BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..

Subject: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 03:23 AM

At last an all embracing religion, not only for western pasta lovers but us noodle eaters in the far east. I shall contemplate deeply as I slurp away.



In the beginning there was the Flying Spaghetti Monster
(Filed: 11/09/2005)

In recent weeks, a satirical attack on the teaching of Creationism in American schools has become the world's fastest growing 'religion'. The Noodly Saviour looked at the furore He had created and pronounced it good, writes James Langton



For a growing band of devoted followers, He is the Supreme Being; creator of the universe and all living things. To the rest of us, the Flying Spaghetti Monster looks like a giant heap of pasta and meatballs topped with eyeballs on stalks. As it turns out, both interpretations are correct.

In the past few weeks, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has become perhaps the world's fastest-growing "religion" and maybe its most improbable. While no one can be sure of the exact numbers of "Pastafarians", as acolytes are called, they may number in the millions.

All of which has come as something of a shock to Bobby Henderson, an unemployed physics graduate from Oregon. According to Mr Henderson, the FSM - as His Noodliness is sometimes known - "revealed himself to me in a dream". Like most mysterious prophets, Mr Henderson communicates with the outside world only occasionally, although this may be more to do with having only one telephone line to his home in the small town of Corvallis and a Google e-mail account swamped by hundreds of messages every day.

Not that he ever saw himself as a rival to Mohammed or Abraham. The divine inspiration that came to the 25-year-old one night earlier this year was originally intended as a satire on attempts by some Christian groups to change the way evolution is taught in science classes in some American schools.

In particular, Mr Henderson was taking aim at the concept of Intelligent Design, or ID, which provides a supposedly scientific alternative to the Old Testament belief that God created the world in six days and nights, but which dismisses most of the fossil record as false and which relies on the Earth being far younger than geological evidence shows.

Supporters say the universe is so complex that it can only be the work of a higher intelligence. They are pushing to have it taught in science lessons as an alternative to Darwin's theory of natural selection. It has the support of many leading conservatives, including Senator Bill Frist, the Senate majority leader, and President Bush, who has said ID has a place in the classroom "so people can understand what the debate is all about".

But while the "theory" relies on the existence of a god, it does not specify which god. It was only when the state of Kansas announced earlier this year that its schools could teach ID in science classes that the Flying Spaghetti Monster made Himself widely known.

In an open letter to the Kansas Board of Education in July, Mr Henderson wrote: "I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

"I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster."

He ends his letter with the telling comment: "I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."

To support his account, he added a crudely drawn picture of the deity "creating a mountain, trees and a midget" and, as an afterthought, posted the whole thing on his website.

Barely three months later, Mr Henderson has discovered that he really has created a monster. His website - www.venganza.org - receives as many as two million hits a day. It has been featured on several widely read blogs, one of which is offering a $1 million (£545,000) prize for "proof" that the Flying Spaghetti Monster does not exist.

Some of the faithful have created images of their Divine Saucy Leader, including one that reproduces Michelangelo's Creation of Adam, but with the image of the creator replaced by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Some "Pastafarians" speak of the rapture that they felt when first touched by "His Noodly Appendage" or offer prayers that end with the word "ramen" - as in the Japanese noodle - rather than "amen". Others may have been drawn by a vision of Heaven that includes a stripper factory and a beer volcano and what its founder calls the church's "flimsy moral standards".

In addition, according to the creed of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, every Friday is a religious holiday, while true believers are urged to dress as pirates because of their founder's discovery of a causal relationship between global warming and a decline in the number of buccaneers in the past 200 years.

The serious message behind FSM, however, is not lost amid its bizarre mythology. Kansas has long been a battlefield between America's religious right and supporters of Darwin. In 1925, the Scopes Monkey Trial saw the state's unsuccessful attempt to stop the teaching of any aspect of evolution, including the theory that man and apes share a common ancestor.

More recently, conservatives have taken control of the state's board of education, pushing through a review of science teaching by a majority of six to four votes. The board is expected to endorse the teaching of ID next month, and other states are thinking of following suit.

