ADD: You Can't Be a Pirate (Don Freed)

Subject: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Kudzuman
Date: 18 Jan 03 - 05:54 PM

I need the lyrics to a song that has this line, "You can't be a pirate with all your parts"   Any ideas? I ran a search and came up with nuttin'. Any help appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Kudzuman

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 18 Jan 03 - 07:01 PM

This is probably based on what seems to be the commonest pirate joke. I won't post it here, it's been done too many times. If you run a search on pirate jokes, you will find it and at least a dozen vatiants.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 Jan 03 - 01:08 PM

There once was a pirate named Gates,
Who used to do battle on skates,
But he fell on his cutlass,
Which rendered him nutless,
And practically useless on dates.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 19 Jan 03 - 03:36 PM

Les Sullivan does a very funny song based on one of the oldest jokes about the old sailor explaining how he lost a leg a hand and an eye.
I know this is not an answer to the request but DOES give something
else to look out for.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 15 Feb 03 - 12:45 AM

Copied from http://www.laughnet.net/archive/jokes/rhyme.htm

Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses an eye.
It hurts like the blazes
And makes you make faces
And you can't let your mates see you cry.
Life seems two-dimensional,
Quite unconventional,
No bleeding need to ask why.
Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses an eye.

But it's all part of being a pirate.
You can't be a pirate (you can't be, you can't be)
With all of your parts.
It's all part of being a pirate.
You can't be a pirate (you can't be a pirate)
With all of your parts.

- Saskatchewan singer Don Freed from his song, "Being a Pirate" (on his tape
   "Live ARR!" on Bushleague Records)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 15 Feb 03 - 11:20 AM

Thanks for posting this one, Jim.

It could use a few more verses, and instructions for singing it in 3-part harmony. ;~)

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Marc
Date: 29 Jun 03 - 12:16 PM

Would anyone have the other verses to that song? They're about losing a hand, ear, & leg. Tom Lewis sang it at Mystic a couple weeks ago.

Thanks
Marc

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Barry Finn
Date: 29 Jun 03 - 08:47 PM

Words & music by Tom Lewis. I don't think he's recorded it yet but I think he said it's coming out on his new CD.

Barry

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: syren
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 07:01 AM

Actually, Tom only wrote the verse about losing your "whatsits"...I forgot who he said wrote the rest. But yes, it will be on his next cd.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Barry Finn
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 09:42 AM

Whoops, thanks.

Barry

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 10:19 AM

hmmm...maybe I heard wrong...I thought I heard Tom Lewis say he was NOT gonna record it. It is a VERY clever, funny song, and the ways Tom has polished (with props!) it from Don Freed's original is amazing...learn it quickly, folks, for the sad thing is, once it has 'gone public', EVERYONE will be doing it, and we will be inundated with versions and quickly tired of it, (much like "A Place in the Choir", and "Barret's Privateers" a few years back)...

Tom Lewis told me that the group "Pyrates Royale" helped him with it onstage recently, and I cannot imagine them not doing it, if it is possible.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: MMario
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 10:20 AM

I can see them doing it - oh   my- indeed I can see them doing it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Barry Finn
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 06:15 PM

Hi Bill, could be, I thought he wrote it & was wrong there, could've been hearing oppsite that night. Barry

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 08:39 PM

Really pathetic, the number of verses unearthed since January. Doesn't anyone care? Doesn't anyone remember just one more verse? Do I have to e-mail Tom Lewis?

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Marc
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 09:57 PM

I did the workshop that he did it at in Mystic, (I got to wear the peg leg). He said nothing about his recording it there. He did say he'd be glad to give me the words. But we never hooked up again. I agree with Charlie, everyones going to want to do it, and I want to do it before everybody else.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 10:31 PM

from some scribbled notes on my program..(I never wanted to know shorthand before!)

...ear..
it drips down your neck,
and ________the deck....
You can't wear your glasses..
........

...hand..
It spurts and it squirts,
and it jolly well hurts,
and now you can't play in the band..

