BS: Vasectomy Stories...

Subject: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Oct 05 - 10:24 PM

Well, well, well...

SDeein' as the chicken flu got holt of me and I'll prolly be dead by mornin' ('er not) I figgured that I would start this thread to give a ll my fellow Mudcat males a chance to tell their stories...

Fir me, it was back 'round 15 'er 17 yeras gao and me and my fisrt wife had figgurated that it was timwe to get her off "the pill" an get my butt on the cuttin' table.../

So I made an apppointment at a familee plannin' joint and drove a big old hoopdie down there to drive home since thay tolt me that I was gonna be sore on the way home...

So I shoe up and they have this little orientation thing, which unfortuneatley was interrupted by bomb sniffin dogs.... Hey, this was a planned parenthood cneter and' bomb sniffin' dogs were part of the deal...

No matter...

I weren't gonna be distratced by a bunch of flea bit hounds so I stayed and then...

"Mr. Bobert, Room 2...."

So I goes to Room 2 and am told to "take it off' and I know 'nuff 'bout the way stuff works so I know they ain'ty talkin; no tee-shirt here...

So Ix takes *it* off and then in to the room come three, count 'um, nurses to purdy much watch what is about tyo occur??? Like one real doctor and 3 wome3nz standin' 'round watchin' to make sure he;s gettin' the job done...

Well, I can't hink of a more embarressin' half hour of my life but Iz sure there's somethin' that I did real stupid to compete wioth this experience, but, fir the life of me, I can't pull it up in me rememberator...

Yeah, I know it ain't purdy fri the womenz to get their feets put in irons fir their exams but, hey, vasectomy ain't no day at the beach either...

That's a diein' man's story and Iz stickin' to it...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Dead Horse
Date: 18 Oct 05 - 11:00 PM

A diein' man's story. eh!
What color did ya die it?

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Peace
Date: 18 Oct 05 - 11:03 PM

He didn't die it? He's got the flu and ain't eatin' well. That ain't a die it!

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 06:28 AM

Sure they dogs were bomb sniffers and not just bum sniffers? Or did they think you were packing something explosive?

Please God, I want to come back as a butt sniffing dog!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Dead Horse
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 06:37 AM

My butt aint ta be sniffed at!

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 06:54 AM

Circumcision and now vasectomy on BS? Girls, I feel a hysterectomy/childbirth thread coming...well it is the age of equality, innit? Gotta correct the balance and let the guys know the meaning of the word Suffering..!

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: jacqui.c
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 08:26 AM

My brother had a vasectomy at the Marie Stopes clinic in London about twenty years ago.

He got the business done, rested for the required period and then set off, on his motorbike, back to his army base in Germany.

Now, our family does have pretty good recuperative ability and a reasonably high pain threshold but, by the time he completed the journey he had got to thinking that maybe he'd have been better flying that sitting astride that bike.

To add insult to injury, within a year he contracted mumps, with the side complication that sometimes occurs. He was so pissed off that he'd spent money on something that then came naturally!

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 08:36 AM

As I've always said, there's a vas deferens between men and women.

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: GUEST,still wondering ...
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 10:14 AM

If there's a doctor in the house, I'd appreciate some insights as I've always wondered about this ...

Had my first baby at 19, and a set of twins 4 years later.   They hadn't invented a "Pill" yet that didn't whack me with a load of nauseating side effects; I'd become pregnant both times while using contraceptive devices touted by public health officials as "97-99% effective" (LOL!) At 23, I figured 3 kids was more than enough already, so I asked my gynecologist to "fix" me after the babies were born.

He absolutely refused. Said I was way 'too young' for that, and nothing I could say convinced him otherwise. So my husband, only 22 at the time, asked the family doctor about a vasectomy. And surprise of all surprises, the doctor referred him to a urologist without even batting a eye, and he got himself snipped a couple weeks later.

My question is - why IS it ok to snip a 22 year old man who requests it - but not a 23 yr old woman? Is this standard procedure, or is it sexism, or is it due to 'atypical doctoring' in my family's case?

