BS: Getting a drunk out from under the porch

Subject: RE: BS: Getting a drunk out from under the porch
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 01:36 PM

Bee-dubya-ell, she'll then have to get rid of the bears. And hibernating bears don't take kindly to be being awakened early. They get right touchy about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Getting a drunk out from under the porch
From: wysiwyg
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 12:18 PM

Play some of these under there and see if it draws the drunk out to play:

Shut Up Little Man

It will at least further amuse the neighbors. Especially if Buddy Rich lives next door.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Getting a drunk out from under the porch
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 12:14 PM

Aha! Got it! Send a PM to John From Hull. John, as most of us know, is congenitally incapable of spelling "beer". It's always "bear". Just get John to send you a case of bears. When the bears arrive from Hull just pitch 'em under the porch. The bears will probably be very hungry from their transatlantic journey and the drunk will either leave or become supper.

That, of course, assumes that the bears arrive before they begin their winter hibernation. If they arrive too late you'll just have to live with the drunk until spring.

Subject: RE: BS: Getting a drunk out from under the porch
From: wysiwyg
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 12:04 PM

Oh I thought I read the title as: Getting a drunk out from under the porch.... waiddaminnit-- that IS the thread title!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Getting a drunk out from under the porch
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 12:04 PM

That's Moosehead beers, not real mooseheads.

(Though it would really look bizarre in kind of a surrealistic folk-artish way to have big old antlered fuckers lined up for a mile or so along the road. Maybe Christo could wrap 'em in silk or somethin'. Headline: Major Artistic Happening in Rural New England Town.)

Subject: RE: BS: Getting a drunk out from under the porch
From: InOBU
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 12:03 PM

Hey Jimmy Skunk: It is less funny after the tortured death of the poor soul who was alowed to slowly die impaled on that woman's car's windshield in Texas. Folks with mental problems and drinking problems are human as well as you... as Phil Ochs sang, "there but for fortune". As to the question. As I said, the fellow is a human. Many people with problems live on my door step. I have over the years been present to God in them, and know most of their first names. I worry about my elderly mother, with her bad eyesight falling over a fellow sitting on the door step, and I sit down and discuss this with them. As a result, it is rare that folks "live" on my step. Folks may pause there for a short rest and move on. The benifit to this is remarkable, I have learned other languages from them, (struggled with Dene - Navajo) and learned a lot about many things. But, one of the more touching moments... well two now come to mind. One, Genie my wife was comming home and an agreesive fellow who had been drinking was hasseling her. Suddunly the fellow was surrounded by about six of my homeless neighbors. They began yelling at him to respect "the professor's wife". One, a dear soul named Vinny, a MicMac from Canada put a finger to the guy's chest and said, "you don't have the manners to live on the street with us!" The other story is, I was busking in Thomkins Squair Park. All the fellows I usually give handouts were sitting huddled on a bench as I played. As I was packing up, one of the guys came over with a big handful of pennies nickols, dimes, they had all scrapped together to put in the case.
Be present to that God in all of us and a way will open to you.
Yours in the light
Larry

Subject: RE: BS: Getting a drunk out from under the porch
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 11:57 AM

Get Clinton to send you the skunk from under his porch.

No.... that won't work. A skunk has much more class than to share a crawlspace with a drunk.

How'bout you leave a trail of Mooseheads from the porch to the nearest pub.

Subject: RE: BS: Getting a drunk out from under the porch
From: GUEST,Bat Goddess SS
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 11:50 AM

Well, rapaire has a point, I might get some good songs - I'll have to check for my tape recorder. Hang on he's singing about squatters rights.........damn

Subject: RE: BS: Getting a drunk out from under the porch
From: GUEST,Jimmy Skunk
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 11:46 AM

Hell - it's just a damn drunk. shoot him and then drag him out and bury him. Who'll miss him.

Subject: RE: BS: Getting a drunk out from under the porch
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 11:44 AM

Try baiting a trap with a bottle of Mad Dog. Then take him miles and miles away and release him. Don't kill him there or he'll stink up the place, and besides, it's soooooooooo hard to explain to the cops.

Hmmm...are there any bawdy songs you don't know or which aren't in the DT and should be? If so, record 'em and THEN trap him out.

Subject: BS: Getting a drunk out from under the porch
From: GUEST,Bat Goddess SS
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 11:40 AM

Any ideas? He's been there for a couple of days and seems to have a large stash of booze. Maybe he's there for a while. The smell and the bawdy songs are starting to grate on my nerves a bit. I don't want to dob him into the law just yet. Oh deary me, what to do?