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BS: The Things They Never Ever Said...
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Subject: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: alanabit Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:22 PM Some years ago in England, the Guardian Newspaper ran a competition for the best made up quote. The things they never ever said. The winner was along the lines of,"I'm really, really sorry. Actually, I knew I was wrong all along..." (Margeret Thatcher). Something along the lines of,"OK lads, I'll get the first round lads!" (Ayatollah Khomeni) "I like to be in America." (Ossama bin Laden). "Are you sure you don't want to go home to Mom tonight?" (Michael Jackson). "Light a fire quick please, I'm freezing." (Joan of Arc). Anyone else got some unlikely quotes? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Rapparee Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:34 PM Are all of those Indians?? -- George Armstong Custer. Okay, you win. -- Robert E. Lee. Oh, come on -- the Pope's got a GREAT sense of humor! -- Martin Luther. A dove. Right. Now tell Joseph to get his butt in here, 'cause him and me got something to discuss! -- Mary's father. Sorry, Julius, I didn't know it was loaded. -- Brutus. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:44 PM Just a side salad for me - Elvis. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Bunnahabhain Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:50 PM The Shambles: The Editing Policy? Who could have a problem with it? George Bush: Any sentence of Perfect English (or even American) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Sorcha Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:50 PM My, how dry it is--Noah |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: alanabit Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:54 PM "Sod off - you know I can't stand orphans!" Mother Teresa. "It's a man's world." Germaine Greer. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Amos Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:55 PM I just realized how terribly wrong I've been all my life. Martin Gibson |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Sorcha Date: 30 Apr 06 - 03:59 PM AMOS! ROF! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 30 Apr 06 - 04:00 PM Amos, that's a clear and direct example of highjacking a thread (at least incipiently). Cut it out! Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: wysiwyg Date: 30 Apr 06 - 04:10 PM "Aw, fuck it." -Jesus |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Bunnahabhain Date: 30 Apr 06 - 04:21 PM Next time Dad, you tell me the whole plan beforehand. Jesus I though better of posting it earlier, but.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: autolycus Date: 30 Apr 06 - 05:49 PM This country wil never invade another. The uk PM, the US Pres., the leader if Iran, Pakistan,Israel, Serbia, Germany, France,Lichtenstein, Congo, Uganda, Australia, Russia, Switzerland, and especially Andorra. Ivor |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Little Hawk Date: 30 Apr 06 - 05:50 PM LOL! Great line, Susan. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Severn Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:00 PM "LOL"-Buster Keaton |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Rapparee Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:02 PM Hey, you can really see a long way from up here! -- Jesus Nah, I'll just give him a good scare. -- John Wilkes Booth Oh, hell! Just reach in and pull that alarm clock out, like this. -- Captain Hook. Aw, just beat the hell out of them.... -- Ghandi. Maybe I was wrong. -- Adolf Hitler. That's the English: no sense of humor. -- Ben Franklin. What the hell is all that LAND doing there?? -- Christopher Columbus. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: The Shambles Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:03 PM Missed JFK |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: autolycus Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:05 PM LOL,Shambles Ivor |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Bill D Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:10 PM "Our nuclear proliferation policy is redolent with erudite obfuscation" G.W. Bush |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Severn Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:12 PM "Was it good for you too, Mary?"-God "Is it in yet?"-Mary "We pride ourselves on our taste in friends"-The Donner Party "I can't stand that Martin Gibson feller!"-Will Rogers |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: The Shambles Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:15 PM I resign John Prescott Charles Clark |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: The Shambles Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:19 PM Your point has been made with devastating clarity, Roger. No one but Little Hawk. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: autolycus Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:19 PM Thank you everyone for coming to my 32nd birthday -- Schubert. Ivor |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: DMcG Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:20 PM E2=m2c4 ... that's it! Einstein |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Sung... From: Severn Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:21 PM "My kind of friend, Iago is...."