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Jesus' Penis
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Subject: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Manasseh Date: 02 Nov 00 - 11:13 AM The Bible Question thread raises interesting points- was the Son of God Made Flesh made with a penis? And what are we to make of the morality of Conversion by Fornication? |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: MMario Date: 02 Nov 00 - 11:17 AM Why wouldn't He have been? and Jesus showed by his teachings and associations many times He had no problems with fornication, just adultery. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: The Shambles Date: 02 Nov 00 - 11:17 AM Given the faith that he was born into, it may be a good idea to recognise this and 'cut a lnog story short'? |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 02 Nov 00 - 11:25 AM New Year's Day used to be the Feast of the Circumcision, for Catholics, but we had it changed a few years back.
There's a allegedly true story about a pedantic parishioner who used to insist on wishing everyone, including the parish priest, "Happy Circumcision" instead of "Happy New Year". Maybe that's why they changed it. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Peter T. Date: 02 Nov 00 - 11:27 AM I don't know if this is a serious thread, but there was extensive discussion of this and related matters in the late Middle Ages and the Renaissance, particularly regarding increasing numbers of representations of the naked baby Jesus in paintings with the Virgin Mary. A recent book on the subject was reviewed extensively a year or two ago in the New York Review of Books. yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Wolfgang Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:09 PM The obvious link here is to The Holy Foreskin. No foreskin without penis. Q.E.D. Wolfgang |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:15 PM On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise him, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he had been conceived. (Luke 2:21)
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: The Shambles Date: 02 Nov 00 - 01:13 PM Sorry. I did tackle this one a little half-cocked. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 02 Nov 00 - 01:23 PM On the contrary, you're a real prick. (JUST KIDDING!)
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Jim the Bart Date: 02 Nov 00 - 01:38 PM Wolfgang - thanks to the link to that site. I'm always looking for new insights and POV's. Bart,eschewing cheap attempts at humor, for once |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Jon Date: 02 Nov 00 - 02:03 PM It would be nice if we could get the input here of some of the people from the Bible thread. Praise's views on the joy of having Jesus inside you would be really interesting. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: wysiwyg Date: 02 Nov 00 - 02:12 PM Wha-hooo! They want me to talk about JAYSUS!!!! RIGHT after you tell me about your 200th hemorrhoidectomy, THAT'S when I'll talk about THIS aspect of our Lord, and me. (shaking her head, a slight smile escaping)... some people... ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 02:24 PM Guest Jon? June 4 to November 2 without a post and you choose to rejoin us with an insult to Praise's beliefs? Your "quip" is not only not witty, it is offensive. To anyone who chooses to continue this thread, please keep in mind that you are walking a very fine line between amusing some and genuinely hurting others. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: wysiwyg Date: 02 Nov 00 - 02:31 PM (It's OK, SINSULL. Jesus is tough. He can take it. He already did. The rest of us... aw, we're pretty tough too. You sweetie. ~Susan) |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Kim C Date: 02 Nov 00 - 02:40 PM I think Alex settled it with the verse from Luke. It stands to reason that since Jesus was supposed to live and suffer as a human bean, that He would have a little friend like everyone else. The Bible as we know it doesn't say so but I imagine He was tempted as a result of it, like everyone else. On the surface it seems like a ridiculous question, but me being an enquiring mind myself, I can understand it. I came up in the Southern Baptist church, and my elders did not care much for my enquiring mind. But God gave me it, and my inquisitiveness has got me out of trouble as much as it has ever got me into it, maybe more. And I firmly believe that the Father, Son and Holy Ghost all three have a very healthy sense of humor and do not mind a little good-natured ribbing once in awhile. If we laugh, and we are made in God's image, then He must laugh too. There are some verses in Proverbs about laughter but shame on me, right now I can't remember them. :D |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 02:43 PM We cross posted, Praise. To me, it is not a question of who can take it. It is a question of right or wrong. By the way, any idea of recovery time on an hemorrhoidectomy? Maybe Preparation H is the better route. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:03 PM Just remembered how the good sisters used to skirt the issue of circumcision claiming that it was the ceremony after the birth of a child where a woman would be blessed and allowed back into the Temple. She was "unclean" until then and could not leave her home. No mention of bris. Precocious little brat that I was, I pointed out that the Latin meant "cutting around". Ten "Our Fathers" and ten "Hail Marys". |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: wysiwyg Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:03 PM Yes, but in some cases, surgery is such an attractive option to contemplate, eh? ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Matt_R Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:04 PM Smegma, or not to smegma? You make the call! |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:08 PM I always admired Mrs. Bobbitt's approach. Anaesthetize him with a bottle of Jack, whack it off, and toss it out a car window. Oh sorry guys - a different operation. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: catspaw49 Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:14 PM ...uh, yeah................... I assume since the rituals of the Jewish religion extend that far back, that a Bris of some sort would have been in order. Back in college, I have vague memories of discussing this in one of my religion classes and while Dr. Holloway and others seemed to be quite serious about it, my thoughts were more like, "Who cares? You've got to be kidding." Come to think of it, those are still my thoughts. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Irish sergeant Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:25 PM I always assumed, after flirting with several relions before converting to Catholocism, that if the bible didn't mention it. It wasn't important. However, being of the Jewish faith (Or at least, Mary was) Jesus went through bris like every other male child of his time and place. I was under the impression that he did have because I believe you couldn't be accorded status as a rabbi if you weren't "Whole". I haven't checked out Exodus lately and I am rather vague on the Jewish religion so my imformation may be wrong. If this isn't a serious threat asking a question for information, maybe we ought to back off these shoals. There are as pointed out a bove, people who don't necessarly have a sense of humor. I, personally think God does have a sense of humor. Hey, two words, duckbilled platypus! Hi Praise! Neil |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Russ Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:32 PM Chalcedon (451 AD) " Following, then, the holy fathers, we unite in teaching all men to confess the one and only Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. This selfsame one is perfect both in deity and in humanness; this selfsame one is also actually God and actually man, with a rational soul and a body. He is of the same reality as God as far as his deity is concerned and of the same reality as we ourselves as far as his humanness is concerned; thus like us in all respects, sin only excepted. www.iclnet.org/pub/resources/text/history/creeds.chalcedon.txt |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,A Believer Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:38 PM I don't know how such a subject as this could ever come into someone's mind, much less degenerate into whether Mary the mother of Jesus could have conceived any other way except as the only miracle of its kind. I quote portions of Luke 1: -- After the angel told Mary she would conceive Jesus, v. 34 reads "And Mary said to the angel, 'How can this be, since I am a virgin?' v. 35 continues, "And the angel answered and said 'The Holy SPIRIT will come upon you and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; and for that reason the holy offspring shall be called the Son of God.'" Putting it simply and plainly: the incarnation was accomplished by this creative act of the Holy Spirit in the body of Mary. This was a special miracle and miracles are not meant to be explained. And thank God for this miracle which was for the purpose of redemption of mankind!! |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Jon Date: 02 Nov 00 - 04:29 PM You find it offensive? As offensive as having to endure the born-again witnessing, proselytizing, and Mother ~Praise's Rescue Mission?? I think not. Hallay-freakin-looyah. Take it away, JEEzis. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 04:42 PM You are trying too hard, Jon. Not a word since June but now you're in an uproar over Praise. Very strange. She and I chat almost daily and she has never tried to convert me. What makes you so special? |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 02 Nov 00 - 04:50 PM I'll try to convert you if you feel left out, Sinsull. Let's see, if you have Canadian and that's running at 66 cents American to the Canadian dollar -- just how much did you want to convert, by the way? No wait. I know the real problem. It's some temperature Celsius where you are and you want to know what that is in REAL degrees (Fahrenheit). I can do that conversion too. Actually the funny thing is, I've never seen Praise try to convert anybody. She is very vocal about her beliefs, but then again it's a free Internet and she has the right to say whatever she feels about her beliefs. But never have I ever seen her say, "you should become a Christian" or anything of the sort. Some people just need thicker skin, I'm thinking. If any Christian within 100 meters of you expressing anything about their faith seems to you like proselytization, you must be very insecure in your own faith (or lack thereof). Or maybe some people just hate to see others happy and at ease with their worldview? "I'm feeling existential Angst about metaphysics and so should you?" This seems to me to be the critics were feeling when Bob Dylan converted to Christianity (if that's what he did; he sure crowed like it, anyway). Or maybe there are just some people who can't live without bitching and moaning and complaining and raining on other people's parades. Or maybe I just need an ice cream cone. Yes, that seems more likely.
