Origins: The Boarding School (Miss Tickle Toby)

Subject: RE: Origins: The Boarding School
From: Joe Offer
Date: 15 Feb 19 - 10:00 PM

Hi, Lewis - I broke your songs off into separate messages, because they're easier to deal with. There is no listing for this song in the Traditional Ballad Index, but the song has two entries under Roud Number V21085 - the two versions that you posted.

The crosslinked threads had only one version posted:

Thread #47177   Message #702484
Posted By: GUEST,Dave Hunt
01-May-02 - 09:09 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Req/Add: Miss Tickle Tovey
Subject: Lyr Add: MISS TICKLE TOVEY (sung by Albert Shaw)

From the singing of Albert Shaw...a fine old singer from the Black Country...who died many, many years ago. For a long time he was a regular at the Painters Arms Club, Coseley, (between Sedgley and Tipton) a singaround club started by Taffy Thomas. At one time the regulars included Taffy, Sheila Thomas, Bill Caddick, John and Sue Kirkpatrick, Mick Bramwich, John Yair, Mike Frost, Jeannie Harris, Pete and Chris Coe, etc. etc.! A real who’s who of singers. I helped Taffy run the evenings for many years, and when Magic Lantern decamped to Suffolk, took over the running myself. After a while Bill our wonderful landlord retired and was replaced by a man who thought that the room would be better used for darts...so we moved, but ‘twas never the same again and only lasted about six months. End of history note. Anyway this is the version that Albert sang...not very PC these days, but there we are!

MISS TICKLE TOVEY

1. Miss Tickle Tovey kept a school and she was deeply read, sir.
Taught all the girls the Golden Rule and everything that’s good, sir.
She only took young maidens in, the gentry of the Nation.
She gave them what you here might call a slap-up education.

CHO: Won’t you come, boys, come? Won’t you come, boys, come?
To Miss Tickle Tovey’s, won’t you come, boys, come?

2. Now a wealthy Squire who lived close by, he had such lots of riches,
He always liked to be fumbling round the young girl’s silk frilled britches.
But whenever they went out to town, these pretty little lasses,
Miss Tickle Tovey, mademoiselle, was hanging round their ... ear’oles. CHO.

3. So he shaved his whiskers neat and trim, put everything in order,
And off to Mistress Tovey’s went to be taken as a boarder.
The old girl soon admitted him, her cock eye brightly glistening,
And the Squire he looked as modest as an old whore at a christening. CHO.

4. She praised his great accomplishments, his dancing and his singing.
One night she put him to bed to sleep between two plump young women,
And one of these, a strapping wench whose name it was Miss Molly,
Got fumbling under the bedclothes, put her hand against his...Rule, Britannia! CHO.

5. “What’s this?” says she. “Me rule,” says he, for at answers he was a quick one.
“Then it must be The Rule of Three. This sum’s a mighty stiff one.”
Then groping down, he felt about till he came to her incision.
Then he showed her how to multiply, add up and long division. CHO.

6. Now nearly nine long months passed by when a servant girl, Nell Kelly,
Noticed some of the girls had got a swelling in their...faces.
She called unto the doctor just to draw the maidens’ water.
To some he drew a fine young son and to some a fair young daughter. CHO.

7. When Miss Tickle Tovey heard of this, she answered, “What a glutton!
Sooner than have me school disgraced, I’d have sacrificed me mutton.”
So now when she wants to tell the right ‘uns from the wrong ‘uns,
She turns ‘em upside down to see it they’ve got short or long ‘uns. CHO.

END

Enjoy! Sunshine and smiles Dave

---

Recording by Gary & Vera Aspey https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brASadhgc6c

Subject: ADD Version: The Boarding School
From: GUEST,Lewis Jones
Date: 15 Feb 19 - 09:53 PM

VWML microfilm 88, item no. 90

THE BOARDING SCHOOL!

Miss Tickle Toby kept a school, and in learning was well read, sir,
And being an old maid of course she lived at Maidenhead, sir,
She only took young ladies in, and made a deal of pelf, sir,
She taught them vulgar fractions, and boarded them herself, sir.

