BS: Worst Mime Ever!

Subject: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 11:07 PM

Okay, we've done the easy stuff. Now how about mimes?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 12:42 AM

Ok - I'll start - Panto-mime.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 04:33 AM

Oh no it isn't!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: fat B****rd
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 04:34 AM

O mime papa.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Severn
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 07:32 AM

Don Rickles

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Jeanie
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 07:35 AM

OK, Little Hawk, I can rise to that challenge !

Last year I saw a touring production of "Three Men in a Boat", based on the book by Jerome K. Jerome, with a cast of three very distinguished thoroughly British RADA-trained actors. Immaculate delivery, characterization, vocal projection etc. etc., but could they mime ??
Montmorency, the dog, was played by an invisible, make-believe creature, who they had to mime picking him up, stroking him, talking to him and so on. My main entertainment in watching this play was seeing how the invisible Montmorency changed miraculously in size and weight throughout: one minute he appeared to be a little miniature poodle, the next, nothing short of a great dane. Very entertaining, but definitely the worst mime ever !

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 09:30 AM

Oh, THAT'S where Gluon was!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 10:25 AM

The one who was hit with an olive loaf by Opus, the penguin in Bloom County.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 06:24 AM

"the invisible Montmorency changed miraculously in size and weight throughout: one minute he appeared to be a little miniature poodle, the next, nothing short of a great dane"

The "Director" is responsible for that stuff up - it's his JOB to sort out that sort of confusion.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Scrump
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 06:25 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Scrump
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 06:25 AM

(That last message was me miming)

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 07:34 AM

'It's dark as a dungeon, way down in the mime'

'New York Miming Disaster 1941'

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Scrump
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 07:47 AM

"The Blackleg Mimer"

"You're 16, You're Beutiful and You're Mime"

"I Me Mime"

"Coal Mimer's Daughter"

"The Canny Mimer Lad"

"Where There's A Mime Or A Hole In The Ground..."

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 08:05 AM

Springhill Mime Disaster

"...I been a coal mimer all of my life..."

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: GUEST,Bainbo at work
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 09:26 AM

If mime artists need to impress people in order to earn enough to eat, I'd guess the guy on the left hasn't been going down too well.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Scrump
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 10:12 AM

This is me walking against the wind:















Waddya think?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 10:14 AM

Alas, "It was the worst of mimes, it was the best of mimes."

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Scrump
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 10:19 AM

Remember that song by the Pozo Seco Singers?

"Mi-i-i-i-i-ime..."

And these:

"The Mimes They Are A-Changin'"

"Let No Man Steal Your Mime"

"Bunch of Mime"

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Geordie-Peorgie
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 06:06 AM

"You took the ???? right offa the corn, Mime"

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Scrump
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 10:39 AM

"You took the ???? right offa the corn, Mime"

Plaster, G-P?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Scrump
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 11:01 AM

Wot abaht:

Mime Every Mountain

Buddy Can You Spare a Mime

Mime Street Blues

The Night Mime Is The Right Mime

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 01:57 AM

Isn't that like asking which was the worst plague?

Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 07:05 AM

Opus has always been a hero of mine and I too will go with Bill D. on this one.

But on the other hand, maybe I should name Marcel Marceau as the worst. Why? Because he came along and as a pretty proficient performer popularized the (I hesitate to use this) artform. Before that, only a few simpleminded twits actually gave a shit. Then along comes MM and all of a sudden we're up to our necks in mimes. Most of these had no talent or even worse! We were inundated with gyrating assholes flailing around as if we're supposed to know what they're doing. Not only did we NOT know, many of us didn't give a bad fuck from a whore with the clap what it was they were doing.

