BS: I need rejection!

Subject: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 06:55 PM

Yes, rejection...and I'm hoping I can get it here. I have always relished the sense of martyrdom that comes with rejection, that special feeling of being misunderstood and set apart, that particular sense of autonomy that comes with being reviled and excluded from the society of others. Many women have been good enough to satisfy this need of mine. I have been stood up for more dates than I could possibly list here, and it was quite a rush each time, I can tell you. I keep a little black book with the names of all those who have rejected me. Many men have ridiculed me, and I am quite gratified by that as well...it proves how special I am and how rotten they are. It's reassuring in a way.

Dogs have bitten me. Children have thrown things at me and made nasty faces as I passed by. I have reason to suspect that squirrels are swearing at me from the treetops. Better and better.

Of late, however, I feel my needs for rejection are not being fully met in 3-D life, so I have decided to go online and seek it from complete strangers, people who cannot see me and don't even know me.

I have hopes that by coming to a forum such as this one I will receive the full measure of rejection I'm seeking in which case my cup will be running over! Do this for me, if you will.

I am ready. You have my full attention. Do your worst. But do it now.

Ever so humbly yours,

Wilfred Pennifere

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: skipy
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 06:56 PM

Piss off   -   didn't mean it!
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Clocko
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 06:57 PM

No.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 07:00 PM

You heartless person.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 07:01 PM

Human beings need rejection as much as they need an extra hole in their head and you are no different. If this is a plea for attention you sure get some. If it is some futile game playing exercise then you win the game. Hooray for you. Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 07:04 PM

Just look in a mirror mate. How much reflection can you want for heavens sake?

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 07:12 PM

Join the Jehovah's Witnesses. Go door to door 7 days a week. Your needs will be met!

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 07:13 PM

I REJECT your plea absolutely.

A

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 07:14 PM

You need to talk to Clinton Hammond, Wilfred...

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 07:56 PM

I dunno if I should or if I shouldn't reject you. How about if I remain indifferent to your needs? Will that work?

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 07:57 PM

Amos, you leave me at a bit of a loss. I don't know whether to thank you from the bottom of my heart....or write you out of my will.

I must say that I'm a bit disappointed with the lacklustre response I've gotten here so far. Where do I find this Clinton Hammond bloke?

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 08:50 PM

But Wilfred, you have no need to be disappointed! Just think of all the people who have opened this thread, read your plea, and not posted a damned thing! Now, that's rejection! In fact, it's the only form of rejection that qualifies as 100% rejection!

You see, posting anything, even something like "You, Wilfred Pennifere, are a pustule on the ass of humanity and I totally reject you!" implies a certain measure of acceptance. It indicates acceptance of your need to be rejected. To totally reject Wilfred Pennifere is to reject his need for rejection as well. And the only way to express such total and complete rejection is to not post at all.

I urge all who read this to express their total rejection of Wilfred Pennifere by refusing to post to this thread!

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Jennifer
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 08:58 PM

Jennifer Pennifere - hmmm - my friends would laugh, wouldn't they? Sorry, Wilfried, I was almost interested, for a moment!!

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Guinevere
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 09:02 PM

Tell me about yourself, Wilfried - your interests, hopes, dreams..

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 09:09 PM

I get that all the time, Jennifer. I've asked out dozens of women named Jennifer in the last few years. It's quite a common name, after all. I got as far as ordering a meal for two of them, and there was one I walked halfway home, but she asked me to buy her a paper. I did, and when I turned round....she was gone! Clever bird. She only had about 10 seconds to make her escape, but she used the time well. Damned if I know where she went. It was a long, empty block, and not too many hiding places either.

Bee-dubya-ell, I think you may be onto something there. Nonetheless, I plan to put bamboo shoots in your soup if I ever get the chance.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 09:18 PM

Guinevere, it's good of you to ask. Well, I have had thoughts of becoming a world statesman. Probably for the UK, but I would be willing to settle for Holland or Switzerland or the U.N. if the UK doesn't pan out. Definitely not Namibia, though. The USA? Perish the thought! I'm not stupid enough to take on that job.

Failing the world statesman's career, I rather fancy the thought of being a male model for one of the more prestigious lines of English clothing. Tasteful stuff only, you understand. I've always thought that I looked just a wee bit like Roger Moore when I dress the part and the lights are dimmed a little. It's the cheekbones. I've got Roger Moore cheekbones. Too bad about the chin. But...there's always plastic surgery, isn't there? And if I was to land a fat contract modelling the more, shall we say, rugged look of the common working man then I could put some of my earnings away and get a proper chin job. Then, look out world!

