|
Subject: Lyr Req: Lady with missing parts From: artbrooks Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:34 PM OK...what is the song about the lady who takes a gent home and proceeds to remove her eye, wooden leg, etc? My brain is apparently on vacation. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: GUEST Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:37 PM Side by Side |
|
Subject: Lyr Add: IN THE SHADE OF THE OLD APPLE TREE(parody From: JeremyC Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:39 PM Wasn't that "In the Shade of the Old Apple Tree"? As Ramblin' Jack sings it, "Her glass eye and false teeth were on the mantle And on the bed, she hung her locks of hair And there was only one thing that filled my heart with sadness: She pitched her wooden leg upon the chair... And it was a limb from that old apple tree (etc.)" Or does that come from something else originally? |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: ClaireBear Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:42 PM Yes, it is a version of "In the Shade of the Old Apple Tree." Joe offer posted the lyrics here. Claire |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: pdq Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:42 PM Also "The Burgler Man". |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: 12-stringer Date: 02 Feb 07 - 01:59 PM Also "My Little Girl," by Jimmie Revard's Oklahoma Playboys, has an almost identical verse, with wig, glass eye, false teeth, and peg leg. "My little girl, you know I love you, but you're scattered here and there." |
|
Subject: Lyr Add: SIDE BY SIDE and AFTER THE BALL (parodies From: GUEST,Dave Hunt Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:09 PM There is a whole family of these 'spare parts' songs Side By Side O we got married on Friday, the4 vicar said it was my day When the guests had all gone, we were alone side by side We got ready for bed then, and I nearly dropped dead when Her false teeth and hair, she laid on a chair side by side Picture my amazement when her glass eye she let fall Her wooden leg and other things she stood up against the wall Now me and my wife we are parted before we even got started I slept on the chair - there was more of her there Side by side But there is also one to the tune of After the Ball After the baall was over she sat on the sofa and cried s She put her false teeth in salt water and took out her lovely glass eye She threw her peg leg in the corner, and hung up her wig in the wall Then the rest of her went to bye-byes After the Ball! And Geoff Ling of Blaxhall wrote one to 'Among my souvenirs' Dave |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Leadfingers Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:11 PM Art - there are a number of variations - Side by Side ws the first one I learned , closely followed by a similar rewrite of After the Ball ! There are variations of both of these in the D T ! |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Joe Offer Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:12 PM I think Old Maid and the Burglar is the Digital Tradition name for what pdq calls "Burglar Man." I couldn't find anything like 12-stringer's "My Little Girl" - do you have lyrics you can post, 12-stringer? -Joe Offer- |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Ruth Archer Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:13 PM There was an Irish one that i used to hear in a pub in Kentish Town, with a verse that went She had a wooden leg It was hollow in the middle She took it in her hand And she played it like a fiddle... |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: artbrooks Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:13 PM I think it is a version of Side by Side that I'm thinking of. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Leadfingers Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:13 PM And , come to thin of it , Steve Benbow used to do one , Maybe The Burglar Man , with the punch line "Lady for the Lord's sake , SHOOT!" |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Goose Gander Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:18 PM Discussed briefly in this thread |
|
Subject: Lyr Add: BURGLAR MAN From: pdq Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:24 PM Burglar man I'll tell you a story 'bout a burglar man who went to rob a house He creeped in at the window just as quietly as a mouse Thinkin' of the money that he would get, as under the bed he lay He certainly saw a sight that night that made hes hair turn gray About nice o'clock an old maid came in, "I'm so tired" she said Thinkin' everything would be alright, she forgot to look under the bed She pulled out her teeth, and her big glass eye, and her hair came from off'n her head That burglar man had nineteen fits as he crawled from under the bed She drew a pistol from out of the drawer, and to this burglar man said "Young man if you don't marry me, I'll blow off the top of your head" We'll he looked at her teeth and her big glass eye, and he had no place to scoot So he turned to the old maid standin' by, and said "Woman, for the Lord's sake shoot" Now the burglar man is dead I know, but I don't know where he's gone Up above, or down below, I'm now thru singin' this song |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Leadfingers Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:31 PM Ruth - Your Irish song was written ( I think ) by Liam Clancy and is a different song ! In the town of Mullingar there was a lassie dwelling I knew her very well and her story's worth the telling Her father kept a still and he was a fine distiller And when sh took to drink , the Devil couldnt fill her |