The school was situated in a very pleasant station,
T’was an opening for any young girl, and an airy situation,
A mossy lawn to grace the front, like country ones displayed is,
Two milk white stones before the door, and a yard for all the ladies.

Mr Tickle Toby you must know, was precious strict---the fact is,
Anything she took in hand she always put in practice,
Sometimes she used them rather rough until her age got cooler,
And if the cane was not enough she’d make them take the ruler.

Sometimes an interest in them take, and never say a cross word,
But said they’d feel the benefit would they push themselves more forward.
In writing they did most excel, there was beauty in each letter,
Altho’ they did their up strokes well they did a down stroke better.

A dashing Squire that a lived close by and had acquired some riches,
Had often long’d to poke it up the school girls’ white frill’d breeches.
He often tried but all in vain while by his house would pass these lasses,
For the Tickle Toby lady was always stuck at their arses.

At last he dress’d himself up as a damsel young and blooming,
And to the old maid’s school he went the smock faced miss assuming.
The old frump soon admitted him, with her cock are brightly glistening,
For he really looked as modest as an old whore at a christening.

A new face pleased the boarders well, they made themselves so handy,
They kissed and hugged him so about that he got precious randy.
Bed time came on, they all retired at Mr Morpheus’s urgings,
Quite pleased, the squire he tumbled in between two plump and blooming virgins.

They had not been in bed long when one of them, Miss Molly,
Must needs get groping when her hand ran bang against his dolly.
What’s this cried she, my rule says he, for answers he'd a quick one,
Says she then ’tis the rule of three, it's such a precious thick one.

I never handled one so large says she, how do you use it?
Says he if you’ll divide your legs I'll soon show it if you choose it.
Then cramming his great ruler in her beauteous incision,
He taught her how to multiply and make a long division.

She learnt her lesson soon by heart, she was not long a cypher,
And night after night among them all he figured in their kyfer.
Quite shocked at last Miss T. observed the servant maid Moll Kelly
And all the boarders in the house had a swelling in the belly.

The old maid stormed, the parents came, but the squire off popped he,
Some said ’twas something in the air, but the ladies said ’twas dropsy.
When the Doctor came to tap them all and draw off their water,
He found each had a thumping son or else a darling daughter.

To ravish thirty virgins, the old maid cried, what a glutton.
Before my school should have been so disgraced I’d have sacrificed my mutton.
She swore all that in future came, to know the right from wrong ones,
She’d turn up every smock and feel if they were flat or long ones.

Subject: ADD Version: The Boarding School
From: GUEST,Lewis Jones
Date: 15 Feb 19 - 09:52 PM

VWML microfilm 81, item no. 705


BOARDING SCHOOL

Miss Tickle Toby kept a school, for she was deeply read, sirs,
And being an old maid, of course she lived at Maidenhead, sirs,
And only took young lodgers in, and made a deal of pelf, sirs,
She taught them vulgar fractions, and she boarded them herself sirs.
With her bow wow.

The house was situated in a very pleasant station,
’Twas an opening for any girl in a hairy situation,
A mossy lane to grace the front, like country ones displayed is,
Two milk-white stones before the door, and a yard for all the ladies.
With her bow wow.

Mr Tickle Toby you must know was such a hand, the fact is,
For any thing she took in hand, she’d put it into practice,
Sometimes she’d use her lodgers rough, before her rage got cooler,
And if the cane was not long enough, she’d make them take the ruler.
With her bow wow.

Sometimes she take on interest in them, and never jaw a word,
But say they’d feel the benefit, if they'd push themselves forward,
In writing they did much excel, there was beauty in each letter,
Altho’ they could do an upstroke well, they could do a downstroke better.
With her bow wow.

A dashing Squire there lived close by, who had acquired some riches
He often longed to put it up the school girls white frilled breeches,
He strove in vain to speak as by his house did pass these lassies,
But the Tickle Toby lady always dangled at their -----.
With her bow wow.

At last he dressed himself up quite neat, as a maiden young and blooming,
And off to the old maid’s school repaired, this smock faced miss assuming,
The old frump soon admitted him, with her cock eye brightly glist’nin
For she really looked as modest as an old whore at a christening.
With his bow wow.

