BS: My Favorite Insults

Subject: RE: BS: My Favorite Insults
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Oct 15 - 09:05 AM

"If I had a dog as ugly as you, I'd shave it's arse* and make it walk backwards"
*For my USA friends - "ass"

Subject: RE: BS: My Favorite Insults
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 Oct 15 - 08:52 AM

A few condoms short of an orgy.

"You're quite a nice bloke but your shit stinks. Nothing personal, you understand."

Subject: RE: BS: My Favorite Insults
From: GUEST,kenny
Date: 03 Oct 15 - 06:56 AM

"Son of a 1000 fathers.................."

Subject: RE: BS: My Favorite Insults
From: DMcG
Date: 03 Oct 15 - 06:00 AM

"That's very interesting.

I didn't say I liked it, I said it interested me"

Subject: RE: BS: My Favorite Insults
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 03 Oct 15 - 05:18 AM

May you live in interesting times.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: My Favorite Insults
From: GUEST,Sol
Date: 03 Oct 15 - 04:59 AM

He's depriving a village of an idiot

Subject: RE: BS: My Favorite Insults
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 03 Oct 15 - 04:46 AM

He's not got an inferiority complex, he is inferior.

Subject: RE: BS: My Favorite Insults
From: GUEST,Sol
Date: 03 Oct 15 - 04:43 AM

Unashamedly cribbed from another website ..........

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one." – (Response)->"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one."
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
"He had delusions of adequacy."
"He never opens his mouth without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support rather than illumination."
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

Subject: RE: BS: My Favorite Insults
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 03 Oct 15 - 04:28 AM

One sandwich short of a picnic

Not the brightest light on the Christmas tree

Too strong for light work

Subject: RE: BS: My Favorite Insults
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Oct 15 - 02:47 AM

Mouth-breather is a good one, along with knuckle-dragger.

And if you're into enjoying insults, be sure to listen to Nell Flaherety's Drake. Classic (curses, actually, but they add up to insults).

Subject: BS: My Favorite Insults
From: Wesley S
Date: 02 Oct 15 - 10:02 PM

Recently I was reading some detective fiction by John Sanford. One character said about a criminal : If he were any dumber we would have to water him twice a week. That insult has moved to the top of my list. Others I've been known to use are:

He's as dumb as a box of rocks.

He's a waste of oxygen.

He's a mouth breather.

He doesn't have the good sense to pour piss out of a boot.

He's from the shallow end of the gene pool.

And knowing that folks at the Mudcat have a talent for colorful language I thought you might want a chance to add to the list. You don't need to use them on each other. Let's just compile them for the good of mankind. I have an appointment at a bank next week and I may need some new fresh ideas. Thanks.