These are the dreams I hold dear. The other dream of my youth was to marry a ravishingly beautiful and morally upright young woman who would make my life into a sort of domestic paradise. That one has eluded me thus far, but I have succeeded in garnering massive amounts of rejection in pursuit of it, so it's not all bad.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Jennifer
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 09:42 PM

Bleccch.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 10:48 PM

Bob Stokes, the Dublin Busker was once asked to be a body double for the bloke who played Jack Rolf in Howards Way - much to Bob's disgust, the actor was ten years older than him.

perhaps you could be Roger Moore's body double - warn them about the chin first.

Not a good suggestion, I admit - just trying to be helpful.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: JennyO
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 12:11 AM

My name is Jennifer, and I reject you totally. Now go and play in the political threads. They're pretty good at rejection there.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: open mike
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 12:33 AM

i thought you said "I could put some of my earrings away "

did you say you need an injection?

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: khandu
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 12:53 AM

BeeDub...I had a 1952 Chevy DeLuxe back in '67. It was a lovely car. Unfortunately, I, being a 14 year old dumb ass kid, knew nothing about Mississippi winters and their effect on cars with no antifreeze in them. My car died a cold death in Feburary '68. I left it parked under a tree in our backyard, swearing to myself that, someday, I would restore the vehicle to its former glory.

However, in 1973, I went away for the summer and when I returned, I found that my dear old Dad had drug the car to the pasture behind our house, shoved it into a gully and bulldozed tons of earth over it.

I never saw it again, and I have never been the same since.

khandu, emotionally distraught King of Mississippi

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 02:04 AM

Why thank you, JennyO. You are too kind.

I do not wear earrings, open mike. Not my style at all.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: alanabit
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 03:49 AM

Where is Gargoyle when we need him?

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Gertrude
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 03:58 AM

Wilfried, you continue to prop yourself up with delusions of international competency. If you were any good where it matters, there would be a chain of women at your door.

No-one is interested in you.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: John O'L
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 05:33 AM

I have read the opening post, and noted the request for rejection.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Jennifer
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 05:51 AM

Wilfried, I also note your stated need for rejection. There is no fun in rejecting someone who enjoys being rejected. I will not pander to your twisted egotistical need. Therefore I will embrace you Wilfried. Meet me at the next William Shatner Fan Club gathering. I am the one in the pink net tutu with whip.

;-D

J.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: John O'L
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 05:59 AM

Jennifer, can I reject you instead?

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Skipy
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 06:28 AM

rejection is only a scambled erection with a j
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Kweku
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 06:50 AM

take a plan to Afghanistan and join the Taliban, next enroll as a suicide bomber. when you are through with that then come back for rejection on this forum.

good luck

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Ernest
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 06:58 AM

Try Viagra...













Oh no.... that`s for erection

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: kendall
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 07:01 AM

Don't give me that , I know your type you putrid pile of parrot droppings! You make me puke You toffee nosed pervert...!

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 11:33 AM

That's the spirit, Kendall! Oh....just lovely.

Jennifer, what on earth makes you think I would be attending a William Shatner fan club meeting? I've seen him in those telly adverts. The man's a stupid prat. He's ridiculous. If you think you can entice me by using those sort of feminine wiles you mention, you are so wrong. Pink net tutu indeed! Give me a break.










Did you mean the part about the whip?

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Jennifer
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 11:57 AM

heh, heh, heh..













yes.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 12:48 PM

I believe that dealing in Soya bean futures can totally destroy a man's self respect.
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 03:37 PM

Very interesting story, khandu, though what it has to do with Wilfred's pathological need for rejection is about as clear as the Mississippi River in May. Perhaps it is a reflection of khandu's own pathological need for incoherence?

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Peace
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 03:39 PM

"RE: BS: I need rejection!"

Sorry, but I know you to be a sheep shagger extraordinaire, and there is no way you deserve rejection. The herd would miss you terribly.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 03:51 PM

philosophical question:

Is it truely possible to reject someone without first having jected them?

