Lyr Add: The Death of Romeo and Juliet

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Death of Romeo and Juliet
From: ShlomoC
Date: 14 Feb 21 - 07:19 AM

Hi Joe,
To your question - the tune I used was the "Chandler's shop" aka "The chandler's wife". A well known tune, originally (I think...) from "The Lincolnshire Poacher".

Subject: ADD: Romeo and Juliet (Altered)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Feb 21 - 06:33 PM

So, # posted a link to a piece posted in the Sacramento Daily Union from 1860. It's a piece that was widely published at the time. I found a more legible copy at Google Books. Here's my transcription.

ROMEO AND JULIET (Altered).

It was in ancient Italy a deadly hatred grew
Between old Caleb Capulet and Moses Montague;
Now Moses had an only son, a little dapper beau.
The pet of all the pretty girls, by name young Borneo.
And Caleb owned a female girl, just home from boarding school.
Miss Juliet was her Christian name — for short they called her Jule.
To bring the lady out he gave a ball at his plantation.
And thither went young Romeo, without an invitation.
One Tybalt, kinsman to the host, began to growl and pout.
And watched an opportunity to put the fellow out;
But Caleb saw the game and said, "Now, cousin, don't be cross;
Behave yourself or leave the room; are you or I the boss?"
When Juliet saw Romeo his beauty did enchant her;
And Romeo he fell in love with Juliet instanter.
Now, lest their dads should spoil the fun, but little time they tarried.
Away to 'Squire Lawrence sped, and secretly were married.
Oh, cruel fate! that day the groom met Tybalt in the square.
And Tybalt being very drunk, at Romeo did swear.
Then Romeo his weapon drew (a knife of seven blades,
And made a gap in Tibby'a ribs, that sent him to the shades.
The watchman came; he took to flight, down alley, street and square ;
The Charlies ran, o'ertook their man, and took him 'fore the Mayor.
Then spoke the worthy magistrate: (and savagely did frown),
"Young man, you'll have to lose your head, or else vamose the town";
He chose the last, and left his bride in solitude to pine;
"Ah me!" said he, "our honeymoon is nothing but moonshine;"
And then, to make the matter worse, her father did embarrass
By saying she must give her hand to noble County Paris.
"This suitor is a goodly youth; to-day he comes to woo;
If you refuse the gentleman I'll soundly wollop you."
She went to 'Squire Lawrence's cell to know what must be done;
The 'Squire bade her go to bed and take some laudanum.
"'Twill make you sleep and seem as dead ; thus canst thou dodge this blow;
A humbugged man your pa will be — a blest one Romeo."
She drank, she slept, grew wan and cold; they buried her next day.
That she'd piped out her lord got word, far off in Mantua ;
Quoth he, "Of life I've had enough; I'll hire Bluffkin's mule.
Lay in a pint of baldface rum and go to-night to Jule!"
Then rode he to the sepulchre, *mong dead folks, bats and creepers.
And swallowed down the burning dose — when Juliet ope'd her peepers.
"Are you alive, or is't your ghost ? Speak quick, before I go."
"Alive!" she cried, "and kicking, too; art thou my Romeo?"
"It is your Romeo, my faded little blossom;
Oh, Juliet; is it possible that you were acting possum?"
"I was, indeed; now let's go home; pa's spite will have abated;
What ails you, love, you stagger so ; are you intoxicated?"
"No, no, my duck; I took some stuff that caused a little fit;"
He struggled hard to tell her all, but couldn't, so he quit.
In shorter time than't takes a lamb to wag his tail or jump.
Poor Romeo was stiff and pale as any whitewashed pump.
Then Juliet seized that awful knife, and in her bosom stuck it,
Let out a most terrific yell, fell down, and kicked the bucket!

— Anon.


pp 109-110 One Hundred Choice Selections, Number 18, published in 1911 by the Penn Publishing Company, Philadelphia.