|
Subject: Lyr Add: THE VERY UNFORTUNATE MAN From: John MacKenzie Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:36 PM The Very Unfortunate Man There was a lawyer, his name was Clay He had but two clients and they wouldn't pay At last of starvation he grew so afraid That he courted and married a wealthy old maid At the wedding the lawyer made one big mistake 'Twas not in omitting the wine or the cake The ring was well chosen, they had a big feed But the lawyer did not get a warranty deed At night in their chamber the lady arose And began to prepare to retire and repose Her husband stood near her admiring her charms That gave him such pleasure to hold in his arms She went to the washstand to bathe her fair face And thus she destroyed all her beauty and grace The rose on her cheek quickly grew faint When he saw on the towel, 'twas nothing but paint He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man She went to the mirror to take down her hair And when she had done so her scalp was all bare Said she, don't be frightened to see my bald head I'll put on a cap when I get into bed She hung her false hair on the wall on a peg And then she proceeded to take off her leg Her quivering husband felt sure he would die When she asked him to come and take out her glass eye He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man Her husband was biting his quivering lips While she removed her counterfeit hips Just then her false nose clattered down to the floor And the poor lawyer, screaming, ran out of the door Now all you young men who would marry for life Be sure to examine your intended wife Remember the lawyer who trusted his eyes And a little bit later got quite a surprise He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man Giok |
|
Subject: Lyr Add: A DANDY FOR NINETEEN YEARS OLD From: Fred McCormick Date: 02 Feb 07 - 02:45 PM It sounds to me as though the song you're looking for is called The Damsel (or the Virgin of Nineteen years Old). In it, the singer meets and marries a young girl who then dismantles herself on her wedding night. It's in DT as A DANDY FOR NINETEEN YEARS OLD, from Logsdon, Whorehouse Bells Were Ringing pp.197-199. But for convenience I've pasted it below. As I went a-strollin' down by the Strand, I met a fair damsel so handsome and grand; She wore jewelry and finery of silver and gold, And says I, "You're a dandy for nineteen years old." Her fingers were tapered; her neck like a swan, Her nose a little turned up an' her- voice not too strong; Six weeks we were married and wedding bells tolled, I married my darlin', just nineteen years old. After the wedding, we retired to rest, Did my face change colors when my young wife undressed A bundle of padding from her form did unfold, Says I, "You're a dandy for nineteen years old." She took off her fingers, till I counted but three, Unscrewed her cork leg plumb up to her knee, Took out her glass eye, on the carpet it rolled, An' says I, "You're a dandy for nineteen years old." As I stood and I watched her, I thought I would faint, She scraped from her pale face a bushel of paint; She took off her wig an' her bald head then told She was nearer to ninety than ta' nineteen years old. So come all you young fellers when you courtin' to go Inspect your true love from her head to her toe, Or else you'll be ruined like me and be sold To a patched-up old geezer who's ninety years old. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Amos Date: 02 Feb 07 - 04:58 PM Sounds like "Unfrortunate Man", posted above, to me. I am impressed anyone else knew it!! I've sung it for decades. A |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: 12-stringer Date: 02 Feb 07 - 05:27 PM Joe: "My Little Girl" is a Broadway song from the 1910s. My little girl, you know I love you and I long for you each day, My little girl, I'm thinking of you, though you're many miles away. There was a time down in the wildwood when you promised you'd be true, My little girl, you know I love you and I'm coming back to you. Several hillbilly string band recordings in the 20s, including the Spooney Five, plus a delightfully off-key rendition by Haskell Wolfenbarger. The Revard band do the straight verse, then add another, approximate and off the top of my head as to lyrics. (Actually, with the LP not in reach, I think they do the comic verse first and then the straight one.) My little girl, you got sleepy, and you went upstairs to bed. You put your glass eye on the mantle, and your peg leg under the bed. You put your twelve teeth on the dresser and your blonde wig in the chair. My little girl, you know I love you, but you're scattered here and there. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: GUEST,Scoville Date: 02 Feb 07 - 05:36 PM There's a parody of "After the Ball" in which "there was nothing left of Maggie after the ball", since she takes off her wig, glass eye, wooden leg, false teeth, etc. Pretty funny. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Goose Gander Date: 02 Feb 07 - 05:54 PM Here are Some related threads plus the DT text. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Louie Roy Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:04 PM It also could be related to I can't change her it had these lines Then I got married like a lot of foolish men I met a girl bought a ring got married there and then But after we were married I got taken down a peg Her teeth her eyes her hair was False And she had a wooden leg But I can't change her no I can't change her No matter how I try So I'll trade her off for cord wood in the sweet by and by |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: GUEST Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:25 PM Try a search for DT number 651 for sone variations on what we cakk the "dismembered bride" theme. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Scotus Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:45 PM One night at halfpast ten, comin' down the Rothes Glen, I met a fair maiden called Calhoun - - - The night that we got wed, she was first to go to bed, Oh what a sight when I came in the room, there was her teeth and her golden hair, and her wooden leg on the chair, by the bright silvery light of the moon. etc. Jack |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Georgiansilver Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:48 PM I said "Darling of mine,it's a quarter past nine, I think it is bedtime don't you"? So she rose from the chair, took off her false hair, Her white pearly tetth came out too. One leg made of wood, one eye was a dud, Her nose she began to unscrew! And I cried with dismay, as her bust fell away, Am I wasting my time on you? |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: bubblyrat Date: 02 Feb 07 - 07:05 PM In the navy,we sang a song to the tune of "Among my souvenirs",where the lady gradually removes EVERYTHING until all that is left is her fundamental orifice, whereupon the following ensues :- " She said " I"m ready Dear ! " : He said " No bloody fear !- Just chuck it over here, among my souvenirs ! " " |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 02 Feb 07 - 09:20 PM . . ."with 'er 'ead, tooked, underneath 'er arm!" Dave Oesterreich |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: GUEST Date: 02 Feb 07 - 10:15 PM Louie Roy if you ever read this ... i'm a peter sellers fan and i'm searching for the song CIGAREETES, WHUSKY AND WILD, WILD WOMEN ... if you've got that in any version, please send it to me at martinrigo@hotmail.com Thank you very very much Martin |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Jim I Date: 02 Feb 07 - 10:44 PM There is an article on this at http://www.mustrad.org.uk/articles/dung05.htm As to the wooden leg/fiddle song, isn't that "The Town of Ballybay by Tommy Makem? |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: katlaughing Date: 02 Feb 07 - 11:57 PM Guest/Martin...do you mean THESE LYRICS? (Email sent.) |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Wordsmith Date: 03 Feb 07 - 12:03 AM I never knew the name of the song, but an Irish friend of mine regaled me with it one night eons ago in her Chicago apartment over a cup of tea. It had me rolling...I laughed so hard, tears flowed. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Fliss Date: 03 Feb 07 - 03:44 AM Was it 'side by side' that the Corries sang? Hi Dr Sunshine - are replacement hips to do with body parts being removed... hip hop, sunshine and smiles... Fliss:) |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: John MacKenzie Date: 03 Feb 07 - 04:57 AM I'm not so hip, but I got two hips, new hips steel hips hip hip hooray. I feel like a hippy again. Giok |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: jimlad9 Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:30 AM A variation on some of the previous is: They were two newly-weds. She had just made the beds. And as they climbed the stairs they felt a little shy. She took out her glass-eye,her false teeth on the sly. Her golden hair she hung upon the chandelier. Then next her wooden leg she placed beside the bed. And what was left of her she put between the blankets. She said "come on my dear" He said "no bleedin' fear,I'd rather stay out here amongst your sovenirs" |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: GUEST,Dave Hunt Date: 03 Feb 07 - 11:25 AM Thank you Fliss - it is still not right - I,m still on crutches after 7 months! Dave(Dr.Sunshine) |
|
