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BS: Joke thread for 2025
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Donuel Date: 01 Aug 25 - 08:00 AM There are 3 high temples of materialism in America, 1. The Mega Prosperity Churches. 2. TV shows like The Price is Right and Let's Make a Deal, which is more honest since you run a one in three chance of getting a worthless Zonk deal. 3. Then there is the new Presidency. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Donuel Date: 01 Aug 25 - 07:35 AM Pete Seeger fed his family despite the banjo because of good ideas. What urban creature keeps musical time? A metro-gnome. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 31 Jul 25 - 04:41 PM What's the difference between a banjo player and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Donuel Date: 29 Jul 25 - 08:46 AM A husband would always turn the lights on when he initiated a romantic encounter, but his wife would then turn them off. One day, he said, "I am surprised you still feel shy and turn off the lights". The wife said, "That's so cute. You think it's me, I don't want you to see". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 28 Jul 25 - 04:46 PM Waiting For Dinner by Sally Vating |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Georgiansilver Date: 28 Jul 25 - 10:42 AM I told a friend the joke about the wall....He couldn't get over it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Mrrzy Date: 27 Jul 25 - 03:01 PM What' a moslem's favorite Mexican dish? Inchalladas! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 27 Jul 25 - 09:03 AM Have you heard the covers band Paper? Apparently they only cover Rock. RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Georgiansilver Date: 27 Jul 25 - 06:27 AM There is a joke about margarine too but not heard it lately as people are not spreading it. |
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Subject: you either think it's a joke or you don't From: Mr Red Date: 26 Jul 25 - 10:40 AM I "cooked" up a joke about Marmite, it's a crocker......... I tell 'em better (in a Frank Carson voice) but I can't tell you it's in bad taste |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Mrrzy Date: 26 Jul 25 - 09:20 AM I am resisting reposting my joke about plagiarism! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Raggytash Date: 24 Jul 25 - 06:26 PM Perhaps in the wrong thread? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: MaJoC the Filk Date: 24 Jul 25 - 04:04 PM Stolen from the comments section for Stop flooding us with AI-based grant applications, begs Health Institute in (surprise) The Register:
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Aethelric Date: 24 Jul 25 - 01:33 PM My brother is a lovely girl. She's my transister. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 24 Jul 25 - 07:50 AM What is God's favourite chord? Gsus |
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Subject: chip designer's joke From: Mr Red Date: 24 Jul 25 - 06:19 AM One from Don Macmillan who does very funny jokes with PowerPoint. Why is the Higgs Boson the Pope's favourite particle? Because without the Higgs, there would be no mass. he was a chip designer at IBM |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Georgiansilver Date: 22 Jul 25 - 02:55 PM I asked God what would our lifetime be in His reckoning He told me it would be less than a second. asked God 'What would £1,000,000 be like if it were yours...God replied that it would never be but that a million pounds would be like a penny to Him. I said to Him...'Can I have one of your pennies'? He replied 'Of course my son..just wait a second' |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Donuel Date: 22 Jul 25 - 07:27 AM In a discussion in physics class about the Fermi paradox, a young student asked, " What's a billion years of difference in evolution among friends?" The professor quickly answered, "It's about the same difference between a Mimosa plant and Einstein." |
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Subject: Things I find amusing From: Mr Red Date: 22 Jul 25 - 05:02 AM After dancing with an elderly dancer she says "that was energetic I am sweating" Says I with a knowing smile "was it good for you?" after just enough delay to prove the ambiguity had registered - she laughs gently and reflectively. Remembering something. cue joke police |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 20 Jul 25 - 12:10 PM My Motorcycle Accident by Kay Moffitt |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Donuel Date: 20 Jul 25 - 10:44 AM They say it's best to have unlikely relationships and when disagreeing, to not be disagreeable, so a few advanced alien lifeforms have learned to share their observation of Earth. A first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons." The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?" The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 19 Jul 25 - 03:18 PM Gilly - Here's a vote for you to stay. -F |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 19 Jul 25 - 09:09 AM That's a good one. I'm stealing it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Mrrzy Date: 19 Jul 25 - 08:48 AM I made up a new word! I call it Plagiarism. