Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Bee
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 06:36 PM

I think there are a few in that linked list I posted up-thread, Jim. ;-)

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 06:11 PM

HUGGIN' AND CHALKIN' is indeed a great one. It is also very musically interesting. Lyrics have been posted several times: here, here, and here.

Don Edrington's Big Band & Swing Era Popular Music Page has a sound file of a performance by Hoagy Carmichael.

Hey, being overweight isn't strictly a women's problem. Aren't there any songs about fat MEN?

Subject: Lyr Add: HUGGIN' AND CHALKIN' (from Johnny Mercer)
From: mrmoe
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 05:31 PM

by Johnny Mercer

I gotta gal that's mighty sweet,
With blue eyes and tiny feet.
Her name is Rosabelle Magee,
And she tips the scale at three o three.
Oh! Gee, but ain't it grand to have a girl so big and fat
That when you hug 'er you don't know where you're at?
You have to take a piece of chalk in your hand
And hug a way and chalk a mark to see where you began.

One day, when I was a-huggin' and a-chalkin'
And a-chalkin' and a-huggin' away,
When I met another fella with some chalk in his hand,
Comin' around the other way, 'round the mountain,
Comin' around the other way.

Nobody ever said I'm weak.
My bones don't ache and my joints creak.
But I grow absolutely limp,
Ev'ry time I kiss my baby blimp.

Oh! One day I had a yen for someone leaner,
She was meaner than a mink in a pen.
So I left her now I'm happy as a fella could be,
Huggin' and chalkin' in once again, 'round my Rosie,
Huggin' and chalkin' in once again.

One day I was a-huggin' and a-chalkin' and a-beggin' her to be my bride,
When I met another fella with some chalk in his hand
Comin' around the other side of the mountain,
Comin' around the other side.

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Artful Codger
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 05:29 PM

Uncle Bonsai: "Fat Boys":

Skinny boys got nothin' to lean against in bed,
Bony arms and shoulders only bruise my head...

You get the gist.

The also have one called "Another Fat Song", but not quite as complimentary.

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Megan L
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 04:40 PM

Ah Liz we will miss yer dulcet tones on the Chocolate song at the McMudgather this year

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: GUEST,cStu
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 04:34 PM

John Lee Hooker's "Big Legs, Tight Skirt" ('Bout to drive me out of my mind)
Louis Jordan's "I Like 'Em Fat Like That"


And what's that song that Donkey sings to the Dragon at the Karoake on Shrek 1

"I Like Big Butts" or similar 8~)

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: meself
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 04:34 PM

There's a song that Ma Rainey recorded that begins, "Charleston, South Carolina, that's where I born". A couple of verses I vaguely remember:


I'm a big, fat mama, got the meat hanging on my bones,
I'm a big, fat mama, got the meat hanging on my bones,
Every time I shake it, some skinny gal loses her [own?].

Goin' back to Charleston, gonna get my hambone boiled,
Goin' back to Charleston, gonna get my hambone boiled,
These northern men gonna let my hambone spoil.

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: bubblyrat
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 04:17 PM

Now Sarah's my girlfriend and I loves her so,
'though her's big as a haystack, and forty years old-
Farmer Brown says she's enormous, and loud he did scoff,
'cause you has to leave a chalk-mark to show where you left off!

From : "Dorset Is Beautiful", as sung by The Yetties.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE YOUNG WOMAN FROM THE COUNTRY
From: Bee
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 04:09 PM

Here, I've written an instant 'old ballad' for the occasion. ;-D

The Young Woman from the Country

I was the child of a farmer brave
He worked himself to an early grave
Said I this farming's not for me
And I roved off to the grand citee

When I got there, what did I see
So many maids, but there's none like me
Around their waist you could set a ring
That round my throat would make me sing

Their hips are sharp as a well honed knife
No farmer lad would take these to wife
Such eely arms no calf could hold
No fruits could carry when they are sold

Their legs like twigs of the willow green
No muscle there that could be seen
How could such walk all the miles to town
When need there was, without falling down?

Above their thigh, no curve so round
No softness there could a lad have found
Their breasts so high as to meet their chin
No room for even a pretty pin.

But I so plump as a partridge brown
My legs so round push against my gown
Below my waist my hips do swell
And all the rest is round as well

Those maids did laugh when I wandered out
But mirth and scorn did not me rout
I stood up proud, and proud was I
And here's the reason, I'll tell you why

When I walked out to enjoy the park
Those city lads my progress mark
Though skin and bone their ladies be
Their longing eyes do follow me.

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 04:02 PM

Cushy McCoy -- based on but different from Cushy Butterfield.

"She's a big lass and a bonny lass
And she'll make your head spin.
Old Cushy's in fine shape
For the shape that she's in."