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 10:29 AM

Hmmmmmm, Guest/Still Wondering. Maybe it's related to or part of a biological purpose we don't acknowledge or even scarcely recognize? I have sometimes thought that the historical reason most warriors/pawns/sacrifices are male is because while women have an imposed limit to the number of children they can bear, men can reproduce themselves many times over so that it takes fewer men to perpetuate a species or repopulate a civilization making them more expendable.

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Mooh
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 10:34 AM

The surgeon that performed my vasectomy was having a bad day or something. Lousy bedside manner, gruff and dismissive. Stuff was left in me, infection set in, weeks of discomfort, and...um...lack of performance. Finally I was riding home from work one day when my coveralls filled with blood and puss, even stained the truck seat. I refused to return to the hospital as that was where the problem started, and made my GP fix me up in his office. Luckily, my GP was a very decent and understanding sort of guy. Loads of antibiotics and another couple of weeks later I was back to normal, whatever that is.

Frankly, I wouldn't do it again.

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: GUEST,Slim Eric
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 11:32 AM

My brother has a Pontiac but he says he's getting one of those vasectomies next week. I dont even know what one looks like.

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: GUEST,Slim Eric
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 11:35 AM

I expected some juicy snippets or is it snip its in this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 01:59 PM

Bobert, why the hell do we have to read about your pecker and listen to other people's vasectomy stories? Have you got a screw loose?

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: s&r
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 02:32 PM

His name was chris and this is his story:

Everyone told me it didn't hurt much, so I wasn't too scared: I lay on the bed and the nurse sweabbed me with alcohol. and painted me with gentian violet I think.

The doctor approached with a needle, and said "Just a little scratch Mr White" He stretched my scrotum over my testicle, and stuck the needle into the plum itself. The agony was unbelievable, but only lasted a second or so. Then he started pumping the anaesthetic in: sweat broke out all over, I felt sick, my eyes blurred, I wanted to scream (I may have). I would have confessed anything. Then the anaesthetic started to work. The pain vanished. My breathing returned to normal, and I thought that at least the worst was over...

"There, that wasn't too bad Mr White, was it.? Now we'll just see to the other one..."

Stu

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Mooh
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 02:37 PM

Guest...Oh I don't know, beats the fuck out of another Bush thread!

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 02:37 PM

Which part of 'Vasectomy Stories' didn't you understand?

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: GUEST,still wondering
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 02:52 PM

"...men can reproduce themselves many times over so that it takes fewer men to perpetuate a species or repopulate a civilization making them more expendable."

Ebbie, that's quite the interesting hypothesis. Thanks!

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 02:53 PM

Oh, dear me, Stu.

Once when I was planning a car trip with my four-year-old daughter she was exposed to measles (I think) and I didn't want her coming down sick on the trip so I took her off to the doctor to see what could be done.

He said that it wasn't a guarantee but that a GG (gamma globulin) shot would give her greater immunity so I said OK.

I carefully explained to my daughter that the shot would hurt but that it would be over very quickly. She put on her brave face and held out her arm. She winced with the shot but smiled when it was over and turned to me. Then the nurse said, Now, the second shot goes in the other arm.

My daughter cried. I felt absolutely awful. If we had known there had to be two shots I could have helped prepare her.

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 03:10 PM

As I've said in another thread, my old uncle went to Sears for an on sale cut-rate (no pun intended) vasectomy----and now when he is aroused his garage door goes up.

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 04:25 PM

I would imagine, Art, that these days he has some difficulty getting the car out of the garage in a timely fashion?

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 06:49 PM

Some of the boys (no girls were involved, thankfully) down at the Legion Hovel last night decided to vasectomize Skinny. Something about somebody's daughter; I didn't catch all of it. Anyway, they had all the surgical implements -- chain saw, manure fork, rope, tire chains, handcuffs, anvil, old tires, a truck jack, half a dozen two-by-fours, a sledge hammer, some Visqueen -- but old Skinny give 'em the slip and was last seen crossin' the top of Mt. Howard, headin' north at about 120 mph, his boot soles a-smokin' and tryin' to git traction on a scree slope.

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Bobert
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 07:35 PM

Well, I sho nuff wouldn't have to had to ride a motorcycle within' a month of mine... Yeah.ome folks do real well and in a week they are fine... Toook a couple months fir the pain and discoloration went away...

