BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Gurney
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 08:07 PM

Lucky man, Lonesome. I can't even afford to buy wine by the case, let alone whisky.
That's good advice, 'let alone whisky,' by the way.

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 08:04 PM

I always wondered how any of those scientists was able to finish the "Manhatten Project".

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Joe_F
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 07:46 PM

I'll eat when I'm hungry,
I'll drink when I'm dry.
If whiskey don't kill me,
I'll live till I die.

A logician, somewhere, once pointed out that the final statement is equivalent to "If I don't live till I die, whiskey will kill me".

(Posted under the influence of a manhattan.)

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 01:34 PM

"I'd rather have a bottle in front o' me than a frontal lobotomy."

--I don't know if he originated it, but I first heard it from Tom Waits when he was a guest on "Fernwood 2 Night" in 1977.

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 01:25 PM

I have seen more of Heaven in the bottom of a wine glass than I have in any Church
- Omar Khayam

(well, in this case its wine, not whiskey...you get the picture)

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 10:01 AM

Lemme try this:

"A skunk sat on a stump.
The stump thunk the skunk stunk,
And the skunk thunk the stump stunk."

ok, bartender...I'm fine... gimme another whisky.

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: bobad
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 09:24 AM

Well I got a bad liver and broken heart, yeah,
I drunk me a river since you tore me apart
And I don't have a drinking problem, 'cept when I can't get a drink

Tom Waits

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 08:30 AM

I have a whisky bemired epiglottis. Will that do?

DeG

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Acorn4
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 08:01 AM

From Bernard Wrigley:-

I joined alcoholics anonymous.

I still get pissed but do it under another name!

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: John O'L
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 05:13 AM

The iron curtain may have fallen but the iron drapes still frame the stage where puppeteers agree (in whispers off) that Punch should clobber Judy and then Judy clobber Punch.

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 12:32 AM

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the Spring of Hope, it was the Winter of Despair. It was the uncorking of a fifth of Woodford Reserve on Friday Night. It was stubbing your toe on an empty Kentucky Gentleman bottle on Saturday morning.

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 03:29 PM

During one of our trips through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We had to live on food and water for several days.

--W. C. Fields (as Cuthbert J. Twillie in "My Little Chickadee", 1940)

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Joe_F
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 08:30 PM

The graduations on a whiskey bottle:

- Jocose
- Morose
- Bellicose
- Comatose

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 08:22 PM

An epigram is a bon mot sent by Western Union; an epigraph is a saying sent by any other telegraph company. Hic.

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 03:52 PM

So, Mae West should have said "Is that a bottle in your pocket and you are glad to see me?"

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: michaelr
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 03:21 PM

"Always keep a bottle of whisky in your pocket in case of snakebite. Always keep a snake in the other pocket." - W.C. Fields

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 03:16 PM

'whisky' - 17,700,000 hits
'whiskey' -18,500,000 hits

The world is not always as we'd wish.

(and I spell 'spelt' as 'spelled' and 'bejabers' as 'bejabbers'....fascinating!)

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 02:22 PM

Spelt like that, the closest I get to an epigram is "bejabers".

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 09:12 AM

That epigram inspires ME to more whiskey....

Subject: RE: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 08:29 AM

the ultimate victory of style over substance

I thought that was Tony Blair!

Subject: BS: Whiskey-inspired epigrams
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 12:12 AM

The movie "Kill Bill" marks the ultimate victory of style over substance.