Most people aren't aware that there are 5 classes of mime: Dumbfuck, Jackoff, Horseshit, Limpdick, and Fuzznuts. None are any good.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 07:55 AM

I think the worst mine ever was the one my Grandpa had. He dug for more than 20 years and never got anything out of it except dirty clothes and some close calls with dynamite. Grandpa called it "Clara's Bounty" but Grandma Clara renamed it "The Old Man's Folly." Grandma sold it after Grandpa died and the city eventually used it for landfill.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 09:01 AM

Can you get Blank Lung by miming for coal?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 09:10 AM

I note, Spaw, that of the five classes of mime you listed there are four classes (Dumbfuck, Jackoff, Limpdick, and Fuzznuts) whose names are derivative of or connected in some way with sexual organs or sexual actions. All well and good. But then there is one class that stands out glaringly apart, nameley the "Horseshit" class. What does this mean? Horseshit is not a sexual reference, it is a reference to equine excrement. That is not logical. I think you have made an error in regards to the 5th class of Mime. You also listed "Horseshit" fourth, and I believe that in itself is an error. It is my opinion that "Fuzznuts" should be listed fourth, but it is unclear to me what term should be applied to the Fifth Degree of Miming.

If you were to admit to having made an error here, I think it would move the discussion forward in a useful manner.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 12:35 PM

Actually Hawk, they aren't levels but classes as I said. The classes tend to fall in to a classic "bell curve" with Horseshit in the center and with the most members. Whereas the Dumbfuck mime tries mightily but is too stupid to even be a mime and the Fuzznuts is a rank amateur with little hope of becoming anything but worse, the Horseshit Mime is the true classic with no talents or skills or great ambition and generally beyond all hope as both a mime and a human being and with no redeeming social value of any sort.

Owing to their great numbers, it is within the law in the United States in every state but California to shoot all Horseshit Mimes on sight. In California the mime must be given the chance to remove the sillyass makeup before being fired upon.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 01:29 PM

Oh, I see. He's like the Shane McBride of Mimes. Well, thanks for that explanation. I'm glad that California is being progressive as usual when it comes to this matter. I bet the average life expectancy of a Mime in Texas or Alabama can be measured in minutes...

Isn't it a blessing that people like Elvis, Joni Mitchell, and Andy Kaufman did not decide on pursuing a career in Mime?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: John Hardly
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 04:10 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 05:20 PM

(right back atcha!)

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Scrump
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 12:07 PM

Isn't it a blessing that people like Elvis, Joni Mitchell, and Andy Kaufman did not decide on pursuing a career in Mime?

But there are plenty of pop singers that I wish had done so :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 01:50 PM

I get the giggles when I picture Joni Mitchell as a mime artist. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: GUEST,Patrician
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 01:25 PM

"Learn the words!"

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 01:43 PM

oh, LEJ! You oughta be..............proud! *grin* I have waited years to get off one of that quality.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever! Marcel MoreSo-(A sequel)
From: Severn
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 05:08 PM

Could it be Mimey Farina, perhaps? Or Mimey Eisenhauer?


Can you drive away "Morris Mimers" at any speed?


now, Elvis was not only not a fan of them, he even sang a song about "Suspicious Mimes".



Black culture didn't look on them very kindly either:

"Troublesome Mimes, I'm blue,
But I won't be blue always...."

And "Silent" Jay Hawkins never sold many records. His coffin lid didn't even creak.....




Can you tell when a mime has Lung Cancer? No coughin' on the way to their coffin...



.....Maybe we could stage an anti-mime production of Auntie Mame where mimes get maimed and give out the kinds of screams that Paul Simon could write hit songs about.

Did you know that Marcel Marceau guest starred on the great legendary lost episode of "Mimey Vice"?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 16 Mar 07 - 08:42 PM

Bill

Glad you thought it was funny. Felt like I'd farted in a crowded elevator for a moment there.

E

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: fat B****rd
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 03:12 PM

At Marcel Marceau's funeral there was a minute's noise.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 04:53 PM

LOL! Excellent. That truly would be a tribute at a funeral attended by large numbers of mimes.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 08:03 PM

"a funeral attended by large numbers of mimes". I can't think of anything more bizarre, frankly. That's a scene fit for Fellini or Ken Russell or Bergman.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst Mime Ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Mar 07 - 08:14 PM

Yeah, it's a creepy thought, isn't it? Imagine being at a political convention of the Mime party....