Ahhhh.ereading my original post I kinda left out a little of the story... The reason the bomb sniffin' dogs were there is because someone3 had called in a bomb threat that particular day...

I mighta taken that has a sign from God to get the heck out... Three of us were scheduled that day an' one guy left... Prolly has half a dozen kids now an' doin' time fir not payin' child support but...

Nevermind...

No motorcycle rides fir the first couple months and ridin' horses??? Never again...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Deckman
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 07:58 PM

Have you noticed that I have purposfully avoided this thread ... until now! I was clipped many years ago. Our family doctor did the procedure in his office ... no big deal. Except that, just afterwards, he walked into the waiting room and approached my wife. He hung his head down, spoke very low and mournfully, and said ... "I just know don't what happened ... and I'm VERY sorry ... perhaps we can do a transplant?" (true story).

I have heard that the look on my wife's face was priceless ... I missed it as I was still getting dressed.

It was only after the good doctor and his wife took us out to supper, sometime later, than my wife forgave him. CHEERS, Bob(deckman)Nelson

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Oct 05 - 10:47 PM

That is too funny, deckman.

I have a question though. Why do men have such different experiences with the procedure? I can see why hysterectomies affect women differently- it is very invasive and people's health and pain thresholds vary tremendously. But why so a vasectomy, which seems a fairly straightforward, well-understood process?

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 09:34 AM

Because, while we're all pretty much the same, we're all only PRETTY MUCH the same.

And as a physician once told me, "Any breaking of the skin, no matter how small, is invasive and carries risk."

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 04:29 PM

I had to have an 'interview' before mine. Now, laying on a couch with no trolleys on while the missus sits next to you drinking tea and the doc asks all sorts of odd questions got me in a funny mood to say the least.

Interview over. Trousers back on. We exit to a very full waiting room. I lean heavily on Mrs G's shoulder and, bending almost double, beging to cry 'I didn't think they would do it there and then...'

I think fully half the waiting room left. The male half of course:-)

Cheers

DtG
(and it's true!)

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: bobad
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 04:56 PM

There is a technique called the no-scalpel vasectomy for those looking for a kinder, gentler sterilization, info here

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 05:28 PM

Thanks for the giggle, DavetG. LOL

I have an interesting story that I will present without commentary. Make of it what you will.

After they had their two children, my niece's husband decided upon a vasectomy. It was his idea but my niece agreed, and they had it done.

He was to go back for his 'count checkup' several months (?) later but in the meantime - and unrelated to the surgery - he developed a very bad back. H was so bad that he was often off work.

Now, my niece and her husband are very religious and of the charismatic persuasion. At one revival type meeting her husband went forward to have his back prayed for- and lo presto! it was healed.

A few weeks later he went for his sperm oount check. The doctor, in puzzlement, said something to the effect that 'there is no indication that you ever had the vasectomy. Evidently it didn't take. Shall we do it over?

Her husband agreed and they had it done and the next checkup showed the proper reduction/elimination of sperm.

??

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: frogprince
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 08:58 PM

Which, Ebbie, reminds me of somethin' a couple of years back. A layman in our church got an outside preacher invited to speak at men's meeting night. Said preacher gave us an "inspiring" account of how he had once had a vasectomy, but repented of it. He read the admonition in Genesis to "be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth", so he went in for vasectomy reversal, it took, and he started pumping out more kids. I had a chance to talk to our associate pastor later that evening; his take on it was, "wasn't that pitiful".

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Peace
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 09:07 PM

I once heard that vasectomy meant never having to say you're sorry.

Leaving now.

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 05 - 09:19 PM

Vasectomy? No kidding!

Subject: RE: BS: Vasectomy Stories...
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 05:39 AM

Had mine done about 12 years ago in the UK. No problem at all. The disconcerting thing was to be told to shave yer own nether regions and be handed an NHS razor (luckily not a cut throat) and a mirror.

Also lying on the table whilst a green cloth with the window is placed over the goolies makes one feel a tad 'exposed'.

Mine was done a day or so before the company Xmas do so I wasn't dancing around too much either.

The main consideration is that it is permanent, I did not envisage a divorce and a new marriage. And we both would like children.