BS: People poking crocodiles

Subject: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 08:49 AM

I see on telly some american bloke, [i think he;s called Ian or something], and he got bit by a big crocodile, [or maybe it an alligater, not sure really].

but it serves him right, he goes up to them, and hit them with sticks, "oh look heres an crocodile [or an allygater], lets poke it with this stick, see waht happens".

didnt his dad ever tell him, "dont poke dangerous animals with stcks"?
anyway, he is stupid, and must have shit for brains.

anyway=in olden days, there was little kid called albert, [this was in london i think], he poked a lion with a stick, and it eat him.
his mam and dad complained to lion bloke, but he just said= "sorry theres nowt i can do about it".

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 08:53 AM

Yup. That's what happens.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 10:05 AM

They never even got his hat back.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: robomatic
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 10:15 AM

Monty Python did a bit about Olympic Crocodile swallowing some time ago. Life imitating art?

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 10:16 AM

An American bloke called Ian? Not at all likely. The whole thing is probably a sensationalistic sham and the crocodile is made of foam rubber.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 10:17 AM

we don't even have 'blokes' over here; just a lot of 'guys'.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 10:21 AM

He's just a Mudcatter in mufti.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: greg stephens
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 10:23 AM

Get me an alligator to poke and make it snappy.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 10:30 AM

Poking animals can be problematic....They say the Welsh like to poke sheep....and in some countries they poke anything that moves.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 10:41 AM

'ere you go, greg. Maybe it survived the Winter.

"Alligator found in British pond
October 6th, 2005

ST. BLAZEY, England: The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals warned people in St. Blazey, England, to be on the lookout for an alligator sighted in an area pond.

The society issued the warning to the Cornish town when Stacey Clayton said she spotted a 2-foot gator while she and her 7-month-old daughter fed ducks in a pond.

"I noticed this big log in the water, but as I got closer I saw its eyes," Clayton told The London Telegraph. "I wasn't sure whether it was alive so I threw a stone near it. It lifted its head and looked straight at me."

While the society warned area residents to be on the lookout for the gator, it also said the creature that likely once was a pet may have already died from the cold.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Scoville
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 11:36 AM

Alligator. We have alligators. They sometimes show up in backyards around here if it rains enough.



People think they're logs, or they're dead, or they just plain don't realize that even though it's 10 feet long, weighs hundreds of pounds, and has no legs to speak of, it can still move a lot faster than any human.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 11:43 AM

It was early morning, around 5 a.m., and I was on the bow of the boat watching the sun rise through the mists of the Tombigbee River. The boat was moving slowing, leaving no wake to speak of, Spanish Moss was dripping of the trees, and all in all it was a magical moment.

Then the logs along the shore winked at me and I was very glad there was a steel hull around me!

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 12:00 PM

a ten foot log, and nobody noticed...well they say everythings bigger in America

poking logs with a stick is a traditional past time of the English.

like the marmite - we just don't talk about it much

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Pied Piper
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 12:02 PM

Albert and the Lion

PP

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Kaleea
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 12:47 PM

"Gators," aka alligators, are indigenous to certain spots in the USA, & I have seen people poke, yell at, throw things at, & play odd games with alligators, such as the ever popular "get as close as you can to the gator & then run real fast & try not to get caught." Some people who participate in the latter imbibe of the spirits too much, & some of them are simply known as "idjits." (idjits; [id-jits], noun, the plural of idjit. Foolish or irresponsible personages. Believed to be derived from slang of the TexOkArkAnna region of the USA.) There are some "intellectuals" who encourage the imbibers & "idjits" to continue these practices so as to reduce the population of imbibers & idjits in the USA.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 12:49 PM

Famous Last Words: "Hey, Bubba! Watch me stick ma haid inta that gator's mouf! But gimme another beer first."

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 02:04 PM

apparently in Australia, they give people like that their own tv channel. still no channel for folk music, but croc pokers, shark prodders, alligator thumpers....thay can't get enough of them.