A new face pleased the ladies, and they made themselves quite handy
They pulled and hugged him so about, till he got precious randy,
At last bedtime came on, they all retired at murphy’s urgings,
And the squire he tumbled in between two plump and blooming virgins.
With his bow wow.

They had not long been in the bed before one of them Miss Molly,
Must needs be groping, when her hand run bang against his tolly,
What’s this cries she, my rule says he, of answers he'd a quickness,
She said then ’tis the rule of three, ’tis such a precious thickness.
With his bow wow.

I never handled one so stout, says she how do you use it,
Says he, if you’ll divide your legs, I’ll soon prove it, if you choose it.
Then cramming his great ruler in this beauty’s incision,
He taught her how to multiply, and make a long division.
With his bow wow.

She learnt her lesson so by heart, she was not long at cyphers,
Many days and among them all he lingered in their rifers;
When shocked one day Miss T. observed the servant girl Molly Kelly
And all the ladies in the school had a swelling in the belly.
With his bow wow.

The old maid stormed, their parents come, but off the young squire pops he,
Some said it was somewhat in the air, but the girls swore it was the dropsy;
When the doctor came to tap ’em, and to draw off their water,
He brought them each a thumping son, or else a thumping daughter.
Singing bow wow.

To steal just thirty maidenheads, cries the old maid what a glutton,
Before the school should have been disgraced, I would have sacrificed my mutton;
For she swore in future all who come, to know the right ones from the wrong ones,
She’d turn up every smock and feel whether their ----- were flat or long ones.
With his bow wow.

Subject: Origins: The Boarding School
From: GUEST,Lewis Jones
Date: 15 Feb 19 - 04:07 PM

The Boarding School

This thread links to the following threads:
“Lyrics for Miss Tickle Toby”
“Lyrics for Miss Tickle Tovey”
“Lyrics for Mrs Tickletarvey”

There are two items in the Madden Collection, entitled "(The) Boarding School":

VWML microfilm 81, item no. 705

and

VWML microfilm 88, item no. 90

Images are available at the Vaughan Williams Memorial Library, Cecil Sharp House, London. There are no details of the printers and/or publishers and no dates of publication.

However, Microfilm 81 is a volume of London printers from 1800 to c.1855. (Madden died in 1873 so presumably it must be before then.). The item was probably not produced by H. P. Such since his publications usually carry an imprint; but it was someone who sold street literature of a similar type. Other broadsides in the same volume of Madden came from the likes of Paul and Disley, who were mainstream London broadside printers of the middle decades of the 19th century.

Milcrofilm 88 is a volume of country (i.e. not London) printers of similar date. Most of the other broadsides in that volume are by Birmingham printers, and Roy Palmer ascribes this item to William Pratt (1840s-61) though he does not say why:

http://www.mustrad.org.uk/articles/birming2.htm

Transcriptions are given below. Publication may be linked to a piece from the music hall or similar popular entertainment. Both items are pretty smutty, but probably not unduly so by the standards of the Victorian music hall, especially in the middle decades of the C19 when it was a more distinctly working-class entertainment. The content is in a similar realm to saucy British seaside postcards and jokes about monks and nuns; but it is quite explicit for a broadside, and more explicit, for example, than most of the C17 street literature about cuckolds.

Note that, according to this street literature, the school ma’ams correct name is “Tickle Toby,” not “Tickle Tovey” or “Tickletarvey,” and it is a reference to the cane and ruler which, the texts tell us, the school ma’am employed as disciplinary implements. See

http://word-detective.com/2010/09/toby

where there is the following explanation:

As slang, “toby” has had several uses in English. The oldest, dating back to the 17th century, was as a popular term for the buttocks, most often found in the phrase “to tickle one’s toby,” meaning to spank or beat that part of the anatomy (“Our gracious Queen Elizabeth tickled their Tobies for them,” 1681). [Acknowledgement: I am indebted to my good friend Chris Bearman, now sadly deceased, for this insight. Lewis Jones.]


Transcriptions below.