Subject: Lyr Add: my sweet old etcetera (e e cummings) From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 03 Feb 07 - 03:34 PM Not a Lyric - but a delightful poem for memorization - and recitation (the pregnant pause is playfully powerful) "My Sweet Etcetera" by E.E. CUMMINGS ... conjures thought of a woman removed. my sweet old etcetera aunt lucy during the recent war could and what is more did tell you just what everybody was fighting for, my sister isabel created hundreds (and hundreds)of socks not to mention shirts fleaproof earwarmers etcetera wristers etcetera, my mother hoped that i would die etcetera bravely of course my father used to become hoarse talking about how it was a privilege and if only he could meanwhile my self etcetera lay quietly in the deep mud et cetera (dreaming, et cetera, of Your smile eyes knees and of your Etcetera) Sincerely, Gargoyle |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Fliss Date: 03 Feb 07 - 03:49 PM Soz to hear that Dave. xx ee cummings seems to be on another thread too.... 'with up so floating many bells down'(Anyone) |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Captain Ginger Date: 03 Feb 07 - 04:29 PM Thanks for that, gargoyle; I'd forgotten just how good e.e.cummings could be. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: GUEST, Lady C Date: 03 Feb 07 - 07:18 PM My Mum used to sing the After the Ball version - After the ball was over Nelly took out her glass eye Put her false teeth into water Shook up her packets of dye Stood her cork leg in the corner Hung up her wig on the wall All that is left goes to bye-byes After the ball. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 03 Feb 07 - 07:26 PM I believe it is Faulkner who... has a titilating tale of a Bible salesmen...that works his way through the Appalachian Hills....seducing one legged women and then stealing their prosthesis.
Sincerely, |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: John on the Sunset Coast Date: 03 Feb 07 - 08:21 PM The Unfortunate Man--sung by Chad Mitchell Trio (also Jimmie Driftwood?). |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Genie Date: 03 Feb 07 - 11:43 PM I know this is not the song you were looking for, Art, but there's a verse in the Weavers' song Get Up And Go that's along the same lines: MY GET UP AND GO HAS GOT UP AND WENT Cho: How do I know my youth is all spent? My get up and go has got up and went In spite of it all, I'm able to grin When I think of the places my get up has been Old age is golden, I think I've heard said But sometimes I wonder as I crawl into bed My ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup My eyes on the table until I wake up ... |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Declan Date: 04 Feb 07 - 07:05 AM One version of this I heard years ago (sung by Mick Fitzgerald) was called "The bright silvery light of the moon", which I assume is a parody of another song with the same title, although I don't know the original song. It ends up withe cautionary lines "You could wind up just lke me, Marrying a woman and half a tree, by the bright silvery light of the moon". |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: GUEST,cookie708 Date: 29 Nov 11 - 05:37 AM After the ball was over, Nellie took out her glass eye.... Put her false teeth in water, Hung up her hair to dry... Put her false leg in the corner, Hung her tin ear on the wall... Then what was left she put to bed, After the ball |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: GUEST Date: 23 Jun 15 - 02:57 PM Looking for a ditty about Mable on the Table. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: GUEST Date: 31 Aug 19 - 09:12 PM Does any know where I can get an audio of A Dandy For Nineteen Years Old ? I have heard The Very Unfortunate Man, that's not it. I heard A Dandy For 19 once on an open mike radio. Thank you. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: GUEST,Starship Date: 01 Sep 19 - 09:47 AM GUEST Date: 31 Aug 19 - 09:12 PM The lyrics are there. Couldn't find anything on YouTube. https://www.horntip.com/html/songs_sorted_by_name/with_music/d/a_dandy_for_nineteen_years_old.htm |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: GUEST,Starship Date: 01 Sep 19 - 10:03 AM GUEST Date: 23 Jun 15 - 02:57 PM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFkAqixIIAU |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: GUEST,Starship Date: 01 Sep 19 - 10:26 AM GUEST Date: 31 Aug 19 - 09:12 PM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_yHe9N4bX0 Found the melody you want at that link. (Listened to two stanzas and wish I hadn't, but there ya go.) |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woman whose body parts are removed From: Ross Campbell Date: 02 Sep 19 - 07:36 PM GUEST Date: 31 Aug 19 - 09:12 PM Ray Johnson of Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers performs "Nineteen years old" on a YouTube clip that I can't find at the moment. Monologue rather than a song, although a tune readily suggested itself when I wanted to sing it. Ross |
| Share Thread: |