I blame that bloody Rupert Murdoch, and his Sky

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Dave'sWife
Date: 17 Mar 06 - 04:22 PM

Here in Los Angeles, there is allegedly a large alligator loose in a lake on a nature presevre. The local TV has hired an Alligator-catcher of some fame to come in and nab him, but he's had no success as of yet. Since the weather turned cold again a month ago, we've not heard much about this alleged alligator. I'm beginning to think he's an urban legend or maybe he was just passing through on his way to Cabo.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: GUEST,robomatic
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 01:57 AM

A street thug was proudly walking his pit bull one afternoon when he spied an elderly gent walking an incredibly ugly beast. It surpassed every wrinkly beast of the canine pursuasion. "Hey Dude, that is sure one sorry-ass animal," he said, "why not let me and ol' Killer put him out of his misery?"
The old man didn't bat an eyelash. "Your dog can't hurt my dog," he said.
The man of the streets took it as a challenge, "I'm going to sic my fighter on your road wreck and then I'm going to give you ten dollars to go to the pound and pick up a better lookin' dog than the one you got now" So saying he launched Killer at the low slung thing and about swallowed his tongue ring when the old gentleman's pet seized the pit bull by the head and shook the everlasting aspirations out of him, chewing off a considerable amount of his hide at the same time.

Street thug was astounded: "What you call that monster, man? I never seen nothin' like that!"

"Well, before he got his nose fixed," said the old gent,"He was a alligator!"

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 07:28 AM

Sir nOrman, he was probably just trying to sleep out in the woods.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 08:07 AM

jOhn,
This isn't the Aussie gentleman who got into deep trouble with Child Protection when he took his three year old son on one of his crocodile/alligator poking jaunts? Could have lost more than his hat this time.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 08:37 AM

That Aussie guy now has his young daughter doing teh TV ads "Come to my place and see my dad"

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 10:15 AM

"Come to my place and see my dad. We call him Old No-Face."

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 02:44 PM

Wollambula base to flyin' doctor! Cor suck a wallaby Blue! Guess what's come up in Wagga Wagga! Some joker pokin' a croc!

Y'hear that Snowy, bet that made Alice Springs creak mate...

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Peace
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 03:12 PM

People with strange proclivities . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 03:36 PM

"Goose the Grizzly" used to be a popular sport in western Canada too...

It requires stealth, nerve, and a complete lack of intelligence combined with a hell of a lot of alcohol. Very few have ever succeeded in doing it, and even fewer have done it more than once.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: autolycus
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 05:20 PM

Coca=cola and pepsi-cola finally announced a merger, and they got the marketing men onto getting a snappy slogan.

Some bright spark came up with,

"Be sociable. Have a Poke."

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 06:22 PM

"...so, where's that Eskimo woman you wanted me to wrestle?"

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 10:02 PM

Hey, poke ME! LOL!!

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 11:52 PM

Well the Aussie Croc Man does have a wild animal rescue unit at the park that treats about 100 injured beasties a month.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 01:37 AM

Tell me about pinching a grizzly bear's bum. Anybody done it?

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 06:30 AM

Ya only wants to try dis wit hibernating bears, den ya runs like hell afore dey wakes up. Iffen ya does dis wit da white ones, dat stupid cause dey dosent hibernate and dey runs faster dan hell too.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 06:59 AM

crocodile poking bloke got eaten by a crocodile, i'm not suprised really.

you can only poke crocodiles for so long, before they eat you, everybody knows that.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 07:43 AM

Yet again your wise words have proven to be prophetic Sir jOhn.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: robomatic
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 10:15 AM

Apparently direct contact with a polar bear is bad for the prostate (as well as the heart, lungs, kidneys, and just about anything but the brain which is usually terminal at this point:

"The popularity of the zoo's polar bears soared in July 1994 after an Australian tourist climbed over the moat and the first fence to photograph them. Binky grabbed the woman through the bars of the inner fence, pulled off her tennis shoe, chewed on and broke her leg, and let her go. The next day a news photographer visited the polar bear pen and caught the picture that became the icon that Anchorage embraced. It was flashed around the world over the AP wire.

The reaction in Anchorage was instantaneous. Binky became a hero. T-shirts, post cards, coffee mugs, bumper stickers, even jewelry sprang up boasting the image of Binky with the tennis shoe. The victim was good-- natured about the episode. Interviewed from her hospital bed, she agreed that it was the "stupidest thing" she had ever done. Letters to the editor expressed approval of her penitent attitude. She had learned one of the most important lessons of the North, that wild animals are not pets.

