BS: Tasteless and Warped

Subject: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 05:44 AM

Okay.....So it's no secret that I have a mind that lives out where the buses don't run............but there are a few of you that are neighbors! For all of you who have a warped groove and see humor in things that label you as having a sick mind, I have a news story for you.

If you're warped, CLANK ON HERE........No explanation is needed. If you're prim and proper and all of that, go away.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 06:13 AM

On a more obvious note, there's this!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:57 AM

Limbaugh's was not worth the ink - and I did not 'get it' with regard to the other one.

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Becca72
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:58 AM

Well, I'm just as twisted I guess because I found both of those amusing. "Fell asleep at the reins" is what got me.

Reminds me of a story that came out a few years ago about a group of people watching a mime in the park...guy suffers a major coronary and drops dead, clutching his chest, gasping, the whole bit, and no one did anything about it because they thought it was part of his act...I'm just sick enough that I found that funny, also.

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:59 AM

Hey, I know where Huntington Township is! I used to work out that way!

As for Rushy-poo...I'm not surprised at all. But being a mild mannered person I shall refrain...shall refr...shall re...shall...geez, I didn't know he needed that to stand erect....

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 09:18 AM

So Rush Limbaugh takes viagra.... so what? musta been a slow day at customs...

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Jeri
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 09:21 AM

I didn't think the story about the Amish man who died was funny. Maybe it's because I've known too many people with horses and it didn't seem absurd to me, just sad. The funniest thing about the Rush story is that his lawyer said the prescription was, "labeled as being issued to the physician rather than Mr. Limbaugh for privacy purposes." Like: "Hey, put this in your luggage -- nobody will know it's yours."

As much as I think Limbaugh is a jerk, they are putting way too much effort into nailing him for some chickenshit charge.

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: John O'L
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 09:40 AM

I like how the doctor is prepared to 'fall on his sword' (so to speak) for the greater cause of Limbaugh's privacy.

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: mack/misophist
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 09:59 AM

The thread title leads one to believe that it's about me. What a disappointment!

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 10:07 AM

Guess my sense of humour which can be warped is not working today.

I didn't find the first one funny and the second one (although in fairness, perhaps, I don't "know" the guy) just had me thinking "haven't US customs, etc. got better things to be doing with thier time?".

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 12:13 PM

well, if you want really a FUNNY Amish buggy story click here

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 12:38 PM

With all due respect to the loss suffered by his family, the bizarre humor in Mister Keim's unfortunate demise is inescapable. It has the makings of a classic Greek tragedy with 21st century appointments.

And Mister Limbaugh's bid for privacy in matters penile certainly backfired, wouldn't you say? A well deserved karmic twist, considering how much unmerited embarassment based on exagerration, distortion and plain olde twisting Mister L has handed out to others over the years. His public image will be linked with erectile dysfunction for the rest of his life; how perfect.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 12:40 PM

The funniest thing for me was the fact that the guy had 17 children! No wonder he was tired......did the cops check his pockets for viagra as well?

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: GUEST,Lefty
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 01:19 PM

Customs Service always gives special attention to know drug abusers. Odd that he had Viagra though...... I thought all those consevative apologists were dickless.Just limp dicked, I guess.

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Wesley S
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 01:30 PM

If it wasn't for Rush's previous drug problems I doubt this would have ever been reported.

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 01:51 PM

Very suspicious - two Amish men and an Amish woman were out in a buggy at 2 AM "for unknown reasons". A drug deal gone bad?

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 01:51 PM

US Nuclear Missile Site Attacked by Clowns
On the 20th Of June, a former Catholic priest and two veterans attacked the E-9 Minuteman II missile silo, while dressed as clowns.   
They used bolt cutters, a sledge hammer and normal household hammers to gain access to the facility and started hammering the 110 ton lid that covered the 300 kiloton nuclear warheads.   
They did this primarily as a part of "a call for national repentance" for the 1945 nuclear bombing of Japan in WW2. They also painted "It's a sin to build a nuclear weapon' on the silo lid. The guards reacted and the clowns "ate a lot of gravel".   
Source: www.military.com

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 01:53 PM

Viagra and painkillers... guess we can say for sure that the 'sex cures headaches' theory doesn't work then....

LTS

(Who is truly warped because I found the first story funnier than the second, mainly because of the 'fell asleep at the reins' headline and I don't know the other chap but realise he's important in the US).

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 01:55 PM

Becca, I agree with you! While it is sad and tragic, the unfortunate headline "asleep at the reins" was just too much.

