerchak is a friend of mine, and he's okay. But you, Looby, you're just a cheap, two bit bum. The North Siders in Chicago would never take you on as a soldier, Looby, cos they don't mess around with 3rd rate safecrackers and dumb yeggs like you who can't shoot straight.

But come around to Chicago anytime, Looby, and we'll see if someone can fix you up with a wooden kimono that fits real nice.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: More chimp antisocial voilence
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 12:09 AM

Looby or is it Loopy, don't put human standards on chimps.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: More chimp antisocial voilence
From: Teresa
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 12:20 AM

Oh, good, I was hoping a bonobo would speak up. :)

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: More chimp antisocial voilence
From: GUEST,Louie the Gat
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 09:15 AM

Yeah, well, all dem simians got ideas above their station, if ya knows what I mean. We take em in and teach em to work and do good jobs and they start gettin ideas, ya know? Before ya know it they want ta go to our schools an vote an all. Theyr just a bunch of dumb apes, the whole bunch of em. We auta send em all back ta where they came from, the tree-swingin banana-eaters.

And you, Chonga, you're the worst of em. Come round to Cicero, boy, and Al will be happy ta meetcha. He's got a special swimmin suit for you.

Subject: RE: BS: More chimp antisocial voilence
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 09:36 AM

I thought this was another political thread about George W. I'm sorry to have all my nice feelings for chimps dashed to the ground.

Subject: RE: BS: More chimp antisocial voilence
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 11:48 AM

No, Mike -- that sort of antisocial violence tends to be more passive-aggressive, hidden behind veils of protection and confusion so we can't point any fingers at the psychotic individual who starts them...


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