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Tinker Date: 02 Nov 00 - 05:07 PM Well,I'm much more accustomed to being told I boarder on the heretical than the evangelical. Hey Praise, I brought up the mystics and you got the heat. Sorry. I still think it's just the bar going lower and lower in an attempt to prompt a real rage. When there has been so much already said through the ages, who would want to compete with the writings of Catherine and Julian anyway.... And all will be well:~>and all will be well:~>and all will be well:~> :~> :~> Tinker Catspaw--enjoyed the prayper doll... but it leaves this thread unanswered...LOL... |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 05:10 PM C'mon Tinker. Join me and the mouse in an ice cream cone. We,re converting from vanilla to chocolate. Just remembered: I saw a great T-shirt called the Tinker with a picture of the Thinker with tools. Thought of you. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Lonesome EJ Date: 02 Nov 00 - 06:03 PM Wasn't it Christ Who said "there is no such thing as BAD publicity"? Come to think,might have been Pilate. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: BigDaddy Date: 02 Nov 00 - 06:04 PM Whatever our personal beliefs, I don't see why anyone would want to begin a thread with such a title. Whether it's a "serious" thread or an attempt at humor, it's inappropriate. I'd be equally offended were the reference to Buddha, Mohammed, Confucius or any other revered spiritual leader. Come to think of it, I'd be offended no matter whose name was attached. I'm sure there are places out there where such wording might be considered funny or cute. I'd suggest that's a good place to stick it. I'm not a prude by any means and I'm not offended by any honest and open discussion of sex or religion; but I have been weary of middle-school "humor" since middle school. My congratulations and best wishes to all those who took this annoyance with good grace. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 06:13 PM Thank you, Big Daddy. That's what I was trying to say but got caught up my own self righteousness. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: catspaw49 Date: 02 Nov 00 - 06:38 PM Yeah BD and Sins........They took it real serious in that course too and like I said, who gives a hoot? This one may be a topic for the great minds but to me its both dumb and just another pot-stirrer. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Tinker Date: 02 Nov 00 - 06:49 PM Sins you made me laugh out loud. It was my converting to chocolate that first got me regular practice in coping with flame throwers.Fifteen years ago today the Mr.and I legally hooked up. Barely notice 'em anymore, well the blatent ones occaisionally get a down right belly laugh these days..... Tinker Where did you see the shirt? Catalog? Store? Can I get my hubby to scoure the city? |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Jeri Date: 02 Nov 00 - 06:50 PM Either it was a troll, or a little kid asking. It's the sort of question a little kid would ask. The answer you would give a little kid is "Jesus was a man and most men have penises." I've got a few smart-ass answers I'll keep to myself. It's a real bitch when guest trolls only winding up trolling guests, who further troll. I sort of wonder if we have someone talking to themselves here. (Wouldn't be the first time.) It isn't as offensive as it is silly. And a bit desperate... |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 07:00 PM Catalog, Tinker. I still have it. I'll let you know. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: catspaw49 Date: 02 Nov 00 - 07:11 PM JEri, while a troll it may be, I swear to you there are scholars that actually take this seriously. Why, I have no idea............ Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Jon Date: 02 Nov 00 - 07:32 PM Sorry, Daddy, but:
Subject: RE: Bible question
Um, harpgirl, dearest, you have a right to be offended, but we also have a right to be
Subject: RE: Bible question
I also wonder, would you walk up to people discussing these topics at a folk venue |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: katlaughing Date: 02 Nov 00 - 08:17 PM Harpgirl rides again! Sheesh, Abby, cut it out! My 4 year old grand-nephew wanted to make sure of his anatomical parts, so asked his mom if all boys had "a penis and balls like me?" She answered, "Yes." Then he asked, "What do girls have?" Before she could reply, he said, "Oh, I know! Girls just have hair!" Too bad that we still can't just let the flame-induced threads die quickly, eh? kat |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: harpgirl Date: 02 Nov 00 - 08:52 PM kat...you don't honestly believe that was me do you? It wasn't...I swear to you on the death bed of my next dying AIDS patient. I did start the World AIDS Day thread, however. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 08:55 PM Kat, My friend took her little boy to the YMCA for swimming classes. It was coed and afterwards the children changed into dry clothes in the ladies locker room (2-4 year olds) before going home. For a full week her son walked around clinging frantically to his penis and would not stop no matter what she said. Finally she got him to talk about it. It seems he had seen the little girls in the locker and assumed that theirs had fallen off.He was terrified of suffering the same fate. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: hesperis Date: 03 Nov 00 - 12:38 AM So now we have the true origin of the concept of 'penis envy'! It was cooked up by a man who was afraid of losing his 'manly parts'! I'm sorry, I had to post... that story was just so cute! |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: BigDaddy Date: 03 Nov 00 - 02:15 AM If the "Mudcat Christian Coalition" is offensive to you, Guest,Jon, then after years of considering myself a number of things other than traditional Christian, I'm almost ready to resume going to church on Sundays and Wednesdays and praying for misguided souls like yourself. As I told Praise recently, she reminds me of the best of my Christian forebears. She seemingly doesn't judge; she simply states her truth and beliefs and apparently practices the Golden Rule. Here at Mudcat there are apparently a number of "coalitions:" Wiccan, Pagan, Christian, "New Agers," skeptics, etc. The best of these seem to have found a way to share a number of things (including beliefs/disbelief) without stepping on toes. When I first arrived here, I innocently asked what "flamers and trolls" were. I guess now I know. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Liz the Squeak Date: 03 Nov 00 - 03:59 AM Well why shouldn't we have these types of discussion here, after all, a Pope in the 1200's outlawed half the Franciscan order because they reckoned that Jesus laughed!! Of course he has a willy, he was a man. There are men in the world who have willies; they don't let it rule their lives, or use it to think with, and they don't go poking them into every known orifice, they just use it to pee with. I mean, you spend a week making a nice planet, you make a being in your own image, and then you make it a partner, and you give them dangly bits. If you're going to go through all that effort to make humans, and THEN make your own son go and live with them, then surely you want him to fit in? LTS |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: KingBrilliant Date: 03 Nov 00 - 08:37 AM I hesitate to post, but.... I'm genuinely interested to know on what basis there would have been a belief that he didn't have a penis? Was it prudery or was there some genuine theological argument? Also, what is Conversion by Fornication, or is that just something someone has made up? Not sure why this thread exists, but I'd like to know the answers to the above questions..... Kris |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Russ Date: 03 Nov 00 - 10:18 AM KingBrilliant, It took the ancient church a while to sort out the appropriate ways to conceptualize and talk about the person, ministry, and purpose of the earthly Jesus. Some early theologians could make no sense out of the notion of a deity (infinite, omnipotent, omniscient, etc.) becoming a human being (finite, limited in all the ways humans are limited). It sounded like logically contradictory nonsense to them. Some couldn't handle the idea of God as a completely spiritual entity (spiritual/nonmaterial = good) truly becoming a human material entity (material/corporeal = bad). Others couldn't deal with the idea of an incarnate omnipotent deity apparently being thwarted and truly suffering, dying, and to all appearances failing. So for a variety of reasons a variety of "theories" denying the true humanity of the earthly Jesus were developed. Sometimes these theologians are grouped together and referred to as "Docetists." They insisted that the earthly Jesus was only an illusion and only seemed to be human, to have been born, to have lived and suffered. You will occasionally run into contemporary Christians who are uncomfortable with the all the implications of a fully human earthly Jesus. You might want to take a look at www.newadvent.org/cathen/05070c.htm |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,sat Date: 03 Nov 00 - 10:39 AM Yaw are a bunch of jackass's and retards |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Jon Date: 03 Nov 00 - 11:20 AM S'OK, Daddy, I know You'd like to be my father, you'd like to be my dad And give me kisses when I'm good and spank me when I'm bad... So would Mother ~Preys'. By all means, believe in and practice whatever superstitious magic you wish- but please don't be surprised if certain individuals object to it being repeatedly shoved in their faces. Please take your condescending superiority and bogus concern for "misguided souls" and stick it firmly in your left ear, Daddyo. And save your "prayers" for someone who asks for them. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: little john cameron Date: 03 Nov 00 - 11:25 AM Help mah Boab gang,lichten up !!! The subject is hilarious.Ha ha ha ha ha ,ah 'm still haein a stroke aboot the "holy earwax" definately a pearl o great price.This has naethin dae dae wi the "Big Yin" it's aboot makin money aff a scam. Ah hae a dissertation aboot a similar subject.Ah 'll see if ah can "resurrect"it efter ah stop laughin.Ah wis nearly threw oot anither site wi this ane. ljc |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: hesperis Date: 03 Nov 00 - 11:42 AM Looking forward to it, LJC!!! I don't mind people living their beliefs in public places as well as in private. I would mind it if people shoved it in my face, and constantly tried to convert me, and told me I'd burn in hell if I didn't go along with them. I don't see any of that here though - just some people who are living their beliefs. You know, it's pretty accepted in psychological circles that if someone has a real problem with other people's beliefs, it usually means he has a problem with his own beliefs. Well, if you have a problem with other people believing whatever they belive, get a therapist and work it out there, ok? If your religion is a part of your life, and a part of who you are, it's going to be evident. But that doesn't mean you are actively trying to convert people to your beliefs. I see no fire-and-brimestone threats here at all. |
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