Obit: My mother

Subject: Obit: My mother
From: Midchuck
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 09:41 AM

Link.

Peter.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 09:43 AM

What a woman!

~Susan

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Gern
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 09:45 AM

So sorry; little in life hits as hard as this. Is that the famous Breadloaf Writers Conference she directed at Middlebury? That's said to be the very best. She must have been a gifted person who had a rewarding life.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 09:46 AM

Commiserations Peter, it sounds as though she had a good life though, and a close family. Cherish her memory and celebrate her life.
Giok

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: kendall
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 09:49 AM

Peter, you have my deepest heartfelt sympathy. It is so hard to let go of someone that special.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 10:04 AM

Deepest condolances, Peter. Sounds like she was a wonderful person who had a great life. How fortunate you are to be her son.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 10:18 AM

You have my sympathy and virtual hugs, Peter. May love and your memories of happy times together comfort you.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Mooh
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 10:21 AM

Peter...Very sorry to hear this. It sounds like she made the best of life and helped many people. My condolences to you and yours.

Peace and prayers, Mooh.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Midchuck
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 10:38 AM

Is that the famous Breadloaf Writers Conference she directed at Middlebury? That's said to be the very best.

No. This was a local community group. The Breadloaf Conference is operated by real pros - mostly "name" writers.

The folk music significance of the Breadloaf Conference is that I believe it is where "Stoppin by Woods on a Snowy Evening" was first sung to the tune of "Hernando's Hideaway," by a group of the student waiters, when Robert Frost, who lived right near there, was dining there.

Peter.

PS. My dad was Robert Frost's editor for a period of years. When we were kids and staying at Lake Dunmore, he went up to Frost's farm to confer with him and took us to visit. While they were closeted, we got to help with some farm chores, the principal one of which was cleaning up a small donkey that had gotten himself very muddy. At least most of it was mud. Ever since then I have been fond of announcing in literary or poetry gatherings, when people are dropping names, that "I washed Robert Frost's ass once."

P.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 10:50 AM

Sorry, Peter, it looks like she was a remarkable lady. I suppose (not been there buts would hate to lose my mum) the thing to remeber is just what you had and what she gave.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Alice
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 10:53 AM

Peter, my sympathy for the loss of your mother. Yes, what a woman!
I realize now that I have gone to your daughter's clinic here and she has been my physician in the past. My condolences to you and all your family.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Leadfingers
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 11:23 AM

Dont mourn her death , celebrate her life , which seems to have been a good one ! And Eighty Eight is a damn good innings !

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 11:31 AM

Condolences, Peter. She sounds a good person to have had in one's life. I would like to have known her.

(That's a good story, Peter.)

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 12:17 PM

Thanks for sharing her with us, Peter. Reading about how remarkable she was, I am not surprised you are the way you are.

Love the Frost story, wish my parents were hear to hear it. They both loved his works.

IN peace and good memories,

Kat & Rog

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 12:20 PM

As you cope with the emotional/psychological aftermath of your mother's death find some person who knows you very well, but is slightly removed from the closest personal space you inhabit, to watch you for signs of shock. It manifests itself in weird ways when the result of a trauma such as this. Your family should watch each other, but they may all have their own peculiar versions of this reaction--and it may be delayed 6 months-2 years. The brain goes on "tilt" at some point when your subconcious "gets it". (The part of your mother that became you was already present in her body at her birth, and the concept of a world without her is difficult to grasp, apparently.) Talk to your siblings, nieces, nephews, etc. Such a family should be able to protect each other by lovingly watching out for problems. Buy extra tissue and have it in every room. Carry those little pocket packs. Don't expect "the grieving process" to follow any distinct path or channel. You may find yourselves in any or all of the "stages" during any 5-second interval that occurs. Expect moods/emotions to fluctuate like someone with bi-polar disorder. Eat healthily, just to help with general physical health. The most any of you can do for each other is to hold the extra tissue when it's necessary, no matter how much you wish you could relieve what pain may be there. Your true friends won't expect you to "get over" anything in a specific time. They'll just do what they can to stand by you however you are affected by this loss at any given moment. And they should keep extra tissue, too. Love each other and each of you write your own personal memories of this remarkable woman. For those who are too young or will be born later--that they should know this relative and how she affected lives around her. God Bless.          Tw

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 01:02 PM

No matter how old you are, it is always hard to lose a parent. You were very lucky in having your mom there for so long. Take care of yourself.