Sorry Folks if I offend but even in the most tragic of circumstances I often find humor. I blame this on my best friend's Dad who would go to funerals and you'd see a crowd gathered where Charlie had everyone laughing......sometimes at the expense of the deceased! Please understand that I certainly see the sadness in the Amish story, but that headline was ridiculous and worthy of a chuckle (for me).

Last week, Karen's Mom fell in St. Martin hitting the back of her head. They suspect she was brain dead as soon as she fell, but they life-flighted her to Atlanta to a specialist her employer knew. Thing is, the life-flight had to clear through Miami and they had to take her through customs.   Sorry, but that made me laugh and it eased the tension when I said, "What were they expecting her to declare?" Please don't explain.... I know why they did it.

Like Jeri, I think they're after ol' Rush, but the fact he needs Viagra and carries it under another person's name was a bit too much!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Raptor
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 03:24 PM

Rush takes Viagra to make himself Taller!

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Becca72
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 04:17 PM

Spaw,
I can completely see how the whole 'customs' thing would be funny. My family makes jokes out of most things we probably shouldn't, but that is how we deal with pain and sadness. And it works for us.

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 04:58 PM

Spaw, that IS funny about the customs!

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 05:40 PM

clop. Clop. Bang Clop Clop Bang.

an Amish drive-by shooting.

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 09:24 PM

Well, if I must fall asleep while driving, I'd rather do it in a horse-drawn buggy than an automobile. The horse will probably not allow the buggy to run off the road and smash into a tree. In fact, the horse probably knows the way home and can get there with no human help at all unless there are man-made isues like traffic signals to deal with. I doubt there are many horses smart enough to know the right-of-way rules at a four-way stop.

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 09:28 PM

Ok. Did anybody think this thread could have been started by anyone one other than Spaw? Thought not....

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Anonny Mouse
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 10:41 PM

Amish Drive by---LOL, ROTFLMAO--etc. Did a stint in central PA for Grad work...near Lancaster, Amish capital of the US I think. It's shitty driving near dusk, trying to get up Rt. 15 or to I-80 north of Harrisburg. Guess what it's like coming up on a buggy doin' about 8mph at 55mph?? Get the pic?

Nice folks them Amish--but really: please join the current century. What's all this "primative" bullshit prove? Any Amish here? (That's a joke!!!)

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 10:43 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 10:44 PM

Opps, sorry--

so in the case of Limbaugh's Viagra, was it issued in the name he uses for the, uh, little feller? Shouldn't every scrip for that be issued in that way?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 11:42 PM

If my husband used Viagra I'd kill him!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 11:42 PM

How would you know???

Forced tox screen after every engagement?

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 11:46 PM

If ya don't have a sense of humor, it isn't funny!

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 28 Jun 06 - 09:22 PM

I can't see why getting killed when you fall asleep at the reins when driving a buggy is in any way funnier than getting killed when you fall asleep at the wheel when driving a car.

Of course when you do that you're quite likely to kill someone else as well, but surely that'd make it even funnier. Someone falling asleep at the wheel and running over into a bunch of kids waiting at a bus stop, now wouldn't that be really hilarious...

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: frogprince
Date: 28 Jun 06 - 09:32 PM

I think all of you who laughed at these things need to repent and confess to your priest, or to Jerry Falwell, or to your Unitarian clergyperson, or somebody immediately!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jun 06 - 09:52 PM

Sorcha, if your husband did use Viagra, it might kill you.

Many use the drug for purposes of a second performance without an extended (no pun) interval between the two.

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jun 06 - 09:59 PM

I think I have finally been convinced that there is an advantage to having anonymous Guests.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: JennyO
Date: 28 Jun 06 - 10:43 PM

Did anyone notice the line:

Authorities ........ do not believe speed or alcohol were factors.

That struck me as funny too. I guess I'm just one sick puppy...

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 29 Jun 06 - 05:33 AM

Viagra and painkillers... guess we can say for sure that the 'sex cures headaches' theory doesn't work then....

Maybe it was the painkillers that didn't work, and he needed the Viagra 'cause he wanted to try out the sex cure.

You'd 'a thought he would have tried it at home though....

For someone on probation for using illegal drugs, attempting to conceal in any way who a drug prescription of any kind was for is just plain STOOOPID ..

Oh yeah, it was Limbaugh... ... I guess I'm being redundicant.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: MarkS
Date: 29 Jun 06 - 03:23 PM

Limbaugh said the told the doctor he was worried about the next ELECTION.

