BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered

Subject: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 09:14 AM

WHen you love music, it permeates your life. On the good side, song titles and fragments are constantly flowing through your days. It seems like there's a song for every occasion, and every emotion. Songs can remind me of lessons I've learned and forgotten, over and over again. They can give comfort when I'm upset and laughter when I'm ready to bite someone's head off.

So much for the good stuff.

The flip side is those song titles or bars that you can't get out of your head. The How Much Is That Doggie In The Window songs. And then, there are the mutations of legitimate songs that suddenly appear full-blown, that won't go away. I'm talking about the ones that are pun-filled. Not necessarily fun-filled.

This last week, my wife and I and one of our sons have been refinishing the floors in our house. We rented a sander and cleaned the floors down to bare wood, and then stained them. After we finished staining them, we put a sealer on the floors. And today, we'll finish the job. For the last couple of days, the same STOOPID song has been running through my head : "Stained, sealed and delivered, I'm yours." It is an embarassment.

DO you have dumb stuff like this happen, or is it just me?

Still stoopid after all these years

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 09:21 AM

I can't hear Strangers in the Night without remembering an occasion when it became Strangers in your Tights, I leave the occasion up to your imagination.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 09:26 AM

Oh, yeah. Last Sunday in church one of the songs was to the tune of "Star of the County Down." I remarked to my wife, sotto voce of course, that next we'd hear one sung to the tune of "Stewball." That did it -- all week I've been thinking up church songs to the tune of "Stewball", both the PP&M version and the one done by the Chad Mitchell Trio.

"Jesus was a good Guy
And he had some Great Bread...."

"Come all you sinners, gather 'round,
And listen to my story
It's of a dude named Jesus,
Who died to make you holy...."

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 09:28 AM

Then there was

"Girls in black leather with whips and with lashes...."

sung to the tune of "My favorite things."

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Alba
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 09:33 AM

ROFL! Both of you...ya maddies or you funny men...(that explaination was for Jerry's benefit Giok **grin** you know what a maddie is I am sure, your reading one right now)

It's not a song title but I always feel the need to alter a line in the Song
'Walking in a Winter Wonderland' and it goeslike this.....

Later on, we'll *perspire*,
As we dream by the fire
To face unafraid,
The plans that we've made,
Walking in a winter wonderland.

( yukky eh! *conspire* is far more pleasant word for the line in question but perspire makes sense to me.)

There are song titles though that just scream to be adjusted to fit the occasion...of course I can't think of any right now but I am sure I will..groan...:)
Love to all
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 09:51 AM

I think of it as

"Later on, we'll expire,
And we'll fall
In the fire...."

I also think of

"Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Purple Foxx
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 10:01 AM

"There she was just a-walkin' down the street
singin' do what daddy did to mummy to have me"

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 10:05 AM

The halls are alive
With the sound of Muuuzak...
The lifts with the songs they have sung
For a thousand floors...

Don't let it getcher, jerry -- it's the sure sign of a fertile soul, fighting its way through materialistic clutter, a sign of life fighting back! :D

A

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 10:14 AM

From: Rapaire - PM
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 09:28 AM

Then there was

"Girls in black leather with whips and with lashes...."

sung to the tune of "My favorite things."

Would work equally well to "Knights in White Satin, Rap.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: leftydee
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 10:25 AM

How strange that you brought this subject up. I'm working on a song now called Earworm that addresses the songs stuck in your head. I'll send it to you as soon as I get it recorded.

Catchy tune inside my head,
on my feet or in my bed,
makes me wish that I was dead,
It's driving me insane!

Earworm (can't let it drop)
Earworm (please make it stop)
Earworm (please make it go away) etc

Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Scoville
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 11:11 AM

I once got 'Delta Dawn' stuck in my head for two weeks. I thought I'd need counseling.




I have a country-gospel record that includes the song that goes "I pray to your Apostles every night" and the other day in the car it became "I pray to your opossums every night." I mostly don't go in for religious music but this one has definitely been spoilt for me.

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Windsinger
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 11:16 AM

Is there a way to cross-reference this with the "Earworm" thread? :P

(Or does Joe and the clones have to set that up?)

Slán,

~Fionn

www.geocities.com/children_of_lir

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 11:16 AM

I don't know, scoville... I kinda like that one. Opposums may have hidden powers we're not fully aware of..

But you're right... sometimes you can darned near ruin a song permanently when a dumb alternative line pops into your head.

And then there are the dumb images. There's a song that says something like "You lifted me so high that I could almost see eternity," and when I hear it I always think... maybe if you stood on your tiptoes, you could..

Dumb knows no limits.

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 11:19 AM

"Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear!"

and Pogo (Walt Kelly) ruined, for all time, "Good King Wenseslas" with "Good King Sauerkraut looked out, on his feets uneven"

and "Deck Us All With Boston Charlie" too..