SRS

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: M.Ted
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 03:01 PM

My condolences as well, Peter. The picture is wonderful, and, perhaps fitting for someone who has been a teacher of writing, her obituary is full of the vibrance of her life. Her life seemed to be so full of giving, and in a time where selfishness and self-absorption are so prevalent, it is refreshing and comforting to know that there are still people who care about others so much.

Writing is the most important skill there is, but teaching it is not easy, because it requires patience, care, and the ability to evoke real understanding from your students. I know that you are feeling great pain from her loss, but your mother left a great legacy, because she taught people to think, and to communicate their thoughts. You should be very proud of her.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: fat B****rd
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 03:36 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. Best regards from fB.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Peace
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 03:40 PM

My sincere condolences, Peter. It's never easy, but time has a way of making the loss more bearable. She sounds like a wonderful gal.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Helen
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 03:51 PM

Love, light & hugs from Oz, too. I can say that after 3 years I am now getting over the shock of suddenly losing my Mum, and especially of not being able to say goodbye. Believe what Tannywheeler says because the pain and other reactions can hit you at different times and stages, out of the blue.

She seems to be a remarkable woman, and you will get to the stage of rejoicing in her life rather than feeling the pain of her loss.

My Mum's presence is still around us at times. She comes to visit and then goes on her way again. Even if you don't feel your Mother's presence, which you may not feel for at least 3 and maybe up to 6 months, at least know that she is there at times, just to come and say hello, give you her love, and see if you are all right.

Helen

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Sorcha
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 04:02 PM

Oh, Peter, I'm so sorry.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 04:17 PM

I am sorry for your loss, Peter, but glad she had time to say her "Goodbyes" and drift away in her sleep. Celebrate her life.
Mary

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: GUEST,bflat
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 04:32 PM

My sinserest condolences to you and your family. What an honor to have been blessed with a mother such as she.

Ellen

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Justa Picker
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 05:15 PM

Heartfelt condolences.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Hollowfox
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 05:34 PM

My heart goes out to you and yours, Peter. There are no new words can add to the vocabulary already posted by everyone before me, but as soon as I get home in a few minutes, I will light a candle to celebrate her life. She was a fine wisw woman, and she raised a good kid. Love, Mary

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Bobert
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 05:47 PM

I'm so sorry to read of yer mom's passing, Peter...

I read the obit and she was very much in the game from start to finish so I tip my glass to her fir her big, big spirit..

Bobert

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 05:57 PM

Dear Peter: So sorry to read this. I feel some connection because I occasionally had an involvement with Low Heywood school when I was Director of the Stamford Museum, around the corner.

We send our love and prayers to you and your family.

Jerry and Ruth

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: gnu
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 06:15 PM

It is the hardest thing that we have to do. Thoughts and prayers and, as Giok said, cherish her memory and celebrate her life. God rest and peace be with you.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Mary Katherine
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 06:34 PM

Sincere condolences on your difficult loss. -- Mary Katherine

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Azizi
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 07:30 PM

My condolences to you also.

May the wonderful memories that you have of your mother provide some measure of comfort and warmth.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Big Mick
Date: 03 Dec 05 - 11:16 PM

First Peter, let me congratulate you on the great good fortune of having this wonderful woman in your life. From what I can glean from the story, you have been blessed with a strong woman to guide you through the travails. I was pretty envious as I read about her life. When I came to the end of the story, and read that she felt blessed in her life and in her death, I knew that you and your sisters, and the grandchildren were very fortunate that this matriarch was in all of your lives. Her song will be easy to find in your voices.

Lastly, let me offer my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your Mom. God be good to her.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Jeanie
Date: 04 Dec 05 - 04:40 AM

What a wonderful woman, and a life well lived. Thinking of you and all her family,
With Love
- jeanie

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 04 Dec 05 - 06:24 AM

Oh, Peter, I am so sorry for your loss. What an amazing woman. Thanks so much for sharing her story with us. I was especially delighted that she took up painting in 1992- proof that there's always time to start something new.
Many blessings and love to you and your family as you learn to live without Marjory's presence on this earth.
And remember- love never dies.