Only three members of the Kansas School Board have replied to Mr Henderson's appeal to have Flying Spaghetti Monsterism placed on the curriculum - all of whom are opponents of ID, which they see as Creationism dressed up as a pseudo-science.

"I will add your theory to a long list of alternative theories I intend to introduce when it is appropriate,'' wrote one, Sue Gamble. "I am practising how to do this with a straight face which is difficult since it's such a ridiculous subject; it is also sad that we are even having the discussion."

It is a sentiment that Mr Henderson shares. "I don't have a problem with religion," he says. "What I have a problem with is religion posing as science. If there is a god and he's intelligent, then I would guess he has a sense of humour."

In his original appeal to Kansas, the physicist demanded that his pseudo-religion be given equal time in the classroom with both evolution and Intelligent Design. If rejected, he has promised to take legal action, with an offer of free help from at least one lawyer. Pedro Irigonegaray, who defended the teaching of evolution at the school board hearing earlier this year, says: "I have made myself available to the Spaghetti Monster as counsel of record, at no charge."

Of the thousands of e-mails Mr Henderson has received, he says that about 95 per cent have been supportive, while the other five per cent "have said I am going to hell".

One wrote: "It is interesting that evolution advocates use derision and sarcasm to deal with those who believe Intelligent Design." Another said: "I pray for mercy for you as you seem to feel so comfortable hurting and mocking the very creator who gave you the ability to do such. It's a little ironic."

Meanwhile, true believers can now order souvenirs from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster website, including T-shirts from $13.99 (£7.50), a coffee mug and a car bumper sticker. Mr Henderson says the proceeds may be used to fund the campaign or, in the best tradition of dubious cult leaders, to buy a yacht that he has long fancied. If the sales really take off, it may also help him avoid having to take up his only job offer so far since leaving Oregon State University - programming slot machines in Las Vegas.

Other recent developments include the discovery of a toasted cheese sandwich miraculously bearing the image of His Noodliness that sold for $41 (£22) in an eBay auction and a hymn whose tune at least will be familiar to members of the Women's Institute or England cricket fans. The chorus runs:

"Bring me my bowl of pasta gold!

Bring me my meatballs of desire!

Bring me my sauce with herbs untold!

Bring me my bolognese of fire!"

As for whether there will still be Pastafarians in 2,000 years from now, there are already signs of trouble ahead. Some of the faithful question whether their Noodly Saviour might be made of linguini rather than spaghetti. Such people, Mr Henderson says, "give me a headache".

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 03:53 AM

His Eminence the Farfalle of Durum, set out on an expedition to find the sauce of the Bolognese, he set off on the main Ruote out of the Ziti wearing his best Capellini but had not gone for more than half an Orzo when his Radiatore overeated, and then his carbs got blocked. A motor mechanic called Manicotti, who was Scottish in spite of his Jewish sounding name, put some more water in the car, unblocked the jets and said "I dinner ken if this will Macaroni better" The car started and the Farfalle was very happy, he offered to pay but the mechanic wouldn't take a Penne, he said "I've worked on this Rigatoni's before, so it wis nae bother pal" and off he went back home to his bonnie Lasagne.

They were nearly ih hot water there eh?

Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: Dead Horse
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 05:01 AM

Curries no favour wid me mate! If ya got any hot spicey recipes can I cajun off ya?

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: Micca
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 05:07 AM

so its " on to fresh foods and pastas new" then?

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: GUEST,Fullerton
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 05:35 AM

At last a religion you can EAT.

I've been saved.

and seen the light...

...... etc...

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: gnu
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 05:37 AM

Blasphemy! I am a Frisbeeterian. I believe that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and you can't get it down.

Pasta noodles please.

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 07:06 AM

How about the heretical sect of Agnocchis?

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 07:45 AM

Don't forget St Ignatius Bishop of Antipasto 1st Century martyr.
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 09:38 AM

Wilkiepedia have a page on it, including an ancient painting by Michaelangelo showing the ceiling of the Sistene chapel, before it was painted over with a more 'mainstream' view of the 'supreme being'

CHEERS
Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: freda underhill
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 10:05 AM

was that CHEERS nigel or CHEESE?