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 11:27 AM

Don't know if this is well know, but Peter Bellamy sang the Kipling poem Cold Iron. I've put the lyrics below.

A few months back, my mind was wandering, and turned it in Cold Beer....



Cold Iron

Gold is for the mistress -- silver for the maid --
Copper for the craftsman cunning at his trade."
"Good!" said the Baron, sitting in his hall,
"But Iron -- Cold Iron -- is master of them all."

So he made rebellion 'gainst the King his liege,
Camped before his citadel and summoned it to siege.
"Nay!" said the cannoneer on the castle wall,
"But Iron -- Cold Iron -- shall be master of you all!"

Woe for the Baron and his knights so strong,
When the cruel cannon-balls laid 'em all along;
He was taken prisoner, he was cast in thrall,
And Iron -- Cold Iron -- was master of it all!

Yet his King spake kindly (ah, how kind a Lord!)
"What if I release thee now and give thee back thy sword?"
"Nay!" said the Baron, "mock not at my fall,
For Iron -- Cold Iron -- is master of men all."

"Tears are for the craven, prayers are for the clown --
Halters for the silly neck that cannot keep a crown."
"As my loss is grievous, so my hope is small,
For Iron -- Cold Iron -- must be master of men all!"

Yet his King made answer (few such Kings there be!)
"Here is Bread and here is Wine -- sit and sup with me.
Eat and drink in Mary's Name, the whiles I do recall
How Iron -- Cold Iron -- can be master of men all!"

He took the Wine and blessed it. He blessed and brake the Bread.
With His own Hands He served Them, and presently He said:
"See! These Hands they pierced with nails, outside My city wall,
Show Iron -- Cold Iron -- to be master of men all."

"Wounds are for the desperate, blows are for the strong.
Balm and oil for weary hearts all cut and bruised with wrong.
I forgive thy treason -- I redeem thy fall --
For Iron -- Cold Iron -- must be master of men all!"

"Crowns are for the valiant -- sceptres for the bold!
Thrones and powers for mighty men who dare to take and hold!"
"Nay!" said the Baron, kneeling in his hall,
"But Iron -- Cold Iron -- is master of men all!
Iron out of Calvary is master of men all!"

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 11:55 AM

'Yankee Doodle', inserted mindfully, I'm told, will take out any ear worm.

Other odd things happen when we're asleep. You know how there is always a song running when you wake up? This morning to a tune I heard just recently I found a scrap of a song of mine that I haven't thought of in years, probably: "I don't know all the reasons for life's changing seasons but whate'er it may bring is what must be..."

Where do they come from? Why? Who is working at the desk?

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: frogprince
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 03:22 PM

True story (at least this didn't mess up a particulary good song for me): 1967, strolling around the San Diego Zoo; the sound of "Yellow
Balloon" was wafting from nearby speakers just when I looked up to see the sign "Yellow Baboon". The title line has been "Like a yellow baboon" for me ever since.

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: RangerSteve
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 03:46 PM

There's two countries in the Middle East that get in the news a lot these days, and when I hear them mentioned, the refrain from "Strangers in the Night" starts running through my head: Abu Dhabi doo, Dubai da de da....

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 03:56 PM

When I was a kid I thought I'd go nuts after hearing a parody of "Seventy-six trombones" and having it stuck in my head for a couple of weeks.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 04:34 PM

I couldn't help it, even though it is more than a little macabre. From some years back:

"Hootu, Tutsi, goodbye..."

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 07:01 PM

I think "Stained, sealed and delivered, I'm yours." would make a good political song.

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Ron Davies
Date: 16 Mar 06 - 11:41 PM

It used to be possible to take "Long Black Veil" fairly seriously (with a little suspension of disbelief). But then I heard

"Now the scaffold is high and eternity's near.
She stood in the crowd--and had hotdogs and beer"

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Alba
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 12:36 AM

ROFL Ron....well that's blown it for me now!

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: melodeonboy
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 05:39 AM

Until recently I performed with a folk band in Qatar (Middle East).

We adapted the fourth (royalist) verse of "Twanky Dillo" (Copper Family) thus:

"Here's a health to Sheikh Hamad, and likewise his bint,
And to all the Al-Thanis, may they never be skint,
Which makes the oil prices to rise and to fall........."

Closer to home, is there anyone out there who has heard "Jazz; delicious hot, disgusting cold" by the Bonzo Dog Band and is still able to sit through a trad jazz concert without smirking?

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: melodeonboy
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 07:34 AM

'ere, why is this a non-music thread?

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 08:12 AM

My mistake, melodeonboy... I usually forget to put BS on threads when they are, so I'm trying to make up for past transgressions. If should be above. :-)

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 08:19 AM

My wife keeps singing
Hold a "seagull" to your ear
instead of "Seashell"

Enough to make you go deaf.

