BS: Weird news & true stories

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 04:23 PM

I was at the Coop a couple of hours ago and had just joined a checkout lane when I heard a scraping noise behind me. A young lad of about ten years was pushing a grocery cart into a large freestanding candy display. He continued to push the display dispite the obvious fact that he was in danger of damaging it. I remarked out loud that it was rather ridiculous that the boy, if so stunned or ill-intentioned, would not be more closely supervised. His father, not three feet from me, gruffly asked me what my problem was. At that very moment, I was able to reply, "I don't have a problem, do you ?", because the display had toppled directly upon the young lad and his cart, knocking him to the ground with force. When I checked out I told the cashier I would be only to happy to be a witness if a lawsuit ensued. Don't you just want to slap some people ?

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 04:12 PM

Life IS a playground slide, Amos. Only some SOB glued broken glass, barbed wire, and razor blades to it.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 03:33 PM

Some people think life is a playground slide....


A

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 03:01 PM

And then there's this. I wish I had thought of it when I was in high school. (I'm sure that you can find the entire story on the web; this is snipped from it.)

Wis. Student Sues to End Summer Homework

MILWAUKEE (AP) -- A student whose vacation plans were spoiled has sued to end summer homework in Wisconsin, claiming it creates an unfair workload and unnecessary stress.

Peer Larson, 17, had lined up a dream camp counselor job last June, but honors pre-calculus homework turned his summer into a headache.

"It didn't completely ruin my summer, but it did give me a lot of undue stress both at home and at work," the high school junior said Thursday. "I just didn't have the energy or the time for it."

Larson and his father sued in Milwaukee County Circuit Court seeking the end of summer homework across the state. They argue that homework shouldn't be required after the required 180-day school year is over.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 02:51 PM

Visit Yellowstone!

The guy who was gored to death by a buffalo (bison) when he approached it -- the buff was angry with people because the previous visitors were a group of teenagers who had been throwing rocks at the animal.

The kid in Yellowstone who wandered away when his parents weren't watching and fell into a hot pot, from which 8 pounds of grease and clothing was recovered the next day.

The kid in Yellowstone who teased a moose and was stomped to death -- coupled with the judge, who ruled in the lawsuit filed by the kid's parents that all of the animals in Yellowstone should be tagged and their whereabouts tracked at all times.

Or the guy up in Anchorage who climbed over the moat and fence into the polar bear's cage. He got et, and the locals figured it was better than he deserved.

Or the guy up in Alaska last year or the year before who had spent years with the "brown bears" and considered them to be simply misunderstood. Unfortunately, his girl friend was et as well as him and two bears had to be shot to retrieve the human bodies.

Or the fella visiting Kodiak island, who back in the '60s was photographing a brown bear while offering it a marshmallow. He got his pictures, and jumped into his Volkswagen to drive away, taking the marshmallows with him. He was lucky, 'cause the bear simply ripped off the (US) driver's side front fender, door, quarter panel, and back fender.

Or the damnfools who decide that the hotpots at Yellowstone are just like a hot tub. Or the guy who dove into one to rescue a dog. Or....

Anyway, it there weren't so many being born I'd think that such things improve the gene pool.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Peace
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 01:08 AM

The stories from Flash Company, Mrr and Bill D make me shudder. The sheer stupididy/ignorance of some parents is mind boggling. All the animals mentioned are exceptionally strong. Arnie, on the best day of his life, using his whole body strength, could not arm wrestle a gorilla. Polar bears often swim 200 miles with little difficulty, and the large cats (even cougars have attacked younger people near where I live) are also strong and fast. Tales like these remind me of a line I read somewhere in a novel: "What are ya gonna tell the bear when ya got no more cookies?" Uh, yeaaaah.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: mack/misophist
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 12:52 AM

Thank you CalolC. Your quadrillion storey will be circulated. It deserves it.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: CarolC
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 12:35 PM

These days (and even back in the 1970s, when I was a zookeeper), most zoos (I'm not including roadside wild animal parks in that category) have very deep dry moats (usually ten or more feet deep and six or more feet across) as well as a fence between the public walkways and the enclosures of dangerous animals. It's not an easy thing to get into those enclosures. You not only have to be very stupid, you also have to be very determined.