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 19 Jul 25 - 05:24 AM A couple go into a restaurant. The man orders two bowls of soup as a starter. When the waiter returns, the man notices that he has his thumb in his, so he says "If you're thumb's cold, why don't you shove it up your ass?!" and the waiter says "Well, I do when I'm in the kitchen!" -F |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 19 Jul 25 - 02:51 AM Yebbut some streams stink and splashing them over everyone else's shoes is not on |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Donuel Date: 18 Jul 25 - 04:57 PM That's the spirit. You tend to your stream and we'll tend to ours. Crossing the streams is not as dangerous as first feared. “Why worry? Each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on our back.” “Yep. Now, switch me on." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 18 Jul 25 - 10:40 AM Perhaps we need a thread named something like "Things I Find Humorous", it might help keep the joke stream running clear. I won't start it but I'd probably contribute to it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: MaJoC the Filk Date: 18 Jul 25 - 10:35 AM I thought there was, but there was a puff of wind, and .... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 18 Jul 25 - 10:27 AM Is there a joke in there somewhere? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: MaJoC the Filk Date: 18 Jul 25 - 10:19 AM A chain of comments a historical article in The Register on the Smoot (a unit of length .... ach, read the article):
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 18 Jul 25 - 06:33 AM The problem with CEOs is that the 90% who are crooked give the rest a bad name. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Donuel Date: 17 Jul 25 - 07:38 AM Pete Hegseth just installed a new alternative fax machine. The problem with Trump jokes is that Republicans don't think they are funny, and Democrats don't think they are jokes. What did the new weather service say when asked how to respond to Hurricane Sally? “Pay her less than Stormy Daniels!” |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 17 Jul 25 - 07:38 AM Leather Preparation by Tanya Hyde Life Before Cars by Orson Buggy Helping Hand by Abel N. Willin |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 17 Jul 25 - 07:29 AM Mapping Your Country by Sir Veigh |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 17 Jul 25 - 05:24 AM What did the DNA say to the other DNA? Do these genes make me look fat? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Raggytash Date: 16 Jul 25 - 07:20 PM Mr Red, could you please elucidate, I haven't a clue what you are on about! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Mr Red Date: 16 Jul 25 - 03:41 PM From an old-fashioned squareish Volvo from the early 90s and obviously still going strong. "I do not identify as a Polestar! & "If it leaks oil, it has got oil" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 16 Jul 25 - 02:25 PM One for musicians: More Of A Lute Than A Guitar by Amanda Lynne |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 16 Jul 25 - 12:34 PM The Nudist Camp by Seymour Butts |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 16 Jul 25 - 12:30 PM Looking Younger by Fay Slift |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 16 Jul 25 - 12:26 PM Pampering by Molly Coddle |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 16 Jul 25 - 11:38 AM Mexican Revenge by Monte Zuma |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 16 Jul 25 - 11:34 AM Animal Illnesses by Ann Thrax |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 16 Jul 25 - 09:47 AM Patient: I'm a little nervous, doctor. This is my first operation. Doctor: Mine too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 16 Jul 25 - 08:58 AM Desert Crossing by I. Rhoda Camel |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 15 Jul 25 - 02:53 PM Grave Mistakes by Paul Bearer Military Rules by Marshall Law Funny B*stards by Joe Kerr Get Out There by Sally Forth My Lost Causes by Noah Veil |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: Fred Date: 15 Jul 25 - 02:30 PM Breaking The Law by Kermit A. Krime |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 15 Jul 25 - 08:23 AM I asked my wife if she'd still love me if I was old and overweight. She replied "Yes, I Do". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2025 From: gillymor Date: 14 Jul 25 - 06:08 AM Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day, but set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
