Thought for the Day (Dec 24-5)

Subject: Thought for the Day (Dec 24-5)
From: Peter T.
Date: 24 Dec 99 - 10:33 AM

One Christmas night, far from home, I was on a long Buddhist retreat filled with silence. We had all been sick with a flu that had gone round the monastery, and we had failed to keep order in our sittings, but we had mostly recovered so it was decided that we would sit all night just to bring us back together again. Somewhere in the early morning, I began to remember Christmases in our traditional home, when I was very young. I remembered the thrill of waking in the pitch black and finding a stocking at the bottom of my bed, with things in it I could not see, but could feel the shape of. And sneaking a light on, to open it and pull things out, and then falling asleep again, and then waking up again, and there would be a silvery light beginning, and I would get up quietly and go downstairs, and there was the great tree, hushed, silver grey in the reflected light from the snow outside, and under it, who knows what wonders. The house all blanketed in quiet.

A silver grey dawn was also on its way where I now was sitting. But I went back into the past again, and I remembered how I used to just sit in the silver shadow of the tree, and watch the morning coming, and I would shiver in the cold, and wrap my dressing gown around me, and wait. Just to sit in the glow of anticipation, and the beauty of the early morning. And I thought then that that was the best part of Christmas for me -- that feeling that the world is about to be made new again, that it was not the gifts themselves, but the gifts symbolized the possibility at every moment of something special coming into the world, a possibility we pay what homage we can to by buying things for others, and which provides the entry point for the parasitical commercialism that drags it all down into the usual crap.

But happily, I only thought about the bad side for a moment. I wrapped my robe around me, and shivered from the cold of an early morning room 20 years in the past. Dawn approached, and there was that feeling, the old quiet that I got caught by, and suddenly recaught again: the bluegrey light of beginning, the silver stillness of a world on the verge of awakening.

And then we got up and chanted the Heart Sutra in 6th century Chinese.....


Merry Christmas to all Mudcatters of all persuasions in the 10 directions....

Subject: RE: Thought for the Day (Dec 24-5)
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Dec 99 - 11:07 AM

.....That one was so good that I don't have a smartass comment. Consider it a Christmas present from the Waylon Heron.

Your description of a young boy's Christmas morn touched me deeply, as I would have described those few years when Christmas is so special in the same way myself. No other experience in my life has had exactly the same feeling as those 3 or 4 years when Christmas night passes so slowly. You wake every half hour and when the light begins to shade your room, you go downstairs to enjoy the anticipation of opening the presents that have miraculously appeared. If I could recapture one experience from my life, it would be that indescribable feeling.

This year I am coming close. Our boys are at that same wonderful age as I was then. Michael is completely wired. We have worked hard to make this a very special year because we know the "special" feelings that we all remember only last a few years. When Mike is fifty and I'm long gone, I want him to have the same warmth in his heart that I do now.

Merry Christmas Peter...and thanks.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Thought for the Day (Dec 24-5)
From: Neil Lowe
Date: 24 Dec 99 - 11:11 AM

...Merry Christmas.

Neil

Subject: RE: Thought for the Day (Dec 24-5)
From: Night Owl
Date: 24 Dec 99 - 11:14 AM

It is a struggle for some of us ....to walk the line between allowing ourselves to feel pain, grief......while fighting to stay on the positive pages. Thank you, Peter, for the picture your words have painted and for helping us focus on that "old quiet" and get back to center this morning...."still" and in awe. You give us wonderful gifts!

Subject: RE: Thought for the Day (Dec 24-5)
From: Peter T.
Date: 24 Dec 99 - 01:46 PM

Take care of yourself, Night Owl, I am thinking of you. You were going to write -- don't hesitate if you feel the need.
Thanks, CP, I wish you the best of Christmases, you deserve it.
And thanks Neil, for being a faithful reader and contributor - Merry Christmas, to you too.
yours, Peter

Subject: RE: Thought for the Day (Dec 24-5)
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 24 Dec 99 - 05:15 PM

Merry Christmas Peter
Your thought for today is a good reminder of what is truly important. The essence of Christmas.
I would also like to thank you very much for this thread. Reading your Thoughts is a meaningful part of my daily routine.
I greatly appreciate your contributions.
I feel so intelligent when I hang around you.
BB

Subject: RE: Thought for the Day (Dec 24-5)
From: Marymac90
Date: 24 Dec 99 - 05:19 PM

Night Owl, you're so right about that struggle. I find it can be so hard to let myself feel those griefs, joys, etc. It can be so much "easier" to put up defenses: make jokes, wise cracks, act tough, get angry or hurt, or just get numb.

This is my first Christmas since my father's death, and I find it difficult to feel the grief. He had a woman that he lived with who made it very difficult for us to be close It just feels like a relief that I don't have to struggle anymore to try to be close to him, while she was struggling to keep me away. I used to avoid visiting him on holidays, because his friend would be more difficult than usual then.

I hope you all are feeling close to those you love, tonight and every night.

Mary McCaffrey

Subject: RE: Thought for the Day (Dec 24-5)
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 24 Dec 99 - 06:01 PM

Oy, Mary can I relate.
My dad remarried and my stepmother and I were like mixing water and oil. Mind you, even if my dad had married Mother Terisa, I would have hated her guts.
But the whole scene made it very difficult for me to express the close relationship I truly had with my dad. All I can say is the pain was overwhelming during the first couple of years after his death.
What ever way you find easiest to deal with the loss of your dad, is good enough. You are doing the best you can. Find the gentlest way for your heart to handle the pain. I have been joking and brushing off big issues for years. But as time goes by, I am able to feel and release more and more of the pain and sadness I have been holding inside for many years.
Mary, I wishing you much kindness to yourself this Christmas.
All the best, Bonnie

Subject: RE: Thought for the Day (Dec 24-5)
From: Night Owl
Date: 24 Dec 99 - 11:03 PM

from Bill Staines' "Quiet Faith of Man"

"You can trust the moon to move the mighty oceans
You can trust the sun to shine upon the land
You take the little that you know
And do the best you can
And save the rest for the quiet faith of man."

Subject: RE: Thought for the Day (Dec 24-5)
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 24 Dec 99 - 11:04 PM

I will never forget one particular Christmas eve when I decided to wait up for Santa. The word word had been going around in school that there was no Santa. I went along with the usual routine of preparing a snack of milk and pumpkin pie for Santa, and then I informed my parents that I was going to wait up and see Santa. They told me that Santa wouldn't stop if I was awake but I remained firmly planted in an easy chair. About that time I heard a tapping on the window ~ I looked up and there, so help me, was Santa shaking his finger at me. I flew up the stairs and into bed faster than Santa could come down the chimney. I still believe in Santa....

Cap't Bob

Subject: RE: Thought for the Day (Dec 24-5)
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 25 Dec 99 - 10:08 AM

Merry Christmas Night Owl
Very much appreciated "Quiet Faith of Man"
It shall become a reminder posting on my bathroom mirror.
Wishing you much happiness,
Bonnie