CarolC - it's a problem isn't it? Supposing my childminder's boyfriend had thought to take his dream seriously? What should he have done - after all it was pretty specific dream. What about the "Tower struck by Lightning" card (especially as we thought this is "bollocks" and it obviously had nothing to do with our personal situation). Maybe, if we'd had better memories and read the newspaper a bit more thoroughly re. Bin Laden's recent threat, we'd have remembered the previous attack and put 2 and 2 together. The appalling thing in retrospect after many events, is that certain things do add up and "if only I/we had done this that or the other ..." is part of grieving process.

I think we all just need to be far more aware of each other and ourselves: I still am haunted by (20 years on) by the memory of a colleague at work with whom I'd a brief fling, waving at me from the bus stop as I cycled past - like stop, talk - and I thought "It's cold, it's dark, I just want to go home" and then he went home, turned on the central heating, had an epilectic fit in the bath, and by the time they found him (30 hours later)it took 6 weeks to identify his remains.