I sing it -- got it from the Irish Rovers back in the '70s.

Linn

Subject: Lyr Add: THE CHOCOLATE'S NOT FOR YOU
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 02:35 PM

My name only appears on '16 stone' because I have been known to sing it on occasion and the words were collected from me.

My own contribution is thus, written one Sunday evening and developed over the Internet by JackoNZ.

Oh the chocolate's not for you, my chubby lassie o, X2
Oh the chocolate's not for you, for your trousers will not go,
And your belly's overflowin', my chubby lassie o.

Do you mind the fruit and nut, my chubby lassie o? X2
Do you mind the fruit and nut, that in your gob you put,
And you shovelled down your gut, my chubby lassie o.

Aye ye loved the caramello, chubby lassie-o X2
Aye ye loved the caramello, but it fairly made ye swell
And it gied ye plooks as well ma chubby lassie-o

Did you eat the coffee creams, my chubby lassie-o? X2
Did you eat the coffee creams, did they give you nasty dreams,
Did you let out all your seams my chubby lassie-o.

Was it one last chocolate cake my chubby lassie-o? X2
Was it one last chocolate cake, in that creamy custard lake,
That made your waistband break, my chubby lassie-o.

Now your clothes they dinna fit, my chubby lassie o, X2
Now your clothes they dinna fit, you've expanded quite a bit,
And your seams have gone and split my chubby lassie o.

Naw the chocolate's no' for you, my chubby lassie o, X2
Naw the chocolate's no' for you, and your dancin' days are through,
Till the chocolate you eschew, my chubby lassie o.

Oh the chocolate's no' for you, my chubby lassie o, X2
Oh the chocolate's no' for you, for your belly's ower fu',
And your zipper winnae pu' my chubby lassie o.



LTS

Subject: Lyr Add: CHOLESTEROL (Adam McNaughtan)
From: bfdk
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 02:29 PM

Judy Small's The Advertising Game and

Cholesterol
(Adam McNaughtan)

I've been takin' advice on right things to eat
Since shortly before I was born
Like the National dried milk and the cod liver oil
And powdered rhinoceros horn
Well, in those days they told us tae lay aff the starches
The sugars, potatoes and breid
Now they've done a U-turn, and they tell us these things
Will give us the fibre we need

Cholesterol, cholesterol
My chance of survival is small
But I'll no get a dosa anorexia nervosa
For I love my cholesterol

Well, I'm not going to take the advice that they make
About changin' the way I should eat
Like cuttin' oot cheese, and no chips if ye please
No chocolates, no ice cream, no English beef
Well they tell us to give up these goodies below
And they offer us pie in the sky
Ah, well semi-skimmed milk may diminish my bulk
But I'll take double cream till I die

Cholesterol, cholesterol
My chance of survival is small
For the cream I consume it could lead to my doom
For I love my cholesterol

Well I don't mind them probin' in my haemoglobin
If it's just for a case history
But it puts the Health Visitor into a tizz
It's her duty tae try and save me
She says fresh fruit and yogurt's a lovely dessert
Why don't you give it a try
Well I don't give a hoot for her yogurt and fruit
I'll take Black Forest gateau and die

Cholesterol, cholesterol
My chance of survival is small
For the way that I dine, I'm on course for angina
But I love my cholesterol

Cholesterol, cholesterol
My chance of survival is small
But I'll no get a dosa anorexia nervosa
For I love my cholesterol

might fit your requirements ;-)

Best wishes,

Bente

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: mg
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 02:17 PM

I am the man the very fat Man That Waters the Workers' Beer

our boss was a fine man down to the ground he married a woman six feet round [Drill Ye Tarriers Drill]

Subject: Lyr Add: SOFT AND ROUND (Grit Laskin)
From: Barbara
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 01:59 PM

SOFT AND ROUND
(Grit Laskin)
As recorded by Grit Laskin on “A Few Simple Words,” 1996, which you can hear on Spotify.

1. When a tire is flat, we don't like that.
A singer singing flat is not where it's at.
No one likes flat feet or beer without the fizz,
So tell me what good a flat stomach is?

CHORUS: Let my stomach be soft and round,
Round, round, soft and round.
Feels so phony to work at being bony
And hard as the cold, cold ground,
Oh, hard as the cold, cold ground.

