BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Apr 06 - 03:48 PM

coulda been worse...coulda been one of them worms from Arrakis that took a liking to hillbillies.

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Apr 06 - 10:53 AM

So you came in just to say that, JTS? Not to contribute, just to scold? That's so much more reassuring than troll spotting. NOT.

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Apr 06 - 10:05 AM

Bobert,
Your wife must be a saint.
SINS,
who once spent a very unpleasant afternoon at the Columbia Tropical Disease Clinic sharing a bathroom with twenty other "infected" and dosed individuals waiting for nature to take its course.
I should have known better than to read this. Nightmares in the forecast.

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Becca72
Date: 03 Apr 06 - 09:13 AM

You forgot another symptom...dragging his arse on the carpet...it'll be worms for sure!

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: RangerSteve
Date: 03 Apr 06 - 09:03 AM

I get sympathetic pains reading about stuff like this. Between this and the castrati thread, I'm a complete wreck right now.

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Apr 06 - 08:37 AM

That Google link to images of hookworms may not be the most reassuring thing for Bobert to view, if he's still among the living. They look remarkedly like minature versions of those giant Dune worms of the Sci-Fi series, especially so with their round mouths and wicked-sharp looking teeth. I'm glad that I really never got a close and personal look at one. I'm feeling better already.

Bobert, if I were you I'd keep the light on at night and all doors and windows securely locked.

Don't you love the ads at the bottom of the screen:

"Human parasites & Worms"

"Parasites Worms in Humans"

Someone cares!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Janie
Date: 03 Apr 06 - 08:29 AM

Surely there is a "Twilight Zone" episode that will explain all of this?

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 Apr 06 - 01:05 AM

One reason I think BeeDub's suggestion might be the explanation is that the Beaubear is hip deep in construction projects and could easily have picked up a splinter that went in at the less sensitive thickened skin around the cuticle. Of course, it could be leprosy. It is my understanding that one of the symptoms of leprosy is lack of feeling. Sorry, Bobert- I tried. :)

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: GUEST,JTS
Date: 03 Apr 06 - 01:04 AM

What Martin has is a bevy of troll feeders.

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Apr 06 - 12:37 AM

What Martin Gibson has is verbal diarrhea.

Google Search on Hookworms.

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Once Famous
Date: 03 Apr 06 - 12:08 AM

What bobert has is a form of gonnorhea found in Syria.

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 Apr 06 - 12:04 AM

BeeDub's suggestion makes sense, I think.

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 10:48 PM

And yet other signs to look for are "STOP", "YIELD", AND "TRUCKS ENTERING HIGHWAY".

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 10:38 PM

Bobert, keep a CLOSE watch on that hole! If there is ANY sign of infection (red streaks, swelling, heat, pain) get your butt to a doctor right away.

Other signs to look for are depression, nausea, vomiting, yellow eyes, bleeding from the body's various holes, burning pain when urinating, chancres, big ol' ugly sores, erectile dysfunction, death, and rotting body parts dropping off as you walk around. Not necessarily from that thing in your finger, though.

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 10:38 PM

Well, well, well...

The WGSR has just reported that given the temperatur inside the Ceptic tank and the outside temps that, in its opinion, we've gotta couple of days so, given this daylight savings time stuff, I'm going to bed an let the heavy lifters stay up and ponder this most unfortunate situation....

Right now, sniff, I think I'd rather have the X-File worm back in my finger than runnin' the streets, so to speak....

But thanks all fir yer support...

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 10:29 PM

I can't sleep with the lights on, Jeri....

Think I'll go make a pot of coffee.... Looks like I'm in fir a long night here....

Ahhhhh, anyone know how long it would take an X-File worm, flushed down a toilet into a ceptic tank, to colonize and plan an all out assualt on our house???

Oh, yeah.... The ceptic tank is approximately 35 feet from the house...

Iz got the Wes Ginny Slide Rule on Code Red Alert and it's busy in the "X-File Worm War Room" as we speak just sitting there 'a thinkin'... But that's what it does....

Meanwhile, I have emailed the governor's office and put another gob of Bacitracin on the hole in the finger....

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: number 6
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 10:27 PM

Go to a local vetenarian ... they have a pill you can take to get rid of it.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 10:23 PM

Did the damned thing wiggle? If not, it may well have just been a long-forgotten splinter or something. The human body tends to surround subcutaneous foreign matter with mucous-like stuff. I remember getting a simple sandspur thorn imbedded in a fingertip once. When it finally worked its way out it was sheathed in gooey crap and left a hole in my finger way out of proportion to the thorn's original size.

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Charley Noble
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 10:22 PM

Jeri-

Lovely!

Now when I was in the Peace Corps in Ethiopia, back in the Pliestocene, we heard about the hookworms. Some of them were yards long, and you were supposed to wind them out slowly a couple of feet a day without breaking them into two. If they broke in two, they died and bad things would happen inside your body...

There were also tape worms. We were told to beware of them. Avoid fresh salads and ingesting humus, or was it hommous?. But if we did ingest one, one strategy was to dangle a piece of salt pork down the throad with a string, and when the tape worm snapped at it, to haul him/her/it/them slowly out. There were also strategies for capturing the tapeworm via the neither orifice (the one down below) which because this is a family thread I will digress no further...

Bobert-

Good luck with whatever you are dealing with, and you may want to inject a shot or two of penicillen just to be on the safe side. We'd hate to lose you or find you transformed into something on the dark side...

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Once Famous
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 10:18 PM

Jeri, just from what I read. Cleanliness is next to Godliness you know. bobert has obviously gone for years without washing his hands after he used the bathroom.

