Somebody sent the following to my wife in an e-mail. Whether or not it was actually printed in the Times of London is largely irrelevant. It is still fun to read.

Stephen Lee Rich



An Obituary Printed In The London Times


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:


Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm;
life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by
simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and
reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).


His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.


Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job
that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent
to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.


Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses, and
criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a
beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home,
and the burglar could sue you for assault.


Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled some in her lap
and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.


Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is
survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone
Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.


Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you
still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

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