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BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: SINSULL Date: 18 Jan 05 - 06:46 PM Micca, Stay away from tea kettles and protruding furniture. We need you healthy to take care of Miss Phiddle. I'm sorry I missed your call. We'll talk soon. Mary |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Guy Wolff Date: 18 Jan 05 - 04:11 PM A very great mandolin player told me this delight of a limerick years ago and it is one of my very faverites. Its the rythum of the thing that hit me. I like the surprise ending as well There was a preacher of Kings Who preached of heavenly things But his secret desire , Was a boy in the chior, With a bum like jelly on springs Blue skys and all the best |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Hollowfox Date: 18 Jan 05 - 03:41 PM Darn the time zone difference and all, I just signed on and saw this. well, the pre-op-@!#$-reduction candle will get lit in about five hours, the op and post op candles will be standing by for their turns. It's *very* cold here today, so tonight will be a good evening for such things. And now for a musical morgue joke: It was 3:00 AM when an orderly had to go into the morgue. He heard a faint sound coming from one of the holding drawers, so he opened it to see a cadaver laying face-down with a cotton ball in the butt crack. He removed the cotton only to hear a thin, high, reedy voice warbling "Moon River, wider than a mile..." Hastily replacing the cotton and shutting the drawer, he dashed out. Normally, morgue duty didn't bother him, but this did. After some thought he went back in, opened the drawer, and bravely ignoring the faint sound,he copied down the name of the doctor formerly in charge of the deceased. He then called the doctor at home, saying that there was an emergency requiring his attention. After a while the VID (Very Important Doctor) arrived, and went with the orderly down to the morgue. All was as it had been, the rone cadaver, the cotton, the irritating little voice...at thich point the doctor rounded on the orderly and roared, "You mean that you called me out of my warm bed to come down here at 4:00 in the morning to hear some asshole sing Moon River?!?!?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: gnu Date: 18 Jan 05 - 03:09 PM Oops ! "Lots" (and lots of drugs). |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: gnu Date: 18 Jan 05 - 03:08 PM Goodness gracious. I just get back on the Cat and everyone is getting sliced, diced, even broken... best wishes and los of drugs. Chin up, eh ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Pistachio Date: 18 Jan 05 - 03:02 PM Good wishes for a steady recovery. Hazel in Beverley. |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: rumanci Date: 18 Jan 05 - 02:50 PM Micca ---- please transport some love and hugs to Cats from me (and you can have some too *bg*) rum xx |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Micca Date: 18 Jan 05 - 02:47 PM Well, Khatt is tucked up in the Hospital and preparing for her Op tomorrow, she asked me to thank you all for your continuing good wishes and thoughts, as I do also, Micca |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: MudGuard Date: 18 Jan 05 - 01:01 PM Ok, so I won't visit you in hospital when I come to London in 17 days ... But I might visit you at home ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Catherine Jayne Date: 18 Jan 05 - 12:30 PM Andy...Im hoping to be home on Friday but it depends on how I am and how my asthma reacts to the drugs again. |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: sian, west wales Date: 18 Jan 05 - 11:58 AM OK - a couple hot off ... my cousin, actually: An gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!" ******************************************************* Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown." Micca ... don't even think about it ... ! siân |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: MudGuard Date: 18 Jan 05 - 11:45 AM Best wishes! How long will you be in the hospital? |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: wysiwyg Date: 18 Jan 05 - 11:09 AM We're praying for you and pulling for you to have a GREAT experience, Khatt. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Catherine Jayne Date: 18 Jan 05 - 10:57 AM Thank you Black Walnut for those wonderful images and memories! Well I have just had a call from the hospital I am to go in at 6pm today and I will be on Silvertown ward of Newham General....although I could be moved so Micca will keep you all posted! Thank you for all the support, wonderful jokes and images. |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: black walnut Date: 18 Jan 05 - 10:49 AM Oh, what a horror, PHiddle! I just finished sending hugs to Liz and then came across this thread of yours. My my my my my. I have great memories of you walking with me, and my girlchild. WALK again, my dear cat, very very soon. Across the ocean I send you visions of horses and castles and coffeeshops and Virgin record aisles and clothes stores and stuffy undergrounds and eating sandwiches on the sidewalk and eating Liz' trifle! Many hugs, ~b.w. |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Gillie Date: 18 Jan 05 - 10:31 AM Good luck {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kat}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Gillie |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: GUEST Date: 18 Jan 05 - 09:39 AM Legoland Windsor |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: jacqui.c Date: 17 Jan 05 - 09:25 PM Best of luck my love - we'll be thinking of you. |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Shanghaiceltic Date: 17 Jan 05 - 07:08 PM All the best Cats, maybe invite a few local catters in for a session using the bed pans (empty of course) as bodhrans and the pee bottles filled to different levels as a glockenpeel. |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Bassic Date: 17 Jan 05 - 05:41 PM Best wishes XX |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: My guru always said Date: 17 Jan 05 - 05:37 PM Positive thoughts Khatt Dear, will be thinking of you, Hil |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Zany Mouse Date: 17 Jan 05 - 03:20 PM All the very best Cats. Luv Rhiannon |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Catherine Jayne Date: 17 Jan 05 - 12:14 PM ooo I like presnts!! Hopefully Morti will be bringing your xmas presents back with her!...better late than never!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Essex Girl Date: 17 Jan 05 - 08:39 AM Hope all goes well Cat, hope you're not laid up for too long Linda |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: AllisonA(Animaterra) Date: 17 Jan 05 - 07:33 AM Lots of light and love flowing your way, dear Khatt! When I can think of some jokes, I'll send them along! Love, Allison |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: GUEST,KingBrilliant Date: 17 Jan 05 - 07:30 AM Will be thinking of you catsP. Best wishes for a quick and comfortable recovery. Kris |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: pixieofdoom Date: 17 Jan 05 - 06:18 AM Best of luck Khatt. We'll be thinking of you and will come and visit if possible. Will bring chocolate and possibly even your Christmas present! lots of love Fiona xx |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: GUEST,Partridge Date: 17 Jan 05 - 05:45 AM Best of Luck Cat, will be thinking of you. Pat x |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: freda underhill Date: 16 Jan 05 - 08:54 PM Good luck Cat. Cant be good getting snap crackle n popped. I hope it goes well for you freda |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Leadfingers Date: 16 Jan 05 - 08:01 PM I did promise a joke Cats - try this one !! All the young recruits were standing in line , naked for the M O to check them out !! Lad reaches front of line and Doc says " Good Lord ! I think you must be the best endowed young soldier i have ever seen !!" Recruit stammers " Thank you Sir " Doc then says "Just as a matter of interest , how big is it when it's erect?" Recruit stammers a bit more and says " Sorry sir , I dont know!" Doc says "You Dont Know ?? You mean you've never had an erection at your age?" Recruit replies " Well there's only enough blood for one of us , and when HE comes up , I Black Out!" Be Good and do what the nurses say!! Sometimes they DO know what they are talking about ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: SINSULL Date: 16 Jan 05 - 06:50 PM I can't tell a joke, Miss Phiddle. Sorry. But I will think of you and light a candle for a quick recovery. Tell Micca to stop calling when I am in the shower. I get to the phone, cold, wet and soapy, and there's nothing but a message! |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Liz the Squeak Date: 16 Jan 05 - 04:27 PM She ain't kidding - I lost 6lbs there last time I stayed, and that was only for 24hours! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Catherine Jayne Date: 16 Jan 05 - 04:19 PM mmmm spicey! Micca, Liz the Squeak, Manitas, Limpit, Col K and I have just got back from an excellent Indian meal.....Im eating as much as I can before Tuesday because the hospital food is crap....anyone that comes to see me...please bring food!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Áine Date: 16 Jan 05 - 02:00 PM Here's hoping that everything goes well next week (for both of you!). Take care of each other - healing thoughts will be eminating (sp?) from Texas and coming your way (watch out, they tend to be very spicy!) ;-) Love to you both, Áine |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Mrs.Duck Date: 16 Jan 05 - 01:34 PM I'm useless at jokes so I'll just wish you well soon! love from us all Jane and Geoff xx |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Cobble Date: 16 Jan 05 - 01:07 PM Good luck from us two, love and light on it's way. Cobble and Mrs C. |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Amos Date: 16 Jan 05 - 12:44 PM Donuel: Talk about a weighty matter!!What are you trying to say?? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Catherine Jayne Date: 16 Jan 05 - 12:31 PM These jokes are excellent...they have really cheered me up. I have bought my new pj's and night shirt for the hospital...just need to get a pair of slippers and I will be ready for Tuesday...well as ready as I will ever be! Karen....Micca and I will be at the Getaway this year (I have already booked time off work!). We are postponing our honeymoon until October so we can have our honeymoon in the USA at the Getaway...what better way to celebrate than with friends and music and song!?! |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Kaleea Date: 16 Jan 05 - 01:17 AM cat- Best of luck to you! & now for a true--but not scary--hospital anecdote. I recently visited a friend who was in the hospital. I took with me the toy versions of Dr. "Bones" McCoy's Star Trek medical tricorder & examining equipment. Then I went there, sat & waited. Sure enough, the Dr. & a couple residents came around to examine her. Just as they were finishing, I pulled out my medical "equipment" and began to examine her. They were all about to fall on the floor laughing as I informed them that I concurred with their diagnosis. Then the lady in the next bed called out "Well, do me too!" The Dr. had a fine time borrowing my medical tools to examine her, then proceeded to show it off to the staff. Let me know if your Dr. needs any help with the diagnosis! Healing energies from all 'catters will be enveloping you next week! Kaleea |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Donuel Date: 15 Jan 05 - 09:06 PM http://img9.exs.cx/img9/6039/fatcat6uy.jpg |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Joybell Date: 15 Jan 05 - 06:55 PM Best wishes, Khatt, Thinking of you. Love and Cheers, Joy |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: GUEST,Cretinous Yahoo Date: 15 Jan 05 - 06:35 PM An elderly couple sat through two showings of a porn movie. When the lights came on, the usher said to the woman, "You must have liked that film" she said "It was disgusting." he said "Then why did you sit through two showings"? she said "We had to wait for the lights to come on, we couldn't find my knickers, and his teeth were in them." |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: lady penelope Date: 15 Jan 05 - 05:33 PM So we're back to bath chairs on hyperdrive huh? Lots of hugs {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Cat}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} And give us a yell if you need anything...... A man is lying on his death bed, just whiling away the moments till he dies. Suddenly he can smell fresh cookie dough baking. It smells just like his favourites - double choc chip. "How thoughtful" thinks the man, "My wife is trying to ease my way by baking me my favourite cookies, what a wonderful woman". And with that, he decides that he'll make one last effort to go and eat some cookies and tell his wife how much he loves her and to thank her for all the wonderful things she's done in their lives together. He manages to totter a few steps to the bedroom door, but it's too much and sinks to the floor. "No matter" he thinks, "I will get there however I can, it will be worth it". So he grits his teeth and starts to crawl.......... Than man is now dragging himself across the floor, as his legs have completely given out, but the smell of those wonderous cookies drives him on. They have become his last challenge and he now refuses to give up. He makes it into the kitchen and spots the cookies sitting on a cooling rack, just at the edge of the table. With one last super human effort he reaches up for his prize............ "Don't touch them!" says his wife "They're for the funeral!" TTFN Lady P. |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Raedwulf Date: 15 Jan 05 - 04:20 PM Well, since you asked... Beer Vs. female part debate. A beer is always wet. A female part needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer. A beer tastes horrible served hot. A female part tastes better served hot. Advantage: Female part. Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold female part makes you Hillary Clinton. Advantage: Beer. Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Female part does not. Advantage: Draw. If you get a hair in your teeth consuming female part, you are not disgusted. Advantage: Female part 24 beers come in a box. A female part is a box you can come in. Advantage: Female part. Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. Advantage: Female part. If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. Advantage: Beer. If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad. If you come home smelling like female part, she will definitely get mad. Advantage: Beer. 6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need. Advantage: Female part Buy too much beer and you will get fat. Buy too much female part and you will get poor. Advantage: Draw It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game. You are a legend if you have a female part in the stands at a football game. Advantage: Female part If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer. If a cop smells female part on your breath, you are going to get a high five. Advantage: Female part With beer, bigger is better. Advantage: beer. Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable. Advantage: beer. Female part can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain God. Advantage: Female part If you think all day about the next female part you will have, you are normal. If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic. Advantage: Female part Peeling labels off of beers is fun. Peeling panties off of female part is more fun. Advantage: Female part. If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a female part at work, you get hit with sexual harassment. Advantage: Draw If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a female part, it may hunt you down like the dog you are. Advantage: Beer. If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back. Advantage: beer. The best female part you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. Advantage: Female part. The worst female part you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. Advantage: Beer. Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill. Bad female part: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright. Advantage: Draw Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, Killian's Red Good female part: Almost all but the above. Advantage: Female part. The government taxes beer. Advantage: Female part. It's a close call, but the numbers never lie. Advantage: Female part. |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Catherine Jayne Date: 15 Jan 05 - 04:05 PM Thank you for your good thoughts. Raedwulf....Im going into Newham General in Plasitow, I will know the ward on Tuesday and will post details then, if you are in the area pop in and say hi! SRS....the bear will be coming with me Keep the jokes coming!! Love Khatt |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: fat B****rd Date: 15 Jan 05 - 03:32 PM Good luck and I trust you'll be dancing soon. |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Raedwulf Date: 15 Jan 05 - 02:50 PM Lead - when it comes to getting lower, you start with an inborn advantage! (And I'm not referring to the fact that you're a shortarse! :p ;-) ) Arthur Davidson of the Harley Davidson motorcycle corp. died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven." Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with god." St. Peter took him to the throne room and introduced him to god. Arthur then asked god, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of women?" God said, "Ah, yes." "Well", said Arthur, "professional designer to professional designer, you have some major design flaws in your invention. First – there's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion. Second - it chatters constantly at high speeds. Third - most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much. Fourth - the intake is placed way too close to the exhaust. Lastly - the maintenance costs are outrageous." God went to his celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and god read it. "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed", God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers more men are riding my invention than yours!" Amos - You've obviously never met Cat, or you wouldn't use the word "loverly" (sic) to describe any part of her. She better'n dat! :) Hugs 'n' best, dear. Which hurspittle? I may come down & bore the pants off you {Evil Grin}! |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Stilly River Sage Date: 15 Jan 05 - 02:17 PM Hey, Cat, that little black bear that hopped into your Santa box would love to go to the hospital with you! Take care, be patient, and get well soon! Maggie (SRS) |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: MudGuard Date: 15 Jan 05 - 02:08 PM Good Luck! Or, as we would say it in German: Hals- und Beinbruch! *) *) Hals- und Beinbruch: Hals = neck und = and Bein = leg bruch = break (fracture) **) **) the word "bruch" is in that case derived from the original Jewish word "baruch" which means "blessing" |
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Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital From: Zany Mouse Date: 15 Jan 05 - 01:46 PM Oooohhh - that sounds PAINFUL! Get well soon. Sending pos vibes. Blesséd be Rhiannon |