...leg...
It hurts like the devil,
{and you can't remain level?}
hoppin' around on a peg!
[and when you go to propose to a lass].
you can't kneel down to BEG!.

sad, but that's all I can do...*grin*

Subject: Lyr Add: BEING A PIRATE (Don Freed)
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 07:36 PM

Here is what Tom sang on Sunday morning, attributed as above to Don Freed, on "Live ARR!" from Bushleague.

YOU CAN'T BE A PIRATE
(Don Freed)

Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses an ear.
It drips down your neck, and it falls on the deck,
'Til someone shouts, "Oy, what's this 'ere?"
You can't wear your glasses, you can't [poll?] the lasses,
Your friends have to shout so you'll hear;
Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses an ear.

CHORUS
It's all part of being a pirate (a pirate, a pirate);
You can't be a pirate with all of your parts.
Oh, it's all part of being a pirate (a pirate, a pirate);
You can't be a pirate with all of your parts.

Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses an eye.
It stings like the blazes, it makes you pull faces,
You can't let your mates see you cry.
A dashing black patch will cover the hatch
And make sure that the socket stays dry;
Being a pirate is all fun and games
'Til somebody loses an eye.
CHORUS

Being a pirate is all fun and games
'Til somebody loses a hand.
It spurts and it squirts and it jolly well hurts,
Pain only a pirate could stand.
The fash'nable look is a nice metal hook,
But now you can't play in the band.
Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses a hand.
CHORUS

Being a pirate is all fun and games,
'Til somebody loses a leg.
It hurts like the dickens, your pace never quickens,
Hopping around on a peg.
Ask your sweetheart to marry, but too long you've tarried,
'Cause now you can't kneel down and beg.
Being a pirate is all fun and games
'Til somebody loses a leg.
CHORUS

He added a verse, "Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a ....... whatsit" at the pub sing but what with one thing and another I did not get that one. Did anyone?

---

Click to play

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,celtaddict
Date: 04 Jul 03 - 07:46 PM

The pirate song words were from me, and of course the typo not separating the title from the body. Where are the elves when I need them? And why does the site no longer recognize me as a member?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Marc
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 09:02 AM

Thank You celtaddict .

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 10:17 AM

Yes, thanks so much!

Parting is such sweet sorrow...

And a pirate is much more than the sum of his/her parts!

Arghhh!
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 12:19 PM

ahh..at least ONE clever soul had a recorder running..*grin*...I'd give a nickel for the VIDEO, though! Thanks!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,celtaddict
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 02:28 PM

Quick ear, quicker shorthand (and after a graduate degree still maintain that was the most useful semester course I took in high school), and was forewarned to have paper brain out since I had heard it at the pub sing, so could get it on the second hearing. Tom sings so distinctly one rarely misses a word. Tune is really easy. No video, but I do have still photos! The best moment of the video probably would be Marc NOT strapping on the peg.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 02:33 PM

You can't be a pirate without.... a few coarse'airs,

Said Nigel, lowering the tone!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,Celtaddict
Date: 05 Jul 03 - 03:00 PM

And here I was worrying about the "private ears" and the "cut lass."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Jan 04 - 09:43 PM

There is a band at a local pub that learned this song in August and has been performing it since. They have added another verse and it is about losing your head. I will see if I can get the verse and with thier permission I will post it here for you.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,Scabby Douglas
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 09:14 AM

Anyone got a tune for this, or anywhere there's a recording?

It's brilliant.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,Scabby douglas
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 11:11 AM

In all seriosity...

I really want to get the tune for this.
I'm not kidding.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Scabby Douglas
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 07:42 PM

I'd settle for a key.
Major? Minor?
like a shanty?

Waltz time?

Give us a clue....

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: MMario
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 08:12 PM

scabby - you're not being ignored - the tune part is the hard part.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,Scabby Douglas...
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 04:46 AM

so I should just be patient?
Huh?
Just wait for a while, and stop pestering people?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,Scabby Douglas
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 04:46 AM

I can do that.