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 10:48 AM

Freda:

if it was CHEESE, then with pasta it would have to be PARMESAN

Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: GUEST,Fullerton
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 10:54 AM

If baptism for these guys includes immersion in boiling water for four and half minutes ..... well they can forget it.

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: JennyO
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 11:09 AM

That might be your PENNE-nce.

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 11:38 AM

My Italian friend Pasta Al Dente.
G

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: Peace
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 08:40 PM

Spaghetti, from spago, "cord"
Linguini, "little tongues"
Vermicelli, "little worms"
Conchiglie, "shells"
Rigatoni, "furrows," short, wide fluted tubes
Lasagna, broad, sometime ruffled, ribbons of pasta (from Latin for "pot")
Fettucine," "small ribbons"
Ravioli, "little turnips"
Rotini, "spirals" or "twists"
Capellini (angel hair), "fine hairs"
Fusilli, "little spindles" (spirals)
Penne, "quills"
Tortellini, "little cakes"
Cannelloni, tube-or cane-shaped pasta

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: open mike
Date: 11 Sep 05 - 09:11 PM

squigglini = rotelli

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 05:00 AM

Agnocchis unite!

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 05:16 AM

The Dublin Fusilli
G

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: Wolfgang
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 08:14 AM

Fun thread. I liked best the agnocchi.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: GUEST,Fullerton
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 09:16 AM

If you think this thread is funny

I got http://www.BenevolentDesign.com/ link by clicking on one of the adverts at the bottom of this mudcat page!

It's an intelligent design (Anti-Darwin)website.

They claim to disprove Darwin disprove Darwinism by using good astrology. Oh and they can make you a fortune on the stock market too - with astrology.

Where's my pasta bowl?

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: Firecat
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 10:53 AM

LOL!!! The amount of wheat based product (conventionally served with cheese) that I eat, I'm starting to get worried! :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 10:56 AM

It may be astro Fullerton, but is it logical?
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: pdq
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 11:52 AM

Pastafarians tend to make unreliable employees - their always getting into the sauce.

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 02:01 PM

Ah, Pasta! Shanhaiceltic has already started this thread. At least I checked before dishing up the whole thing again. It will serve him right if hot meatballs rain down on him!

Where have the Old Gods gone?

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: MMario
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 02:10 PM

Heretics! It is not a Flying Spaghetti Monster - no, indeed it is not! Any intelligent being with the sense our Creator gave us should realize that the Supreme Being is the Levitating Tagliatelle Entity

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: Alice
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 02:10 PM

The pirate chart is hilarious. I'm sure I'll begin to see bumperstickers of the fish skeleton with pirate patch or the FSM logo.

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 12 Sep 05 - 08:03 PM

Monty Python Adepts will remember the "Brian Gourd/Sandal Wars"...

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: JennyO
Date: 13 Sep 05 - 12:26 AM

Friend of mine wrote a song called "Jesus is the pasta in my life". I must get the words off him.

Oh Ken.......

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 13 Sep 05 - 06:55 AM

He hurt my foot!

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 13 Sep 05 - 07:14 AM

Look I had a perfectly respectable profession begging, then this guy came along and cured me and sure, I could walk again, but now I'm out of a job...

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 13 Sep 05 - 07:37 AM

Are there any women here today?

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: JennyO
Date: 13 Sep 05 - 09:24 AM

Hello - yes. I'm a woman, at least I was last time I looked.

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 Sep 05 - 11:10 AM

Mirrors are wonderful things Jenny
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Pastafarians......Intelligent Design..
From: Mingulay
Date: 13 Sep 05 - 06:05 PM

Does this thread have anything to do with recent sightings of the Dubious Dumpling Deity, apparently last seen loitering near a large container of beef stew? Or have I gone stark raving bonkers again (the 5th time this week). How can anyone be anti Darwin and upset the good citizens of a Lancashire town and an Australian city?