Johnny Cash's "City Jail" has always tickled me:


City jail, city jail
Like an old scared dog, I tuck my tail
I hung my head and not a careless word was said
I gotta sleep on the floor once more at the city jail

Back when I first came to this town
I was mindin' my own business (like I always do)
When I saw this waitress in this bus station cafe
And I thought I check out the action (like I always do)
Well, I gave her the eye and made a few choice personal comments
About what I thought mine and her possibilities could be for a team
When she called the badge on me
The badge grabbed me by the arm and he said
What are you doin' hangin' around here for?
And I said for whatever's goin' around.

City jail city jail...

He said no what I mean is what are you doin'
Sayin' things like that to that lady?
And I said what's that lady's doin' with purple hair?
Well the badge said you're a smart aleck, ain't you son?
And I said no sir, I'm just hungry
And he said well you're actin' like a smart aleck
And I said well that's how I act when I get hungry

City jail city jail...

Well he put me outside in a dark corner
And before you could say hypocrite he hit me on the head
And I said oooh please don't hit me on the head
I can't protect myself with these handcuffs on
And he hit me again and he hit me again and he hit me again
And I said please don't stand on my feet when you hit me
I'll break my ankles when I fall

City jail city jail...

Well about that time they threw me in the wagon
And that waitress walked out with a sailor
I said hey you! Not you, I'm talkin' to the purple people eater
Yes you lady! Quote! You're the cause of it all! Unquote.
And she said get me away from that horrible man, Harry.

And as they hauled me away I said everybody have a nice evening