I have a lot of stories like the ones in Donuel's opening post from my time working as a zookeeper. But I'm not going to tell them. Most of them are too depressing.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 12:11 PM

at a newly opened zoo in Kansas City about 30 years ago, I WATCHED as a teenage boy fed a 600lb. male silverback gorilla Hershey's Kisses! The gorilla would very carefully peel the foil off and eat the candy, then reach for another one. You can imagine what might have happened if the kid had teased the animal.......but this was not the worst problem...Gorillas, etc., can catch human diseases, and need to be behind a protective barrier for the gorillas sake!.....And to add to the list, in the rear of the cages, for access by the keepers, there was a lever to unlock the cage--which was within reach of a clever gorilla who was willing to strech a bit!...Needless to say, these situations were corrected after a while...but...

(my guide on the trip was a professional zookeeper who had inside info from other zookeepers)

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 12:06 PM

G W B elected for second term....

Surely Weird, but true.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 11:52 AM

And in 1987, some kid dared another kid to go into the polar bear's cage because polare bears are stupid and slow, he said. They both went in and the polar bear started eating the legs of one of the kids, who yelled Go get help they're biting me hard, but by the time help got there the boy was dead. I can't remember if it was the darer or the daree that got et, they both went in.
Evolution in action again.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 11:43 AM

Banning signs?

Sounds kind of fascistic to me!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Flash Company
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 11:41 AM

Brucie, I actually saw something not unlike that incident at Chester Zoo in the UK. A little girl of about 4 years had been lifted across a flower bed about 6 feet wide and was walking along the side of the lions enclosure holding the wire with her hand. Fortunately, someone grabbed her just before a lioness got there!

FC

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 07:32 AM

At today's Inauguration the local TV news has a list of what is banned. In keeping with the war riding atop terrorism certain items are of course BANNED. These items of contraband will be confiscated as per order of homeland security.

Signs, printed words etc.
Hot coffee thermos bottles of any type.
Certain food items.
Baby strollers of any type.
small folding chairs.
Umbrellas large or small.
-a dozen more common items...and at the end of the list
weapons.

Too bad they did not ban terrorists.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 11:41 PM

Now that's chilly.

I'll add a story, A woman had her husband's ashes made into an egg timer when he died so he could still "help" in the kitchen.

I like that idea.
I just had another friend who came back from a funeral of a friend of ours and she was wearing a small leather pouch around her neck. She comes up to me and says, here shake Jim's hand. Jim's family put his ashes in small vials and gave his friends a part of him. I wondered if I was shaking his hand or what other part I could have been shaking!

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 11:33 PM

Cold? Jaysus, it's so cold here the stallion's pecker is like a ten-dollar stack o' quarters.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 11:30 PM

Well that sure is a load of shit. I had a hard time believing it because I thought Dave M. was into environmental causes.
Thanks for doing the surfing for me A & B.


Nekkid hell, it's been too damn cold.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 11:26 PM

I can't top some of them, Don, but I read this about ten years back. A mother allowed her six or seven-year-old son to broach the barricade set up to prevent people fro getting close to the cage. The kid did, and he put his arm through the fence to attract the attention of the creatures inside. The mother watched. The creatures did get their attentions attracted, and one of them went to the kid's arm and tried to eat it. Cougars like food. The mother sued the zoo for having such crazed animals in it. I never did hear waht the result was, but I'd lay ten to one the judge had a few unkind words to say. I'll leave it to y'all to guess to whom.

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 11:17 PM

Rustic, my dear nekkid Net-surfer, CLICK THIS THANG!

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 11:12 PM

Dave Matthews Band bus driver and human waste story


Regards,

A

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 11:07 PM

I have a hard time believing that one about Dave Matthews. Where did you hear that story?

Subject: RE: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: CarolC
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 09:47 PM

Here's one...

Spain launches probe after Barclays ordered to pay 1.1 quadrillion euros


A quadrillion euros. (That's $1.4 quadrillion US.)

I think this is the first time I've ever seen "quadrillion" used in the contex of an amount of money before.

Subject: BS: Weird news & true stories
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 07:03 PM

Gleaned from CNN scrolling text and PBS:

In the national zoo in Washington DC a FOX broke into the bird house and ate an American Bald Eagle.

At the same zoo all the red pandas were killed when workers buried rat poison in their pen.

At the same zoo in a running gun battle a teenage gunman paralyzed another youth with his tech nine.

At the same zoo a swan was stoned to death by the neighborhood youth.

The driver for the Dave Matthews band pulled the band bus over on the side of a bridge over the Chicago river and relieved the bus of all its stored human waste into the Chicago river. Coincidentally at that very moment a high rollers party yacht was passing under the bridge in time for the patrons to be throughly doused.