2. Now, once upon a time when humans were new,
No one seemed to care what shape they grew.
Along came fashion, and it became a sin
To be a little too thick, but never too thin. CHORUS

3. There were whalebone corsets to hold the body in.
They squeezed all your insides up to your chin.
In our enlightened times, we're not so dumb as that.
A surgeon cuts you open and vacuums out the fat. CHORUS

4. I once ate only carrots and lost six pounds,
But when I gave up carrots, I gained back ten.
Then I lost twenty, gained back twenty-eight.
Great thing ’bout dieting: you put on weight. CHORUS

5. So I gave up on diets and Nautilus machines.
I'm living with the code that's in my genes.
Be I plump or thin, whichever way I'm built,
Bring on the chocolate cheesecake; to hell with all the guilt! CHORUS

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: meself
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 01:53 PM

By the way - do you REALLY think this whole thing is a good idea ... ?

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Bee
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 01:30 PM

Deckman, check out this link.

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/dimtext/kjn/lyrics/song.htm

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: meself
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 01:23 PM

"Built for Comfort" and "Three Hundred Pounds of Joy" by Howlin' Wolf (recorded by him, anyway). A little more positive than Too Fat Polka!

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 01:15 PM

Too Fat Polka...I don't want her, you can have her, She's too fat for me...Arthur Godfrey.

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Deckman
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:40 PM

WOW ...I'M IMPRESSED! And yes ... it certainly does sound like a very dangerous gig. Keep 'em coming, and thanks! Bob

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: pdq
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:33 PM

"Chicken Cordon Bleus" by Steve Goodman ("Fat is where it's at...")

Subject: Lyr Add: SIXTEEN STONE and ALL AROUND MY FAT
From: lady penelope
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:26 PM

Sounds like one of the verses from '16 stone'.

SIXTEEN STONE
(Hazel Absalom)

She weighs 16 stone and what do you get,
A whole lot of woman and that's a fact.
Take a closer look, you must agree,
There's no sharp corner on a woman like me!

You can't cuddle up to a bag of bones,
If her ribs stick out, leave her well alone.
We've a soft welcome for a man in need,
We're surely built for comfort if not for speed!

Cho: She weighs 16 stone and what do you get,
A whole lot of woman and that's a fact.
Take a closer look, you must agree,
There are no sharp corners on a woman like me!

Well if you've seen more meat on a greasy spoon,
She won't keep you warm, get rid of her soon.
So come on guys, if you're down in the dumps,
Better get your arm around a gal with bumps.

Well the magazines say be skin and bone,
But big girls never have to sleep alone,
We don't disappear when we turn on our side,
And there's plenty of suspension for a bumpy ride

Well if you see us coming better step aside,
A lot of men didn't and a lot of men died.
One gives you desire, the other a thrill,
If the tall ones don't get you then the small ones will!

By Liz the Sqeak?
@feminist
filename[ STONE16

Then there's the parody I wrote....

All Around My Fat
Lyrics by: Penny Ward (submitted by Micca)
Tune: All around my hat (Traditional)

Chorus:
All around my fat
I will wear the Playtex Girdle
And all around my fat
For an evening and a day
And if anyone should ask me
The reason why I'm wearing it
It's all for my true love
Who thinks I'm built this way

Verse 1
Take half a pound of talcum
And a small jar of Vaseline
A shoehorn comes in handy
It's the biggest you've ever seen!
You put it all together
And you will plainly see
I'm a different shape completely
And in abject agony

Chorus

Verse 2

The other night he bought me
A small box of lingerie
All frothy lace and satin
The colour of ivory
I went to change and left him
Anticipating hedony
So much for Janet Reger
I can't get them past my knees!

Chorus

Verse3

Fare thee well Weight Watchers
And fare the well the step class
Three stone have I gained
And my waistline I have lost
I'll eat and I'll be merry
Dispense with guilt and calories
I'll stuff the sodding 'F' plan
It's a fry up for me tea!

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Marion
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:14 PM

There's a song I've heard where the hook line was something like "I'm built for comfort not for speed..". Maybe somebody else can supply a source or correct title.

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Marion
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:12 PM

Fat-Bottomed Girls by Queen.

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Melissa
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:11 PM

Grow, Mrs Goldfarb--Alan Sherman, I think

Too Much Butt (for One Pair of Jeans)

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Cats
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:08 PM

There's always, 'Sixteen Stone' which you will find on another thread and 'Big Knicker Blues'. Both definitely worth doing.

Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Melissa
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 12:01 PM

That sounds like a dangerous gig!

Huggin' and Chalkin' (maybe called something like Rosabell McGee?) is only moderately offensive

Subject: HELP ... 'Fat Songs?
From: Deckman
Date: 08 Jun 08 - 11:52 AM

I have a dear friend who meets weekly with a group of "overweight" women. She's been asking me for several months to come and sing "fat songs" at one of their meetings. I have declined so far, largely (there's a pun there) because I can't think of any "fat songs." Does anyone have any suggestions? Bob(deckman)Nelson (still skinny in Seattle)