Allison

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: KT
Date: 04 Dec 05 - 07:08 AM

Peter, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman who lived life well, and to the fullest. I find myself sitting here in the wee hours, thinking about how many lives she has touched and made richer by her presence. Wishing peace to you and your family as you walk through this time.

KT

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: open mike
Date: 04 Dec 05 - 02:06 PM

Thank you for sharing this with us, Peter. I hope that the
thoughts and wishes of all your mudcat friends can help lighten
the load of your loss.

some of my ancesters from long ago were from Rutland Vermont..
from 1797!

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: bbc
Date: 04 Dec 05 - 10:10 PM

So sorry to hear, Peter. Reading the obituary, I noticed that your sister, Janet, lives very close to me. I am in Copake, NY, if she ever needs a local resource.

best,

Barbara

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: DonMeixner
Date: 04 Dec 05 - 10:35 PM

My deepest regrets Peter.

Don

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Janie
Date: 05 Dec 05 - 09:04 AM

I'm so sorry, Peter. Holding her, you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Janie

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: ranger1
Date: 05 Dec 05 - 09:14 AM

So sorry for your loss.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: Guy Wolff
Date: 05 Dec 05 - 09:44 AM

Peter thanks for the link . Your Moms picture makes me think she was someone I have met .THere is a writers workshop in Litchfield Ct. and I wonder if she stopped at my shop over the last 35 years some time ... At any rate she is definatly of the family of people I grew up with .. The stength of purpose and search for whats next around the corner is in her eye just shows in her picture . The guiding force almost obligation to this family of interesting people seemed to be finding thier own potencial in what ever they did and in some way makeing the world a better place . With out knowing her I am possitive she inspired many around her .. The baton is passed my friend .Hold her high .. all the best , guy

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: GUEST,saulgoldie
Date: 05 Dec 05 - 10:08 AM

Sorry to hear of your loss, Peter. It sounds like she had a pretty good run, but that does not diminish the sadness. My condolences.

Saul

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: KathWestra
Date: 05 Dec 05 - 07:40 PM

Dear Peter,
"...she asked her family's permission to let go into the Mystery..." What worlds that phrase says about your Mom and her spirit and your family! Thank you for sharing it with us, and know that my heart is with you as you ponder the Mystery and mourn the absence of a woman who was clearly extraordinary. And do heed Tannywheeler's advice. Grief is not a predictable or time-limited thing, and it does sneak up on you in unexpected ways. Peace to you. Kathy

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: jacqui.c
Date: 06 Dec 05 - 09:12 AM

So sorry to hear this Peter. All my good thoughts are with you.

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 06 Dec 05 - 03:22 PM

Ah, Peter,

After reading those vivid words on the life of your mother, I am left feeling I knew her. Would it were true that I had! I feel real sadness and the welling of actual tearful emotions. And I am hoping I, too, have the living presence at the end to know --- and see my way into that mystery.

All the best to you and yours.

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: SunnySister
Date: 06 Dec 05 - 07:02 PM

Dear Peter,

Your mother clearly was a wonderful and giving person. Such much service to the world and to the arts. Amazing lady to be sure.

I send you my condolences to you and your family, Peter/, I understand too well the huge hole that is left when such a spirit moves from this world to the next.

I am heartened to hear of her leaving- that she was able to say goodbye as much as possible and able to ask you and those who loved her, to let her go. I volunteer for Hospice here in the Bay Area and I know that she was ready when I read that. "Ready" what a word... I guess what I meant was that while none of us who are left are really ready, it's nice to know that she was ready to meet the next adventure. I hope you were given some measure of peace in the way, grace and dignity of her passing.

Into the Mystery, dear Marjory. What a blessing to this Earth to have such a lady as you here for the time that you were.

SunnySister- who still misses her mother every day since she passed a little over 10 years ago.

P.S. Peter- from your Frost story, I can definitely see that you still have your humor- that will help. Loved that story!

Subject: RE: Obit: My mother
From: maire-aine
Date: 06 Dec 05 - 07:11 PM

Dear Peter,

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Thank you for sharing her story with us.

Love & peace,

Maryanne