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 03:59 PM

Flock Peace, FLOCK !!!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 04:24 PM

Flock right off, in fact.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Becca72
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 04:32 PM

"The other dream of my youth was to marry a ravishingly beautiful and morally upright young woman who would make my life into a sort of domestic paradise"

Well, don't know about the rest of it, Wilfred, but I'm 'upright' at least.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 04:37 PM

Yeah Becca but if we move that post you'll fall on your ass.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Becca72
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 04:45 PM

shush up, Sins...you'll ruin my chances with this gem of a fella.
:-)

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Peace
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 05:18 PM

Masochist says "Hit me" and the sadist says "No".

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: khandu
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 09:50 PM

I am dismayed, BeeDubya...you, of all the Fellow Mudcatters, should have seen through my previous post. What better way to reject one than to refuse to acknowledge his existence?

Therefore, by telling my heartbreaking , yet poignant, tale of woe and misery, instead of presenting an on-topic response, I have sucessfully done as I had intended.

You may now argue that I have, with this post, defeated the purpose of the previous post. Not so, as I have still acknowledged the existence of no one but you and my Royal Self.

Kk

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Peace
Date: 21 Jun 06 - 09:52 PM

Fu#kin' A, whatever you said.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 03:38 AM

Some feelings are like an old car that we can't do anything about, and those who care about us - relieve us of the resposibility that we will never face ourselves - and bury the old car in a gulch, while we're out one day.

most of us face rejection every aspect in every facet of our emotional, artistic and social lives - rejection is is in nature itself - look at all the trees that have fruit growing at the top, that the tree doesn't want US to pick it. they want some bird to fly off with it some place else.

as someone said, if you look down the political threads you will see no end of people who need that rejection. they say provocative stupid things - downright hurtful things. these people crave the isolation - sometimes you find them bleating about the loneliness they have inflicted on themselves in other threads.

mudcatters being the kind generous people that they are generally, always seem to be nice and provide a shoulder for them to cry on. Its a nice safe gulch to bury those feelings.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: John O'L
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 05:11 AM

Khandu, Spaw was right. Your an idiot.

And I'm having seious doubts about you too weelittledrummer.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Mr Red
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 07:45 AM

Where do I find this Clinton Hammond bloke?

Just stick around a bit, register a moniker maybe, post a few things and....................

He'll find you.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 09:07 AM

One should not rely on the internet which is soon to undergo a dramatic squeeze on non corporate websites. One should become independent in the art of rejection.

What the rejection needy Wilfred needs to do first is to legally change his name.
Jesus Christ bin Laden should do just fine. Then undergo surgical timpanation with accompagning tattoo to highlight the procedure.
Then he should practice the peculiar personal hygene of Emile deMerde.

Some of us find the rejection we need by either defying the conspiracy of silence or becoming full fledged whistle blowers.
Wilfred however obviously needs something extra.

So until he/it/she begins to take respondsibility for his/its/her own rejection I refuse to reject him/it/her.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 09:20 AM

"Jesus Christ Bin Laden"

By God, that's brilliant! Imagine trying to cross borders or get a job with a name like that.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 09:32 AM

John thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt so long....

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 06:54 PM

I have changed my mind. I've decided that the best way to exhibit rejection of Wilfred Pennifere is to accept him. Since rejection is his abiding need, rejection of his need to be rejected is the ultimate rejection. And how does one reject rejection? By accepting.

Therefore, Wilfred, I accept you unconditionally!

Doesn't that make you feel rejected?

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: khandu
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 08:27 PM

BeeDubya! Your brilliance has been surpassed only by weelittledrummer whom John O'L thinks is possibly an idiom. I would say what I think but, according to Spaw, with whom John O'L agrees, I am an idiom. If indeed I am, as purported, an idiom, then anything I say would probably be idiomic.

k

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 08:39 PM

the things you say are idiomatic, khandu.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: John O'L
Date: 22 Jun 06 - 09:44 PM

Well done Khandu.
If the King Of Mississippi isn't an idiom then I'll be a minor dialect.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: khandu
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 12:03 AM

I used an idiomatic three times. Each time I lost money. Yes, I admit it. Three times I fell for it. I put in exact change as it demanded, press the correct button, waited and ... nothing. I thought maybe if I gave it a shake, but still no idio. Perhaps I did not put in exact change after all, so I counted it out one penny at a time...still no idio. What's a boy to do?

k

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 15 Aug 06 - 09:36 PM

I am returning, albeit briefly, to say how disappointed I was with the kind of lacklustre rejection I experienced on this forum.