Then, in September 1994 two local teenagers on a drunken spree broke into the zoo at night. As one of the young men crept into Binky's pen, apparently for a swim in the pool, Binky lunged at him and chewed his leg.7 By now Binky had become a folk hero, so public opinion was on the side of the polar bear from the beginning. The point made in press coverage and letters to the editor was, again, that polar bears are wild animals, not pets. Like the Australian, this victim, a non-citizen (i.e., a minor) who had been incapacitated by alcohol, was something of an outsider."

robo, still lookin' for a 'Binky' T-Shirt in Anchortown.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 10:29 AM

That's how handbags get born is it?
G.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: leeneia
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 12:29 PM

Here's a link to a report on alligator attacks and deaths. I have read that an alligator will not attack an adult. Wrong!

It's also sobering to see in how many different settings the attacks occurred.

http://www.floridaconservation.org/gators/nuisance/GatorBites.pdf#search=%22alligator%20child%20fatal%22

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: The Shambles
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 12:34 PM

The USA does have crocodiles as well as alligators.

http://www.tigerhomes.org/animal/curriculums/american-crocodile.cfm

American Crocodiles are very rare in the United States and are only found along the Florida coast in the bay area, in Everglades National Park, and in the keys. Throughout their worldwide range, from Western Mexico to Ecuador along the Pacific, and from Guatemala to Florida along the Atlantic, they live in coastal wetlands. Unlike their alligator cousins the adults can tolerate a saline aquatic environment.

Another comparative difference to the alligators lies in the fact that males will sometime help to guard nesting areas and hatchlings. Adult Crocodiles maintain dens near nest sites… usually a burrow which they dig in stream or creek beds. Unlike the alligators, female crocodiles don't cover usually their eggs with a mass of vegetation but bury them in mounds of soil or sand; some excavate nest holes. Two or more females may share a nest area.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 01:15 PM

"...crocodiles don't cover usually their eggs..." Odd phrasing.   I went to the link and sure enough, that is what the person wrote.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Rasener
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 01:26 PM

Thats real wierd having sex with a crocodile. Where do you put its tail whilst humping it?

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 05:16 PM

Missionary position, silly!

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Rasener
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 05:43 PM

Was it good Bill D :-)

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 07:50 PM

No harm came to Albert though, John (see here)

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 07:52 PM

(It was for the Missionary...for 10-15 seconds)

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: leeneia
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 09:09 AM

Crocodiles have a reputation for being more aggressive than alligators. Pray that you never encounter one.

If you are considering travel in the U.S., you'll be all right if you don't go to Alabama, Arkansas, the Carolinas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Oklahoma or Texas.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: bfdk
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 09:34 AM

Here's a link for all you pokers out there.

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 09:48 AM

Here in the USA, if the poking does disabling damage to the creature, physically or mentally, they can get "Gator Aid" for the rest of their life!

Art ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: Becca72
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 09:48 AM

Leeneia,
That's true for more than just alligators....

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: freda underhill
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 09:57 AM

Never smile at a crocodile
No, you can't get friendly with a crocodile
Don't be taken in by his welcome grin
He's imagining how well you'd fit within his skin
Never smile at a crocodile
Never dip your hat and stop to talk awhile
Never run, walk away, say good-night, not good-day
Clear the aisle but never smile at Mister Crocodile
You may very well be well bred
Lots ot etiquette in your head
But there's always some special case, time or place
To forget etiquette
For instance:
Never smile at a crocodile
No, you can't get friendly with a crocodile
Don't be taken in by his welcome grin
He's imagining how well you'd fit within his skin
Never smile at a crocodile
Never dip your hat and stop to talk awhile
Never run, walk away, say good-night, not good-day
Clear the aisle but never smile at Mister Crocodile..

Subject: RE: BS: People poking crocodiles
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 09 Sep 06 - 12:47 AM

The Purist

I give you now Professor Twist,
A conscientious scientist.
Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!"
And sent him off to distant jungles.
Camped on a tropic riverside,
Once day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
"You mean," he said, "a crocodile."

--Ogden Nash, from Verses from 1929 On