BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: ranger1
Date: 23 Aug 05 - 06:14 PM

Yeah, but Denny Crane SO fits him. I watch the show (Boston Legal) just to see (and hear) him blather on and then finish up with "Denny Crane!" I know I'm easily entertained.

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Aug 05 - 05:21 PM

oh, horrors!

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Aug 05 - 04:38 PM

I saw him on a lawyer TV show and he looks more like J. Edgar Hoover every day - cigar and all.

His botox treatments barely allow him to raise his eyebrows anymore.

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: John Hardly
Date: 23 Aug 05 - 11:09 AM

You've got faculty?

I guess I'd rather have faculty than staph.

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 05 - 10:52 AM

Me...neither. I...am perfectly...in charge...of...all my faculties.

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: Kaleea
Date: 23 Aug 05 - 05:22 AM

Geez, no statues--I only have a cardboard standup in my living room of Commander Will Riker which my nephews gave me. He is thongless, but wears a black cowboy hat, has one ear with 2 pierced earring studs, a jean jacket & a "First Contact" fanny pack around his hips (it covers his cardboard centerfold crease). The kids dressed him, not me--I would never have thought of the earrings. We always "decorate" Will seasonally.
    Last night I watched my new B-day presents, The Trouble With Tribbles & Trials & Tribblations, back to back with my nephews if that helps any. Not a bona-fide Shat Attack, tho, huh?
   I don't---- really-------
          NEED -----to go------to the ----------   
                     meetings!

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 04:19 PM

"A veritable quantum leap into...into..."

Bedlam, perhaps?

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 03:42 PM

Yes. "To boldly go where no sentient lifeform has gone before...!"

Where SA have it wrong is: this is not an illness to be cured, it's a whole step forward in human evolution. A veritable quantum leap into...into...

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: jacqui.c
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 03:05 PM

LH - TWO statues! Laddie, you're way past redemption! It's definitely life, but not as we know it......

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 03:04 PM

No, nitpicking is!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: John Hardly
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 02:51 PM

holy crap. Now it's an "ism". ....and it maintains its "ohol".

No justice no peace. Your nits will be picked.

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 01:32 PM

So...Shatneric obsession is universal?

Wow. That is cosmic.

I have 2 such statues of Shatner, but only one is gilded. The other is in natural fleshtones. Both are devoid of discernable chest hair.

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 01:04 PM

Picking nits is universal, don't let's get sectarian on this one, Little Hawk.

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: *daylia*
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 01:04 PM

The 12 Suggested Steps of Shatnoholics Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over Shat and that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to Shatnity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Shat as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral Shatventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to ourselves and to Shat the exact nature of our rights.

6. Were entirely ready to have Shat remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked to fire all phasers upon our Shatventories.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make Shatmends to them all.

9. Made direct Shatmends to such people wherever possible, especially when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal Shatventory and when we were right promptly Shatmitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Shat, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the Power to carry that out.

12. Having had a Shatnirical Awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Shatnoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 12:43 PM

Nitpicking is a sign of advanced Shateroholicism, John Hardly. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: MMario
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 12:42 PM

okay - then it should be shatneraholeics. You can't deny he is an a-hole.

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 12:38 PM

When I spotted this thread, I thought it said Shambles Anonymous - it was right next to one of his :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 12:33 PM

I say let's name and shame.

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: gnu
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 10:16 AM

"ohol"... Nah... too easy.

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: John Hardly
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 10:09 AM

"-oholics" as a suffix implies that every compulsive obsession (as alchoholic) contains the four letters "ohol" in their spelling. They do not.

The thread should be titled "Shatnerics Anonymous!!!". He is not, after all, named "William Shatnerohol".

That's all I have to say on the topic.

Maybe.

Subject: RE: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 09:52 AM

"Do you....have a life-sized, gilded statue of William Shatner a/k/a James Tiberius Kirk, clad only in a very small thong, posed fetchingly on your front lawn,...."

no, but there IS this cute poster converted to a dart board. 50 points for a direct hit on the nose.

Subject: BS: Shatneroholics Anonymous!!!
From: GUEST,One who cares....
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 09:49 AM

Do you find yourself drawn again and again to viewing old reruns of the orginial "Star Trek" show or the many movies and sequels that it spawned? Do you find yourself thinking about it often, and repeating phrases like, "Beam me up, Scottie." If so, you may be experiencing the first serious signs of Shatneroholicism!

Do you find yourself surfing the Net, searching out any and all information you can find about William Shatner...(and, God knows, there's a lot of it)...? Do you...seem to have...a tendency.....to....leave large....gaps....in your statements....when....speaking publicly? (purpose of said gaps being to further emphasize the absolutely vital and riveting nature of your comments).

If so, you are sliding down the slippery slope to Shatneroholicistic damnation!

Do you....have a life-sized, gilded statue of William Shatner a/k/a James Tiberius Kirk, clad only in a very small thong, posed fetchingly on your front lawn, in your entrance alcove, or in a special place of honor in your living room, your rec room, or...dare I ask... your BEDROOM?????

If so, you have fallen head over heels into the very depths of acute Shatneroholisim! You ARE a confirmed Shatneroholic!

But don't despair! An organization of like-minded people has formed in a mutual effort to overcome this dread malady and restore relative sanity and stability to those who were once deemed beyond help, beyond hope, beyond redemption, beyond the pale!

Our 12 step method will restore your normality, restore your faith in a Supreme Being who will deliver you from the hell of Shatneroholicism and into the light of true understanding. You will, by repeated viewings of Pink Panther movies, Peter Seller's "The Party", and early Jerry Lewis films, return slowly to a state of sobriety and calm.

You can be saved. Believe it. Believe it now. You are already on the road to recovery. One little step at a time.

Don't hesitate. Contact your local chapter of Shatneroholics Anonymous. Do it NOW.