I expected worse of you people.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: bobad
Date: 15 Aug 06 - 09:38 PM

Oh Christ! not you again.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 15 Aug 06 - 09:45 PM

I detect a hint of rejection in your post, bobad. That's good. Tell me more...

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Janie
Date: 15 Aug 06 - 09:52 PM

Go away, Wilfred. I don't like you.

There, better?

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Alba
Date: 15 Aug 06 - 10:11 PM

When one does not find what one seeks where one is looking Wilfred perhaps it is time to take note of others opinions on a topic. Take Charlie Chaplin's thoughts on the subject for example:

"Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves."

It would seem rejection is something that can be accomplished alone...*smile*

Now Pi** off please Mr.Pennifere:)
Rejectfully,
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred :Pennifere
Date: 15 Aug 06 - 10:17 PM

I like the way you think, Jude. Dare I hope that you are female, eligible, and suitable for a lifetime of blissful partnership together with yours truly?

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: leeneia
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 10:14 AM

Wilfred, I'm surprised that no one has told you the certain path to rejection, i.e., play one of the following instruments

banjo
accordion
bodhran.

Good luck!

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Janie
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 10:30 AM

Did you mean to leave 'spoons' off of that list?

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: jeffp
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 10:55 AM

And of course shaky eggs!

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST, I was there at the beginning man
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 11:29 AM

Don't waste your time on this boring thread, posted by no-hoper Winifred or whatever her name is. Instead post on our "will this thread reach 85 billion posts" - much more worthwhile pursuit.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 12:17 PM

Just be sure, Wilfred, that you don't post in the 85 Billion thread until the counter hits 100. I don't want you in the club.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: leeneia
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 12:21 PM

Certainly I meant to leave spoons off the list. I happen to be a spoons virtuoso.

Will Wilfried finally feel the ultimate rejection now that Guest has mistaken him for Winifred, a woman? Could be.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: kendall
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 12:54 PM

Bugger off Wilfred. We don't want your kind here, you've given sodomy a bad name.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST, I was there at the beginning man
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 01:32 PM

Good point KB

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 01:38 PM

... and don't come sniffing 'round me to let you have one of my spare 'dedication' posts either Winnie, after good, decent and honest people have made 100 posts (i.e. not you)

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Basil Fawlty
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 02:08 PM

Wilfred!!! You detestable, malodorous, utterly contemptible little pissant! May you rot inconsolably in the seven pits of hell, there to be spat upon and reviled by demonic entities unto eternity. May your familial line be wiped out and removed entirely from the face of our fair Earth, till not even the memory of you or your worthless, witless antecedents remains. You, sir, are dung. You are a festering blot on the face of Creation. You are foolish, moronic, and infantile. Your works, such as they are, serve only as a reminder that terminal idiocy is far too slow a process to do its work in a timely fashion. The mere supposition that any woman would be interested in becoming your mate is worse than laughable...it is an insult to all womankind! You, Wilfred, are a crawling slime, a gormless, gibbering, simpering, incompetent piece of effluvium splattered upon the great windshield of Time. If God had seen you on the 7th Day, Wilfred, he would not have gotten a wink of rest! If Satan had seen you, he would have known despair, realizing that all his nefarious plans to disrupt God's works were as nothing compared to the sheer, indescribable horror that is inflicted upon the world every time you open your mouth and speak! Yes, Wilfred, your words and even your very unspoken thoughts are like a loathsome disease that sucks the life from all those it touches. Your estilential nature and disgusting personal habits cause all to shrink from you in shuddering horror. You are viewed like a poisonous malady, a creeping plague upon the land. Animals as well as people cannot tolerate your presence, but go to great lengths to avoid you. You are so disgusting that mere words cannot describe it. You are everything that is detestable and without merit. May you perish miserably, Wilfred, and may carrion birds and hyenas gorge themselves on your putrefying remains!

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 03:52 PM

But how do really feel, Basil? Don't hold back now.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 03:58 PM

Merciful heavens! My needs have finally been met in full measure! Thank you, Basil, thank you! Where others have failed, you have succeeded. You are a credit to the Brittanic nation. My cup runneth over with rejection.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Basil Fawlty
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 04:37 PM

Just joking, I like you really!