I can be patient.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Wotcha
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 05:09 AM

To quote Mr. Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean ... "Take wot you can ... Give nothing back!

AAaarh

Brian

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 09:27 AM

I did not mean to imply that, SD - just wanted you to know you weren't being ignorred.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,Scabby Douglas
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 10:18 AM

I have a warm fuzzy feeling now.
Somebody cares.
Awww..

Urk.

Now I have a nauseated feeling.
Made myself sick.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 11:22 PM

I talked to my sister tonight. She knows of a band who plans to have this out on a new CD this summer. If nothing else she'll get the tune from that and we'll make the info available for others to do the same.

Also, Dick Greenhaus is trying to hunt down a copy of the original artist's CD for us. If we get that, we'll share, with permission.

And, lastly, BillD said something about being able to sing it to me, so if all else fails....**bg**...in the meantime, if anyone comes across it, we're still looking for it, too!

That other verse sounds great, too, please do post it if possible.

Thanks!

kat

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 15 Jan 04 - 08:27 AM

Someone should ask Tom Lewis ([e-mail]) for the tune, and his unique verses.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Jan 04 - 11:07 AM

well, he had ONE 'unique verse'..*grin*... about losing your "whatsis", which they did NOT act out in the public show at Mystic.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Barbara
Date: 18 Feb 04 - 06:51 PM

Well now, if someone would be so good as to come up with the whatsis verse, I will post the tune. I stuck my clever little tape recorder in someone's face and he sang me one verse and the chorus and promised to send me the words, but no joy there yet. So, I'll trade a tune for a 'whatsis', sewn back on or not.
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: MMario
Date: 18 Feb 04 - 07:38 PM

c/mon - someone post the whatsis verse so we can get the tune!!!!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Barbara
Date: 18 Feb 04 - 08:52 PM

Hey Mmario, send me your email and I'll send you the tune.
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 18 Feb 04 - 09:59 PM

OK, so I posted the tune Barbara sent me - now what about the "whatsit"?
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Feb 04 - 10:55 PM

hmmmfff..I heard the "whatsit" verse ONCE...in a crowded barroom with no pencil available...and my brain cell ain't what it usta was. Someone needs to corral Tom at a gig somewhere and beg....surely we are 'legion' enuf to have spies everywhere and send a Mudcatter to bring back the goodies!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 Feb 04 - 08:52 AM

Tom is scheduled for a concert here in Maine at the Chocolate Church in Bath on Thursday, March 25th. If no one has posted the verse by then I'll be prepared to extract it from him. It could be a dangerous operation...

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Scabby Douglas
Date: 19 Feb 04 - 09:54 AM

Well.
Thank you for the tune.
Thanks Barbara, and MMario
Thank you thank you thank you.

And I have some time to practice before I unleash it on an unsuspecting public.

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

Aaaarrr...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Feb 04 - 12:47 PM

yes!! Go get 'im, Charley...lie, if you need to..*grin*...tell him, "Of course I won't post it on the internet for thousands of people to learn! I'll only sing it in the shower on alternate Tuesdays".

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Cool Beans
Date: 19 Feb 04 - 02:25 PM

This song is rated ARR!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,seanaface
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 10:25 PM

Hog Eye Naavy does an awesome version of this song! Catch them Sat nights at the Aristocrat in Indianapolis, IN. The pub is NO SMOKING on Saturdays at the lead's insistance.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Lady Hillary
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 10:37 PM

Sew wot's the meldy arredy?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 11:48 PM

I remember a very funny song by Ray Stevens on the "pirate" theme with some very "Charles Hawtrey"-type gay dialogue about fancy slippers etc., with the very butch pirates (ala Brian Blessed saying "YEW WANT TO WEAR WHAT!!??). Anyone got the lyrics of that?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't be a pirate ....?
From: Barbara
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 12:16 PM

Lady Hillary, go up to the top of the post and click on the MIDI switch, or find the place in this thread where the words are posted; below the words are the words Click to play, or try it here: CLICK TO PLAY
Blessings,
BArbara