BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: The Pooka
Date: 24 Oct 02 - 09:12 PM

*HEEHEEHEE* Art T., yer a Bridge over these troubled waters, Gawd bless ye.

...I'll away home, to my own bitty garret:
If I can't get a Shrink, then I'll have to get a Parrot

And it's O dear me, how will it be,
If I Lie, Paranoid, in the garret?

--Polly Andy

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: Art Thieme
Date: 24 Oct 02 - 07:16 PM

You people really learn slowly.

I've mentioned several times in posts to a few other threads that I had a cure for when my parrot couldn't stay on her perch. And I really do think it would work just as well for a parrot that can't seem to get a grip on itself.

Of course, that simple remedy, something you can really get your teeth into, is POLLY GRIP !!!!!

'Nuf said.

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 02 - 07:03 PM

I don't think you can even train a human head shrink to do all that reliably, Gareth -- but we should do some research -- ask the gal who owns one...

A

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: Gareth
Date: 24 Oct 02 - 06:43 PM

Ahhh Yes - but can we teach this avian head shrink to sing "Cosher Bailly", drink 10 pints of SA and buy a take a way Curry on the way home.

Till then I won't trust him !

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: Crane Driver
Date: 24 Oct 02 - 06:31 PM

What if the bloody parrot learns to speak, and starts repeating people's business secrets to the next client? You teach parrots to speak by talking to them until they repeat your words, don't you? Just confirms what we in the West always suspected about Cairdiff bird-brains.

BEWARE - they'll drink your brains in Cairdiff!!

Andrew

(Note for the Cymrically-challenged:- Brains is a Welsh brewery)

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: The Pooka
Date: 24 Oct 02 - 09:34 AM

Amos - "baited breadth" ha HARRR! Good one buddy. I've fished with the Wacky Worm (that's an actual lure, really) but this puts a different Spin on it. Me, I'm a Shallow-running Crankbait but you already know that. Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll drink beer all day in a boat. Admit it, A., you're just Parroting the Same Old Line.

O SO IT'S THE PADDY'S WAGON IZZIT?? A nice little cruise with Club Meds, bedad.

Aaaaand it's six in a bed by the old pierhead
And it's Liverpool Town fer meeeee.

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 02 - 10:30 AM

An aboriginal mind, that one!! He musta got one of those Ab' Stimulator devices off the Shopping Channel, huh? As for baited breadth, BWL, my apologies for correcting the incorrigible unnecessarily. I can just see you now with one of those really long night-crawlers wrapped around your waist.

:>)

Pooka, ole, buddy o'mine, the wagon is that way ==> ... and bring your meds!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: The Pooka
Date: 23 Oct 02 - 01:51 AM

HAHAHAHA / or, as you would say Amos, "LOL!!" Thanks, Mr. A., for rallying to the defense while I was awa' on one of my rare bouts of working. It was fell off the wagon I did; but I'm clean again t'anks be to Gawd.

Naow then. Begob, BeDub, you itnorant slug. Ain'tchoo nevva hoid dat da correck shpeling is "oul'"? Wuttsa maddah fo' U hah? O SO IT'S RE-BATED YER FISHHOOK DID YEZ!!! Yer gwine ter lose dis De Bate and suffer de Agony of De Feet, ye owl' Hooker. (Saaay, that's a Hoot.) Puts me in mind of the soul-haunting masterpiece of the incomparable T.S. Eliot, translated from the original Greek of course,

Knockanure both mean and poor
A church without a steeple
With bitches and hoors lookin' over half-doors
Criticizin' dacent people.

Actually I think The Byrds *did* practice in Scotland, ya Manx 'Cat you. But, they never got it right. Neither did Bonnie Charlie but nair mind aboot thot now.

Gibberish? **GIBBERISH*?? Rubles & Bullrushers in the Rann of Kutch sez I, wit' me roly poly Cabbage & Spinach, and Hy Ferogoney-Roly who used to be a rabbi here in town btw. (Reform, y'know.)

Glad you like my threads, Ell, if not my suits. Always knew I could count on the effluent voters. But I will arise and go now. Back to the other birdbrains on the Bricks Made From Sewage thread.

Jabberwockingly Yours,
Ab the Original Geek

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 02:47 PM

Amos - Thank you for the edification regarding parrot defecation. My only experience with a bird of the parrot sort was working in a business where the owner chose to have something called a Quaker Parakeet as a mascot, which he allowed to fly freely during business hours. Cleaning bird shit off of everything on our desks was a daily ritual. I was never conscious of exactly how often the little flying rat chose to leave his deposits, only that he did it with sufficient frequency that they were all over the place.   When the little fucker died, we employees had a big party to celebrate.   

