BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Cluin
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 12:33 PM

Guess you forgot the pornospam link with that one.

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 11:38 AM

Ever had a blow-job from a woman with no teeth?

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Hollowfox
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 01:28 PM

Ask him if he means the soulless undead or hemophages. It probably won't change his attitude, but it might make him pause while he figures it out. Besides, it's fun to have an excuse to say "hemophage" Mary, feelingsillyonasnowyday

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Davetnova
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 04:27 AM

What about Zombies? Biblical Zombies

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: GUEST,Becca72 borrowing computer
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 04:24 PM

Sorry, the above guest was me.

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 04:18 PM

Easy to solve with a stake through the heart but the ensuing Police enquiry could be problematic.

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 03:42 PM

No kidding. I have run into a few of those too. They are simply marvelous at rationalizing their way into believing that all their problems are totally 100% real and that you are the one who should be doing something about solving them.

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 01:05 PM

I know a couple of "emotional vampires"...people who can suck the life out of you with all their neediness.

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 10:02 AM

We had a vampire friend; he was always sticking us for the drinks. He always bit young women on the breasts while humming "Fangs for the mammaries." Finally we gave him as stake dinner -- he had a good heart.

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Cluin
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 01:57 AM

I know a vampire. He can halt any lively conversation, kill any buzz, and suck all the energy out of the room, seemingly by merely showing up.

I feel sorry for him.

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 01:52 AM

"Vampires" and "Human Leeches" DO exist - of the psychological type. Although I once knew a disturbed lady who was convinced that she WAS a vampire and could live on human blood alone - but she didn't have a supply, and had to make do with 'normal food', and that was what she blamed for all her 'troubles'...

I'm not making this up you know....

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Peace
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 02:33 PM

Does Buffy know?

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 02:24 PM

Hey, excellent points there, Susan!

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Bee
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 12:39 PM

Slay 'em all with kindness, punkfolkrocker, invite the vampires over for blood pudding and Bloody Marys, have the preacher in to say grace and share the meal. And mind the silverware, if it goes missing you'll know who's to blame.

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 12:21 PM

PFR, just make sure to play Cradle of Filth constantly and he will leave.

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 11:38 AM

Can't remember much about the programme other than it was on Tele a couple of years ago and it implied that the whole vampire legend had arisen as a result of the actions of Vlad the Impaler who came from Transylvania...a place I have been to visit....and I might say would not particularly want to go again...once bitten twice shy as the expression goes...but not bitten by a vampire...just the drabness of the place and many of the people in country areas. I can understand why people visiting there might 'imagine' all manner of things as it is a bit like the villages portrayed in the Dracula films and the odd people in the local inn etc. In truth just very poor farming communities who are subsisting...and their only social life is the 'local' inn where any strangers are 'studied' when they walk in.
I recommend anyone to go there for a visit, just for the wierd experience of it all.
Incidentally, those I chatted with have not heard of vampires other than bats which they learnt about in school.

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 11:23 AM

There can't be any vampires....all the times I've had to bite my tongue, no one ever offered to do it FOR me.

I think I'll do it again now...before I stick my neck out into this discussion.

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 10:49 AM

Oh yeah, one more. Remind them that fear of the occult is, itself, occult. In other words, responding to the Enemy by waging battle personally, in their own name, wrongly usurps our Lord's power over the Evil One and his minions. The correct way to repond to evil spirits (within the fundie view) would be to order them to depart, in Christ's name, and then immediately turn their own attention to praising Jesus and resting confidently in the trust that He will deal with the matter Himself. Geeze, don't they know anything about spiritual warfare?????

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 10:38 AM

Jokes aside, my suggestion above is sound. Nothing convicts a rigid fundamentalist of their own sin better than inviting them to actually think about the implications of the Gospel-- and they are not often invited to actually think in a friendly fashion, as you might expect. Oh, they can foam at the mouth while quoting "Smite 'em" Scripture right back atcha, but smilingly repeat the reassurance that Christ died to relieve all that burden of having to smite and, instead, gave his folks a much bigger and harder job-- that love thing. It'll get 'em eventually as it sinks in.

Or you can always ask them what Gospel-love they have forgotten to offer while distracted by the excuse-from-ministry that hatred represents, and sympathize with them for having temporarily been distracted from their Gospel job by Ole Satan's tricks drawing them to the ineffectual side of trying to work salvation by violence.

Another approach is to remind them that they no longer have a right to be right-- that's a right they gave up in the bargain of taking Christ's atonement for themselves, you know. Oh yeah-- when you accept that deal, you give up personal rights in favor of a higher value-- the privilege of service to the Gospel. Takes the piss right out of righteous anger and replaces it with humble gratitude.

None of these approaches work if tried in a tone of your own judgementalism, of course-- that's just aiming never-ending ego back and forth through opposing mirrors, as well as reviving old hurts. No, you gotta offer them a hand. Try for a friendly attitude of, "Oh, sorry you fell down, old man, let me help you back on track and you'll get it all sorted out on a jiffy."

THAT is the hard part!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 08:38 AM

"Mummy Mummy, all the other kids at school say we're vampires"........
"Shut up and drink your soup.....before it clots!"

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 08:26 AM

Perhaps Georgian, she is a polite vampire. Some are polite, some are patient. Likr the patient one who said to Miss Prudence the schoolteacher, "I'll see you next period."

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 07:55 AM

I think the woman at the local surgery is a vampire. She keeps saying "Necks please"

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: bobad
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 07:33 AM

Vampires suck.

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 01:26 AM

I'm curious if he will resort to traditional techniques. Tell him that I have some werewolves around here that need dealing with too, if he has time to spare. Silver bullets are damn hard to find.

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Cluin
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 01:21 AM

And following that, what medications do you suggest?

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 01:18 AM

How does he propose to identify the vampires? And having done so, how does he propose to kill them? And following that, how will he deal with the inevitable legal ramifications?

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 01:10 AM

But if vampires exist, wouldn't one have to accept that they are not/no longer human? What happens then? Turn the other cheek? *G*

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: Bert
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 12:35 AM

Well said Susan.

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 11:29 PM

Not our job to kill 'em, tell the Rev. Our job to love 'em, no matter how hard. Gospels say so, trumps the Old Testament every time.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: GUEST,Spiny Norman
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 11:26 PM

Dinsdale?

Subject: BS: slay vampires/protect them from slayers?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 11:25 PM

tough one this..

me and the mrs try to be PC about this issue..

but her brother is an ordained minister in a rigid fundamental christian sect..


weird.. cuz we all a bit goth in our dress sense and tastes in music..


oh.. and me & mrs just think vampires are sad fantasising student twats !!


whereas her christian minister bro actually believes they vamps exists

and he must purge the world of their evil presence..


maybe trouble brewin....


sad.. daft. scary.. or what !!!??