BS: Problem with guests...

Subject: RE: BS: Problem with guests...
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 04 - 09:52 AM

Pretending you're dead doesn't help, because then they hang around to help. Same thing for household problems ("The toilet's geysering? Let me help!")

Turning down the heat will sometimes work.

Best thing to start them packing is to start packing. When they ask why, you tell them that you've taken a job elsewhere and have to be at work tomorrow -- and if they'll buy the house they can stay.

Subject: RE: BS: Problem with guests...
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Aug 04 - 09:49 AM

Whilst visiting my sister in her barracks at Aldershot, a military town, I had to use the toilet. The paper there was of the Izal variety with 'Government Property. Now wash your hands please' stamped on every sheet.

I like having guests... they all leave me little presents. The last lot left me some rather nice socks and 3 pairs of nether garments! (They will be in the post back soon, my bum is a bit bigger than they are!)

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Problem with guests...
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 20 Aug 04 - 09:38 AM

.......is they stay far too long.....

Subject: RE: BS: Problem with guests...
From: GUEST,Mingulay
Date: 20 Aug 04 - 07:17 AM

Back in those far off days just about the only loo paper available was
the hard and shiny Izal. It was extremely skiddy in use and probably led to the invention of ABS now used on car brakes. It may not have been soft but it was certainly strong, today's equivalent being Kevlar. One sheet of the stuff would last a comb and paper player for several years and still be fit for its original purpose. It never had a crest and "By Appointment" on it because no known ink at the time could adhere to the surface. There are apparently large quantities still in existance defying the efforts of sewage plants to break it down into its constituent parts (cement dust, iron filings, asbestos etc). Youngsters today have it easy, soft loo paper indeed!

Subject: RE: BS: Problem with guests...
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 20 Aug 04 - 05:29 AM

I remember seeing ad's in the UK showing a nice little puppy stealing the loo roll, but the queens guest's??? Where did they conceal the said contraband?

It must be the best one upmanship to have a roll of crested and 'By Appoinment toilet tissue" next to one's throne.

Subject: RE: BS: Problem with guests...
From: Peace
Date: 20 Aug 04 - 03:41 AM

unfortunately
thousand
preview button
wotcha ducks and cocks.

Shanghaiceltic, sorry for the drift.

Subject: RE: BS: Problem with guests...
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Aug 04 - 03:08 AM

This could become widespread in the states

Subject: RE: BS: Problem with guests...
From: Peace
Date: 20 Aug 04 - 12:47 AM

Due to cuts in education funding in Alberta, the government has requested that students and teachers use both sides of the toilet paper. I posted that in the staff washrooms two Aprils ago on the first of the month. Thing is, people really got upset, because unfortunetely we really think our government would make that suggestion to save a few thousnd every year.

Subject: BS: Problem with guests...
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 19 Aug 04 - 08:22 PM

See what happens when guests are allowed in... At least no one seems to have nicked the loo paper in the chat room. Wonder if the stolen paper is a collectors item?

Distinguished guests pinched lavatory paper on Coronation Day
By Neil Tweedie
(Filed: 20/08/2004)


The British may no longer be global leaders in many areas but they can still teach the world a thing or two about state ceremonial.

However, as files released at the National Archives yesterday show, the great royal occasions of the past century have enjoyed their fair share of hitches.

Stolen lavatory paper at the coronation of Elizabeth II, water leaking through the roof almost directly on to the coffin of George VI and queue-jumping MPs are but a few of the headaches faced by the men behind the scenes.

The volumes come from HM Office of Works and its successor, the Ministry of Works, which during their lifetimes were charged with the planning and execution of coronations and funerals.

In 1910 the problem revolved around which wreaths to place on the coffin of Edward VII. There were scores to choose from but it was finally decided that there would be only four.

Naturally, one had to come from the Royal Family, and both the Commons and Lords had to be similarly accommodated. But when it came to the fourth choice, the demands of diplomacy won out.

The lucky winner was Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany, the late king's cousin, who returned the compliment four years later by invading Belgium.

The headache during the coronation of George V and Queen Mary in 1911 was how to seat all the guests. To solve the problem, an annex was built at the west end of Westminster Abbey and huge galleries erected inside. But was the temporary structure safe?

A report noted: "Upon the completion of the work, 200 men of the Brigade of Guards tested the safety of the galleries with satisfactory results."

Pomp was cheaper in the old days, the funeral of George V in January 1936 costing only a fraction over £2,000. The event was a complex affair because the body of the King, who had died at Sandringham, had to be brought to London before its final journey to Windsor.

Things were going well until the funeral cortege began its journey from King's Cross station to Westminster Hall. The rattling of the carriage dislodged the ball sitting atop the imperial crown, sending it bouncing along the street.

There were more problems at the lying-in-state when MPs, who had been given the privilege of inviting friends to the occasion without the necessity of queuing, decided to turn it into a vote-winning exercise.

The file noted: "This privilege was greatly abused by certain Members who introduced large bodies of constituents, resulting in congestion at the crypt and great inconvenience to the department."

The lying-in-state was accompanied by the proclamation in St James's Palace of his son, Edward VIII. Unfortunately, the Lord Chamberlain decided that the guns used for the welcoming 41-gun salute should be placed in neighbouring St James's Park rather than Hyde Park. The result was a deafening barrage that caused "considerable interruption" to the ceremony. An omen, perhaps, of things to come.

A leaky roof provided the problem during the lying-in-state of George VI in February 1952. Soon after the royal coffin was placed on the catafalque in Westminster Hall, water began dropping on to the platform holding it. It was decided that the ceremony could not be interrupted and no action was taken.

The MPs were also at it again, the report noting that "Members of Parliament greatly abused their privilege of introducing parties of four guests".

The coronation of the present Queen on June 2, 1953, was the first great ceremonial event of the television age.

But austerity still ruled in the 1950s and even the distinguished guests at Westminster Abbey were not above a little pilfering.

The post mortem on the ceremony recorded: "It was found, early on Coronation Day, that much of the lavatory paper had been removed, and in future it will be necessary to take steps to prevent this."