Also, I am well aware of the proper spelling of "bated". As my comment was directed to The Pooka, who is well known to be the Mudcat's leading practitioner of gibberish, I misspelled it "baited" on purpose as a joke which I'm sure he will get. If you'll notice, I also misspelled "breath" as "breadth". I also misspelled "old" as "ole" earlier in the post and used the word "flurpy" which is, at least according to my spellchecker, not a word at all.

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 11:17 AM

Parrots are quite capable of refraining from defecation for long periods.

If your experience has been otherwise, it may be because they are trying to communicate...


As an aside -- breath is "baited" only when one has been eating anchovies. It is "bated", or held short, when one is in suspense or a state of anticipation.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 10:53 AM

And, since this bird's a Macaw, shouldn't he be practicing in Scotland instead of Wales?

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 10:52 AM

The bird therapy sessions, which last about half-an-hour, cost £30.

But would the bird be willing to take £30 in sunflower and pumpkin seeds instead of the cash?

Wouldn't it be a bit disconcerting to be pouring out one's heart to this macaw and, right in the middle of telling him why you hate your father so much, he lets out a squawk and takes a big ole flurpy macaw shit. I mean, parrots are constitutionally incapable of refraining from shitting for more than five minutes. But, maybe there's something symbolic there. You pour your angst into the bird, the bird digests it and shits it out in just a few minutes. Maybe they'd let you take it home and feed it to the rosebushes.

I love it when Pooka starts a thread. You know you can feel free to be just as full of shit as you want to. Come on, Pook, I'm waiting for your response with baited breadth.

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 09:28 AM

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a parrot.

Well, I do, of course, but your secret is safe with me as long as you don't nip! :>)

A

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: The Pooka
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 09:18 AM

Jeanie - hm good thought. "Mudsquawk," by Golly. The poor burdened birdie has to get it off his chestfeathers somehow, before all the Cymru troubles he's pecked up come to a dangerous beak and he just lets fly. Of course he might be too chicken too join, we being a pretty big 'Cat. But then again, as you say, "Maybe he already has." :)

- Pieces of Eight from Hull

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: Jeanie
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 02:01 AM

In the interests of "good practice", the therapist parrot is going to have to have what in the jargon are known as "supervision sessions" where he offloads all that has been loaded onto him. Maybe he could check into Mudchat when all the Welsh and Welsh ex-pat contingent are in there (as is nearly always the case !). Maybe he already has.

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: The Pooka
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 01:02 AM

Not at all, A, quite understandable. Save the Wales & all that sort of rot, eh wot? *g*

Subject: RE: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 12:53 AM

Oh -- Cardiff in the UK!!! I thought you meant Southern California!! Silly of me!! LOL!!

A

Subject: BS: Macaw offers Therapy sessions in Cardiff
From: The Pooka
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 12:45 AM

Well and good; but doesn't the poor *parrot* get awfully depressed?
(Have any UK 'Catters given the bird your woes? :)

BBC NEWS | UK | Wales |
Friday, 18 October, 2002, 13:21 GMT 14:21 UK

Parrot therapy for stressed workers

Businessmen suffering from stress are pouring out their troubles to a parrot at a Cardiff hypnotherapy clinic.

Doctor Raymond Roberts who runs the Capital Hypnotherapy Clinic, started the service as an experiment, but says it has become very popular.

"It all started when a client came in and said he needed to talk about some problems but felt he couldn't because he didn't want to divulge confidential information to anyone," said Dr Roberts. "I asked him if he would consider talking to Jesse instead. "I think he thought I was a bit crazy, but had a go and it was such a success. He came out of the session completely relieved because he had been able to talk about his problems without breaking confidentialities to anyone," he said.

Dr Roberts said since the service started two months ago he has been
inundated with people booking sessions with Jesse.

"I have been researching animal therapy for quite a while," he said.
"It is well known that stroking a cat or dog can help reduce stress.
So I wondered how it would work for people talking to an animal.
I decided to use a parrot because they would be easier to look after than a dog or cat."

The bird therapy sessions, which last about half-an-hour, cost £30.
"I take the clients into a room and use hypnotherapy to relax them," said Dr Roberts. "I leave them to off-load their problems to Jesse and when they come out they are much happier," he added.

Chris Sparks, who has businesses in marketing and promotion, was one of the first people to use Jesse.

"I was quite stressed out and wanted to talk it out, but didn't feel I could speak freely because it was about confidential business matters," he said.

"Dr Roberts suggested I speak to Jesse instead. I thought he was absolutely crazy at first and wondered if he was joking. But I went for it and it was marvellous. There has been a marked change in my attitude to things and I would definitely recommend it."

"I was able to unload all my burdens without breaking confidentiality," he added.

BBC Wales' Sian Richards