-Othello |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:24 PM "We are an equal opportunity employer." - The Ku Klux Klan |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:34 PM "Hell, we can maximize profits by moving the whole operation to Mexico." - Karl Marx |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST,Wesley S Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:35 PM I was reading this book the other day.... George W Bush You really nailed that one - Jesus Christ Oh Good ! Another censorship thread - Joe Offer It really touched my heart - Clinton Hammond I'm sure if we just leave them alone they'll get along just fine- God - and Max |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: David C. Carter Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:40 PM Head barman on the Titanic: "Do you want ice with that?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: autolycus Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:41 PM The following are the conditions that would have to exist before we would happily give you a decent pay-rise. most employers. Ivor |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Severn Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:49 PM "Oui, je suis Brew-tay!"-Brutus "Honey, I'm home from my trip!"-Lord Franklin "This machine maims Facists and gleefully watches them twitch!"-Woody Guthrie "SAY IT IT OUT LOUD! I MIME AND I"M PROUD!"-Marcel Marceau |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 06:56 PM Clunk Click every trip - Princess Diana |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 07:09 PM "You want fries with that?" - Marie Antoinette |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: catspaw49 Date: 30 Apr 06 - 07:13 PM I have contacted Max personally and he has a written copy of all 72,936 complaints I have made in the past seven years. I will no longer need to post them to the forum........Shambles Oh Roger, please post more of those truly significant complaints of yours in that oh-so-readable syntax. There has to be at least a thousand more ways you can say the same thing and I am waiting in rapt anticipation for your next succinct and clearly penned tome. Please start it on a new thread as we have only forty-two Shamblecentric threads on the current thread list......and throw in some of those wonderfully pointed and totally relevant quotes too! ......Spaw Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Bill D Date: 30 Apr 06 - 07:25 PM ooohh..Wesley!....... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 07:26 PM "Heath, do these jeans make my butt look big?" - John Wayne |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 07:32 PM "Nothing for me, thanks. I'm driving." - Ted Kennedy |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Rapparee Date: 30 Apr 06 - 07:36 PM Ya know, Roy, I've always thought you have the most beautiful eyes. -- Gabby Hayes. Oh, shut UP, would ya? Duncan's a friend of mine! -- Macbeth |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:00 PM "'Now cocaine's for horses, and it ain't for men..they say it'll kill me but they don't say when..'" - Pablo Escobar |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:05 PM I'm not your bloody secretary - Moses. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: wysiwyg Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:12 PM "Hey guys, could you put me up for the night?" -Jesus, upon his triumphal entry into Jerusalem |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:19 PM "So then I thought, 'Hey, why not privatize the hospitals? That would solve all the problems and we wouldn't even need a revolution.'" - Che Guevara |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:26 PM "I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright..." - Gene Autry, the Singing Cowboy |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Little Hawk Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:35 PM "You and me against the world...sometimes it feels like you and me against the world" - George W. Bush to Tony Blair (or vice versa) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:50 PM "...and I had to remind my lab assistant of Occam's Razor. He tried to explain the behavior in terms of positive and negative reinforcement psychobabble and I said, 'Ed, it's just two fuckin' pigeons playing ping pong.'" - B.F. Skinner |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Once Famous Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:55 PM "I just realized I have been wrong all of my life." Amos |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Once Famous Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:55 PM "I just realized that I am a complete asshole." Amos |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Once Famous Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:56 PM "I just realized that I haven't changed my shorts in a year." Amos |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Once Famous Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:57 PM "I just realized that eating viagra straight will always give me a hard-on about what's good about America." Amos |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Once Famous Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:58 PM "I just realized that I haven't got the mental capacities to use a knife and fork properly." Amos |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:59 PM "What the world needs now, is love, sweet love..it's the only thing that there's just too little of ..." - Ivan The Terrible |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Little Hawk Date: 30 Apr 06 - 08:59 PM Looks like another feud on the roll here... