Well, since no one else came up with it,
Here it is!!!

Noel P

Idrove my tractor through your 'aystack last night
(ohh ahh, ooh ahh)
I threw me pitchfork at your dog to be quiet
(ohh ahh, ooh ahh)
Now something's tellin' me that you're avoidin' me
(ohh ahh, ooh ahh)
Come on now darlin' you got something I need

Chorus:

'Cause I've got a bran' new combine harvester and I'll give you the key!
Come on now let's get together in perfect harmony,
I've got twenty acres, and you've got forty-three
Now I've got a bran' new
combine harvester and I'll give you the key!

I'll stick by you I'll give you all that you need,
(ohh ahh, ooh ahh)
We'll have twins and triplets, I'm a man built for speed.
(ohh ahh, ooh ahh)
And you know I love ya darlin' so give me your hand
(ohh ahh, ooh ahh)
But the thing I want the most is all the acres of land!

Chorus

For seven long years I've been alone in this place,
(ohh ahh, ooh ahh)
Pigs sleep in the kitchen, it's a proper disgrace
(ohh ahh, ooh ahh)
Now if I cleaned it up would ya change yer mind,
(ohh ahh, ooh ahh)
I'll give up drinkin' scrumpy (strumpy?) and that lager of lime.

Chorus

Weren't we a grand couple at that last Wurzel dance,
I wore bran' new gators and me cor-de-roy pants
(ohh ahh, ooh ahh)
In your new Sunday dress with yer perfume smellin' grand
We had our photos took of us holdin' hands!

Now I've got a bran' new combine harvester and I'll give you the key!
Now that we're both past our fifties, I think that you and me
Should stop this gallavanting and will you marry me?
'Cause I've got a bran' new combine harvester and I'll give you the key!

(Ahhhhh, you're a fine lookin' woman and I can't wait to get me hands on yer land)

Also by The Wurzels - The Blackbird