Transcribed with help from an OCR from Monologues, Epigrams, Epitaphs, and Parodies, by J.F. Hartman, published in 1910 by George Sully & Co., New York.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Death of Romeo and Juliet
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Feb 21 - 06:06 PM

Were you using a known melody, Shlomo, or your own?
No doubt, Mrrzy will chip in here.....
Joe-

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The Death of Romeo and Juliet
From: GUEST,#
Date: 11 Feb 21 - 09:08 AM

There seem to be more or other stanzas at the following link, but bringing them up will take someone with better skills than me.

https://cdnc.ucr.edu/?a=d&d=SDU18600816.2.17&e=-------en--20--1--txt-txIN--------1

That is from a search of

Sacramento Daily Union, Volume 19, Number 2929, 16 August 1860

that you posted ShlomoC.

Subject: Lyr Add: The Death of Romeo and Juliet
From: ShlomoC
Date: 11 Feb 21 - 03:45 AM

Elsewhere in a thread in Mudcat ( "Give us your bad poems" https://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=160974#3821539) there's a reference to a poem "the Death of Romeo and Juliet" and there are four verses quoted.

Romeo rode to the sepulchre, 'mong dead folks, bats, and creepers;
And swallowed down the burning dose - when Juliet oped her peepers.
"Are you alive? Or is't your ghost? Speak quick, before I go."
"Alive!" she cried, "and kicking too; art thou my Romeo?"

"It is your Romeo, my faded little blossum;
O Juliet! is it possible that you were acting possum?"
"I was indeed; now let's go home; pa's spite will have abated;
What ails you, love, you stagger so; are you intoxicated?"

"No, no, my duck; I took some stuff that caused a little fit;"
He struggled hard to tell her all, but couldn't, so he quit.
In shorter time than't takes a lamb to wag his tail, or jump,
Poor Romeo was stiff and pale as any whitewashed pump.

Then Juliet seized that awful knife, and in her bosom stuck it,
Let out a most terrific yell, fell down, and kicked the bucket.
And that’s as far as Shakespeare got, there wasn’t much more to it,
when Capulets and Monty’s fight – some day they’re going to rue it!


No tune was mentioned and I couldn't find the source or additional verses.... so I added my own:


My additional verses:

Well I’ll tell you all a little tale that took place long ago
It happened in Verona – or at least they tell us so
Two families were at daggers drawn – in a very literal sense
Betwixt the Monty’s and Capulets things were rather tense

Now on the stage comes Romeo, a Montague to be sure
Unfortu-nately not the sharpest knife inside the drawer
No Romeo weren’t the fastest little pony in the race
And he had a mate, Mercutio, a total waste of space!

Mercutio liked to party and dragged Romeo along
Saying “let’s toddle down to the Capulet’s for a little wine and song”
Romeo wasn’t all that keen, but refusing wouldn’t be gallant
So he went along, just as it were to “eye the local talent”

Well at the rave he fell in love with gorgeous Juliet
and wouldn’t you just know it - she was a Capulet
In fact she was the apple of pa Capulet’s beady eye
A knotty situation – which nobody can deny!

Meanwhile…… back in the piazza…

Mercutio, was known round town, for showing off his stuff
They said “no good’ll come of this”, and one day sure enough
He challenged Tybalt to a duel, for calling Romeo names
and paid a rather heavy price – for playing silly games!

Now Romeo, as you’ll remember, wasn’t all that bright
And there and then he went and killed poor Tybalt in a fight!
Exile was the only thing would save him from the tomb
his love affair with Juliet - to carry on, on Zoom.

Now at this point the story line just goes from bad to worse,
There’s Nightingales and Larks and Friars, Night’s candles and a Nurse
Then Pa decides what Julie needs, is a bloke who won’t embarrass
So off he goes and comes back with a chap who’s name was Paris

When Juliet caught wind of this, she wasn’t much impressed
The thought of getting hitched to Paris left her most distressed
She hatched a cunning scheme designed to stop her getting wed
But the program called for our heroine to act like she was dead!

Well she wrote a note to Romeo and sent it with Friar John,
Another dimwit who got lost… and never passed it on,
So Romeo heads straight for home, where Julie does await him
And here it gets confusing so I’ll pass it on verbatim

.... at this point you add on the original verses posted above.

The tune I chose for this was "the Chandler's shop" (aka "The Chandlers's wife")... it seems to fit just fine.

Subsequently I learned that the original poem was published in the Sacramento Daily Union, Volume 19, Number 2929, 16 August 1860