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Once Famous Date: 30 Apr 06 - 09:00 PM What the world needs know is less pseudo-intellectualism and more common sense. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Little Hawk Date: 30 Apr 06 - 09:03 PM "All you need is blood...la,la,la,la,la... All you need is blood...la,la,la,la,la... All you need is blood...blood... Blood is all you need." "It's only blood, and that is all. Why do I feel the way I do? It's only blood, and that is all, but I can't stop sucking you..." - Dracula Covers The Beatles |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 09:08 PM "We don't need no education..." - Maria Montessori |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Amos Date: 30 Apr 06 - 09:22 PM MArtin, You are a complete, unmitigated ass. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Severn Date: 30 Apr 06 - 09:23 PM "ORANGE BLOSSOM SPECIAL!!!!!!"-The citizens of Rome to Nero "No, quite the contrary! It was Honky Tonk Angels that made GOD!"-Kitty Wells "Mother's not sleeping, she's only dead."-Charlie Monroe "He's the spittin' image of his Old Man!"-Joseph "War is a Motherf***er!"-Gen. Sherman "Everybody's got something to hide, 'cept for me and my monkey."-Michael Jackson "The Lord Alps those that Alp themselves."-Hannibal "I aim to outlive you all!"-Peter Townshend "Hey! Where'd the flag disappear to?"-Francis Scott Key "You can come too soon, you can not come at all, but honey, you CAN'T overcome!"-Coretta Scott King |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Bert Date: 30 Apr 06 - 09:32 PM Anything kind - Martin Gibson and Clinton Hammond - I would also like to include Gargoyle but he's slipped up more than once and HAS said something kind.. I was the one who wrongfully deleted all those messages - The clone who hasn't got the guts to fess up. Something that WASN'T a joke - Spaw. We need to bring the price of gas down - Dick Cheney. I shouldn't have ripped off all that money from Silverado - Neil Bush. I fixed that election - Jeb Bush Nothing - The usual suspects (You know who you are!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 09:35 PM "How the devil it got to be known as an intelligence test is beyond me. Stanford and Binet were out make a pile of money by publishing a collection of brain teasers." - Jean Piaget |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Bill D Date: 30 Apr 06 - 09:38 PM "LET THERE BE LIGHT!" Thomas A. Edison (He thought it... but plagarism, y'know) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 09:44 PM "Well, I used to incorporate the 'duck walk' into every classical performance I gave on guitar. Then Chuck Berry stole it, and the rest, as they say, is history." - Andres Segovia |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Severn Date: 30 Apr 06 - 09:44 PM Footnote (before anyone else brings it up): Michael Jackson may not have SAID the quote I gave above, but he actually DID own the rights to it for a while.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Once Famous Date: 30 Apr 06 - 10:07 PM Amos, You are a complete unmitigated ass with ear laps. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Bill D Date: 30 Apr 06 - 10:09 PM children, children! Go to your rooms... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: heric Date: 30 Apr 06 - 10:16 PM "If re-elected, I promise to work with Congress to ensure that we raise the national debt by two billion dollars per day, each and every day that I am in office." -George the Terrible |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 10:33 PM "All these tabloid rumors about my purported drug habits have gone a bit too far. I thought that by ignoring the allegations they'd go away. I am educated man, for God's sake. I hold a PhD from Oxford in applied astrophysics. It was me who suggested to my great friend Nancy Reagan, when she was searching for a cause to latch onto - it was me who suggested the anti-drug theme. I said, 'Nancy tell the kids to just say 'no.''" - Keith Richards, The Rolling Stones |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Once Famous Date: 30 Apr 06 - 10:42 PM "children, children! Go to your rooms.." Bill D. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 30 Apr 06 - 10:44 PM "Drinks are on me!" - the Women's Christian Temperance Union |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Elmer Fudd Date: 01 May 06 - 12:58 AM "I booed Bob Dylan at the Newport Folk Festival in 1965!" -anybody who was there |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: alanabit Date: 01 May 06 - 03:22 AM "No!" (Marlene Dietrich). "We come in peace." (Pol Pot). "You can rely on me boss." (Judas Iscariot) "I was just thinking..." (George Bush Junior) "Darling, I'm home." (Lord Lucan). "I never thought he's say that." (Mandy Rice Davies). "Next time I'll fly at night." (Icarus). "No, that would look silly." (Zandra Rhodes) "Now I've made my mind up..." (Hamlet). |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: DMcG Date: 01 May 06 - 03:32 AM Let me make this clear - Derrida I don't know, what is greener than the grass? - anyone asked a riddle in folk songs |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: The Shambles Date: 01 May 06 - 03:45 AM Sorry Far too many of us. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: alanabit Date: 01 May 06 - 04:24 AM "I'll take a white one." (Johnny Cash). "Bring on the chorus girls!" (Alfred Hitchcock). "No, that would be overdoing it." (Cecil B DeMille). |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: autolycus Date: 01 May 06 - 07:20 AM Let them eat cake. not said by Marie Antoinette (It was Rousseau, written when Marie was 12.) The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. not said by Burke. (Not found in his writings) Anybody who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. not said by W.C.Fields (It was said by Leo Rosten) Go west, young man not said first by Horace Greeley(John Soule wrote it first and Greeley gave him the credit always) Eternal Vigilance is the price of liberty. not said by Jefferson (it's not clear who did originate it. Not found in Jefferson's works.) Many,many others. One that was said,"Judging by common sense is merely another phrase for judging bi first appearance." John Stuart Mill(The Spirit of the Age) Ivor |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: John Hardly Date: 01 May 06 - 07:45 AM Oh. Illegal immigrants. Now I get it. Nevermind, we'll leave now. --one million illegal immigrant protesters. Oh. Okay....I guess we could get along on a little smaller margin and neither hire illegal immigrants not underpay Americans. --American business. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: The Walrus Date: 01 May 06 - 11:18 AM " I wish you hadn't asked that question, I really have no answer it - Almost any politician "We lost because the other team were better" - Sir Alex Furgeson "Why don't we try going on the defensive for a while?" - Field Marshal Sir Douglas Haig "Damn it Lestrade. You've beaten me to it" Sherlock Holmes "You know, I fancy a holiday in Jerusalem" - Adolf Hitler "You know, I think my problem is that I'm too trusting" - Joseph Stalin "Why should I worry about a buch of convicts?" - Elzabeth Fry "OK, we start with 'Whiskey on a Sunday', followed by 'We've had no Beer', then 'Ale, Glorious Ale' and finishing on 'Another Little Drink'" - Salvation Army choirmaster |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Chief Chaos Date: 01 May 06 - 11:34 AM I think this outfit is a little too much, - Liberace and Elton John Nuclear - G.W. Bush |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Little Hawk Date: 01 May 06 - 12:12 PM "I take myself dead seriously at all times, and I won't be happy until everyone else does too." - William Shatner |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: HuwG Date: 01 May 06 - 02:32 PM May I have the bag, please, steward ? - Wilbur Wright |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: beardedbruce Date: 01 May 06 - 02:39 PM Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... "From: catspaw49 - PM Date: 30 Apr 06 - 07:13 PM ..... Oh Roger, please post more of those truly significant complaints of yours in that oh-so-readable syntax. There has to be at least a thousand more ways you can say the same thing and I am waiting in rapt anticipation for your next succinct and clearly penned tome. Please start it on a new thread as we have only forty-two Shamblecentric threads on the current thread list......and throw in some of those wonderfully pointed and totally relevant quotes too! ......Spaw Spaw " Now, if someone posts something, does that imply that they have said it? By posting this, has not Spaw now said it, and thus it is invalid? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST,Martin Gibson Date: 01 May 06 - 03:07 PM Fuck off. Martin Gibson |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST,Martin gibson Date: 01 May 06 - 03:23 PM On second thought, I have said that here. Probably for good reason. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: ard mhacha Date: 01 May 06 - 03:39 PM Said of the monkey, "Hang the French bastard" Hartlepool mob, "hurry up with this meeting or I will be late for Mass, Ian Paisley. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST,Ard Mhacha Date: 01 May 06 - 03:42 PM Merciful Hartlepool mob, "let the French bastard go" |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Date: 01 May 06 - 04:16 PM "Vodka Martini, shaken, not stirred James Bond." In fact, in all Fleming's stories it was "Stirred, not shaken". Hollywood again. Don T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: The Shambles Date: 01 May 06 - 04:26 PM It's only a game. Bill Shankly |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Little Hawk Date: 01 May 06 - 05:34 PM "We don't want violence in Canada's national game." - Don Cherry |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Bunnahabhain Date: 01 May 06 - 05:48 PM A Whore! A whore! my Kingdom for a Whore! Richard III The 11th Commandment: THOU SHALT NOT... oh forget about that one, nobody would ever take it seroiusly. Actually, its a piece of unfinished rubbish, but you'll all buy it anyway, even though the one it's replacing worked better, and used less memory Microsoft |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: GUEST Date: 02 May 06 - 03:28 AM "Hmmm, Gas prices won't come down in a hurry, I'll get a car with a smaller, more efficient engine" - The average American driver |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Things They Never Ever Said... From: Aaron Aardvark Date: 02 May 06 - 07:41 AM Really...it wasn't me, it was the Weimaraner!" Spaw |