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 04:45 PM

You surely can't mean that, Basil! If so, you have ruined a perfect day.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: leeneia
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 05:44 PM

Sorry, Wilfried, he does mean it. Why else would he do so much typing at your behest?

I think you should give up your quest and take up a musical instrument. You can't lose that way. If you are bad, you will be rejected, and if you are good, you will enjoy yourself.

au revoir

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred's Mother
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 11:06 PM

I am so embarrassed to see my loser of a son making a spectacle of himself again. I want to assure you it is not my fault. I did everything I could to try to make that boy a success. Really, you would not believe all the sacrifices I have made to try to make sure that boy was not a loser like his father.

And he knows it! Lord knows, I have told him often enough. If I had known how he was going to turn out, why, I never would have had him! I didn't want children to start with, but I didn't know I was pregnant until it was too late....Well, anyway, since there was no turning back, I made up my mind that I would have the best, the smartest, the most talented and gifted son it was possible to have. Trying to take my mind off the loss of my perfect size 6 figure as I grossly swelled from that little leech growing inside of me, I began to plan how to insure he would be perfect! I gave him everything! Everything! And I did my best to guide him every step of the way. But (sigh) like father like son, they say.

Humph. And his father was way too soft to be any help at all. All he did was undermine my efforts. Why, I remember a birthday party Winfred went to when he was 7. When we got home, at the dinnertable, I was critiquing his social behavior, so he could do a better job next time. The little wimp started to cry, and his father actually yelled at me! Boy, did he ever get a piece of my mind right then and there. He never undermined my childrearing again!

For awhile there, in his early twenties, I though Winfred might amount to something after all. He finally seemed to take my oft-repeated advice to heart. When I would point out to him everything he had done badly or wrong, he started saying in a quiet voice, "Thanks, Mother, I needed that." Needless to say, I thought all my years of hard work and sacrifice had finally paid off.

A few months after this started, however, he disappeared. Didn't leave a note or anything. Truth to tell, I wasn't sorry to see him go, the little ingratiate of a failed human being. Eventually people, myself included, forgot about him. I could hold my head up in public again. I told people he had gone off to Harvard, become a lawyer, and was working at the Whitehouse. Imagine my horror and embarrassment to see him turn up again, here of all places.

As I said before, it so embarrassing to have him turn up here. I know he is a complete, total failure at everything he has ever undertaken, but I just wanted to make it absolutely clear that it has nothing to do with me, or the way he was raised.

Sincerely,

Narcissia Trump (nee Pennifere)

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 11:35 PM

I hate you, Mother. Hate you, hate you, hate you. Have you ever wondered why your beloved Pomeranian, Chi-Chi, died? The filthy little thing! I recall that it succumbed to a painful internal ailment after eating some truffles you gave it. Oh, deary me! Was it really the truffles? Or was it...something else? Something in the truffles? Well, we'll never know, shall we? Do you know, Mother, that I keep a picture of you in my wallet at all times? It's one that shows off your lacquered hair to excellent advantage, what with the blue tinting and all. Oh, yes, indeed, it's right there next to the picture of the Boston Strangler. I sometimes study them both carefully in the light of the waning moon and ponder the vagaries of fate. Why was I born to a complete bitch? It's a mystery. Perhaps I am being punished for the sins of a previous existence. Perhaps God is a sadistic pervert and is playing a cruel joke on all of us.

I would invite you to my humble flat in Soho, Mother, but I know you couldn't bear to see your son living in such poor accomodations, especially since there are no original oils by any of the Masters on the walls or any of those dreadful Victorian china romantic figures that you adore so. You know, the little shepherd boys and the ballerinas with the frilly dresses?

Do sleep well tonight, Mother dear, and be sure that all the windows and doors are locked tight because we wouldn't want any criminals or axe murderers to get in now, would we! Goodness no.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Peace
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 11:37 PM

"I am so embarrassed to see my loser of a son making a spectacle of himself again."

I take it he's an optometrist who fell into his lens grinder?

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred's Mum
Date: 16 Aug 06 - 11:59 PM

My dear Mr. Peace, how did you know? What discernment! See what I mean about him? Only a first class failure would do something so careless.

Oh! What was that noise? I think I best go make sure the doors are locked and pour myself a glass of that good Australian Shiraz to calm my nerves.

Not that I am worried by that last post from a person purporting to be Wilfred. My low-life of a son would never have the cojones to threaten his mother like that.

Would he?