Sheesh, I'd hate to see his fingernails. I mean, anyone who smokes dope and does drugs with his own kid, you never know what else is going on.

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 10:17 PM

Ya think, Marty???

Danged, I took a shower last month??? And it weren't no ordinary shower, no sir... It was a 2-towel'er, gol dang it...

I think Bush or Cheney has somethin' to do with this...

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: number 6
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 10:15 PM

Jeeeezuz!

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Jeri
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 10:15 PM

Martin knows about these things.

Bobert, I hope it wasn't one o' them things that grows in your stomach and you have to barf out and it eats your family and dog or else you just explode like John Hurt in Alien. I'd also be afraid it was an adult alien worm that laid eggs and your whole hand is gonna turn into zit monsters. Check your neck for gills, and if you feel the urge to build a coccoon, you'll need to sleep with the lights on.

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 10:13 PM

Thanks, J 'n J, fir scarin' the Holy crap outta me....

Okay, maybe it weren't a worm but like a puss-ey (hmmmm, that was a close bad spellin' situation there...) like when you get a boil and it has like this tap root that get's squeezed out... It's like what this worm-likie thing looked like... Like a puss-ey tap root, i.e. an X-File worm, that come out with this green warty thing...

Hey, you all... I'd love to say "Happy Belated April Fools Day" but I gotta a hole where this this critter lived just this mornin'...

And ain't no blues song gonna change that....

Now that's the blues fir ya...

Maybe is was gang-green??? Is that stuff green??? Yeah, maybe I had a gang-green-X-File-worm in my finger???

No matter... I'm glad to have it in the ceptic tank tonight.... I think???

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Once Famous
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 10:03 PM

I think it was probably just caused by poor hygiene, bobert.

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 10:00 PM

No, Rap, I think it was a worm... Not a pencilation shot, gol dang it... Weren't I plain 'nuff 'bout that??? Okay, may it weren't a worm but it looked like a worm... No, it din't look like none of the worms I seed on X-Files but it looked like a worm to me... It was slimey like a worm 'cept it weren't gray, it was white but, hey, it looked like a worm to me.... I ain't gettin' no shot over this thing... I allready had my pencilation shot, thank you, and I hear they are good for 7 years before the statue of limitation wears out on 'um.... I think I had one in '03 when I tried to cut off another finger on my other hand... And, no, it had nuthin' to do with X-File worms but, ahhhhh, jus' a pure accident....

Right now I gotta a bunch of Bacitracin in the hole where it came out and I poured some bleech down the drain so it's in the ceptic tank... I also have both shotguns loaded in case....

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Janie
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 09:50 PM

Er, Bobert? I doubt the green part was the head....

And thank you for sharing.

J

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Jeri
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 09:49 PM

Google hookworm. There ARE things that get in through your skin. I had a cousin who died before I was born from hookworm and a subsequent infection. Usually they migrate to your lungs where there's a good oxygen supply. They make you cough a bunch, you swallow them and then you crap them out and it starts all over. Except you probably don't crap on your lawn or in your garden - that takes critters.

Then again, if it wasn't moving on its own, maybe it was just a green thing with a bunch of 'stuff' (can elaborate if needed) stuck onto it. The human body is an endless source of entertainment, isn't it?

Just be glad it wasn't filariasis. You might have had to get your privates training wheels or buy one size 300 shoe. Then again, you might have developed a case of mucocutaneous leishmaniasis, which is referred to in public health circles as 'the face eraser'.    Then there's onchocerciasis (river blindness) or schistosomiasis or ...I'll stop. Most of these are problems in foriegn countries. Little green wormy things in your finger aren't too scary compared to these, but do watch for signs of infection.

Maybe we ought to have a thread on the weirdest foriegn object or life form (no, not babies) to come out of our bodies. Maybe not.

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 09:22 PM

Bobert, are you sure it was a worm? My mother one time took something similar out of my wrist, and the next day I woke up with septicemia (blood poisoning) -- red streaks going up my arm and all. And she'd used that antibiotic type stuff on it, too.

Ended up at the Doctor's, getting shot in the butt with penicillin.

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Bert
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 09:07 PM

You've done it now. It was one of these!

Subject: RE: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Naemanson
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 08:56 PM

Sounds like a new blues song coming up.

I got up this mornin'
Cut a worm from my hand,
Bit it out without warnin'
Tossed it down the can.

Hopin' it don't grow,
Like that woman's hips,
Comin'out of can at me,
Up from the pipes.

It's the wierd old green worm in my hand blues....

Subject: BS: X-File Worm removed from my finger...
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Apr 06 - 08:45 PM

Yes, that right....

Fir the last few days I have had a small greenish looking warty thing near the cutical of the index finger on my left hand... The thing , about twicwe the size of a pin head, was real sore so...

... today I figured I'd just cut the danged thing out so I got out my pocket knife and went at it from all directions until I had cut it all the way 'round it and then I called upon more surgeically crafted instruments: my teeth!

So I bit down on it and gave it a pull and it seems like it was attached with some white gooey looking worm like stuff but the teeth had the green thing dislodged and it was now hanging on to my finger by the white gooey X-File worm... So I got holt of it with my right fore-finger and thumb and gave it a tug and pulled out the green thing and the 1/2 inch worm.... Yuck!!!

Well, I was so groosed out I thriw it in the toilet and then but anti-this'n-that cream all over the hole that was left from my surgery....

I'm hopin' that there ain't no brothers 'er sisters livin' in me er that the one I flushed don't colonize my ceptic system an' millions of green headed X-File worms come crawlin' up outta the ground 'er nuthin'....

Bobert