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 09:00 AM

"Mammaries, in the corners of my mind/Misty-colored mammaries...."

I've also heard

"Hang out your wash, Tom Dooley...."

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 09:58 AM

Going classical here:

I owe an eternal debt of anger and vengeance to the school teacher who, teaching "music appreciation" to her class put these words to Schubert's Fifth Symphony:

This is the symphony
That Schubert wrote and never finnn-ished!

It has marred my every hearing of Schubert's "Unfinished Symphony" for the last sixty years.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Kaleea
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 02:57 PM

try getting this one out of your noodle:



    "ain't no woman like the one eyed gott!"

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: GUEST,Brass Monkey
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 04:32 PM

No melodeonboy, I've never been able to sit through a trad jazz gig without feeling sick and promptly walking out...and yes it's probably a good job you've left the middle east because if i 'ear about them blooming Al Thanis and their bints one more time...I just might get sacked again.

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 05:18 PM

Ain't no woman like the one-eyed Goth????

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: frogprince
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 07:37 PM

Thanks...for the mammaries...
da dum, da dum, da dum...

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: JennieG
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 07:45 PM

"Girls in black leather with whips and with lashes"......

well come on, where's the rest??!!!!

Cheers
JennieG - asking because she has a definite purpose for this one!

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 09:23 PM

Why? You looking for a new career??   8-)

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: JennieG
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 11:41 PM

now that's a thought.......working in a library palls occasionally......

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 06:23 AM

Les Barker has a lot to answer for. I can never hear 'sealed with a kiss' without transposing it to 'kissed by a seal' thanks to him....

Then there's the primate section: 'Tie a yellow gibbon round the old oak tree', 'Scarlet gibbons', and 'Marmoset his eyes at me'.

This morning at 4.30am we were woken by someone mistaking our house for the crack house next door (we both have green doors although ours has all its glass in place and hasn't been raided by the police), but when I got back to bed, for some reason, all I could think of was 'I've got a brand new combine harvester'.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 07:13 AM

All he wanted to do, LTS, was find out what was "behind The Grreen Door"!!!

:-P

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 07:24 AM

GREEN DOOR
(Marvin Moore & Bob Davie)

Midnight, one more night without sleepin',
Watchin' till the mornin' comes creepin'.
Green door, what's that secret you're keepin'?

There's an old piano and they play it hot behind the green door.
Don't know what they're doin' but they laugh a lot behind the green door.
Wish they'd let me in so I could find out what's behind the green door.

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 09:18 AM

I'm getting a big laugh out of many of these posts. I really love Tie A Yellow Gibbon Round The Old Oak Tree. Maybe I could even stand to hear that song again, with those words. As this isn't the thread about mangled lyrics, I don't mean to create my own thread drift, but..... my all-time favorite missunderstanding of a song title, which changed the song permanently for me is for So Long, I'ts Been Good To Know You to So Long, It's Fingers gnolia." A kid I knew in highschool would come down the hallway singing that song at the top of his lungs when it was popular by the Weavers. He was so dissapointed when I told him the song wasn't about rubbing out an Italian mobster.

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Purple Foxx
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 09:21 AM

"Bald Headed Woman,Bald Headed Woman to me.."

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 09:32 AM

I'm watching the rugby (Scotland V Italy) and have just had to sit through another rendition of 'Floor of Scotland'....

Local accents add SUCH at lot to a song!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 10:05 AM

Girls in black leather with whips and with lashes
Making men crawl through the dirt and the ashes,
Shackles and racks and handcuffs and chains
These are the things that I use to cause pain....

When the whip bites
When the lash stings
Then I'm feeling glad...
Just shackle me up to a wall or a frame
And cane me again -- I'm bad!


(Actually, I only heard the first line years ago. Feel free to use it, though -- I won't sue.)

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Ron Davies
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 10:44 AM

That's a great one, Rapaire!

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 10:51 AM

I was listening to the radio yesterday and as a break after a story (that I can't remember any more) they played a couple of lines of the old one "Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette." Darned thing is still running around my head this morning. Maybe this earworm can't get out because my sinuses are infected.

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: melodeonboy
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 12:45 PM

Now there's a cracking song. It's been around for some time: my mum tells me that my grandad used to to sing it to my gran. The version by Commander Cody & LPA is particularly good.

Subject: RE: BS: Stained, Sealed and Delivered
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 12:57 PM

I've also been thinking of what happens when you're interupted, like on the classic "Gate of Horn" record, when introducing "Old Blue":

"This is a song about man's best friend...."
"His mother."
"Sorry to hear your mother turned blue."

Or, when I was singing Tommy Makem's "Four Green Fields" around my brother Ted:

"...and their wailing cries...."
"THAR SHE BLOWS!!!"