Narcissia

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 06:25 PM

I got rejected by the barmaid at Willoughby's last night. It was humiliating, but not nearly as humiliating as when her neanderthal boyfriend "Reggie" and his barely sentient mates took me out in the street, thumped me severely, stripped off all my clothes and threw me naked in the middle of the roundabout. I was arrested by a passing constable for indecent exposure and a minor pedestrian traffic violation, but they decided not to charge me when they had all the facts. They just laughed and sent me home. That was quite humiliating as well. The filthy brutes who attacked me have gotten off scot free.

It was so stimulating that I am considering going to Willoughby's again as soon as my arm is out of the sling. This degree of rejection is not found every day, and I savour the next go-round with much anticipation.

My mother, by the way, is still alive. Pity. She did not send flowers or a card or even call. That's typical. When she dies, I am going to hire a brass band to play "Happy Days Are Here Again" over her fresh grave, and I am also going to give her little fluffy terrier, Lord Nelson, to an insane vivisectionist...if I can find one. I'm sure there is one in Soho somewhere. I'll ask around at the Chinese restaurants.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: terrier
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 06:56 PM

***I think you should give up your quest and take up a musical instrument. You can't lose that way. If you are bad, you will be rejected, and if you are good, you will enjoy yourself.***

Just take up the ACCORDEON, if you're bad You'll be rejected and if you're good you'll still be rejected.

SHIT!! Why am I reading this?????

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: chrisgl
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 07:29 PM

Just look how many are completely ignoring this thread - which is some measure of success

chris :-)
(wondering how you lost your ject in the first place}

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Scoville
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 12:00 AM

Dang--I almost missed this thread. I'm an old hand at dishing out rejection. I was out with a friend the other weekend and some random guy came up and handed me a flower. I have issues with accepting male attention, no matter how inconsequential, and my friend tells me that the look on my face would have frozen diesel fuel and she thought she should warn him to take up a safer hobby (like maybe hand-feeding alligators). Anyway, he walked away before I came to my senses or I might have punched him out.

I'm not normally a mean person, I just have problems with romance. My brother asked me to put together some music for his wedding and I had to decline because I didn't know any love-related songs that didn't end in death (a college friend of his played the violin. I was the photographer instead).

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 07:31 PM

Rejection: Would fuck off suffice or is that too blase?

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 07:45 PM

It's far too offhand to just say "fuck off" to a person like me, and leave it at that. It's pedestrian. It's common. It's inane. It's as if you didn't care enough to really get nasty and personal about it. I don't want rejection that sounds like it can hardly be bothered even voicing itself. I want rabid, foaming, sneering, snarling, thundering outright bloody contemptuous rejection, and no mistake about it! I want rejection that stops just short of a capital offence. I want rejection that strips away my last vestiges of cowering humanity and tosses me bleeding in the gutter, spits in my eye, and shakes its fist in my face!

In other words, I'm saying you could have done a whole lot better...

Your lacklustre rejection underwhelms me, GUEST. I could say the same of this entire forum, with one or two exceptions. The time I have spent here has mostly been a waste.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: Pompy
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 03:24 PM

Hi Wilfred,

You ask us for rejection, but you give us very little to work with. How can I meaningfully offend a person I know so very little about? I could be offending anybody and I know that's not what you want. Could you say a bit more about yourself? That might help a bit.

So, why should we deride you Wilfred, why do YOU deserve so much and others so little? You're borderline lazy it seems to me.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST,Wilfred Pennifere
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 05:44 PM

Popinjay, I was absolutely gobsmacked when I read your post! I have revealed much here already about myself, my family, and my life's greater dreams and aspirations. Perhaps you have not read the earlier posts? Nevertheless, there is a great deal more I could tell, so you may have a point. I'll have to give it some thought, and get back to you.

I wonder if people would like to know about my socks and my personal hygiene habits? Or the time I wrote a 7-volume adult fantasy novel about a civilization of intellingent newts that my Granny said was the best thing she ever read, but it got nothing but rejection slips from the publishers? Or my rare and exotic beetle collection? Or the time I was caught hiding under the pews at St. Matthews, so I could...well...no, perhaps I should just leave that one for later.

Subject: RE: BS: I need rejection!
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 08:05 PM

"Or the time I was caught hiding under the pews at St. Matthews"

Pervert. That was my mother's dress you were breathing up. Hail Mary me arse.