The Home Security CD!

Subject: The Home Security CD!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 12:37 AM

"The Home Security CD!"

I couldn't believe my ears - I just heard an ad on the radio flogging this - with a testimonial by 'a retired detective inspector' (Policeman!) saying that if a burglar listens at your window and hears silence, then they will break in, but if they hear...

(cue grams - sounds of washing up)

they won't!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not making this up you know!

Blimey, I can remember the old LPs of dogs barking...

Now, I'm sure we can do better than that!

This is a music forum, what CD do YOU think should be in your CD player to drive burglars away?

:-)

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Peace
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 12:39 AM

Rap music.

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Amergin
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 12:39 AM

bagpipes.

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 12:48 AM

Not bad for a start guys, but... Come on, I don't want this thread exiled below the line...

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Peace
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 12:50 AM

At first I thought the title was "The Homeland Security CD" and I thought there'd be nothing on it.

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 12:52 AM

I supose the orchestration would be by John Cage then, Peace?

;-)

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Amergin
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 12:52 AM

Didgeredoos.

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Fred McCormick
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 05:45 AM

How about a gang of all in wrestlers?

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: SouthernCelt
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 08:53 AM

Where I live playing rap would just make the perp think a party was going on and take it as an invitation.
I'd think a good 'sound' would be the sound of a pump shotgun slide being racked and an occasional comment like, "Honey, hand me that box of 12 gauge magnum buckshot..."
SC

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 08:56 AM

Reading the Soldier bible deck of cards thread it would seem that that would do the trick!

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: artbrooks
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 09:51 AM

How about a mass bodhran, bagpipes, benjo and didgeredoo ensemble, playing Lawrence Welk music? Tiny Bubbles, maybe?

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 09:52 AM

A good Haka from the All-Blacks Rugby scrum?

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 10:31 AM

I've been hearing this ad too, Robin, and was thinking that it just wouldn't work in my house. The one window which gives a really clear view inside, is my kitchen window, where my sink is. If they heard sounds of washing up with no-one standing at the sink, they would KNOW nobody was home.

I would have thought the sound of a TV and voices in conversation would work better.

On the other hand, my friends' CD of hurdy gurdy and pipes played loud might slow them down a little :-)

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 10:45 AM

There's the so-called "fear cycle" in the subsonic range. You can't hear it, but you "feel" it. I think it's about 30 cps, but I'm not sure.

Or you could just record a presentation by an evangelical missionary exhorting you to their religion....

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: terrier
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 12:38 PM

Just play English trad folk....really loud, that should turn'em away. Seems to work for Folk Clubs......




OOOOOOOPS!!! Did I say that :~)

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Scrump
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 01:02 PM

Freedom Fields? Witness? Thought I'd say it before anyone else, to get 'em out of the way! :-)

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 04:52 PM

Just to clarify things - we want something to just scare away burgulars, not upset the whole neighbourhood!

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Peace
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 04:59 PM

Get "I LOVE SMITH and WESSON" stickers for your windows. Just under it write, "I hope you don't mind loud noises."

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 05:12 PM

I think a track of howling wolves would give a prospective burgular pause.

Another track that would work just as good, maybe better, would be "Sonny's Dream."

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Peace
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 05:14 PM

Maybe posters that read, "My favoUrite movie is 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'. C'mon in."

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Peace
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 05:26 PM

A poster of this man with thcursive writing that reads, Everything I know about the human body I learned from you. Fake his signature. Display in the living room where it can be seen from the window, and leave the curtains open.

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 06:13 PM

Well, I was looking for music...

Say, how about Lennie Cohen? Or would the effect be too slow?

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 06:54 PM

The Laughing Policeman

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Peace
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 06:56 PM

"I raise spiders. Please exercise extreme caution in the house."

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 07:26 PM

Lots of fierce power in Taiko Drumming.(you tube video)

Or, how about a Dueling Shamisen and Taiko?.

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 07:36 PM

It's hard to say what would repell or attract a would-be "burglar" nowadays. Hell, most of us can't even spell the word correctly! But getting back to the CD, how about a recording of a revival meeting? Or a recorded discussion of a "mission statement" by your favorite non-profit organization? That should send the prospective burglar flying into the night.

Personally, I'll stick with "Sonny's Dream." That's bulletproof as far as I've experienced.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: terrier
Date: 10 Feb 07 - 07:49 PM

Charlie, would Sonny's dream be the song 'Sonny, don't go away, I'm here all alone' etc?
I really like that song, shame on you!

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 02:38 AM

Now we're getting on the right track McGrath, Charley, (if you'll pardon the expression!)...

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Darowyn
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 04:30 AM

I think something a little darker might work.
Maybe a little chanting followed by,
"Accept the blood of poor wretch as sacrifice, O Satan, Lord of Darkness......"
or a scream followed by,
"No No please, just let me go , I'll never break in to anybody's house again. No! Please. AAARGH!" (Manic laughter)
Cheers
Dave

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 10:24 AM

Terrier-

You're more than welcome to enjoy or lead "Sonny's Dream." Send me an MP3 recording so I can add it to my Home Security CD. ;~)

Now Dave's suggestion might have the unfortunate consequence of attracting the attention of the police, if some non-burglar came to the door and became alarmed at the sounds coming from inside.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Ernest
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 10:38 AM

put a sign on the door "Musicians home: please don`t dump any more banjos or accordions"

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 10:42 AM

Record someone who has never before played the bagpipes playing the bagpipes....

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Sorcha
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 12:38 PM

With gunfire percussion.
Warning! Attack Banjo!
Forget the Rotweillers--just don't feed the Accordian!

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: GUEST,Frank Hamilton
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 12:59 PM

I have a friend who plays the Rush Limbaugh program on his radio when he goes out. All the angry talk and fighting sounds like someone is home. When he returns, he immediately shuts it off.

Frank Hamilton

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 03:14 PM

Frank-

That works for me!

We do have a sign warning about "ATTACK CATS" but that might not deter the intrepid but foolish burglar. We worry some about cleaning up the mess, shards of flesh, blood spattered-dashed here and there. Not a pretty sight and that's when they're just playing!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: GUEST,mick p royal marine shanty crew
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 03:21 PM

my mate playing? the Hurdy Gurdy. No on second thoughts not even a SLIME BALL burglar deserves that.

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: terrier
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 03:50 PM

Charley, how can anyone not like Sonny's Dream

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: terrier
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 03:56 PM

A custom/habit in UK you'st to be to leave the latch key hanging on a piece of string accesible through the letter box. A person I know (better not give any clues)leaves a primed gin trap hanging there!Just in case a burglar started fishing for a key.Maybee just a tad OTT.

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 07:06 PM

"gin trap"?

We don't call them that in the States. Checking out one on a website, it looks like a big vicious bear trap. I was initially assuming this was a typo, given that "i" is next to "u" on the keyboard. I don't mess with Terrier!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: JudyB
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 07:12 PM

You know, terrier, I'm not sure Charley could bear to follow your link.... :~)

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 08:49 PM

Anyone playing scales on any instrument. Preferably with a few mistakes thrown in.

Subject: RE: The Home Security CD!
From: Peace
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 12:58 AM

Have you thought of keeping a crocodile in the house and don't bother warning burglars at all?