BS: Unanswered Questions?

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 17 Mar 11 - 10:40 AM

The full sign said

'Free Range Eggs Turn Here'

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 17 Mar 11 - 10:16 AM

'Along many of our roads you see hand painted signs telling New Potatoes to drive in. I wonder if they do? '

Similarly, signs for 'Free Range Eggs'

Surely it's the birds which are 'free range'!

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Penny S.
Date: 11 Mar 11 - 07:02 AM

I think the Harwich for the continent graffito was Frinton for the incontinent, both being on the same bit of coast, but Frinton being noted for its fresh air and no fun, and elderly occupants.

Penny

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: jonm
Date: 11 Mar 11 - 06:11 AM

This toilet is out of order. Please use floor below.

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mo the caller
Date: 11 Mar 11 - 05:36 AM

I was sorry when they stopped telling us at the end of GQT that the producer was JoKing.

Along many of our roads you see hand painted signs telling New Potatoes to drive in. I wonder if they do?

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Green Man
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 10:22 AM

So, why do Gardeners question time?

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 06:15 AM

When travelling across the Forth Road Bridge, I always want to know, why are the winds cross? Is it something I've said?

But the real question which nobody dares to ask is

Why is Mr Happy?

(Sorry John)

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: banjoman
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 05:56 AM

I have always had problems following instructions such as the road sign near us which says "Bend for 1/2 mile" or "Danger Men at Work".
I always tell my passengers to huddle down when passing a local airfield where the sign says "Danger Low Flying Aircraft"
I also questioned the temperament of our local traffic when the council put up notices saying "Traffic Calming Measures in Force"
Now Now little car just calm down

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Songster Bob
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 12:41 PM

"'Duelling Banjos' = One banjo + one guitar?? "

As Framus says, the tune was originally for two banjos -- one five-string and one tenor -- and was entitled* "Mocking Banjo." Don Reno and Arthur Smith played, as I recall.

Bob

* fits right in with the thread -- what was it entitled to?

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: framus
Date: 08 Mar 11 - 09:13 PM

Mr Happy, the tune Duelling Banjoes was written for 2 banjoes, - thank the film makers for your confusion.
In Belfast years ago I spotted a comely wench, dressed appropriately for the Summer, leaning on a very large hoarding while waiting for boyfriend, bus (?). The hoarding read, "Valuable frontage to let".

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Jim Dixon, visiting Tucson
Date: 08 Mar 11 - 08:38 PM

Driving on a country road on Veteran's Day, I saw a hand-lettered sign beside the road: "Veterans Thank You."

Well, it's nice of the veterans to thank me, although I haven't done all that much for them, except pay my taxes.

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 11 - 06:31 PM

There's a small road called Seldom Seen Road near Blind River. I've seen it. Well, only just the entrance to it, mind you...I haven't seen it in its entirety. Same goes for Madonna, although I've seen a good deal more of her, area-wise, than I have of Seldom Seen Road.

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 08 Mar 11 - 12:44 PM

In Norfolk I saw two signs which made me laugh. One on a market stall in Aylsham said 'Genuine PVC jackets' (Nice to know the plastic is real) and on coming home, 'Turn right twice'. Normal for Norfolk! There's a small road near me called Nowhere Lane. (You have been warned...)

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: katlaughing
Date: 08 Mar 11 - 11:41 AM

I know I've posted it a few years ago, but the one I found funny in New England was NO OUTLET...so I should not expect to use my appliances?LOL Out here we just say DEAD END. (Wonder what a LIVE END would be?)

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 08 Mar 11 - 11:31 AM

Hump in the road.......

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Michael
Date: 08 Mar 11 - 08:56 AM

And one I think I've posted on a previous thread;
"Bridge Strengthening Works", which is reassuring.

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Michael
Date: 08 Mar 11 - 08:53 AM

Heavy plant crossing = Beware Triffids.

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: kendall
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 07:53 PM

There is a sign at an intersection in Wiscasset Maine that says SIGNS ARE NOT ALLOWED AT THIS INTERSECTION.

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 07:24 PM

When I was a kid and saw the 'Road Plant Ahead' sign, I used to ask, "Do we feed it or water it?"

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Don Firth
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 05:20 PM

The sign originally read:

DANGER ZONE
IMPOUND
PARKED CARS
By the time the clowns got through scratching out letters, it read:

ANGER ZONE
I POUND
PARKED CARS
Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 03:31 PM

I like the road sign that says 'Heavy plant crossing'.

There used to be a sign outside Kew station saying:

'Kew Gardens. Bear right outside station.'

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 10:50 AM

Read about a guy who parked beneath a sign that read: FINE FOR PARKING. He ended up paying the ticket. The judge seemed to find it funny--but not THAT funny.

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Dáithí
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 10:31 AM

My favourite driving one is that sign that says "Road works ahead"...I hope it does!
D

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 10:09 AM

A musical Q - should it be above the line, I wonder?

'Duelling Banjos' = One banjo + one guitar??

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: olddude
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 09:45 AM

Who was the first person that said "hmmm I will boil a bunch of cow's hoofs and make a tasty lime green snack called Jell-O"

I wanna dig that guy up and grind up his hoofs

Yuck

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 09:42 AM

Often on my office door: 'Wet floor when cleaning'. A statement of fact or an instruction?

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 09:27 AM

Slow Children Crossing



How rude!

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 09:12 AM

.....also, 'Slow Men in Road'

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 07:57 AM

Danger men at work, what will they do shoot me?

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 06:51 AM

'Who put the fun in dysfunctional? '

or even in 'Funeral'?

[In which, if you re-arrange the letters - you get 'Real Fun!']

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 06:51 AM

There was an old road safety advert where the old grandfather is taking his young grandson across a pelican crossing. He goes to run across, grandfather holds him back and then he says 'Look the green man's flashing, now you can go' I would have questioned that.

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 05:56 AM

........& in the good ol' USA, 'DONT WALK' - Hop, skip, jump, fly ?

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 05:18 AM

And the old chestnut, roadsign for drivers approaching Channel ferry:- "Harwich for the continent", and the graffiti, "Dover for the incontinent!"

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 05:16 AM

On fire doors in UK stores, "This door is alarmed!"

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Michael
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 04:58 AM

Not a question it's self but lots of pubs, during the World Cup, had signs saying 'England live here'. My question: How could 11 men live in so many pubs all at once ?

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Tangledwood
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 04:27 AM

A road sign at the end of my street says "koalas cross here".

So I want to know - are they or do they?

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Mar 11 - 01:00 PM

LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Mar 11 - 12:58 PM

Who put the fun in dysfunctional?

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 06 Mar 11 - 12:24 PM

It only works on the radio; if you check the R4 website it gives the game away - there is an apostrophe.

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Will Fly
Date: 06 Mar 11 - 12:16 PM

Shouldn't it be "Gardeners Question Thyme" - ?

Always a suspicious herb, IMO.

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Mar 11 - 12:12 PM

I have LOTS of answers.


They rarely fit, though.

Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 06 Mar 11 - 12:02 PM

I have NO idea what that question means, Mr. Happy.

Subject: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 06 Mar 11 - 09:04 AM

When I'm on the PC, I frequently have BBC R4 on in the background.

A programme ad prompted me to ponder what is the answer to the hypothesis of 'Gardeners Question Time' - why do they?

Does anyone know or have examples of similar conundra?