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 06 - 03:28 PM

YEah, he's been haunted by that electile dysfunction...


A

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Jun 06 - 07:08 PM

So tasteless and warped, OK.....

Remember 'way back we giggled about the National Dylsexic Association, for a bumper sticker? So what about Deaf-Mute Tourette's on a bumper sticker? Yes I know, Tourette's can be more a physical tic than a voiced exclamation (almost said "ejaculation" and that IS more correct)...

But just imagine Tourette's and deaf-mute; I'm sorry, there is a tasteless and warped response to that thought.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Jun 06 - 09:19 PM

Now that's funny!

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Mr Red
Date: 30 Jun 06 - 08:09 AM

OK I am Prim & Proper today

I'll warp tomorrow

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: robomatic
Date: 30 Jun 06 - 05:31 PM

Definitely not a fan of Limbaugh, but I sympathize with anyone who gets nailed in that situation.

"Becca, I agree with you! While it is sad and tragic, the unfortunate headline "asleep at the reins" was just too much."


spaw you're a moron. I've got friends not unlike you, and I'm not blameless, so you're in company.

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Wesley S
Date: 30 Jun 06 - 05:34 PM

"Asleep at the reins"

Hey - that's a great name for a band !!

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Jun 06 - 05:54 PM

"Tourette's and deaf-mute"

Public gesticulation?

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Jun 06 - 07:42 PM

Unlike President Clinton we have not yet been deluged in descriptions of Rush Limbaugh's penis.

Is there anyone who will team up with me to melodize some of my 1,000 impromtu lyrics????????????????


Killin air time
and killin pain
Rush is back
to kill again

Limbaugh is a
Yankee doodle
but his thang is just
a limp wet noodle

He is not just
hard of hearing
he's soft on drugs
and strong on Goering.

Maybe he's not
tasteless and warped
but on Clinton's penis...
he wallowed and slorped.

Its seems to me
that Rush is slick.
He made his living
on another man's dick.

Rush is honest
as the day is long
he spouts the truth
but his truth is wrong.


chorus:
I heard Limbaugh
cheats at Yahtzee.
Still he sure loves Bush
not girls... the Nazis.

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 30 Jun 06 - 08:13 PM

It all puts me in mind of an old riddle, to wit:

Q. What do you call an Amish guy with his arm up a donkey's butt?

A. A master mechanic

Okay, so it's corny, but I, too, had to laugh at the untimely demise of the Father of 17 (and his poor horse, blameless in the whole thing)..."asleep at the reins" indeed! One wonders if perchance he'd a drop too many of the dandelion wine so oft found at these "farmers' markets"...

~D

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: wysiwyg
Date: 30 Jun 06 - 08:43 PM

LOL, Bill!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Jul 06 - 04:53 AM

OOoh.... dandelion wine... found some in a cupboard once. My grandmother had made it ~ now bearing in mind she was bedridden for 2 years before her death, and we found this stuff 8 years after she died.... well! It about took our heads off. We nicknamed it 'Grannys Getup juice' and realised why she was bedridden!

Dandelions are evil when fermented...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 01 Jul 06 - 07:57 AM

Yes, fascinating what can happen to the most seemingly harmless fruits and greenery when fermented, innit? I have a friend who will make wine out of literally (well, almost) anything, and while there have been some hits and some misses, all have had the ability to get you where you wanted to go, if you take my meaning. I recall with particular fondness a blackberry variety on which we got fairly, er, pie-eyed!

~D

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Tootler
Date: 01 Jul 06 - 05:27 PM

The Amish story is very sad, though I can understand why Spaw found the headline amusing - at least the second headline.

When I was over there two years ago, I must admit that something I dreaded was running into a buggy. Especially as I was driving on the "wrong" side of the road and had to be careful to remember which way to look at junctions.

If your sense of humour runs this way, here is one from one of our papers:

A number of floral tributes had been placed at the roadside where a local policeman had been killed. Someone stuck a pigs head in the middle of them.

Not funny, especially for the dead man's relatives, but I was unable to prevent myself laughing. My wife's reaction was the same.

Subject: RE: BS: Tasteless and Warped
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 06 - 05:42 PM

In other news it might not be fully appreciated what kind of stress Spaw has been under lately, which explains why he is perhaps exhibiting diminished judgement. It seems to make ends meet, he has been moonlighting as a tech guy and making a, um, name for himself.

Rough life.


A